Hello all. Err.. is it just me, or is there something about the first chapter that is driving people away? Cuz I've got 400-some hits and only 19 reviews...that's screwed up. Whatever, here's chapter 15.
(o.o)Episode Three, Chapter 15: The Dream, Part B(o.o)
"I AM ATOMSK!" The penguin bellowed as it raised its arms/wings/flippers into the air. Andrew yawned and opened a Vanilla Coke that had appeared out of nowhere.
The penguin looked confused. "Err..you have...absolutely no reaction to that? None whatsoever?"
"Nope. You're half of an atom, whoop-de-freakin-doo."
"NOT AN ATOM, YOU BLITHERING HUMAN MEAT SACK! Atomsk. A-T-O-M-S-K. There are two extra letters. An entire extra syllable!"
"Aaaand?"
The penguin faltered. "Haruko...Haruko has never mentioned me? Not at all?"
"N-...well, she mumbled something that sounded like Atomsk while she was asleep once."
"See! There. I am the Pirate King! Scourge of the galaxy! Number one on the Galaxy Space Police Brotherhood's most wanted list! NOW SHUT YOUR FACIAL CAVITY AND LISTEN UP!"
Andrew snickered "Pfft. She said your name once, Jolly Roger. You should of heard her moaning mine in her sleep, heh heh heh...pwn'd..."
"SILENCE!" The Pirate King had taken on a more humanoid form, but there was something lizard/dragon-like about him. Gone was the slight blue aura around him, his entire body was now flashing a vivid blue and his eyes were tennis ball sized white circles. Andrew sat down and shut up.
"I SHALL SAY THIS ONCE AND YOU SHALL LISTEN!"
Andrew nodded meekly.
"Er-hem...Eons ago, I was whole. I roamed the various universes, plundering anything that I deemed mine. Thus was so for a long time. Then I was captured. To this day, I am still uncertain how it happened, but it did. My captors wished to harness my power to fuel their fleet of planet-smoothers. The cell? My own N.O. channel. Unescapable...to anyone or anything else but the Pirate King, of course. I set to work, using the full force of my power to free myself from the mental shackles. After one hundred thousand, eight hundred and ninety-two years, four months, two weeks, three hours, fifty-six minutes and seven seconds, I was free...in a way. I had severely damaged my N.O. channel, so much that I could not return to my own body. So I attempted to venture farther into the N.O. However, when I reached the point where the right and left sides of the brain communicate, I was ripped asunder. Split in two. The splitting of my power caused the channel to grow unstable and suck myselves in, flinging us across the universe. Both my halves had enough power left to set somewhat of a course for ourselves, thank the gods. I affixed myself to your mind. I have been here for fourteen of your Earth years. In an incredible stroke of luck, my other half affixed himself to another human on your planet, let alone this galaxy or universe. He also happened to attach himself at the exact same time I did."
Andrew raised his hand.
"Yes, host body?"
"Hmmph. Who did your other half attach to?"
"You do not know?" Atomsk blinked. "That boy staying with you. Naota Nandaba."
"Ohhhhh. That would explain why Haruko brought him with her..."
"Yes. By any chance, do you not get along very well with Naota?"
"Not really, no."
"I thought not. In the short time I had to communicate with my right half -that makes me the left- I discovered that we did not get along so well, either. He is far too serious.
"Oh, and you're not?"
"I was a penguin only minutes ago. A small, cute, waddling bird. I am serious when I have to be. Such as when I am dealing with one of...sub-par intelligence to my own."
"Bwar. I am NOT stupid. I'm probably smarter than Haruko..."
"OH! That reminds me. I must warn you about Haruko. She is-"
"ANDREW! WAKE UP, YOU INCOMPETENT PROTOZOA!
Andrew's eyes shot open and there was Cory, his hands cupped to his mouth like a megaphone.
"Damn you, midget. Damn you to the deepest pits of hell. I was just getting to something important in my dream!"
"What, the part where you stick it in? Heh."
Andrew yawned. "Shut up. Why did you wake me?"
"Because class is over, and so is school. You slept through Night."
"Whoop-de-freakin-doo. That piece of crap gets a Pulitzer over Eldest? Bull." Andrew snapped.
"Meh. Have you seen your ears lately, Andrew?"
"Goddammit, there is nothing wrong with my ears."
"Beg to differ." Cory said. Andrew reached up to rub his ears again.
"No no, not those ears."
"What the hell do you mean 'not those ears'? I only have two!"
"Wrong. Check the top of your head."
Andrew's had travelled to the top of his scalp and rubbed against something fuzzy. He sighed.
"Goddammit...gimmie a mirror."
Cory did so.
"Er...why do you keep a mirror in your pocket?" Andrew questioned.
"To check for vampires." Cory said, like it was obvious. Andrew adjusted the angle of the mirror and looked at the top of his scalp.
"O...M...F...G..."
Andrew had adorable, fuzzy, bunny rabbit ears. Rather than have more people see them, Andrew did a swan dive out the window, landed on the pavement, and took off towards his house. He ran with incredible speed, because all nerds know that wearing rabbit ears makes you run faster. Duh. He ran up the sidewalk and barged through the door.
"MAID! WRETCH! PROSTITUTE! SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISM! COME HERE OR I'LL HAVE TO THINK UP MORE DEROGATORY NAMES!"
"What do you want?" a voice rang from above him. Andrew looked up and Haruko was standing at the top of the stairs, wearing nothing but a loosely tied bathrobe decorated with penguins.
"...Why are you wearing a robe? Why are you wearing my robe?"
"Becauuuuuuse...yours felt the most comfortable against my soft, naked body..."
"Uh..." Andrew began to say something, but stopped as Haruko appeared next to him out of nowhere and hugged him around the neck. This put Andrew's face -guess where?- right between Haruko's...er...mammaries.
"Ohhhh, these are so CUUUUUTE!"
Andrew felt Haruko poke at his new ears. He flinched slightly.
"Awww..." Haruko then began scratching him between the ears. Andrew's leg began to bounce uncontrollably and he closed his eyes.
-Heaven. This has got to be heaven.-
Then he heard the door open. Andrew pulled his face away from "heaven" just enough to see, with one eye, Naota standing in the doorway.
-Oh, snap. Now I'm in hell...-
Omg! How will Naota react to this rather odd scene? How will Andrew explain? Will Haruko do anything, or just sit back and watch the fight? All of this and more, next time on AmeriKuri: Redux!
-Penguin Tsar
