Did you miss me? evil smirk I know you did, c'mon, you can tell me…

For the reviewers… if any…

Specter: Special thanks to everyone who reviewed. Next time I'll write down your names, I promise. It's gonna get majorly random from here, so bail if you want, or read it for some stupid laughs so can crack up saying 'WTF?' This is my first straight up humor fanfiction I had ever written ('Pretty Kitty' was close) and this also is the only one with chapter names, so I made that a rule for all my YGO fics… as far as posting goes, I think the SonicX and Digimon one-shot I wrote were the first… To-ni-kaku, thanks again. ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!

ON WITH THE FIC, DAMNIT! cackle

Specter: Feel better?
Yami:
Bakura:
Ryou: I do, Specter-kun. Marshmallow?
Specter: Yum. Thankies.
Yugi: I think we should just start. noticing Yami and Bakura are pissed
Specter: Okay. Bakura, do the disclaimer.
Bakura: Hmph.
Specter: …Oh Bakura! I love your hair! Lemme touch it! reaches out to touch it
Bakura: ACK SHIT! SPECTER DOESN'T OWN YU-GI-OH! GET AWAY FROM MY HAIR!
Specter: Note for everyone; when I say Bakura I mean Yami, who is now in Bakura. When I say Yami I mean Bakura, who is now Yami. Get it?

……………………………………………………

………….and now it's time…………………………….

…………………………………………

Go Home. Now.

"So can I call you Bakura since you're now him?"

"Fine."

"What about you? Can I call you Yami?"

"No. You must call me Bakura."

"That's an insult." snapped Bakura (see? I mean Yami).

"Shut it, Pharaoh." Yami snarled (see? I mean Bakura).

"Well you can't both be Bakura so you're Yami until you get your body back. Comprende?" said Yugi. "So when Téa and Joey and Grandpa ask you have to answer as Yami."

"WHAT? You expect me to be like him until your tiny ass figures out a way to change me back?" Yami anime forehead pulse Ryou couldn't hide a small laugh at how Yami had only said 'me.' "What?" Bakura snarled.

"Oh, I never knew the Pharaoh was so selfish. 'Change me back?' Oh dear…"

"Urusei."

"Is he always this grouchy?" Yugi asked.

"Since he's used to me, no." Yugi anime fallback "Perhaps the answer can only be found alone, or in something simple. You should return home and brew on it. They might change and we won't notice."

"You say that like were not right beside you to hear it." Bakura said as Yugi retrieved his school stuff.

"Well, in any case, thanks again Ryou," said Yugi, standing outside the other hikari's door. Bakura sat on the back of his legs in a sobbing mess (Bakura anime squiggle tears) behind the British teen, too saddened to say goodbye.

"Anytime Yugi. You be good Bakura… I mean Yami." Ryou closed the door to Yami's ferocious shouts. Yami mega anime forehead pulse

"I AM NOT YAMI EVEN IF I DO HAVE HIS DAMN VOICE AND BODY!" Even Bakura—pitifully sobbing as he had been moments before—couldn't ignore that.

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE ME, DAMNIT! AND I DON'T EVER REMEMBER SAYING I EVER WANTED TO BE YOU, EVEN IF I DID LOOK AND SOUND LIKE A DEMENTED PSYCHOMANIAC!" Bakura shouted—through the still closed door however… Bakura mega anime forehead pulse

"So, Bakura… welcome to my world. You live with me so don't feel uneasy about anything. Except for maybe the stove, I dunno. Yugi told me the stove was cursed to be against you." Ryou said.

"It is, it always gives me those little blue shocks that fry the ends of my bangs," Bakura protested. "He's never fried himself?" he asked.

"Of course you haven't, you use the microwave, mate."

"I do?" You could almost see the confused question mark coming off the side of Bakura's head. Ryou smiled and nodded.

"Yes, you do." Bakura stared at Ryou for a long moment.

"Oh. I get it." Ryou rolled his eyes.

"And here I was thinking Bakura was slow…"

Elsewhere (meaning Yugi's house)…

"What are you doing? You've been in there for an hour!"

"Can't I drown myself in peace?"

"NO! You are not Yami!"

"Really? The last time I checked I was…"

"Yet you yourself loudly protested outside Ryou's door that you were Bakura." The bathroom door flew open. Yami's face and hair dripped with water. "You're gonna need a lot of hair gel to get that back up you know…"

"I am Bakura. I'm just Yami too." Yami said.

"How obvious was that?" muttered Yugi.

"Drowning myself kills to birds with one stone; the Pharaoh and my already wounded dignity." Yami turned back but Yugi grabbed him and closed the door.

"It's my job to protect you as much as you protect me, so sue me if I won't let you drown quite so easily, or in the very least, my own bathroom…"

"Not a bad idea…" Yami muttered, pondering how much he could pawn off the hikari should he actually be sued as the said hikari led him to the kitchen.

"Can you cook?" Yugi asked, taking a bag of popcorn from a cupboard.

"Am I supposed to?" asked Yami, slouching over the island.

"Hey, you'll fit into Yami in no time at this rate." Yugi cheered. Yami glared at him. "Try using the stove. Here." Yugi got a frozen pizza (a/n: what do you guys like? Personally I go for DiGornio or however you spell it. Ryou: sounds good to me. Yugi: I'll eat it, no problem.) and slid it over to Yami. "This should be good…" he said under his breath, putting his popcorn in the microwave. Yami reached out to set the cook timer, and when his finger was within a centimeter from the buttons, a sharp blue spark passed between it and him.

"OW SHIT! What did I do!" snapped Yami. He turned to find Yugi stifling his laughter. "What happened!" he snarled.

"Hey, don't blame me, I guess the fact that you're the Pharaoh in body means the stove is still cursed against you," Yugi said almost singsong as he opened up his bag of popcorn (a/n: see? Psycho popcorn madness! Will come into play again).

"I AM NOT THE PHARAOH!" Yami anime forehead pulse

"Yugi, is that you making all that noise?"

"Mn-nn, thas Yani Granfa." called Yugi through a mouthful of popcorn.

"What did you say Yugi?" called Solomon, entering the kitchen. "Oh Yami, having a fight with the stove again are we?"

"I'm not Yami damnit!" (he retained the anime forehead pulse to this point too)

"Uh, he's gone and gotten himself drunk with Bakura," said Yugi. How ironic… Yugi though. Anime sweatdrop "Doesn't have the faintest clue what he's saying. C'mon Yami, go out into the living room and lay down or you'll make your hangover worse when it comes around."

"I am not drunk."

"I said go lay down!" Yugi snapped. "Excuse us for a moment Grandpa." Yugi stalked over to Yami and trucked him. This is quite easy for someone of Yugi's height to accomplish by merely picking up victims legs beneath them, essentially what he did to Yami. When the Pharaoh was down, Yugi dragged him by his legs out to the living room, then went back to the kitchen for his popcorn.

"Everything alright?" Solomon asked.

"Oh yeah. You have to be a little stern sometimes with those drunk pharaohs."

"I AM NOT THE PHARAOH!"

Elsewhere (meaning Ryou's apartment)…

"Get away from me!"

"Stay put so I can get you…"

"Nooooooo! Help!"

"If you wish."

"Oh shit—"

Don't think nasty you pervs (a/n: there are several other spots with settings like the one above, so be prepared). Tired of killing himself on other appliances, Bakura and Ryou started a tournament round of Tekken 5 on Ryou's Xbox. The hikari would be victorious against Bakura anyway, mainly because the real tomb raider only picked one character, Law. Bakura now had been boxed into a corner of the screen by Ryou and quickly K.O.ed for the twelfth time in a row (Yami: teach me to play these games before you randomly make me play them in some random fic!)

"And you lose again, mate."

"You have a kickboxing rabbit!" Bakura protested. Anime forehead pulse

"Kangaroo." Ryou corrected, still smiling cheerily.

"Whatever, I don't care what the hell it is, it's kicking my ass."

"Spoken like a true tomb raider." A pounding on the door reached their ears.

"Expecting someone?" asked Bakura, starting a new round.

"That'll be Marik coming to see you." said Ryou.

"Oh hell no." said Bakura, dropping the controller.

"PERFECT!" the game announced, as Ryou smashed Jin without a hit.

"Your TV's against me too," grumbled Bakura as Ryou let in Malik's yami.

"Take him and leave whenever," said Ryou, smiling. "He's a little drunk at the moment—must have been that alcoholic chocolate he ate—so you'll have to set him straight."

"Or make things worse, right?" said Marik, grinning.

"Yes, of course." Marik grabbed Bakura's arm and dragged him out while Ryou waved good-bye.

"Say hello to Malik for me?" Ryou called, ignoring Bakura's mouthed pleas to save him. Marik raised his free hand to assure he heard. "I never realized how evil I am." Ryou said, returning to his game. "Oh well."

……………………………………………………………………………………

Yami: Tell me what you're going to do to me.
Bakura: Yes, please do.
Specter: I think he's going to attack you. (Marik attack Yami, who is now housing Bakura)
Yugi:
Ryou:
Yami:
Bakura: NANI!
Yami: I like that idea.
Yugi: So what, he's gonna knock on my door and ask for Yami so he can attack him?
Ryou: That'd be hilarious.
Yami: Especially if he fell for it.
Bakura: Anime forehead pulse Soon Pharaoh. Soon.