Well, welcome back everyone. I hope everyone is enjoying today... whatever day you happen to be reading this. Sunday for me as I type this up.

So... as several of you pointed out in your reviews... there was a lot that happened last chapter. How about we cover the elephant in the room first of all; Shikinami. Many of you have probably seen Thrice Upon a Time by now. Or, if you haven't, you've probably seen spoilers. If you haven't, I highly suggest you just skip past this whole author's note.

(EXCEPT FOR THE MUSIC GUIDE, WHICH WILL BE NEAR THE BOTTOM! DON'T SKIP THAT! ANYHOW, AFTER THIS POINT IS POTENTIAL SPOILERS UP UNTIL THE MUSIC GUIDE!)

So, yeah, Shikinami is a clone. So, did I just throw in Shikinami from out of nowhere? No! I did not, actually. However, Thrice Upon a Time did have an effect on exactly when I revealed her. That aside though, as I've said numerous times, this piece of fanfiction is supposed to be a melding from all of Evangelion. And, it was clear from as early as 2.22 that Shikinami was a different character from Sohryu, what with her not being afraid of dolls and her hair color. (Also, side note! I am colorblind as fuck with red-green deficiency! If I get any color related descriptions wrong in this fic PLEASE feel free to message me and correct me. I currently have to rely on the character description sections of wikis to figure out a character's eye color.) And, on top of her different name matching up with Rei's naming conventions, the idea did occur to me that she might be a clone. I didn't know however until I read the script for Thrice Upon a Time.

I guess, at the end of the day, what I'm saying here is... I do have a plan for Shikinami. I didn't just throw her in to throw her in. She was always going to appear in this story in some form or another.

Anyways though. I got a lot of good reviews between posting last chapter and this chapter and many of them will give me lots of stuff to explain here. Thankfully, I'm not nearly as sleepy posting this chapter as I was posting last chapter. And, I hope that for anyone who cares, you'll find my responses enlightening. So, let us begin.

Bigmike33321: I like these two reviews you left, especially as one of them touches on something I've been waiting for someone to point out. As I mentioned further up, these will give me lots to talk about. So, regarding Ritsuko first of all. I'm happy you pointed out Lithium as being a 'slippery slope.' I actually intentionally chose lithium because of it being a slippery slope. I wanted to show Ritsuko's professionalism breaking and her becoming sloppy or uncaring. She's under a lot of stress, especially as we've seen in the previous chapter and as we'll see in future chapters, keeping secrets for Gendo. As well as that, there were several moments in both the anime and the manga where her professionalism started to slip away under her stress. Destroying the Rei clones in the anime. Garroting Rei in the manga. But, this isn't the Anime or the Manga. And Ritsuko in JHPL isn't the same Ritsuko as in the anime or Ritsuko in the Manga. But, I'm trying to keep up the theme of her occasionally cracking. As for the hybrid stuff... I am familiar with the genetics surrounding it and, as I currently live on a farm, I'm also aware of mules (and hinnys) but... hmm... lets just say, I wanted to leave things open. But, at the same time, I wanted to introduce some doubt. EVERYONE READING THIS, TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL! SPOILERS! BUT NOT EXPLICITLY! I can't say anymore but, I want to.

Useful76: Ah, I'm glad it took you awhile to finish last chapter because it took me a freakin' while to write it. Usually, it takes me... hmm... maybe 1-2 weeks to type out a 15,000-30,000 word chapter. (Granted, I obviously can't always sit down for a week at a time. If I could, I'd get these chapters out a lot faster.) But, Staining The Twilight Black (For anyone who doesn't know, that's actually a title that appears in the Evangelion manga and I've been waiting forever to use it) took me about 5 weeks to type out. And uh, also with you mentioning the Shikinami clones... well, yeah. I already touched on that a bit further up. And the American Pilots, I can also understand. Honestly, I was worried about adding them. Especially with how people initially reacted to Mari. I seem to remember a lot of people not liking her originally, though I think a lot of people have started to warm up to her with Thrice Upon a Time. Even so though, I was still worried about adding Ahni and Amelia. And I can totally see how... well, you know, having their story told in a report might not be the most engaging thing. There's... obviously going to be more of them. However, with me sorta having a surprise reveal for them last chapter, I sorta wanted to turn the focus back to Rei, Asuka, and Shinji. Though, they do appear in name part way through to push the plot forward a bit.

TheHiddenAuthor5000: Gosh... I can only imagine you're really not liking the story much so far. I'm sorry about that... GUYS, LISTEN, EVERYONE READING, I SWEAR, MISATO WILL GET SHINJI! I PROMISE YOU! I know it doesn't seem like it right now. Its going to happen though. I've found a way to make it happen. But, it's just, Misato getting with Kaji was sort of... necessary with the way I had originally written the first scene of this story. Um... that was just a big part in pushing Asuka towards Shinji. Rei getting with Shinji first was also necessary so I could exacerbate Asuka's loneliness and make her move on him regardless of his relationship status. Once again, Misato is confirmed in the pairing! I just need to... put some things behind her.

Hellsink Bathhall: I know I've probably said this a couple times, but it's so nice to still have you here, dude. You've been here since the beginning and I hope you'll be here till the end... which is still a long ways off. (Speaking of which, if anyone here is thinking about killing yourself... don't... Or if you're truly dead set on it, at least wait until after I've finished this story. Maybe you'll have found a reason to live by then. I know. It's taking a long time. And I'm legitimately sad for all my readers who've died in the past 5 years I've been writing this.) Anyhow, onto the actual review. Um, yes. I'm happy you noticed Amelia's name was based on Amelia Earheart. Um... pretty obvious historical reference. (I also gave her mother a similar middle name to Earheart's middle name) I expected a lot of people to get it. Ahni's naming conventions on the other hand, as you pointed out, are a little more murky. But, lets say... if Amelia's name is a reference to American history, Ahni's is a reference to American literature and fiction. What has happened vs what hasn't or can't happen. Though, I expect pointing out the specific piece of literature she references will be... tricky. I, unfortunately, can't say much more on my reason for naming her the way I did because... spoilers. Weird... I know. Why would a name be a spoiler?

ANYHOW, I think now would be a good time to point out the symbology of Ahni and Amelia. Let's start out with the obvious. They're complimentary opposites. Its almost like... they were born to meet each other. Now, why does that sound familiar? Oh, yes, didn't Kaworu say something like that to Shinji? That's another thing. There were things I wanted to do with Kaworu and Shinji that I couldn't do because of the way the timeline works out in this story. So... Ahni and Amelia are sorta my way of still being able to explore those themes. Keep your eyes peeled, folks. You'll see some parallels. Now, onto their more individual symbology, Amelia is... a representative of Light. She represents order. Experience. History. Restraint. Establishment. Mercy. And seeking an amicable middle ground solution. (Yes, I'm taking this list directly from my notes on my phone right now). Ahni on the other hand, being her opposite represents Darkness. Chaos. Inexperience. Escapism/Fiction. Ferocity. Spontaneousness. And discordance or finding a solution that doesn't lie in the middle ground.

Also, um.. I obviously tied a few bible references into them as well. Because uh... how're you supposed to have Evangelion without a bible reference thrown in here or there? Um... as for Ahni, I can say one of her big bible references is being a forbidden fruit so to speak. Uh, take that how you will... Most of you probably took that in the lewdest way imaginable. Can't blame you. And you're not wrong. BUT that's still a ways away. But uh, yes. In case you were wondering, there is gonna be... more lewd scenes! Oh goodness... Uh, also, for anyone wondering why I didn't actually include their uh... sex scene last chapter. That's because of two reasons. 1. People obviously aren't invested in them much yet. So, I figured people wouldn't care to see any explicitly lewd happenings between them. However, if you would like to see that, please leave a review or message me and I will strongly consider adding in more lewd scenes with them if you would like to see that. 2. Um... honestly, writing just one sex scene is pretty exhausting. So, that's the other reason I didn't put anything in with them last chapter. I've set like a minimum limit of at least 7,000 words for "mainline sex scenes" which is... vague. But, mostly just means... sex scenes consisting of Shinji, Asuka and Rei. Those parameters will obviously change a bit as the story goes on. (Yes, I might as well just admit it. Ahni and Amelia are going to have sex with Shinji, Asuka, and Rei. I wrote a script out just the other night too actually. And let me tell you right now, it was the most cursed and raunchiest thing I've ever written. And that was just the script for the scene, not the scene itself. This is... going to be a really fucking wild ride. And sometimes, I wonder why I signed up for this.)

Blitzstrahl: I get you. Lemme say... first of all... The other clone series are (currently) the "seasoning" and not the "meat." So, try not to worry about them too much. I get it was a lot to take in last chapter. If I can explain... I wanted to set precedent with them while also having a build up to Shinkinami's reveal (that was the seasoning part). Um.. basically, I'm just keeping my doors open. Despite me bringing Ahni and Amelia and Shikinami almost out of nowhere last chapter, I actually don't want to bring characters and ideas up out of nowhere. Even with Ahni and Amelia's surprise reveal last chapter, I had still intended to build up to them in previous chapters. I know it was awhile ago (I am so fucking slow at uploading chapters. I'm so sorry everyone.) but several chapters ago, when Asuka and Rei and Shinji were all walking to school together in the rain, I actually had Asuka bring up that she'd met Commander Bow before. (I know, probably literally no one remembers that. It was months ago and was just a passing reference.) But, even with Ahni and Amelia's out of nowhere reveal last chapter, I had been trying to build up to the events around them if not their actual reveal itself. I did the same thing back in Starry Eyed and Falling Stars at the beginning of the chapter when I also brought up Mark.04's instability and also Unit-05's "mysterious disappearance" that could have potentially been used to introduce Mari in a similar way to the rebuilds if I decided to add her (I did as of 2 chapters back) or could just be used to further build on the mystery of the S2 engine and the introduction of the American Pilots. So, that's all I'm doing. I'm just following my writing process to set things up that I could use in the future. But, I understand it might've been a bit much with everything else happening last chapter.

calborghete: You are absolutely right having both Sohryu and Shikinami will make things... confusing when referencing "Asuka." Thankfully (and sadly) Shikinami will be staying in her room for the foreseeable (from the readers point of view) future. However, she is going to... She'll be out... She'll be out at some point. I can't say how because spoilers. But, she will be out. And, I am currently trying to find a neat solution to clarify which Asuka (and Rei, though Thrice Upon a Time gave me an idea on how to solve Rei's side of that conundrum) I'm talking about (or characters are talking to) once Shikinami and Sohryu start sharing the screen... I mean... scenes. Appearing in the same scenes... You... You know what I mean.

KySocceRref: I am indeed merging a lot of concepts for this story. Hopefully people will believe me now when I say that JHPL is a mishmash of all of Evangelion even though I really didn't have much to prove that with until the most recent chapters. But, yes! I very much intend to continue melding the lore of the different continuities together and taking symbological ques from all of the Evangelion creative works.

TheNotSoFantastique: Ah... you know, I actually... I'm gonna be honest, I haven't decided how I'm going to end Gendo's story yet... So, I'll say yes. Torture could be in the cards as well as many other things. Drowning and Starving could also be a possibility. Um, actually, speaking of torture, uh... torture is actually in the cards for this chapter... And that's all I'm gonna say about that...

Power Taco: You know... I can't even imagine... I mean, I'm the author... and this story is a trip for me! I can't even imagine how much more of a trip it is for you and the rest of my readers when you say its a wild ride for you! Holy shit, I can't wait to show everyone where all this story is gonna go! There is gonna be some stuuuuuuffff that is even wilder than this. I don't wanna tell everyone to wait and see, but that's really all I can say, is just wait and see how freakin' mad this story gets later on. Especially once I get around to posting that lewd scene I scripted out the other night while I was in the middle of writing this chapter. That is gonna be nuts. And... plenty of other stuff too.

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Well, I think that just about covers chapter reviews. So... couple more things before we start the chapter. First of all, music guide is next. However, I wanted to let everyone know, (I've also gone back and notified of this on the 2 earlier chapters) uh, I've tried my best to make ALL OF THE MUSIC used in this story available without needing to go to youtube because youtube can... remove a video for literally whatever reason they feel like. So... just for the sake of the future, I'm trying to make the music downloadable. Once again. Most of it is extended. Sometimes up to an hour. You may not have space to download it. But, hey. You can still play it from the link. Uh, I have posted download links on my companion facebook page for this story. That facebook page is called Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love; A Notice for anyone who doesn't remember. The download links should also have the Subchapter titlecard in the post so you know when to play the music and all that. So, um... with that outta the way, lets get into the music guide.


:Music Guide:
:Song One:

Schoenberg's Verklärte Nacht

This song is actually different from all the previous ones. It will not be played at a titlecard scene transition. This one will actually be played right at the opening of the chapter. So, right after you see *Cruel Angel's Thesis and Eva intro starts playing* you play this song.

For anyone who would like to copy paste the link into YouTube, type up to the ".com" part and copy and paste the following: /watch?v=U-pVz2LTakM

Um... it probably goes without saying, but for anyone who wants to manually search for it, search for: Verklärte Nacht

It should be about 30 minutes long... or so.

If you prefer to download it because maybe it's just more convenient for you, please visit my facebook page where I have provided a link to an MP3 file with the song. I hope you enjoy it. I very much love this song. It starts out very creepy and sinister and eventually changes to a more hopeful sound nearer the end. I'm sure you'll understand why I chose this song because... heads up, there's about to be a traumatic flashback sequence. And I feel the song very much covers the ups and downs of Shinji, Rei, and Asuka's relationship so far.

Also, bonus: There is a poem that goes along with this song. You might find it interesting if you'd like to dig into the symbolism this chapter.


:Music Guide:
:Song Two:

Cruel Dilemme I
Cruel Dilemme II
Cruel Dilemme III
Cruel Dilemme IV

This set of songs should be played when you see the titlecard "The Mile Long Shadow"

The Titlecard will look like this-

/

-The Mile Long Shadow-

/

If you would like to copy and paste the link into youtube, copy the following: /watch?v=UzWkRjATwFQ

If you would like to manually search for it, search for: Cruel Dilemme I-IV

And, uh... once again. It's available for download on my facebook page if that's more convenient for you. Uh, also, this only needs to be played once. And it's not extended. So, it's shouldn't last though the entire subchapter... Unless you want it to... or if you're just a very freakishly fast reader.


And now, with all of that out of the way, uh... have at it I guess. I already typed up Misato's chapter preview. (I know. It's usually the last thing I do. Not this time though.) So I'm outta here. Uh, have fun... being sad... And... uh... reading about Rei being sad. Which I'm sure will make you sad too. Or maybe I'm a softie and it won't make you sad at all and I've failed at my job as a writer.

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Text Guide

Standard Wording

"Spoken Dialogue/Sign Language/Phone Texts"

'Internal Dialogue/Thoughts'

(Flashbacks)

/

[Slash denotes scene transition for the moment; this may be changed in the future so as to become more visible.]

Italicized text, however it is used, is nonstandard and is often used for, but not limited to, emphasized or stressed dialogue, phone texts, sign language, contextual references either through dialogue or narration or exposition, and extra-literary quotations among other things.

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Disclaimer: I do not own or profit off of Neon Genesis Evangelion, The End of Evangelion, or the Rebuilds of Evangelion. I do not own Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langley Sohryu, or any of the other characters/ideas from the Evangelion intellectual property collective. All licenses remain with the proper license holders. If asked to, I will formally remove this story from the hosting website.

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*Cruel Angel's Thesis and Eva intro starts playing*


Neon Genesis Evangelion

A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love

Chapter 38

Rei, Our Sadness of the Heart

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"One most often meets his destiny on the road he takes to escape it."- Jean de La Fontaine

:Previously, on Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love...

In the beginning...

Memory of Gendo:
"Get in The Eva, Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? I THOUGHT I WAS WORTHLESS TO YOU! I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT ME! WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CALL ME NOW, FATHER?"

Memory of Gendo:
"Because now I have a use for you."

Memory of Shinji:
'I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away!'

Memory of Shinji:
"FINE! I'LL DO IT!"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"What a rundown part of the city. Who would want to live here?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh, hello there? Sorry for intruding. It's uh, me… Shinji Ikari."

Memory of Rei:
"Will you get off?"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"Hey, Rei, um… sorry about earlier."

Memory of Rei:
"For what?"

Memory of Shinji:
"For, um… you know…"

Memory of Shinji:
"Hey, um, Rei, aren't you scared at all?"

Memory of Rei:
"About what?"

Memory of Shinji:
"About… getting into the Eva again."

Memory of Rei:
"Why?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Well, I heard you got hurt pretty bad during your first activation test. So, I was just wondering if… if you were still okay with piloting it."

Memory of Rei:
"Yes, I'm fine."

Memory of Shinji:
"But, you don't know when it might go berserk again, right? Aren't you worried? What if it happens in the middle of a battle with an angel and we all die?"

Memory of Rei:
"Tell me, you are Commander Ikari's son, are you not?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yes…"

Memory of Rei:
"Then why are you afraid? Don't you have faith in your father's work?"

Memory of Shinji:
"No! How could I? I mean, how could anyone?"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"Misato, this isn't a good place! Please!"

Memory of Misato:
"Oh, don't worry. I know how you boys are. It'll be done fast, I promise. And besides, if someone walks in... it'll just make it more exciting."

Memory of Shinji:
"Gah, Misato."

Memory of Misato:
"We'll finish this later."

.

Memory of Misato:
"SHINJI, MOVE! GET OUTTA THE WAY!"

Memory of Shinji:
"AHHHHHHHHH, SOMEONE, PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! LET ME OUT OF HERE! AH, AHHHHHH!"

.

Memory of Rei:
"Listen, tomorrow at 0000 hours, Operation Yashima is scheduled to commence. Pilots, Ikari and Ayanami, will report to terminal two at 1930 hours today. 2000 hours, The Evas will be transported to the depot hangars. 2005 hours, we accompany the Evas to staging ground by train. 2030 hours, we arrive at Fortress 2, Futago Mountain. After that, standby for further orders. Tomorrow, when the date changes, the operation will commence.
Your meal."

Memory of Shinji:
"No thanks, I'm not hungry."

Memory of Rei:
"We're departing in 90 minutes."

Memory of Shinji:
"They expect me to get back in that thing? After everything that's happened?"

Memory of Rei:
"They do."

Memory of Shinji:
"It's too much, I don't ever want to be that scared again. Not like that; where I can't even run away."

Memory of Rei:
"You're scared of the Eva? ...Fine, stay in bed."

Memory of Shinji:
"Stay? But, Rei?"

Memory of Rei:
"I will pilot Unit-01 myself."

.

Memory of Shinji:
"Listen Misato, I'm sick of the Evas. I don't want to be the brightest light; I don't want to be any light."

Memory of Misato:
"Shinji, listen, I know it's a lot to ask, and I know you have the biggest responsibility of us all, but I'm relying on you. I need you tonight. NERV needs you tonight. The entire world needs you tonight. Are you really just going to… leave us in the dark like this? If you don't pilot, we'll probably all die. Are you really okay with that?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yeah, I am."

Memory of Misato:
"WELL, I'M NOT, DAMN IT!
I WANT TO LIVE. I WANT TO SEE ANOTHER SUNRISE. I WANT TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND BEYOND TOMORROW, EVEN IF IT'S JUST ONE TERRIBLE FIGHT AFTER THE NEXT. I DON'T CARE. I WANT TO LIVE, SHINJI! I WANT TO LIVE AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO DO IT! I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE A MIRACLE HAPPEN TONIGHT, SO PLEASE, SHINJI, PLEASE. IF YOU WON'T DO IT FOR YOURSELF, THEN AT LEAST PILOT FOR ME. PLEASE, JUST ONE MORE TIME, AND THEN YOU CAN GO AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO PILOT AGAIN."

Memory of Shinji:
"Fine."

Memory of Misato:
"Thank you, Shinji."

You are (not) alone...

Memory of Shinji:
"You know, there's a chance we could both die on this mission."

Memory of Rei:
"You're wrong. You won't die… because I will protect you."

Memory of Shinji:
"Listen, Rei, why do you pilot the Eva?"

Memory of Rei:
"Because it's a bond."

Memory of Shinji:
"A bond?"

Memory of Rei:
"Yes, a bond."

Memory of Shinji:
"With my father?"

Memory of Rei:
"With everyone, for life is most precious."

Memory of Shinji:
"You know, you're stronger than I am."

Memory of Rei:
"That's because… I have nothing else."

Memory of Shinji:
"It's pretty quiet out there isn't it?"

Memory of Rei:
"I believe this is what they call the calm before the storm.
It's time. We should go. ...Goodbye."

.

Memory of Shinji:
"I don't want to pilot the Eva anymore. I don't want to pilot the Eva anymore. I don't want to pilot the Eva anymore. I don't want to pilot the Eva anymore."

Memory of Gendo:
"Effective immediately, the Unit-01 pilot is relieved of duty. Order the Unit-00 pilot to take over the gunner position."

Memory of Misato:
"No, commander, wait. He could have run away but he got in the Eva. As long as he still chooses to fight, we should trust him to see this through.
I'm asking you to have faith in your own son. Have faith with me that he is the Unit-01 pilot."

Memory of Gendo:
"I'll leave it to you then. Do as you see fit."

Memory of Misato:
"Yes, Shinji, I'm here, I'm here."

Memory of Shinji:
"Let's… let's just finish this. Please, I don't want to be in here anymore."

Memory of Misato:
"Of course. One more time then?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I'll do it, Misato."

Memory of Misato:
"Thank you… for trying to give me tomorrow... and all the days after."

Memory of Shinji:
"REI! REI, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? REI!"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"You have nothing? Really? You were just… gonna leave me on that?
And that whole dramatic goodbye thing? Don't do that again, okay?"

Memory of Rei:
"Why are... why are you crying? ...
I'm sorry; I guess I… don't know what to do in situations like this."

Memory of Shinji:
"Well, you could start… by smiling."

Memory of Shinji:
"Come on, Rei. Let's go home."

And she came along...

Memory of Asuka:
"That's the viewing fee! Quite a bargain, Nicht?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, Nein. And you must be the famous third child, am I right?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Y- yes."

Memory of Asuka:
"How's your day?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Umm… uh… g- good?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah? Well, it's about to get a whole lot worse."

.

Memory of Shinji:
"W- WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROOM!
WHO'S CRAP IS THIS?"

Memory of Asuka:
"That is not crap! Those are my belongings!"

Memory of Shinji:
"What about my stuff? Wait, what in the heck are you even doing here?"

Memory of Asuka:
"God, you're an idiot. It's rather obvious you've been replaced. Yeah, I guess Misato wanted a more skilled pilot as her roommate."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"WHAT ARE YOU!? STUPID!?"

.

Memory of Shinji:
'Mom… Maybe father could tell me something about her.'

Memory of Shinji:
"So, you're not gonna answer, huh, dad?"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"THIRD CHILD! MAKE ME CUPCAKES!"

Memory of Shinji:
"C- c- cupcakes?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Jawohl! Cupcakes! Kleiner Kuchen! You're a cook. Now, make them!"

Memory of Shinji:
"B- b- but, I don't know how!"

Memory of Asuka:
"SO LEARN!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU TOTALLY SCREWED UP MY DEBUT JAPANESE BATTLE!"

Memory of Shinji:
"What are you talking about?
You're the one who charged in there acting like an idiot!"

Memory of Asuka:
"IDIOT?! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A COMBAT PILOT! YOU'RE JUST A JERK!"

Memory of Shinji:
"ME?
You were in such a rush to show off, you disregarded procedure! You charged right in when we could have waited!"

Memory of Asuka:
"WHAT WAS THAT? YOU ACTED LIKE A SCARED PUPPY! YOU WERE TOO AFRAID TO DO ANYTHING BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Hallo, Shinji. Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm all freshened up now."

Memory of Shinji:
"GWWWAAAAAHHH! WHY-WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Teehee. What do you think of my body?"

Memory of Shinji:
"What?! Really?! After you told me not to peek and all?!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Hmph, it hurts my pride that you're so uninterested in me. You know, my breasts have come in quite nicely for a girl my age. They're reeeeeeally soft and suuuuper perky. So, how about it? You wanna see the real thing? I bet you've never seen real boobs before."

Memory of Shinji:
"S-stop it! D-don't take it off!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Just kidding! HAHAHA, YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE. YOU'RE BLUSHING RIGHT UP TO YOUR EARS. AHAHAHA, YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO GET TO SEE ME NUDE! OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BREATHE!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Then take my hand and lead the way like a man. And put your hand on my hip, would you?! Like a proper dance! You're supposed to be supporting me; not the other way around."

Memory of Asuka:
"Careful where you stick your fingers, Third Child. If your hands were a little further back, your face would be on fire right now."

Memory of Shinji:
"B- but, you said-"

Memory of Asuka:
"H- Hey! Not there! That's too far forward, you pervert!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Errrrrgh, you are asking for trouble, Third Child! Put your hand back on my hips now! It was fine the first time, you idiot. You were pushing my limits but you didn't break them."

Memory of Asuka:
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO INCOMPETENT? WHY ARE YOU EVEN PAIRED WITH ME? YOU'RE PATHETIC!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Mmmm… mmm… Mmmma… Mmmama… M- mama…"

Memory of Shinji:
"You're still just a child yourself, Asuka."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"OH, IMAGE TRAINING. I JUST BET! I KNOW YOU TRIED TO KISS ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!"

Memory of Shinji:
"YOU CHEAT! YOU WERE AWAKE?"

Memory of Asuka:
"OH MY GOD,
I WAS JUST KIDDING! DID YOU REALLY KISS ME? EWW!"

Memory of Shinji:
"N- N- NO! NO, I DIDN'T. I SWEAR! I STOPPED!"

Can't help falling in love...

Memory of Toji:
"Man, don't tell me you went on a date with her and didn't actually follow up on it by… well… you know; actually dating her!"

Memory of Shinji:
"I mean, I don't know if she really likes me that way."

Memory Of Toji:
"Shinji, she loves you, man. I know you haven't known her as long as me and Kensuke here. But, before you came to Tokyo-3, she never said anything… like, to anyone! She never hung out with anyone. She was always alone. She was alone, man. She was alone! And then you came along, and now she's hanging out with you and Kensuke and me at lunch! And, she's going on all these crazy adventures with us! And… I haven't talked to her about it, but I can see that she always wants to be close to you. She's always near you."

Memory of Shinji:
"That's just because I'm weak and she feels the need to protect me!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"What's up with you two? You seem extra close today…
Hmph. Must be the weather. I guess it is a little bit cold today."

.

Memory of Shinji:
"Hmm, I kinda like the blue one!"

Memory of Asuka:
"What?! The blue one!? But blue is so ugly!"

.

Memory of Rei:
"Do you remember… when you told me to smile, Shinji?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I… yeah, right after Operation Yashima."

Memory of Rei:
"And, do you remember how that night… was just like tonight?"

Memory of Shinji:
"It is a lot like it, I guess."

Memory of Rei:
"It was these hands that came to aid me that night."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei?"

Memory of Rei:
"And, it was I who swore to protect you."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei, what's wrong? Why… why are you crying?"

Memory of Rei:
"I… am not sure. I feel something in my chest. I failed to understand what it was for a long time. However, there was someone who helped me to understand. But, even now, I don't believe I realize what it is I am feeling."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei? I don't understand, Rei. What's wrong. How… how can I help?"

Memory of Rei:
"Nothing is wrong, Shinji. I think… I believe… that… I love you."

And the loneliness in her deepened…

Memory of Shinji:
"It's nothing…"

Memory of Asuka:
"No, what is it, Shinji?! Tell me!"

Memory of Shinji:
"It's nothing, Asuka. Please, just leave it alone."

Memory of Asuka:
"FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME, THEN SAY IT!"

Memory of Shinji:
"It doesn't matter what I say, because no matter what I say, it's always the wrong answer! And that's what I was going to say in the first place. And now you're probably going to hurt me again!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Well, well, well,
looks like the discarded little doll dragged herself out of the gutter after all. Not without incident, though. Look at you. Your clothes are all wet. Didn't you take any care to stay out of the rain? And your hair hasn't even been brushed yet today. I can tell. A perfectly fit look for a broken and abandoned toy such as yourself."

Memory of Shinji:
"Stop it, Asuka! Why do you have to be so hostile to her?! She didn't even do anything to you!"

Memory of Asuka:
"SHUT UP, SHINJI! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! YOU'RE HOSTILE TO YOURSELF, AND YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT! WHO ARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT HOSTILITY!? You, who chose a stupid sex doll for a girlfriend! You, who can't even take on an angel without someone else's help, even when you're inside a giant fucking robot! YOU, WHO CAN'T EVEN STAND UP FOR HIMSELF! You don't even know how miserable you make other people! You don't even get that you're hurting yourself! You're just a pathetic housebroken beta! It's no wonder you have a chalkboard as your significant other! Look at her! She's just sitting there! She won't even come to your defense, like a proper girlfriend would!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Just… JUST SHUT UP, ALRIGHT, ASUKA!? LIKE YOU'RE ANY BETTER! You… YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T GET IT!"

Memory of Rei:
"Pilot Sohryu, restrain yourself."

Memory of Asuka:
"You've got some nerve… for a doll… You… you better… you better start acting like a normal girl. You hear me, you bitch? I don't have any tolerance for you, you goddamn freak!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei, come on. Let's just go."

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, go on, Wondergirl. You're not welcome here. Go back to the filthy gutter of an apartment you crawled out of."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Y- Yeah! Just- Just get out of here you… you… YOU WHORE!"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"I just don't understand what's gotten into her."

Memory of Rei:
"She is suffering, Shinji."

.

Memory of Shinji:
"Misato, I'm home!"

Memory of Asuka:
"She's not here, you idiot. Or did you even bother to check the parking lot on your way back?"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Stupid Shinji."

Getting caught in the middle...

Memory of Asuka:
"Shut up, Shinji! Shut up!
Calm the fuck down and keep quiet, Shinji!"

Memory of Shinji:
"A… Asuka, why're you here?"

Memory of Asuka:
"It was… too cold in my room. So… I just wanted to come in here and… be warm. Will you let me? Just lie here for a while?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I… guess… But, only as long as you don't hit me in the morning."

Memory of Shinji:
"Goodnight, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"Goodnight… Shinji."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Where are you going? It's cold."

Memory of Shinji:
"Gah! Asuka! I- I- I, uh-"

Memory of Asuka:
"Would you just shut up and get back in bed?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I can't get back in bed, Asuka. I… um… I have to go to school and cook breakfast."

Memory of Asuka:
"Stupid Shinji. Can't you just do as you're told?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I am doing what I'm told, Asuka. Misato says I have to go to school, so I'm going to school."

Memory of Asuka:
"Stupid Shinji! You can't just do whatever you're told to do! ...Well, don't you got anything to say for yourself?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I… uh… I'm not sure what you mean?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Look, Shinji. You should just listen to what I say. Okay?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Just what you say?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yes. Just what I say."

Memory of Shinji:
"But what about Mis-"

Memory of Asuka:
"No, no! Just what I say."

Memory of Shinji:
"Well, yeah, but what about NER-"

Memory of Asuka:
"No!"

Memory of Shinji:
"And my fath-"

Memory of Asuka:
"Absolutely not!"

Memory of Shinji:
"But, Asuka, If I only listen to you-"

Memory of Asuka:
"Then you won't have to worry about anything. So, just get back in bed."

Memory of Shinji:
"But-"

Memory of Asuka:
"BUT WHAT, SHINJI?!"

And so she boiled over...

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji! Would you get out here? Dinner isn't going to cook itself!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Auh, Asuka, no! Just-"

Memory of Asuka:
"What… the hell… are you doing?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka…"

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Wha…"

Memory of Asuka:
"What… are you doing? In here I mean? What are you doing in here?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, I…"

Memory of Asuka:
"It's okay. You can tell me. What were you doing?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, its not- I wasn't-"

Memory of Asuka:
"It's not what? What weren't you doing?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, what are you doing?"

Memory of Asuka:
"No, what are you doing? Why are you in here? You should be in the kitchen cooking diner."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, you… you're acting weird."

Memory of Asuka:
"I'm not acting weird. You're acting weird. You should just tell me what's wrong."

Memory of Shinji:
"What's wrong? Asuka, what do you mean what's wrong? I don't understand."

Memory of Asuka:
"I don't understand either."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka? Wha- What're you doing?"

Memory of Asuka:
"No, Shinji. What are you doing?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, you- You should just go! Please! I need to- I need to…"

Memory of Asuka:
"You need to what, Shinji? What do you need to do?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, please, don't touch me. Just go. I don't want to talk right now."

Memory of Asuka:
"You don't want me around you? But, why? We're friends."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, you're really… frightening me."

Memory of Asuka:
"You're frightening me too. You're trying to leave, just like him. Just like Kaji. You're trying to abandon me."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, I don't know what you mean. I'm not going anywhere. I just need to be alone. Please, this isn't right."

Memory of Asuka:
"You hate me?"

Memory of Shinji:
"What? No! Asuka! I don't… I don't know what you're even talking about. Just, please… Just let me…"

Memory of Asuka:
"Let you what, Shinji? Are you going to run away? You're going to run away from me?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Don't touch me, Asuka!"

Memory of Shinji:
"ASUKA, PLEASE! DON'T HIT ME! STOP! DON'T DO THIS!"

Memory of Asuka:
"YOU'RE LUCKY MISATO ISN'T HOME OR I'D GET YOU PUT INTO A FUCKING PRISON."

Memory of Shinji:
"WHY, ASUKA? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? PLEASE! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

Memory of Asuka:
"I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, SHINJI! I HATE EVERYONE!"

Memory of Shinji:
"ASUKA, PLEASE STOP IT!"

Memory of Asuka:
"WHY DO YOU HATE ME, SHINJI!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I DON'T HATE YOU!"

Memory of Asuka:
"YES, YOU DO!"

Memory of Shinji:
"I DON'T! I DON'T HATE YOU!"

Memory of Shinji:
"WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME!? WHY?! KAJI HATES ME! MISATO HATES ME! YOU HATE ME! EVEN AYANAMI HATES ME!"

Memory of Shinji:
"NOBODY HATES YOU, ASUKA! PLEASE, JUST STOP, PLEASE!"

Memory of Asuka:
"NO! EVERYONE HATES ME!"

Memory of Shinji:
"ASUKA, STOP IT!"

Memory of Asuka:
"I… hate you. Why… won't you FIGHT BACK!"

Memory of Shinji:
"ASUKA, PLEASE! WE'RE FRIENDS!"

Memory of Asuka:
"You… you were thinking about her, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU, SHINJI?!"

Memory of Shinji:
"YES! Yes! I was thinking about Rei! Please, don't hit me!"

Memory of Asuka:
"YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND THEN! I HATE HER! I HATE REI AYANAMI! I FUCKING HATE HER!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Why, Asuka? WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"She always acts better than me! SHE ACTS LIKE A DOLL! AND EVERYONE LIKES HER MORE THAN ME. SHE DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE FRIENDS AND SHE HAS MORE THAN ME!

Memory of Shinji:
"I've never seen you trying to make friends either, Asuka!"

Memory of Asuka:
"BECAUSE I HATE EVERYONE! ESPECIALLY HER! SHE ACTS LIKE SHE'S A BETTER PILOT TOO! BUT I KNOW I'M BETTER THAN HER! AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS IT TOO. BUT SHE STILL ACTS BETTER THAN ME!"

Memory of Shinji:
"She's not acting like anything, Asuka! She's just doing what she's told!"

Memory of Asuka:
"THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM! SHE ACTS LIKE SHE CAN DO ANYTHING JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SAYS FOR HER TO DO IT! AND SHE CAN'T! IF I WEREN'T THERE WHEN THE SEVENTH ANGEL ATTACKED, YOU AND HER WOULD BE DEAD!"

Memory of Shinji:
"I saved you that day too! I'm the one who pulled you out of the volcano! AND I WENT AGAINST ORDERS TO DO IT! AND I DID IT BECAUSE YOU WERE MY FRIEND!"

Turning things around…

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"What, Shinji!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"It's cold."

Memory of Asuka:
"Good. It'll numb the pain."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"What?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Why did you try to touch me last night? ...Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Just be quiet, Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"Hey, Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah? What?"

Memory of Shinji:
"How… how did you get all those bruises a few weeks ago?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, pretty much. So, basically, I ran away while you and… Aya…nami went on that… d- date."

Memory of Shinji:
"But, weren't you and Misato going to go get diner?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, we were. But, then she slipped up and told me she raped you. So, I freaked out. And, I ran away. And… it was raining. And, I remember I was really cold and I was drunk. And, I was hungry. And, so I went into a store and I tried to steal some food because I didn't have any money. But, I… I fucked up. And I tripped, and the guy got angry. And he… tried to…"

Memory of Shinji:
"If you don't want to say anything, you don't have to."

Memory of Asuka:
"No! I'm fine. But… He tried to rape me."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, I-"

Memory of Asuka:
"Misato killed him. She shot him… I don't know what happened to him after that. I don't know what happened to his family. It wasn't in the news. I don't even know if they know he's dead. I try not to think about it. But, I guess NERV made him disappear. …He deserved it. But, it's still fucked up. What if he had kids or something?"

Memory of Shinji:
"N- No! Asuka, you can't think like that. Maybe he didn't have a family."

Memory of Asuka:
"Like me? I… don't have a family."

Memory of Shinji:
"I didn't…"

Memory of Asuka:
"My father is a dirty cheater. He doesn't love me. He hasn't talked to me in years. He started dating my biological mom's nurse when she was in the hospital. And, the nurse was a bitch. So, now I have a bitch mother and my entire relationship with her is completely fake. She's the only one who used to talk to me besides Kaji. But, now even Kaji doesn't want to talk to me. And, my mother only cares about how much success I can bring her. Luckily, NERV cut her out of my pay, not that I get paid that much anyways. But, still. The last time she really talked to me was right before I came here to Japan. And, she hasn't talked to me since because she doesn't actually care about me and she's probably pissed that she's not getting royalties from NERV. And, of course you're probably wondering why my biological mother didn't step in to stop all this from happening, and it's because she's fucking dead! She was fucking insane and she killed herself! And she tried to fucking kill me too!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… I don't… I don't even know what to say."

Memory of Asuka:
"There's nothing to say."

Memory of Shinji:
"You… you can cry if you want. I won't tell anyone."

Memory of Asuka:
"I don't want to cry. It's pointless. It won't do anything."

Memory of Shinji:
"It might make you feel better."

Memory of Asuka:
"No, it won't Shinji!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"What?!"

Memory of Shinji:
"You're my family, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji… I promised myself that I wouldn't cry ever again. Fuck."

Memory of Shinji:
"It's okay, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"I hate this, Shinji. I hate everything. …but, I don't want to hate it."

.

Memory of Rei:
"I spoke with Doctor Akagi last night. She said that she may be able to produce a means to help with pilot Sohryu. But, she asked that I speak with you first."

Memory of Shinji:
"Oh, okay. Well, what do we need to talk about?"

Memory of Rei:
"She said that I would have to confirm if you were capable of going behind Pilot Sohryu's back and placing medicine into her meals. It would require measurement and would have to be separate from Captain Katsuragi's meals as well as yours."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei… I uh… I don't know if I could do that. That sounds… really dishonest. But… listen, I have something to tell you too. Asuka… she… I don't know what happened to her. But, she really opened up to me this morning before school. So, maybe we wouldn't need to do anything like that. And, now that you mention it, I kind of feel like if we tried to trick her into taking medicine, it might break the trust I've built with her. But, if I can just talk to her some more, maybe I'll be able to help her. And, maybe I could get her to like you too."

Memory of Rei:
"I love you, Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"I love you too, Rei."

Memory of Asuka:
"Congratulations. You two should just get married already."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asu- Asuka?! You didn't hear anything, did you?"

Memory of Asuka:
"I heard the door moving around some. I just figured I'd come up here and check on you. Make sure you weren't doing anything Misato would do. Of course, I find you just hugging her. I mean, Jesus, did you even kiss her or are you actually that innocent. How often do you two even make out?"

Memory of Rei:
"We kissed."

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, yeah? Prove it. Kiss him right now."

Memory of Rei:
"Is that an order?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Fuck yes, it is an order, Ayanami!"

Memory of Asuka:
"You still need to work on your form. It's obvious you're an amateur. You're not even sticking your tongue in his mouth... Um, Ayanami? Hello? Are you done? ...Okay. Okay! That's enough, Ayanami. He still has to take me home!"

Memory of Rei:
"You did not order me to stop."

Memory of Asuka:
"Jesus Christ, are you kidding me!?"

Memory of Rei:
"No, Pilot Sohryu. I am not kidding."

Memory of Asuka:
"Well… just… wipe that spit off your face. It's… lewd …and disgusting. ...Shinji, come on. We're going home!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh, alright. Come on, Rei. Let's go."

Memory of Asuka:
"Huh? What? Why are you bringing her?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I always bring her home now, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"And, what!? That's why you let me walk home alone so I can get snatched off the street!? She's your excuse!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"What? No! Of course, not! You can walk with us if you want."

Memory of Asuka:
"That's stupid! Why can't she just walk home by herself?"

Memory of Shinji:
"She's my girlfriend, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"Hmph! Fine!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"I still don't know why you have to take her home. She could get home herself."

Memory of Shinji:
"You could walk home by yourself too, Asuka. But, she's my girlfriend. That's why I walk her home."

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, but I'm your roommate. And… your family now too, I guess if what you said this morning is true."

Memory of Shinji:
"Well, I don't really know what you want me to do, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"You should dump her. She doesn't even know how to kiss. And half the time, I don't think she even knows how to talk. I don't think I've even heard her say a hundred words since I came here. And all the words she does say are the same ones she's said a million times before. Yes, Ma'am. No, Ma'am. Is that an order?"

Memory of Shinji:
"But, Asuka, that's why I love her. She's so… strange that she makes me feel not as weird. She makes me feel like I fit."

Memory of Asuka:
"I don't think you even love her. You've only been together for like a week."

Memory of Shinji:
"Well, yeah. Maybe. But, Asuka, I haven't known her for only a week. She… she saved my life."

Memory of Asuka:
"Hmph! That's nothing special. I've saved both of your lives."

Memory of Shinji:
"That's true. But, she saved my life a different way, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"What's that supposed to mean?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… before I came here, I just existed. I didn't really care if I lived or died. She changed that. Now… I might kind of want to live."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji! Hey, Shinji!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Hmm, yeah? What?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Jeez, don't tell me you're still daydreaming about her."

Memory of Shinji:
"Maybe a little bit."

Memory of Asuka:
"Hey, Shinji?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Hmm?"

Memory of Asuka:
"I'm sorry… for hitting you."

Memory of Shinji:
"It's… okay, Asuka. I guess I deserved it. I shouldn't have been doing that last night."

Memory of Asuka:
"No, I mean all the time… I'll try not to do it anymore."

She needed someone to rest her head on too...

Memory of Asuka:
"Here's your stupid glasses back. I didn't need them after all."

Memory of Shinji:
"That doesn't tell me anything, Asuka."

Memory of Rei:
"Why did she have your glasses, Shinji?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I don't know. She's been sneaking into my room recently..."

Memory of Asuka:
"I have not!"

Memory of Rei:
"Have you been stealing, Pilot Sohryu?'"

Memory of Asuka:
"N- no! He said I could borrow them earlier today before school!"

Memory of Rei:
"Why?"

Memory of Asuka:
"None of your business, Wondergirl!"

Memory of Shinji:
"She didn't say why. She just wanted them."

Memory of Asuka:
"Why can't you all just get the fuck out of my business!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"SHUT UP! They're more my friends than they are yours! You don't even know what it's like! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE AN EVA PILOT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO ALL BE HOLDING EACH OTHER'S LIVES IN THE PALMS OF OUR HANDS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF BOND THAT IS! SO DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME ABOUT FRIENDS!"

Memory of Toji:
"Hmph. That may be so… Maybe I don't know what that's like. But, if you really have that kind of bond with them, THEN WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU TALK TO THEM AND SHOW THEM THE CONFIDENCE THEY DESERVE!? ...At least I know how to treat my fellow human fairly!"

Memory of Asuka:
"BECAUSE THAT'S MY CHOICE! MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO START SHIT NO ONE CAN SOLVE! AND I DO TREAT MY FELLOW MAN FAIRLY! I TREAT YOU ALL EXACTLY LIKE YOU DESERVE! I'M THE ONE HOLDING ALL OF YOU UP. THE WORLD RESTS ON MY SHOULDERS! MY FRIENDS' LIVES ARE IN MY HANDS! AND I HAVE TO CARRY ALL OF IT WITH EVERYONE ELSE GRABBING ONTO MY ANKLES BEGGING NOT TO BE LEFT BEHIND! SO I DRAG THEM THROUGH THE DIRT… because that's all I can do… And if they're not gonna contribute, the dirt is where they belong."

Memory of Toji:
"Aren't you supposed to be their hero?"

Memory of Asuka:
"I'm no hero. I'm not saving the world for them; I'm saving the world for me."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"What the FUCK is going on?! HER FUCKING EYES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING GLOWING LIKE THAT! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!"

Memory of Shinji:
"I KNOW THAT, ASUKA!"

Memory of Asuka:
"MISATO! PLEASE!- … NO, MISATO, THERE'S SOMETHING FUCKED UP HAPPENING WITH AYANAMI. … I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Her face. Oh god, her eyes. JESUS CHRIST, I CAN'T LOOK AT IT ANYMORE! JUST HURRY! I THINK SHE'S DYING! GAH-"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka? ASUKA!? WHAT'S WRONG?!"

Memory of Asuka:
"I don't know… Shinji. I think I'm dying."

Memory of Shinji:
"NO! DON'T SAY THAT!"

.

Memory of figmental Gendo:
"You chose to stay, didn't you!?"

Memory of figmental Shinji:
"YEAH! I DID! OKAY?"

Memory of figmental Gendo:
"THEN YOU ARE THE PILOT OF EVANGELION UNIT-01? CORRECT?"

Memory of figmental Shinji:
"ONLY BECAUSE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE TOLD ME TO! EVERYONE EXPECTED ME TO!"

.

Memory of Rei:
"Pilot Sohryu, if you require sustenance, you are welcome to stay for dinner."

Memory of Asuka:
"What! But! I- That- That would be weird! I'd be like.. a third wheel. It would be so awkward."

Memory of Asuka:
"Wait, but Shinji!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Hmm?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Um… can we do something this weekend? Erh- uh, tomorrow!? Tomorrow is Saturday. Could we do something ...Together, I mean since we're… uh… family?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh, yeah, sure. If you want."

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, uh… o… kay…"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"Well… It's just… my father. He's like… your guardian. And… I just..."

Memory of Rei:
"You what?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I just don't know if he'd be okay with us sharing the same bed is all."

Memory of Rei:
"Shinji, come. It will be fine."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei, this is okay, right?"

Memory of Rei:
"Yes. Of course. I will always protect you, Shinji. There is no cause for you to worry."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Sh- Shinji!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yep. It's me. Uh, haha!"

Memory of Asuka:
"SHINJI!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Uh, Asuka, um, what's going on?"

Memory of Shinji:
"So, Shinji! You ready to go!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh, g-go!? Go where? I just got home."

Memory of Asuka:
"Go hang out, of course! You said we would yesterday."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Hey, what's with the yawn! I'm not that boring, am I?"

Memory of Shinji:
"What!? N-no! I just didn't sleep well last night."

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah? Why's that? I figured with Ayanami, you'd sleep like a baby… You usually seem to fall asleep pretty easily when we sleep together."

Memory of Shinji:
"Trust me, I don't fall asleep easily when I'm with you; it just seems like it."

Memory of Asuka:
"Huh? What's that supposed to mean? You're always still as a brick. What're you doing if you're not sleeping?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Usually trying to remain as still as possible."

Memory of Asuka:
"Why!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"So I don't wake you up and make you angry or accidentally touch you."

Memory of Asuka:
"So… You're really that scared of me, huh?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Say, I'm getting kinda hungry. How about we go get something to eat?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yeah, sure. Where do you wanna go?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Hmm… I kinda want doughnuts. But… I'm worried I'll get fat."

Memory of Shinji:
"You're not fat, Asuka. I don't think a few doughnuts would hurt."

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, but doughnuts also aren't always very filling."

Memory of Shinji:
"Good. I'll just make something when we get home then."

Memory of Asuka:
"Well, yeah, but-"

Memory of Shinji:
"And besides, there's a doughnut shop I know that has coffee too. And I could use some right about now."

Memory of Asuka:
"You're so stupid, Shinji. But that's okay."

.

Memory of Gendo:
"Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"Y-Yes!? Father- Uh, Commander!"

Memory of Gendo:
"I heard what happened. You did very well, Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"Oh, uh, thank you, Sir!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"YOU! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE!?"

Memory of Misato:
"Rei's actually going to be living with us from now on. Her apartment was declared to be in an unsafe zone of Tokyo-3 until the safety crews and NERV say otherwise. And NERV can't have their Pilots roaming around dangerous areas. So, Commander Ikari entrusted her to me indefinitely."

Coming to trust one another...

Memory of Rei:
"Good morning, Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"Good morning, Rei."

Memory of Asuka:
"Please don't get up, Shinji. I just got comfortable again even though I doubt I'm going to be able to go back to sleep."

Memory of Shinji:
"What's today? Do we need to go to school?"

Memory of Asuka:
"It doesn't matter. Last night, I slept the best I have in a long time. And, I kind of don't want this to end. It doesn't matter if there's... school today. They're… not gonna… do anything… if we…"

Memory of Shinji:
"Come on, Asuka! We should wake up. You'll get warm once we start moving around some."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Hey, Shinji, you think I could sleep with you again tonight?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I guess if you want."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei! No! Not again!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka!? ASUKA!? Please be okay! Please!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Th-there's... A VOICE!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Wh- what do you mean? What voice!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"It's- It's there! INSIDE!"

Recollection of a Prophetic Voice:
"The First fell. Then the Second. And now you, Third Child. The one who will stand alone against the most dire of peril, even as his friends try to stand by his side. Only you. Only you, Third Child. You will be the one given the final decision to make; the one given the task to end all tasks, the responsibility to end all responsibilities. You may accept this fate or defy it, but you cannot deny it. Soon, Third Child. Very soon, I will open the flood gates. Soon, Shinji Ikari... I will show you true happiness."

.

Memory of figmental Gendo:
"There is always something to gain, even if is it meaningless or ephemeral. It can bring joy. But I should expect no less speaking with you. You have no motivation to make yourself happy. This is not the son I raised."

Memory of figmental Shinji:
"YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME AT ALL! You abandoned me!"

Memory of figmental Gendo:
"And I would have abandoned you sooner had I known you would grow into a man like this!"

Making amends…

Memory of Asuka:
"Hey, lovebirds! Not to rain on your parade, but if you don't get moving, we're probably gonna get rained on anyways. Come on! Pick up the pace! Walk with purpose!"

Memory of Asuka:
"You're so stupid, Shinji. But you're stupid in a good way… Sorry. That was mean. I should have said that you're funny or something. I know that you know that people don't just pull things out of nowhere and that you were just joking. ...it was a good joke."

Memory of Shinji:
"It's okay, Asuka. I know it's just how you talk."

Memory of Asuka:
"I… I… I need you to hold my hand!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"You're always holding her hand!
I… I need someone to hold my hand too!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Just what the hell is wrong with me?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, there's nothing wrong with you."

Memory of Asuka:
"Thanks, Rei… Thanks, Shinji."

Starting a Fire...

Memory of Asuka:
"So, what about you two? You don't do any of… heheh, those kinds of things, do you?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Those kind of things?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, you know! Like uh… heheh."

Memory of Shinji:
"Oh, um!"

Memory of Rei:
"Like what?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Like, fucking! Have you fucked yet?"

Memory of Rei:
"I see… Well, I have not done anything like that with him... yet."

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, that's really… I mean, it's just, with you two being together and all, I just figured you would have… I mean… done it. ...But you really haven't, huh?"

Memory of Rei:
"Not at all."

Memory of Asuka:
"You two don't even make out all that much, huh? ...It's because of me, right? Because I'm a third wheel."

Memory of Rei:
"You?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah... because, I'm always around you. Hell, I even sleep with both of you. Like, how the hell did that happen? All I do is get in the way of your relationship. You can't fuck 'cause I'm always in bed with both of you. You can't kiss. I won't even let you have Shinji to yourself when you're just holding his hand because I'm always trying to hold his hand too. I guess I'm just a clingy bitch. I try to get all up in Kaji's stuff and now I'm all up in yours too."

Memory of Shinji:
"No, Asuka. It's okay. And you're not a bitch."

Memory of Rei:
"We want you to be with us."

Memory of Asuka:
"Well, listen. I'm gonna be with Kaji after school today since he wanted to talk to me about… whatever it was. So… I mean… if Misato's not home tonight… Like, if she's out late at work doing paperwork because of the Jet Alone stuff… I mean… why don't you two… like… y'know… hit it off?"

Memory of Rei:
"Hmm?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Hit it off?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah, like… do it. You know? Like, since no one will be around to interrupt you."

Memory of Shinji:
"I think you thinking about Kaji is making you act weird, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"No! That's not it! I mean… Maybe thinking about Kaji and him leaving so much to the imagination when he talks to me made me a little horny. But, that's seriously not it. I mean, I really… really do want you to enjoy yourselves. I mean, I know I always used to make jokes about you being a pervert, Shinji. But, I know you're not like that. And, I know you'll be… so very careful with Rei. And… both of you deserve it."

Memory of Rei:
"I… I… love you, Shinji. And… I would… like to do special things with you."

Memory of Asuka:
"Ooooooooooooh, did you hear that, Shinji!? She wants iiiiiiit! Oh my gosh! I'm kinda surprised my heart is beating so hard."

Memory of Shinji:
"Hey! Tha- That's just because you were going around putting ideas in her head about special this and special that."

Memory of Asuka:
"And what? You think it's not special?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I didn't say that!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Then why don't you just give a girl what she wants already!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Good! Now that I have your attention, look at her! Just look at her, Shinji! Look at how gorgeous she is! Look at how adorable she is! Look at these soft kissable lips! And these adorable squishy cheeks; they're like putty they're so squeezable. Don't you just want to give them a little pinch!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Okay! Okay, Asuka! You made you're point!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Have I?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yes! Yes, you have!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Then… come… touch… her. ...That's right, come on, Shinji. You know you want to. I know you want to. You're just embarrassed. But there's nothing quite like doing something for the first time to break that wall of anxiety. All you have to do… is touch her."

Revelations of hate, power, and love...

Memory of Shinji:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, REI!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY MOM?! IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE!? THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

Memory of Rei:
"Shinji… please, don't leave me."

Memory of Shinji:
"I SAID GO!"

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Hey, Shinji!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Hey, what's the big idea!?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Um, well..."

Memory of Shinji:
"What is it, Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Uh… um… I was… uh… wondering if you wanted to share this with me? I- I- I mean, I get if you… don't wanna. But, I was just hoping… uh…"

Memory of Shinji:
"Um, I dunno Asuka. That's illegal."

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji… I…"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… uh… we-"

Memory of Asuka:
"Shhh! Shhhhh! Just… just let me have this… Please! I need this."

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh my god, is this real?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I… I think so."

Memory of Asuka:
"You don't have to look away you know?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… what're you-"

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh fuck, I want you."

Memory of Asuka:
"You already fucked Ayanami. Now its my turn to fuck you."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka..."

Memory of Asuka:
"This isn't a museum, you know? You can, in fact, touch the art! ...Finally, finally, you give the girl what she wants."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, we… we can't… not here."

Memory of Asuka:
"Shhh, Ayanami's in bed, right? I don't wanna go in your room and wake her up. And Misato? Misato's passed out like a fucking rock. She's not gonna wake up. She's not gonna hear us. No one will hear us. So just… let… me… do this. Let me have this. Let me have you just for a little bit. I'm tired of being alone. I'm sick of it."

Memory of Asuka:
"If you want me to put it in, all you have to do is say please."

Memory of Shinji:
"Please! Please, Asuka!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Well, since you asked so nicely..."

Memory of Asuka:
"Wow… Shinji… I don't know why it… Why it took me so long to… see you."

Memory of Shinji:
"See… See me?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Yeah… This whole time… you were right here in front of me and I didn't even see it. And now… now you have Rei."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"I'm… I'm such a slut! I'm… so sorry. I shouldn't have done this. Not when you have Rei! Not when you've already fucked her! I'm sorry! All I'm doing is getting between you again."

Memory of Shinji:
"No, no! Asuka, it's okay!"

Memory of Asuka:
"No, its not! I'm sick! I'm disgusting! I'm a slut! All I do is ruin everyone's happiness!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka, that's not true at all!"

Memory of Asuka:
"I'm sorry, Shinji. I just wanted someone of my own. No one loves me! No one cares for me like you do! I'm sorry for trying to take you from Rei, especially on the same day you had sex with her."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… Rei and I didn't do anything."

Memory of Asuka:
"You're a fool, Shinji Ikari! How could you treat her like that? After all she's done for you! For us! For the entire world! The very least she deserved was for you to listen to her. But instead you told her to get lost!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Where is she, Shinji?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I don't know. Maybe her old apartment."

.

Memory of Asuka:
"Fuck, Shinji! Which of these apartments was hers?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Errr… it was number 402."

From one girl's heart to another...

Memory of Asuka:
"I'll go first. I have the light. But it should really be you going in after her."

Memory of Asuka:
"Ayanami? Hey, Rei! Come out! It's just me!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh my god, what are you doing!? Put that down, right now! Right fucking now!"

Memory of Rei:
"Shin… ji?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, you precious stupid girl!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Why would you do this, you stupid girl?"

Memory of Rei:
"I was… afraid… Shinji wouldn't... love me anymore."

Memory of Asuka:
"You, you stupid girl! I should slap you! Why would you try to do that awful thing!? How could you!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"It's okay, Asuka! It's okay! Rei's okay!"

Memory of Asuka:
"This is just some stupid misunderstanding! This is such a stupid reason for you to give up on each other! So please. Don't do it. Don't do this to yourselves and don't do this to me. Please… We need each other."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei…"

Memory of Rei:
"It's okay, Shinji."

Memory of Asuka:
"You two are so hopeless. But I'm happy it looks like you can work this out."

Memory of Rei:
"And… it's okay if I come back with you?"

Memory of Asuka:
"You stupid girl! You're family! Of course you're coming back with us! Why do you think we came all the way out here to find you!?"

Memory of Rei:
"Thank… you… for letting me… belong."

Harmony found...

Memory of Rei:
"Hmm? Is this..."

Memory of Shinji:
"It's my mom's… I know I could get a smartphone and use it to play music instead… but this is the only thing I really have left of her."

Memory of Rei:
"Oh, I see."

Memory of Shinji:
"Maybe you should have it!"

Memory of Rei:
"M- Me? But… Why me?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Well… I mean… it is yours in a way. I guess it always has been. Maybe… it could help you find a part of yourself."

Memory of Rei:
"A part of myself… I see… thank you."

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, good, you're back. Is your little music player thing safely stashed away?"

Memory of Asuka:
"You do wanna do this, right?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh… y-yeah."

Memory of Asuka:
"Then what're you so afraid for?"

Memory of Asuka:
"There! Now we're equal."

Memory of Asuka:
"Well… I did kiss you earlier. But, that was a little different because that was on your head and not your lips."

Memory of Asuka:
"Well, what do yah think!? Aren't we just the model duo of feminine charm!?"

Memory of of Shinji:
"I…"

Memory of Rei:
"Shinji?"

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji? Is everything..."

Memory of Shinji:
"I love you!"

Memory of Asuka:
"You… don't mean… You don't mean me, do you?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I mean both of you."

Memory of Asuka:
"You don't… have to say that, you know?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I know… But, I want to. What else am I supposed to say? You're our family."

Memory of Asuka:
"I know… I know I've let you down. I've been a fool to myself. I thought that I could live for no one else but myself. But, now… Now I'm going to make it right."

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka..."

Memory of Asuka:
"So… just do one thing for me, okay?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Anything, Asuka. I'll do anything."

Memory of Asuka:
"Don't let me go… Don't let us go. No matter what happens. We're all we have."

Memory of Shinji:
"I won't, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"Thank you."

Memory of Asuka:
"Do it. Fuck her."

Memory of Asuka:
"I know! You want inside me, don't you?! You know how Ayanami felt and now you wanna know how I feel. How hot I am. How wet I am. How tight I am. Whether I can fit you or not. You're just dying to find out."

Memory of Asuka:
"So… you're partly an angel?"

Memory of Asuka:
"So... this is what you two almost broke up over!? This is what you almost killed yourself over!? Geez, you're both so hopeless… Listen, no more secrets, okay!? That goes for both of you."

Memory of Rei:
"Well… I was wondering… would you… like to have dinner with your father? I… wanted to be the one to cook, if that is okay. I… wanted you to bond with with him."

Memory of Asuka:
"Do you… know anything about a triple seven protocol?"

Memory of Asuka:
"So… um… about tonight… was this… just a one time thing?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… I… I don't know… Did you want it to be just a one time thing?"

Memory of Asuka:
"No, of course not! But… what I want doesn't matter. I need to know what you want."

Memory of Rei:
"What you want does matter, Asuka."

Memory of Shinji:
"Yeah, of course, Asuka! You're our family. It's just like you said. We're all we've got. So... just say what you want."

Memory of Asuka:
"I… I want... I want to be with you! I want to be with you forever! I don't ever want to leave your side! I don't want to go back to being the way I used to be! I want to stand together with you, both of you! You're all I have and all I need! You're everything to me and I can't go on without you. I can't fight the angels without you! I can't do anything without you! I want to spend every day of my life with you. I want to do things with you! I want to see the world with you! But most of all, I want both of you to never leave me!"

Facing the lost...

Memory of Gendo:
"Good morning, Shinji."

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh, yes, good morning, father."

Memory of Gendo:
"How is your relationship with Rei?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Uh, fine, father."

Memory of Gendo:
"And with Mistress Sohryu?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Um, also well, father."

Memory of Gendo:
"Is that so?"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yes, father."

Memory of Gendo:
"Listen, Shinji. I know I have not been the best father to you. But, today, I am here as your father; not as Commander Ikari. So, be honest with me. How is your relationship with Pilot Ayanami and Pilot Sohryu? I saw them being rather friendly with you a few moments ago."

Memory of Shinji:
"They… are very kind to me, Father. No, they're excellent to me! They're more than I deserve!"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"So… this is where she's buried?"

Memory of Gendo:
"She's just ahead."

Memory of Shinji:
"What... was she like, father?"

Memory of Gendo:
"She was… the world to me."

Memory of Shinji:
"Why did you send me away, father?"

Memory of Gendo:
"Because I could not let anything get in the way of my goals."

Memory of Shinji:
"So… all I do is get in your way?"

Memory of Gendo:
"No, Shinji. I could not let myself get in the way of my goals. That is why I sent you away."

Memory of Shinji:
"Father… do you… have anything left from when mom was still alive? Rei said you gave her a music box."

Memory of Gendo:
"No… I have nothing left. I keep everything I need in my heart. Like I said, I couldn't allow anything to get in my way. "

The heart swells...

Memory of Asuka:
"I never want to leave you. I want to stay like this forever. I love being close to you."

Memory of Asuka:
"Oh, god! I- I want your fucking- your fucking babies!"

Memory of Asuka:
"I wish we could stay like this forever…"

The twilight stained black...

Memory of Misato:
"Asuka, Shinji, Rei's sync ratio just dropped and a lot of thought noise started showing up in her entry plug. What's going on? The satellites aren't showing anything."

Memory of Shinji:
"Rei!? Rei!? No!"

Memory of Asuka:
"No! No, no, no! Not here! Not like this! Please, god, no!"

Memory of Asuka:
"SHINJI, LISTEN TO ME!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Yes, Asuka?"

Memory of Asuka:
"I love you."

Memory of Shinji:
"I- I love you too, Asuka."

Memory of Asuka:
"Sh- Shinji… Something's happening!"

Memory of Shinji:
"FATHER!? STOP IT! I'M SORRY! JUST STOP THIS!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Asuka… I… I can't live without you! PLEASE DON'T GO! ASUKA!"

Memory of Asuka:
"Shinji, y- you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I- I love you!"

Memory of Shinji:
"FATHER! STOP IT!"

Memory of Shinji:
"STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!"

Memory of Shinji:
"Can you watch over Asuka for me? There's… something I have to do…"

.

Memory of Shinji:
"WHY!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? ANSWER ME, FATHER!? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME, YOU COWARD!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I WOULD HAVE RATHER DIED THAN BE A PART OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE! Dad tried- That bastard tried to kill Asuka. AND HE USED MY HANDS TO DO IT! TELL ME WHY! WHY!? WHY DID YOU DO IT!? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER!?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU REGRET THIS! D- damn you. Damn you all. Damn… you…"

.

Memory of Gendo:
"Shinji Ikari… Mutiny. Refusing my orders. Treason. Making attempts on the lives of your fellow countrymen and women. These are serious charges. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Memory of Shinji:
"I have nothing... to say to you."

Memory of Gendo:
"Nothing? Nothing at all to the innocent lives you threatened; that you attacked?"

Memory of Shinji:
"You attacked someone innocent… That's all I have to say."

Memory of Shinji:
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HER AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO MOM!?"

And now he was here…

:Somewhere, at an undisclosed location deep below NERV HQ…

Aching. Pain.

Darkness. The sounds of footsteps somewhere in that darkness.

"Only you… Only you."

There was a searing scream. Though, Shinji couldn't tell if he was imagining it or not. He could feel the throbbing of blood in his neck and ears. His cheek felt swollen and he could taste blood in his mouth.

The darkness flared with a purple tinge and he heard a voice from beyond once again.

"Sleep. Sleep now. Sleep and leave the rest to Asuka."

Shinji groaned, some lucidity seeming to return to him upon hearing or perhaps hallucinating the girl's name.

'Asuka… Asuka? Where is Asuka!? Where am I?' Shinji wondered to himself.

He couldn't keep his line of thought coherent for long however. He felt feverish and he didn't even have the strength to open his eyes.

He inhaled. The air was cold. But, despite the fever he felt like he had, he was chilled and desired to be someplace warmer.

"Only you, Shinji Ikari."

Shinji knew. He felt it in his soul that something had gone terribly wrong. But, for the life of him, he couldn't remember what it was or anything that had occurred earlier in the day to make him feel this dread and urgency.

He tried to massage his aching jawbone, but somehow found his hands restrained and burning. His entire palm tingled and felt like it was blistering.

'I'm… Shinji… Shinji Ikari. The pilot of Evangelion Unit-01. No… No, that's not right. I'm not. I'm not the Pilot of Unit-01. I said I wouldn't pilot it anymore after… after father… what? After father did what? Why? Why are my hands burning? What happened?'

"Only you," the distant voice called out again.

Once more, Shinji heard a faint scream. The scream of a girl.

'Asuka… That sounds like Asuka's… Asuka's voice.'

"NO! NO! STOP IT! GET OFF ME! I'LL KILL YOU!" he could hear Asuka shouting, though it seemed muffled somehow.

"Only you," the distant voice once more said before growing silent.

The purple in the darkness faded and returned to black. Shinji then raised his head and opened his eyes in response to hearing Asuka's scream.

"ASUKA!" Shinji shouted!

"ONLY YOU HAD TO GO AND FUCK EVERYTHING UP!" Shinji then heard a man shout.

In the next moment, he felt something collide into his face as a fresh wave of pain riddled his body. The chair he was tied to fell over with him, so great was the force that had struck him.

Shinji grunted as he fell to the floor, his shoulder being crushed between his weight and the hard floor.

In a daze, Shinji tried to look up. He was in a dark grey room made of stone or some concrete. Above him hung a singular white light and a few feet away from him loomed a man in a black suit with black leather gloves.

Shinji heard a muffled but familiar womanly voice shouting from somewhere, but he couldn't make out her words with the pain in his head and neck distracting him.

"Insubordination, treason, terrorism, wanton destruction of government property, hijacking a weapon of mass destruction. The works. These are some pretty serious charges, kid. Usually, you'd be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. But, in these parts, you'll be lucky to see the light of day again," the man said as he tossed a clipboard to the ground.

The thing rattled as it hit the floor and the man then began calmly walking up to Shinji.

Shinji struggled, trying to pull his hands out of whatever was restraining them behind him and the back of the chair he was tied to. But, it had so far proven worthless. Shinji inhaled sharply and grit his teeth as the man swiftly brought his leg back before swinging it forward and kicking Shinji in the gut.

The air was kicked out of his lungs and the boy coughed a few times before spitting some blood out of his mouth.

"I know what you're thinking" the man scoffed, "We spent all this time softening you up. When does the interrogation start?"

Shinji only glared at the man.

"That's the thing though," the man continued, "There is no interrogation. This is just punishment."

"You… You're just a rabid dog," Shinji choked out.

"Yeah? You think so?" The man said as he knelt down next to Shinji.

Once again, Shinji only glared at the man. Glared at him as he wore a sickening smile on his face, like he was hoping Shinji would say that.

"Then, let me show you how a rabid dog bites."

/

-You Will (Not) Catch Me-

/

"The Stars wheel across the heavens, and the skies brighten once more. The survivors gather and ignite a fiery dawn to burn away the glowering shroud. Ah, but destiny, thou art beautiful..."- Urianger Augurelt

:Several Weeks Ago

:Somewhere in The Arctic Ocean

:Bethany Base

"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars-"

A Russian man sat boredly reading, or at least trying to read, a magazine in a control room on a ship just outside the perimeter of Bethany base. The man glanced up and sighed as he listened to the singing girl's voice coming through the radio of his com unit.

"- let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars."

The man finally reached for his radio before shouting into it, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAKINAMI! SHUT UP!"

"Wow, rude," the girl radioed back.

"It is cold! I am freezing my balls off in this fucking place. It is a miserable day and you are only making it more miserable!"

"Psh, what a baby," the girl apparently named Makinami said over the radio, "Your ancestors would be disappointed in you! A Russian complaining about the cold. You should see how cold it was here before second impact."

"Shut the fuck up, Cyka Blyat! You are supposed to be testing Unit-05! Not singing!"

"I can multitask, you know! Your attitude is why you don't have a girlfriend," the girl said snidely.

"Cyka Blyat, I do have a girlfriend! She is back in Vyatskoye! You don't know her!"

"Don't listen to him, Mari. I think your singing is grand," a German woman interjected.

"Why thank you, Klarissa," Mari said back graciously.

The Russian man huffed and pulled out a massive bottle of Gin from one of the drawers of his desk.

"You're drinking on the job again?" the German woman, Klarissa, asked the Russian man.

"She won't shut up! She is giving me a headache when I just want to read about my cars in peace and quiet. That is why I signed up for this backwater!"

"You're hopeless," Klarissa sighed.

Klarissa then returned her attention back to her com and began talking with Mari again.

"Heheh, I hope my Japanese is okay," Klarissa nervously laughed into the mic.

"Oh, no, don't worry! It's fine. I can understand you perfectly," Mari said.

"You should sing another song! I like hearing you sing," Klarissa giggled.

The Russian man choked and accidentally spat the gin he was about to swallow back into the bottle.

Without even a moment's hesitation, Mari once more began singing.

"Smoldering softly 'n biding time. Marching forward and left behind-"

"No! NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up! You are bad at singing! Very bad!" the Russian man desperately shouted into his radio while trying not to descend into a fit of coughing from choking on his gin.

Klarissa glared at the Russian man disapprovingly.

"Well, that's just all the more reason to practice," Mari said before immediately resuming her musical endeavors, "UNDER HEEL! PART THE CLOUDS! LIGHT AND DARK! TAKE MY HAND. WALK THE PATH! UNDERSTAND! TRUST IN ME!"

"NO! STOP IT! SHUT UP! You are banned from singing! We have to keep coms clear in case of emergency!" the Russian man pleaded.

"All work and no play makes Volodya a boring allied communications officer," Klarissa laughed.

"Yeah, no shit. No wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend!" Mari added.

"I TOLD YOU I DO!" Volodya shouted before taking a breath and composing himself, "I have known you for two days! TWO DAYS, MAKINAMI! And you already make life so awful. You give me headaches every hour! I couldn't even sleep last night because of you singing on the intercom across the entire ship! You already sing loud enough to wake the dead and still you feel you must amplify your voice!? You are beyond reason!"

"Oh, whoops! That was across the entire ship? My bad. I thought the intercom was turned off," Mari said before once again beginning to sing, "BEAUTIFUL WORLD!"

"That was by ACCIDENT!? SHUT UP, MAKINAMI! Can't you speak without singing!?" Volodya spat.

"Well, that's not fair," Mari said deflatedly, "Dee gets to sing all the time when she's piloting."

"Dee? Who is Dee?" Volodya scoffed, "I don't know any pilot named Dee!"

"Oh, you didn't hear?" Mari said mischievously, "Unit-08 got a new pilot. That's why I'm here piloting Unit-05. Call it a trial run. Testing the waters of my future prospects."

"I did not hear about this! I do not know any pilot named Dee! All I know are Ayanami, Sohryu, Ikari, Rubikard, Rineheart, and you, you vile witch! Dee who!? Who is Dee!?" Volodya asked in frustration.

"DEEZ NUTS," Mari burst out laughing like a completely immature child, "HAH, GOTTEM! HAHAH, GOTTEM!"

Volodya sighed before saying, "Shut the fuck up, Makinami. Just shut the fuck up."

"H-Hey, it was just a joke, hahah," Mari said, trying to catch her breath.

"It is not a funny joke. Please be quiet, you malevolent trickster," Volodya huffed.

"Malevolent, pft, hah!" Mari snorted.

"If anyone here's acting malevolent, it's you, Volodya," Klarissa said.

"Why are you pointing the finger at me!? You are the ones being annoying!" Volodya said, obviously appalled the girls would team up to shoot him down.

"You're being a buzzkill!" Klarissa shot back.

"Agh, my head is going to need more painkillers later," Volodya said before trying to return his attention to the magazine he'd previously been trying to read.

"So, how does she feel, Mari?" Klarissa asked the girl.

"She feels pretty good. Her controls are a little sluggish though. Maybe just because she's not really a proper combat unit like Unit-08. Even so though, her response time could use a bit of a touch up."

"Oh, I'm sorry. She is just a provisional unit like you pointed out. She hasn't really been calibrated or optimized for field work," Klarissa said.

"Oh, no. It's okay. It's really not a problem. Though, if you like, I could probably improve her response time a bit if you let me tinker with her. Unit-08's response time is under two nanoseconds while Unit-05 here feels like her response time may be in the tens of milliseconds range."

"Wow, you can tell that just from sitting inside of her?" Klarissa asked in awe.

"I can tell a lot about an Evangelion just by being near one," Mari said confidently, "You ever listen to a piece of music you downloaded illegally and the song gets cut off or something at the end, but it's only by like a few fractions of a second but you can still tell there's something wrong with it? It's like that. I can just feel when she's being a little bit slow, even if it's almost imperceptible to normal people."

"Normal people? You say that like you aren't one of us," Klarissa said inquisitively.

"Eh, well, that's probably because I'm not like you. Or anyone else really. I'm not trying to sound elitist though. I'm not saying I'm better than you. I'm just saying… we all have something we're good at, right? And, I'm good with Evangelions. So, I'm just not like you, since you're probably good with something else. It just so happens most people don't know all that much about Evangelions because most people don't spend their entire life around them like I do, so I guess I'd say I'm definitely not normal."

"I think I understand," Klarissa said, "You sound like you know a lot about them."

'If only you knew,' Mari thought to herself as a smirk graced her face.

"Hey, which of these shafts should I take to get up to Acheron?" Mari asked.

"Oh, the right one!" Klarissa directed.

"Got it," Mari confirmed as Unit-05 shifted its body on the set of train track like rails beneath it that supplied it with power.

Unit-05 then slid down the rails leading to the right before eventually, after a few more seconds, arriving at what appeared to be a massive elevator large enough for Unit-05 to fit in.

"Alright, Klarissa, get me up there! I can't wait to test her out!" Mari said into her com unit.

With a sudden lurch, the elevator started hauling Provisional Unit-05 up the shaft.

"So, Mari." Klarissa asked.

"Hmm?"

"How did you get into this business. Same as all the other pilots? You were chosen by the Marduk Institute?"

"Hmm, yeah. Something like that," Mari said evasively.

"You're what? Fourteen? Sixteen? And you've already been to college?" Klarissa continued, "Didn't the Pilot of Unit-02 also graduate from college? And she's also only like thirteen or something? Is that something you'd intended to do? Going to college that early I mean?"

"Nah, not really. I'm not like Pilot Sohryu. She was sent to college after she was chosen by the Marduk Institute. I went to college before I was chosen. I had a choice. She didn't."

"Woah!" Klarissa exclaimed, "And you must've been there for like what? Four years? So you went to college when you were like nine or ten or something!?"

"Eh, hahah, yeah. Pretty unbelievable, I know," Mari laughed nervously.

"I guess you really aren't like normal people. You Evangelion pilots are something else," Klarissa said over the radio as the elevator shaft containing Unit-05 opened into a storm raging over Bethany base.

"Alright, here we go!" Mari said cheerfully.

Unit-05 rolled off the rails inside the elevator and the battery warning popped up on the display of Unit-05's entry plug. This somewhat surprised Mari as she had expected Unit-05 to be powered by the mysterious new S2 engine that had a flurry of rumors surrounding it, even if said rumors were only whispered in dark halls and confidential meeting rooms.

'Well, that might be good news. Maybe Seele aren't as ahead of the curve as I thought they were,' Mari thought to herself as the battery timer reflected off the visor of her helmet.

"Still only five minutes on the battery? We really need to get R and D to work out a better solution," Mari said, probing Klarissa for any information she might have.

"Oh, actually, I thought they were actually working on something to fix that. Though, they haven't really said much about that yet," Klarissa said.

'Hmm, so she's outta the loop too then. Not surprising,' Mari surmised in mild disappointment.

"Well, I'm gonna start with a weapon's test," Mari said.

"A- A weapon's test? But, we don't have any firing ranges up there," Klarissa said in surprise.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll be careful not to hit any of the infrastructure. I'll just shoot into the ocean or something," Mari said dismissively.

"Uh, well, if you say so," Klarissa said unsurely.

Mari lovingly maneuvered Unit-05 to the edge of Acheron, the floor of which formed the top of Bethany Base, overlooking the arctic ocean. Maybe a few kilometers from where she was, she saw a ship floating on the red waves. That ship was the Ural-II, where Klarissa and Volodya were currently remotely monitoring her piloting session.

"Hey! I can see you!" Mari shouted, waving her hand about inside the LCL which also caused Unit-05 to wave it's hand at the ship.

"I can see you too, Mari!" Klarissa said back while Volodya sighed yet again.

"Okay, commencing weapons test," Mari said.

Unit-05 reached its hand over its shoulder to one of its pylons and grabbed what appeared to be a Type MM-109 Pallet rifle, a slight upgrade over the Type MM-99 Pallet Rifle that was standard issue for the other Evangelions. Mari then took aim at what she felt was an arbitrarily safe distance from the vessel and fired a few 209 millimeter rounds into the ocean.

The bullets dove into the water and several giant walls of water shot up from where the bullets had disappeared into the ocean.

"Ooh, that's a little bigger than I thought it was gonna be…" Mari said in a slight panic as she observed the waves race towards the Ural-II.

After a few more seconds, the ship was lifted several dozen feet, though, luckily, it didn't capsize due to the angle it was at compared to the waves.

A few moments later, and Mari's com unit crackled to life with an angry Volodya on the other end of the line.

"HEY, WHAT'S YOUR GAME HERE, DUMBASS!? DON'T SHOOT AT OUR SHIP, CYKA BLYAT! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO DRINK AND RELAX IN HERE!"

"Geez, I'm sorry! I didn't think it was gonna be that big," Mari said bashfully.

"YOUR STUPID ANTICS ARE GOING TO MAKE THE CAPTAIN COME IN HERE AND CHEW MY ASS OFF!" the angry Russian continued yelling.

"Okay, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Mari whined.

"Damn it. You got my gin all over my coat. Now I will be even more cold!" Volodya said in exasperation, bemoaning his fate.

"Um, Mari, maybe you should conduct the weapons test just… a little further away from the Ural-II," Klarissa radioed back timidly.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be more careful next time," Mari laughed nervously.

"That would be appreciated," Klarissa said, sounding like she was about to be seasick.

"Hmm, next I'll try… how about an A.T. Field measurement?" Mari said as she checked a few diagnostic tools in her entry plug.

"That would probably be a bit more safe," Klarissa said, agreeing with Mari's course of action.

"Alright then, raising my- Huh?" Mari gasped as she saw her battery timer suddenly stop counting down before saying Unit-05 was fully charged.

"Uh, Klarissa," Mari said, "my battery countdown just disappeared. It's saying Unit-05 is charged. But, that can't be, right? I'm not connected to a power station. What does your console say?"

"Ummm," Klarissa mumbled, looking over her instruments, "Yeah, that's strange. It says Unit-05 isn't using it's battery."

Mari grimaced as she looked at a few gauges inside her plug, trying to check to see if anything abnormal could be extrapolated to explain the phenomenon.

'So… Unit-05 does have an S2 engine then. But, how did I activate it? By accident? Or could this be espionage?' Mari contemplated.

"Agh! Mari! I'm getting some kind of energy spike from Unit-05!" Klarissa shouted over the radio.

"What!?" Mari gasped as her eyes widened.

"Eject! Mari! Eject! Unit-05 is becoming unstable! I've never seen readings like this before! You have to get out now!" Klarissa once more shouted over the radio.

Mari, in a panic, quickly initiated an ejection protocol and she suddenly found herself disoriented as her entry plug rocketed out of Unit-05's spinal column at a blistering speed. Without her advanced life support systems keeping her conscious, she probably would have blacked out from the sheer force of the ejection.

However, despite this rather rough course of action, it was better than staying inside of Unit-05, because after a few moments, it then detonated, further sending Mari's world into a spiral of chaos before her entry plug eventually tumbled into the sea some miles away.

/

A few minutes later…

A puff of steam erupted from Unit-05's entry plug as it gently drifted on the red waves. And, after a tense moment, several jets of LCL started spraying out of the plug before eventually dying down into a trickle.

The rain from the storm had finally begun to let up and a hatch on the plug was flung open as a girl wearing a grey and green plugsuit and matching helmet burst from the opening before heaving herself over the edge of the rim of the hatch and coughing out LCL into the ocean.

After a few seconds, in a daze, the girl took off her dark green helmet and looked up at the sky, letting her LCL-soaked brown hair loose over her shoulders.

Looking up, she could see a large hole in the storm clouds above Acheron and Bethany Base where the blue sky shone through the veil. No doubt, this was caused by the violent detonation of Unit-05 that had happened only a few minutes ago.

"Part the clouds indeed," the girl coughed as she shakily stood up.

The girl then put on a pair of burgundy glasses she'd been holding onto. And, as she looked back up at the sky, the sunlight twinkled in the lenses.

"Well, that went more or less how I intended," the girl sighed satisfactorily as she admired her handiwork.

"It seems Seele still hasn't been able to stabilize the S2 engine. Though, the core sample they got from Shamshel didn't help matters. They've definitely made some improvements. While still not operational in a combat capacity, Unit-05 is definitely not as touchy as Mark.04 is said to be," the girl mumbled, talking to herself as she straightened her glasses.

"Even so, it seems development is still behind schedule. This is good. If things go my way, I can end this before it even begins. Though the fact Adam and the key of Nebuchadnezzar weren't here is a little worrying too. Last I heard, Adam and the key were in Cocytus. But I couldn't find so much as a hint of them while snooping around here."

The girl then leaned back down into her entry plug and picked up a hefty chocolate brown backpack drenched in LCL, slinging it in front of her as opposed to behind her. She then unzipped it and started rummaging about inside it before pulling out some kind of small handheld device that appeared to be a GPS system.

"Heheh, even if it's for the good of the world, it feels kinda shitty using these adults to get what I want. Hmph, Human Instrumentality, huh? We'll see about that," the girl scoffed as she input a destination on the GPS unit.

She then stuffed the GPS back into her backpack and then slung the bag behind her before hopping a little to situate the unwieldy backpack on her shoulders.

"Sorry about doing this, Gendo. But the game is afoot and I intend to win. Which means I better hit the road. Time waits for no woman and I'm not getting any younger… Though, to be fair, I guess I'm not getting any older either."

The girl glanced over her shoulder one last time, looking at the dust and wreckage that had been left above the massive mile-high spherical structure that was Bethany base. Smoke floated high up into the hole in the clouds, starting to block the rays of light that reached through.

"Bon Voyage, Unit-05. You served us all well."

-INTERLUDE MAKINAMI-
You Will (Not) Catch Me

:Present Day

:Several Hours Ago

:An Undisclosed Location in Israel

:Just Outside Golgotha Base

Among the craggy rocks found in the deserts of Israel, a figure cloaked in black could be found skulking about the top of a hill as the midday sun baked the soil and dirt beneath the feet of the mysterious person.

Finding a spot the seemed suitable for her purposes, she tiredly dropped her backpack on the ground before laying prone on the ground herself.

"Damn, it's so freakin' hot. I feel like I'm back at NERV-02," the shrouded person whispered in a whiny girlish voice as she pulled out a pair of binoculars from her brown backpack before beginning to scope out the facility at the foot of the hill.

Before she could get too absorbed into her observation however, she heard a muffled pinging notification sound coming from her backpack.

"The hell? Shit!" the girl cursed under her breath as she dropped her binoculars and began sorting through her backpack trying to find out which of her fancy hi-tech toys was making the sound.

"Oh, won't you please shut up?! I'm trying to be stealthy! This better be important," the girl once again whined as she pulled out something vaguely reminiscent of a cross between a smartphone and a small but robust laptop.

The girl flipped the device open before reading the notification that had popped up on it.

"Huh!? What!?" the girl exclaimed as she continued reading.

"N- No way! Both Unit-03 and Mark.04 have been destroyed? Shit! This is so not good! I almost expected Mark.04 to go up in flames but Unit-03 also? What the hell happened? It says Unit-03's unconfirmed but presumed destroyed. What the hell? Is it destroyed or not? It's a giant war machine. Surely someone can get eyes on!"

The girl glanced to her side in thought while simultaneously adjusting her glasses.

"And Unit-02 also sounds like it got fucked pretty good. Shit! I'm sure it'll recover, but still. That's two less Evangelions. And I was really counting on at least Unit-03 being able to back me up assuming I could talk the pilot around, which shouldn't be hard at all considering what's at stake."

The girl let out a frustrated sigh before shutting the device and gently tossing it to the side.

"Well, whatever. There's nothing I can do about it right now," the girl said as she picked back up her binoculars and looked through them, "I'll just have to reformulate. And that means information gathering. So, what morsels of information is this top secret evil base hiding?"

/

-You Will (Not) Live To See The Dawn-

/

Like Broken Angels, Wingless,
Cast From Heaven's Gates
Our Slumb'ring Demons Awake
We Only Fly When Falling,
Falling Far From Grace
Hell Take Us, Heaven Can Wait
Our Lives A Message
In A Bottle Cast To Sea
Disgrace Untold And Unseen
Quick To Their Ends,
Our Candles Burn Until We're Free

"I know you would never turn your back on those in need; never close your eyes to their suffering."- Estinien Varlineau

:Present Day

:Somewhere, at an undisclosed location deep below NERV HQ…

She had no idea how long she'd been sitting there. Despite time circling endlessly, any measurement short of eternity had lost all meaning to Asuka Shikinami. She didn't know what a minute was, she didn't truly know how long an hour was, and every second seemed to blend right into the next. It was a constant unrelenting barrage of loneliness that assaulted her very soul every moment she stared at the blank walls of her small and vacant world.

"I just want to die."

She had no idea how she could bare to sit there.

"I don't want to do this. I can't do this."

She couldn't. She couldn't bare to sit there.

"Even death would be less lonely than this."

But she had no choice.

"Please, I just want to die. Is that really so much to ask?"

Every hour, every minute, every moment between the seconds, like a prayer, she repeated her words, begging whatever cruel god that was responsible for watching over her to end her life.

"Please, kill me. Please, just let it end. I've been alive long enough!"

And if she wasn't reciting her constant prayer aloud, you could be sure it was always on her mind.

There was a sudden muffled and boyish scream that seemed to come from somewhere above her room. She didn't know who it belonged to, but it was doubtless another unfortunate soul who'd been condemned to spend life as nothing more than yet another one of NERV's dark secrets Shikinami surmised.

Or perhaps not. Perhaps the person above her could yet be something greater. Something well beyond Asuka Shikinami's dark but inexperienced imagination.

She had no way of knowing. Like everything else, her life didn't extend beyond the door of the room she lived in. Even so, it wasn't often she'd heard someone other than her self screaming. Indeed, it was barely audible. But, down here, there was no other sound to hear. And, even through the stone walls of her room, she could hear the pained wailing of another suffering soul.

Hearing that scream only dredged up memories of her own suffering however, and she soon found herself crying as she stared at the prison walls that defined her existence; not just where she could go, but also who she was. Her entire life laid bare before her, and it was all nothing more than a small but potent loop of pain everlasting.

The blood that had once been trickling out of her nose had now dried. The pain in her cheek next to her eye where she'd been hit had begun to fade. And, where once she was filled with fear, she now sought rest. Who knew that crying alone could be so exhausting?

With dreary eyes brimming with tears, she gazed at Evangeline. And still, the doll smiled. Forever, the doll smiled, peaceful and calm. It was almost enough to lull her into sleep without even taking the time to lay down. But, Asuka suddenly heard the door to her room unlock and the urge to sleep retreated from her body.

That sound; that awful heart wrenching sound was almost always followed by cruelty.

Adrenaline shot through her and in an instant she was on her feet and fleeing to the corner of the room furthest from the door.

'Please. Please, not again!' she lamented to herself as she threw herself into the corner, cradling Evangeline protectively in her arms.

She squeaked in fear and tightly shut her eyes as she heard the door to her room open.

"Asuka?" a familiar voice called.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T HURT ME!" Asuka shrieked before whimpering incoherently.

"I- I'm not going to hurt you, Asuka," the voice of Ritsuko said as the door shut behind her, "I told you earlier I'd be back to bring you some more clothes."

Ritsuko watched the girl slowly peak her head over her shoulder. Her cheeks were completely flooded with tears and her bottom lip trembled. Seeing the girl so terrified left Ritsuko feeling extremely guilty.

Ritsuko glanced over to Asuka's bed, seeing that the pink tank top she'd left for her had been completely smeared with blood.

"What did you do to your shirt!?" Ritsuko asked in exasperation, "Asuka, I specifically asked you if you wanted me to get you something to stop the bleeding."

"I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" the girl shrieked in fear yet again.

Ritsuko was taken aback for a moment before realizing she should choose her tone of voice more carefully. The woman then looked over to where Asuka had been sitting, seeing the skirt she'd brought her laying on the ground, also stained with several pools of blood.

"Asuka… aren't you cold?" Ritsuko asked, this time trying to sound more concerned than frustrated.

The girl didn't say anything and instead just sobbed and whimpered.

Ritsuko sighed sadly before throwing the clothes she'd brought with her onto Asuka's bed.

Carefully, she walked up to Asuka, who eyed her fearfully the entire time.

"Come on, Asuka. You can't just stay naked like this. You'll catch a cold."

Ritsuko then knelt down next to the girl and offered her hand out to the girl, though, once again, Ritsuko felt a surge of guilt sweep over her as the girl winced away from her hand and crawled further into the corner.

"Asuka, please. I brought you some warm clothes," Ritsuko said, once more trying to convince Asuka to leave the corner.

After Ritsuko had finished speaking, Asuka once more heard a muffled scream from some place above her room. Ritsuko herself also heard the scream and looked up for a moment before trying to pretend she hadn't heard anything.

"What… are you going to do to me?" Asuka asked though her occasional sniffling.

"I'm not going to do anything to you, Asuka," Ritsuko said, trying not to choke on her words, "I just want you to take care of yourself. And that means getting this blood cleaned up and getting yourself dressed for bed. I know you're tired. You don't look like you've slept at all since I came in here a few hours ago."

Ritsuko gently put her hand on Asuka's shoulder. Though, in a flash, she felt her hand being jerked to the side as Asuka spun around faster than what seemed physically possible and desperately clamped her teeth down on Ritsuko's left wrist, biting her as hard as she could.

"DAMN IT, YOU STUPID BRAT," Ritsuko shouted as she reflexively brought her free hand back and slapped the girl across the face hard enough to make the girl's teeth lose their grip on her.

Though, as soon as Ritsuko realized what she'd done, she immediately regretted her actions.

Asuka fell onto the rough floor in a daze, her cheek burning and her ear ringing. She hadn't even realized what had happened specifically. All she knew was that, once more, pain had been inflicted on her and she began wailing as she limply lay on the floor without even enough strength to raise her own hand to her hold her face in pain.

"Wait! Asuka! I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Ritsuko stammered, even though the damage had already been done.

Now that the front of Asuka's body was facing Ritsuko, she could see just how much blood had trickled out of her nose and understood why the girl had used her shirt to wipe it up. Rivers of dried blood trailed down the girl's chest and stomach all the way down her hips and thighs.

Taking into consideration the amount of blood on her shirt and skirt as well as what was on her body, the girl must've only stopped bleeding just awhile ago and Ritsuko knew she'd been irresponsible slap the girl so hard knowing it could have potentially reopened her wounds.

Ritsuko furrowed her brow, feeling disgusted with herself as she looked down at the floor next to Asuka, seeing that her doll, laying next to her, was miraculously free of any blood stains.

Ritsuko grabbed the doll before standing up and walking away from the slumped over girl.

"NO! NO! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER!?" Asuka shrieked as she tried to stand up.

Ritsuko approached Asuka's bed before lifting the covers and tucking the doll in, which caused Asuka to pause as she realized Ritsuko wasn't going to dispose of her best friend. Weakly standing halfway up, Asuka then once more limply fell to the ground, not even caring as her cheek smashed into the rough concrete floor.

"Asuka!" Ritsuko gasped as she rushed over to the girl.

Once more kneeling down next to her, Ritsuko watched the girl's body tremble as she wept face first into the floor.

"You need to go to bed. Look at you! You don't even have the strength to stand." Ritsuko said in a worried tone.

"I need to die! I JUST WANT TO DIE! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME ALREADY!?" Asuka screamed into the floor.

"Don't say that! I've seen how hard you fight," Ritsuko said in a trembling voice, "I know you want to live. Even if you don't know it yourself yet."

"I don't want to! I don't! I don't want to live! All anyone ever wants to do is rape me or beat me. BUT NO ONE EVER KILLS ME!" the girl screamed in unimaginable agony, "WHY CAN'T THEY JUST KILL ME!?"

Ritsuko grit her teeth and looked away from the girl, trying not to cry.

The woman then stood up and went over to the water fountain, wiping her eyes a few times before reaching down and grabbing the sweep of her lab coat. She then pressed the button on the water fountain and brought her coat up to soak it in water. And, after it had been suitably saturated, she then went back over to Asuka.

Asuka shallowly coughed a few times as Ritsuko approached her and tried to get to her feet to retreat, though, as Ritsuko had pointed out, she was too tired to stand.

"No! Stop! Don't come any closer!" Asuka cried as Ritsuko knelt down next to her.

"Don't!" Ritsuko said firmly as she put her hand on Asuka's shoulder and began to turn her over.

As expected, Asuka latched her fingers around Ritsuko's wrist upon being flipped over and tried to bite her once again. But this time, she found Ritsuko's lab coat wadded up and shoved in her face before she could clamp her teeth around anything else. Even so, she bit down on the fabric as hard as she could.

Ritsuko tried to rub the coat over the girl's face to clean the blood off her lips. But, she found it restrained by the girl's teeth.

"Asuka, I just told you not to try biting me. Let go of my coat." Ritsuko said in a disciplinary manner.

Ritsuko felt Asuka's teeth let go before she immediately started loudly crying and bleating in perhaps the most pitiful manner Ritsuko had ever heard. Completely unrestrained, the girl was letting out a decade's worth of pain and humiliation that had been kept chained up inside of her. Words, and even the girl's crying itself, utterly failed to describe how miserable she was.

Ritsuko moved the coat from the girl's face and began wiping the blood off her throat. Her crying wails, now unmuffled, became all the louder now that they were allowed to fill the small room unimpeded. Though, no matter how much the girl cried, it would never be enough to excise the pain and sorrow that had been permanently stained into her soul.

Ritsuko herself found it even more difficult not to cry, the girl's pain was so audible and her emotions so strong. Her eyes began tearing up some as she gently ran her coat down the girl's body, removing the crusted blood from her skin.

Eventually, Asuka let go of Ritsuko's wrist and instead covered her eyes with her palms as she continued to wail in defeated emotional agony.

With a few more dabs from her coat, the blood that had been dried on Asuka was removed and Ritsuko once more got up and stepped over to Asuka's bed where she'd thrown some fresh clothes down for the girl. She moved a few shirts aside before finding a set of fuzzy pink pajamas that had a strawberry print pattern on them. The top half of the set was a small button up crop top with overly long sleeves and three buttons over its breast while the lower half of the set was a pair of long snug pants.

Along with the pajamas, Ritsuko also grabbed a pair of pink and white striped panties before then walking back over to the girl, who still laid pitifully on the floor crying. Ritsuko sighed before kneeling down yet again and trying to slide the panties up the girl's legs and to her waist, which was difficult as the girl was uncooperative and still sat limply on the floor.

Ritsuko tried her best to one-handedly lift the girl up off the floor so she could finish putting the panties on the her, and, while she succeeded, it was a shoddy result. But, nevertheless, they were on the girl and it would just have to do.

Hoping to give her arms a rest, Ritsuko decided to try to put the girl's top on next.

"Give me your hand Asuka," Ritsuko requested.

The girl did no such thing and kept her palms firmly pressed over her eyelids as she continued to cry.

Sighing, Ritsuko gently grabbed the girl's right wrist before sliding the sleeve of the top down the girl's arm. Getting the next sleeve on the girl would be harder though. Knowing the girl had no intention, or perhaps no strength left, to help her, Ritsuko put her hand under the girl's shoulder before propping her up. She then pulled the top over the girl's back before finally taking her other wrist and guiding it through the sleeve.

Lowering the girl back down so she was laying on the floor, Ritsuko then took the soft fuzzy pants and began sliding them up the girl's legs up until about her thighs. Once more, Asuka offered no help and Ritsuko was forced to awkwardly lift the girl up to get the pants over her butt and around her waist.

Even still, Asuka would not stop crying and she continued to lay on the floor like a rag doll, her shirt hanging open and unbuttoned and her left arm flung over her face as she cried into the fabric of her new pajamas.

Ritsuko sighed and buttoned the girl's shirt, starting with middle button, then the lower one, and finally the top one.

Finally, the girl was clothed and ready for bed. Now, if only she would just get up and get under the covers.

Seemingly though, she had no intention of getting up off the floor. Ritsuko was already tired and she didn't want to lift the girl up yet again. But, she knew if she dragged her over the floor, the rough unpolished concrete floor would probably pull the bottom half of the girl's pajamas off. So, Ritsuko was left with little choice but to pick up the girl.

Ritsuko threw the covers back across the bed before walking back over to Asuka and, with great effort, heaving her up into her arms before trying her best to carry her to the bed and not rudely drop onto the mattress.

After being set down on the bed, Asuka instantly grabbed Evangeline and pulled her into her chest, giving her a tight hug as she slowly began to stop sobbing.

"Better, right?" Ritsuko said, trying to catch her breath, "You'll be warm now."

Asuka didn't say anything and instead nuzzled her face into Evangeline, soaking the doll's red dress with her tears.

"Would you like some food?" Ritsuko asked.

Asuka finally glanced over at Ritsuko and whimpered.

"It's not much. And you shouldn't even be eating it before bed considering its candy. But, it's all I had time to get from the vending machine. I've been busy monitoring Asuka," Ritsuko said as she pulled out a package of candy from the pocket of her lab coat before adding, "the other Asuka that is."

Shikinami didn't say anything, but she intently stared at the little bag of candy and this didn't go unnoticed by Ritsuko. So, she opened the package and then gently set it on the edge of Asuka's bed. The girl fearfully snatched the bag of candy, almost losing her hold on it as the long sleeves of her pajamas prevented her from getting a good grip on the plastic as they extended well past her fingertips. Then, much to Ritsuko's bewilderment, the girl ravenously poured the entire bag's worth of candy down her throat, hardly even bothering to chew any of it. Perhaps she had underestimated how hungry the girl truly was.

"H- Hey! Take your time. You're gonna choke. Besides, there's flavor too. It's not just for sustenance!" Ritsuko tried to say, though, before she could finish speaking, the candy had already been poured into the girl's mouth.

After gulping down the last few pieces of candy, Shikinami glanced back at Ritsuko before taking a shaky breath.

"What's the real Asuka like?" Shikinami suddenly blurted out in a sob.

Ritsuko sighed and scratched the back of her head sheepishly.

"I told you not to call her that. You're both real. You're not any less real than she is," Ritsuko said, trying to correct the girl's self-depreciating language and overall negative outlook.

"I don't care about that. The other day, back in the other room, I was watching a movie about an evil scientist and clones. The scientist made the clone fight against the person she was cloned from. But, they got tired of fighting. And they started talking instead. And they found out they weren't so different and they teamed up and took down the evil scientist. I want to know what she's like; what Asuka is really like!"

"Well…" Ritsuko said, once more sighing, "You're not all that different from her… She's… headstrong. Haughty. Rude. Eccentric. Proud to a fault. Sometimes she's a little arrogant, but she's not afraid to speak her mind. She can be damn near insufferable. She dislikes any authority that isn't her own. But, she is a good leader in her own right. She's intelligent. Capable. Brave. Reliable. Many people would call her a hero."

"There's no such thing as heroes," Shikinami said under her breath before sniffling.

"I'm sure she'd disagree with you. But, other than that, you're not all that different from her," Ritsuko said before glancing at Evangeline, "There's... only a few things that separate the two of you."

"Like our hair? You said our hair is different colors," Asuka questioned with yet another sniffle.

"Yes, your hair colors are different," Ritsuko confirmed, "She also wears her hair a little differently than you."

"Wears her hair different? What does that mean?"

"She has…" Ritsuko said before pausing to think on her words, "They're not hair clips, but lets call them hair clips. She wears them pretty often. They're her favorite color and they also help her do her duty. They're also a symbol of status to her. They're... very important to her. She wears them almost all the time."

"Hair clips…" Shikinami whispered to herself, almost seeming enthralled by the idea.

"Here. Actually, I have something for you," Ritsuko said before reaching into one of the pockets of her lab coat.

And, when Ritsuko pulled her hand back out, she revealed a pair of small black hair clips with a bright red bow on each one.

Shikinami's eyes widened a bit as she stared at the little ornaments.

"You can have them. I brought them down here just for you," Ritsuko said with a smile, "I can put them on for you if you like. Then you'll look just like her. But you have to promise not to freak out on me if I do. I promise I won't hurt you."

Shikinami made a contemplative sound that emanated from the back of her throat before looking back up at Ritsuko. The girl didn't say yes, but Ritsuko had a feeling she wanted to. So, she then gently reached past Asuka's face before taking a lock of hair in her hand and fastening one of the clips to it. This caused Asuka to whimper and flinch away from Ritsuko's touch, but at least she didn't lash out. Ritsuko then did the same on the other side of the girl's head before taking a step back from Asuka and taking a moment to look at her.

Aside from her black eye, Asuka looked absolutely adorable with the little bows now setting atop either side of her head. Paired with her warm fuzzy strawberry pajamas, anyone's heart would have burst from how utterly precious she looked.

"There. Now you look just like her," Ritsuko said.

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Asuka nervously brought her hands up to her cheeks. Though, admittedly this only made her look more cute as the sleeves of her pajama top were almost six or seven inches longer than where her fingertips ended. So her hands weren't even visible due to the amount of free flowing fabric, which, to Ritsuko, somewhat conjured the mental image of a shy kitten hiding behind a curtain in a new house.

Indeed, Ritsuko was immediately reminded of the day she'd first brought her younger cat, Blake, to her home and introduced her to her other cat, Morgana. Blake was quite the shy kitten at first and would often times hide behind the curtains in her bedroom before Ritsuko fell asleep at night. Of course, the first day Ritsuko woke up to find Blake sleeping on her bed with her warmed Ritsuko's heart more than most other things could. But, seeing Asuka like this came pretty close.

"Well, you should get some sleep," Ritsuko said in a soft voice.

"I… I guess," Asuka whispered before burying herself in her bed sheets and hugging Evangeline.

Ritsuko walked over to the door of the room before swiping her ID card through a card reader. The door unlocked and Ritsuko opened it before glancing over her shoulder at Asuka one last time.

"Goodnight, Asuka." Ritsuko said before walking out the door and closing it.

After the door shut, Asuka heard the lock engage and a stray tear slipped out the corner of her eye and onto her pillow.

"I already told you. There is no night down here," Asuka said spitefully into the lonely room.

She had been laying on her side under the covers. But, once more, she heard someone's muffled scream come from above her room. The girl felt a chill run down her spine and she had the urge to resituate herself. She then rolled over in bed and rested on her back, boredly staring at the ceiling as her eyes started to flutter shut.

"That ceiling…" she sleepily mumbled.

'It's the same as the last one,' was her final thought before she lost consciousness.

/

Meanwhile, in a room at the NERV Hospital…

"Agh…" Asuka quietly moaned, "Guh, my… my head."

Her eyelids finally opened as she awoke to see the blinding white ceiling of the hospital. Her ears were ringing and her entire head throbbed in pain. Several other parts of her body also hurt. Her ribs felt like they had been nearly shattered and she felt a piercing pain at two places just above her hips. The girl was still riding the waves of pain from Unit-02's injuries due to the extremely high synchronization ratio she'd achieved. But, all of that seemed like a distant memory and the pain she felt in her head somehow seemed more real than what she felt in the rest of her body.

The girl winced as the pain in her head increased for a split second. And, if that weren't bad enough, she felt some kind of uncomfortable wrapping pulled tightly against the left side of her face.

"Ughhh… damn…. it," she slurred.

As she stared up at the ceiling, she felt like she was in a trance, stuck in a moment of time. She felt both hot and cold. And, in her state of mind, it seemed as though she was both moving and at rest. For a second, she felt as though she were going to throw up and she slowly inhaled to try to dispel the feeling.

After a moment, she then sighed and tried to figure out exactly where she was. But, her mind was so muddled, it was no use. She just couldn't keep any train of thought going long enough to arrive at any meaningful conclusions.

And so she simply lay there, staring at the ceiling. She caught the scent of blood or LCL and, for a moment, vaguely remembered a feeling of desperation. But, that too left her mind just as soon as it had arrived.

"Where… Where am I?"

'That ceiling… I don't recognize it.'

Asuka Sohryu then passed out, not even realizing she'd lost consciousness.

/

Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location deep below NERV HQ…

So many people. So many places. So many possibilities. Possibilities for creation.

And for destruction.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

"Hey."

Snap.

"Hey, kid."

Snap. Snap.

"Grrreeh," Shinji let out in a wavering groan as he finally started to come to again as someone snapped their fingers in his ear.

He must've blacked out from the pain. His cheek was bruised, and, once more, he could taste the tang of blood on his tongue.

"Ah! You're finally back with us," the man said.

Shinji sharply inhaled and quickly raised his head, looking about frantically, seeing he was still in the same dark room he'd been in for hours now. And the same man who'd been beating him yet remained as well.

"You know, you're a pretty heavy sleeper, kid. I think you were out of it for at least ten minutes there and you didn't wake up a single time when I was beating the absolute shit outta you. You shoulda seen the look on your face. Hell, should see the look on your face right now."

Shinji glared at the man but didn't say anything.

"But, I can't have you passing out on us. So, if my fists are boring enough to put you to sleep, I figured I'd need something a little more engaging."

Shinji grimaced in the darkness. Or at least he tried to. It felt like his entire face was stiff and swollen and it hurt to even turn his head.

"So, while you were off in la la land, I had my associate here fetch me a toy. I hope you'll find it just as entertaining as I do."

It was then that Shinji noticed another man step around the side of the chair he'd been tied to and hand a long dark cylindrical object to the man who had been beating him.

After handing the item off, the other man then stepped back behind the chair, leaving Shinji to focus solely on the black gloved man in front of him, who was now holding what appeared to be a piece of a pipe.

Shinji's eyes widened and he felt a chill run down his spine as the man menacingly knocked the pipe on the concrete floor a few times which created a horrifying clinking sound that made Shinji's blood run cold.

Shinji still said nothing and silently tried to fortify his resolve while doing his best to hide his fear.

"It's a shame I can't just bash your head in with this. I'm under strict orders not to kill you. That doesn't mean I can't have a little fun though."

Shinji looked down at the ground, doing his best to avoid eye contact with the man and slow his fearful breathing.

"You know, they say the femur is the strongest bone in the body. I wonder how much it takes to break it. Lets find out together. What do you say?"

The man then raised the pipe above his head, holding it there for a long drawn out second before bringing it down on Shinji's leg, just above his knee cap.

The scream that followed didn't need to be described...

/

-The Mile Long Shadow-

/

'Shinji…'

'Asuka…'

'Shinji.'

'Asuka.'

'Shinji.'

'Asuka.'

'Shinji.'

'Asuka.'

'Shinji.'

'Asuka.'

'Shinji.'

'Asuka.'

'Shinji!'

'Asuka!'

"Rei?"

Rei was finally broken out of her thoughts and remembered where she was; the middle of a parking lot for one of the many massive elevators leading down to the Geofront. And, in front of her was Misato's car, the window rolled down as Misato herself sat in the driver's seat, waiting for her to enter.

"Oh…" Rei said as she finally opened the door to the car and stepped in.

"Rei," Misato sniffled, "put your seat belt on."

"Oh…" Rei depressingly said again as she reached behind her to grab and fasten the seat belt.

With a worried expression, Misato watched as the girl lifelessly pulled the seat belt over her and latched it into the buckle.

"Oh, Rei. What are we going to do with you?" Misato asked caringly as she gently brushed the girl's blood crusted hair with her fingers.

The girl seemingly didn't even notice and kept absently staring through the windshield.

Misato let out a quivering sigh before also looking forward.

"Don't worry, Rei. I'm sure Asuka will be fine. She's just staying the night at the hospital," Misato said, trying to convince herself of her words just as much as she was trying to convince Rei, "And... I'm sure Shinji's fine too… wherever he is."

Misato closed her eyes and sighed once more before breaking down and collapsing on the steering wheel of her car where she began to quietly weep.

Rei slowly turned her head to look at Misato and found herself beginning to cry again as well.

The two girls remained there in the dark parking lot for awhile just crying. And all the while, time walked on, dragging them along the path of fate.

The path to the edge.

The path...

...to the end.

/

Some time later, at the Katsuragi residence…

With all the love of a mother, Misato, despite her current emotional ordeal, had managed to bathe Rei and clean the blood out of the girl's hair and off her face, as Rei herself seemed to have grown uncaring of her physical state. Her mind being consumed with thoughts of Shinji and Asuka, Rei could find neither the willpower nor the focus to do anything more than stand.

What had happened to Asuka was already bad enough. But to then hear that Shinji had been detained had been too much for her and she had withdrawn into herself.

There was no telling what hour it was, but it was night at the very least. Having just finished taking a bath, Rei stood in the kitchen, her hair still soaked with water and smelling of both flowers and blood.

Misato was currently sitting on the couch watching the television, drinking and sobbing. However, instead of her usual selection of beer, she'd gone for something stronger. This had meant that the woman had gone through the cabinet of more potent alcohol that Asuka herself had rummaged though yesterday.

This of course had brought a flood of memories back to Rei's mind, and she currently stood staring at the kitchen floor, remembering all the things Asuka and Shinji had said.

How could it all go so wrong so fast?

She had been happy. They all had been so happy.

Never before had she known life could be so good. Never before had she known life could be so awful.

Even before, when she'd resolved to kill herself, she hadn't felt this awful. At least, she figured, Shinji could be happy and start again, even if she could not. And, even then, Shinji had come back. And Asuka had come around as well.

Rei clenched at her heart, remembering as she lay on the floor of her apartment a few nights ago, her heart soaring as she was being showered with affection and care from Shinji and Asuka. The hot tears running down her face, her own as well as Shinji's and Asuka's. Shinji's arm around her as Asuka cried into her hair and begged, "Not again. Please, not again!" as she stroked her cheek.

She felt loved for and cared for like she never had before. She could vividly remember Asuka telling her, "You stupid girl! You're family! Of course you're coming back with us! Why do you think we came all the way out here to find you!?" before they had returned to Misato's apartment and all three of them together had made love for the first time. It was in that moment that Rei truly realized she wasn't alone. She was a part of a larger whole. Together, with Shinji and Asuka, she was part of what she might finally be able to claim was a family. She finally had a place that she truly belonged, and it wasn't in some run down lonely apartment. It was here, in this place, in Misato's home where so much life and love could be found.

Once more, Rei's hot tears began to pour down her cheeks and fall onto the kitchen floor as she remembered that night and the day after with such clarity and yearning. Remembering all the words she'd shared with her family.

She could remember Asuka's competitive spirit that spurred her on day after day.

"You know, you're really starting to get good at this cooking stuff, Rei. I may need to brush up on my skills. It's been awhile since I cooked anything."

She could remember Shinji's supportive words. Even when he wasn't taking the lead in something, he could be counted on to lift you up in your moment of need.

"You're doing great, Rei! This mulligatawny was really good. I'm sure you'll really impress father. He'll be happy you're learning."

'Commander Ikari. Why, Commander?' Rei thought to herself with a sniffle.

Even now, she could still hear Commander Ikari's words echoing around inside her mind.

"Do your duty, Rei."

Those words had been her only reason for existing for so long. But she had so much more to live for now.

She blinked her eyes, almost wincing in painful recognition as she recalled the sensation of Asuka's soft lips kissing her throat or Shinji's kissing her on her forehead. It was so vivid, it was almost like she'd gone back in time for a split second only to be forcefully dragged back into the cruel oppression of the present a moment later.

"It doesn't matter what you are, Rei. It matters who you are. You're just you, Rei. You've saved my life and Shinji's. There's nothing wrong with us being together," Rei remembered Asuka saying. At the time, Asuka had been lovingly resting her head against her own. She could remember the delightful smell of Asuka's cinnamon and vanilla shampoo and the warmth of her cheek as it rested on Rei's shoulder.

"Asuka's right, Rei. You don't need to worry about that. It doesn't change anything you've done for us. I know I don't really have the right to say that after how I acted the other day. But, I was wrong, Rei. Everything is fine and none of this is your fault," Rei recalled Shinji saying before he kissed her head. What a delightful feeling to have someone so tender and yet so strong be there for you. Sometimes, a reassuring kiss on the head was all you needed to face the day with a little more fortitude.

"Oh Gott, ich könnte dich küssen," the voice of Asuka could once more be heard reciting to the small audience that consisted of only Rei's mind. Back the other day, in Ritsuko's office, Asuka had essentially been saying that she could kiss Rei. Of course, Rei was only too happy to oblige. And, even though Asuka was embarrassed afterwords, she had felt her kiss her back, even if they were both in front of Doctor Akagi and Lieutenant Ibuki.

'Ugh, Rei,' she could remember Shinji moaning as she kissed his throat on the couch yesterday. He'd always been uptight but it made Rei happy to know she could get him to relax at least some. Not like his father. Always so guarded in their every interaction, even with her. She was practically his daughter and still, he was cold to her.

"I couldn't say, Rei," she remembered Gendo saying the day before yesterday, "I sent Shinji away so I wouldn't feel such things. And it was the same reason I kept you at an arm's length as well."

She had confronted Gendo for answers. Who was she? What was her purpose? Why had she been alone all this time? What was it all for? Why create a daughter and a son only to discard them both?

"Rei, it is just as Fuyutsuki said. You are a gift. A gift to yourself. A gift to me. A gift to all of humanity. And a gift to Shinji," Gendo had claimed. It was an answer after a fashion. And at the time, it had seemed satisfactory. But, now, it didn't seem to ring so true to Rei.

Yes, Shinji had attacked NERV. She didn't know what he had intended at the time. He'd left her with a bloody girl. He'd left her with Asuka. The same Asuka who, only minutes before, had been fighting to protect Japan. Fighting to protect the whole world. But, most of all, fighting to protect her and Shinji.

If Shinji had to leave, what was she to do but stay by Asuka's side. And so, though she couldn't fathom why Shinji would return to Unit-01 as Asuka laid bleeding on the ground in the middle of the street, she chose to trust him and remain with Asuka.

And later, when Misato had arrived, seeing the two girls covered in blood, both their own and each others' as well as Unit-02's, when she'd frantically rushed over to them only minutes before the medical transport had arrived, Rei didn't understand why Misato didn't know where Shinji and Unit-01 had gone.

As it turned out, Shinji hadn't told anyone his plans. Not her. Not Misato. He just silently marched back to Unit-01.

And then, later, in the car as she and Misato followed behind the ambulance Asuka was in, Misato got the call. But what was she to do? Order Shinji to stand down? What good would that do? He wasn't liable to listen after what had just happened.

And so it was that Shinji had been taken from her just as quickly and unexpectedly as Asuka had. It was too much for her heart to bear. The day had been so bright and full of promise, and then it all came tumbling down in an instant.

Rei remembered, just the other day, Gendo telling her that, "It is crucial that you are there for Shinji. And it is crucial for humanity that you are as well. Yours is a terrible and great responsibility, Rei. I only regret I could not grant you a lighter burden to bear. But, I had hoped you would at least find this responsibility to your liking. So, please, Rei… take care of Shinji for me. That… is why you were made, at least in part. The rest, you will come to understand in time."

But how was she supposed to take care of Shinji like this? A few days ago, it would have been different.

"I want to be with you!" Rei remembered Asuka desperately shouting into her and Shinji's chests after making love for the first time, "I want to be with you forever! I don't ever want to leave your side! I don't want to go back to being the way I used to be! I want to stand together with you, both of you! You're all I have and all I need! You're everything to me and I can't go on without you. I can't fight the angels without you! I can't do anything without you! I want to spend every day of my life with you. I want to do things with you! I want to see the world with you! But most of all, I want both of you to never leave me!"

Needless to say, Rei saw things the same way as Asuka. She wanted to be with Shinji and Asuka and never leave their side. And if her duty truly was to take care of Shinji and Asuka, she'd happily do it.

But not like this. This simply wasn't right. She couldn't be there for Shinji like this. She couldn't protect Shinji when he was being kept imprisoned in some place that only Gendo and God knew where.

Finally, Rei, her vision blurred with tears, looked up from the kitchen floor and over into the living room where Misato sat on the couch, drunkenly watching the television. It had only been just the other day that she, Shinji, and Asuka had all been sitting there. All of them cuddling on the couch. She remembered Asuka flirting with her, stroking her face while saying, "You know, I think your hair's gotten a little longer. You gonna cut it soon?"

Solemnly, Rei looked over her shoulder and back to the bathroom before turning around and walking back into it.

Steam still wafted around as she stepped into the bathroom and the smell of soap filled the air.

"I haven't thought about it recently," Rei remembered she had responded to Asuka, "I have been… distracted."

She looked in the bathroom mirror. It was clouded with steam. She had only just finished bathing after all.

She blinked her eyes a few times to clear away her tears before taking her hand and wiping some of the condensation from the mirror.

Asuka was right. She hadn't noticed until now, but her hair had grown out longer than she usually let it. She usually cut it short enough that it didn't go too far past her jaw line. But now, it had grown down just past her shoulders.

She pulled open a drawer of the bathroom counter, looking for her scissors that she'd brought with her from her old apartment. And, after having to stop to wipe away her tears a few more times, she finally found them and pulled them out before then grabbing a lock of her hair and raising the pair of scissor blades to it, ready to cut it.

She looked in the mirror, back at herself. Her makeup that Asuka had so kindly helped her put on this morning was streaked and smudged down her face both from crying and from her bath. Looking at herself in the mirror often reminded her of the fact she was a clone. Disposable and replaceable. It usually didn't bother her, but for some reason, it did now.

"You should grow it out. I think it would look magnificent. You'd be really attention grabbing," Rei heard Asuka's voice echoing inside her once more, remembering the redheaded girl smiling at her sweetly and stroking her cheek before she turned to Shinji and asked, "Don't you think, Shinji?"

"Oh god, o- of course. It would look great!" Rei recalled the boy had said.

More tears fell out of her eyes and she grit her teeth before lowering the scissors, not having cut any of her hair.

The girl sniffled a few times before quietly walking out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen. She once more looked at Misato, who was still dealing with the events of the day in her own way. Rei then looked in the other direction, at the foyer that led out of the apartment before then once more looking back in the direction of the living room.

She began making her way to Shinji's room and, upon entering found her suitcase still laying on the floor.

There wasn't really much left in it other than Gendo's old glasses, Yui's music box, and Shinji's SDAT. But, Shinji's SDAT is exactly what she wanted, and so she unzipped the suitcase before grabbing the little music player and its accompanying earbuds before then quickly and quietly leaving the room and returning to the kitchen.

One last time, Rei looked at Misato. Apparently, the woman was too drunk, depressed, or both to take notice of her as she halfheartedly watched the television. Rei then turned and walked down the short hallway of the foyer before arriving at the door. The girl wasn't particularly trying to be quiet, but she almost silently opened the door and left the apartment, gently closing the door behind her.

The balmy nighttime city air seemed to make her tears change from hot to cold and she walked over to the railing that patiently guarded the residents of the fifth floor apartment rooms from falling to the asphalt below.

There weren't very many residents on the fifth floor though. This was a fact that was made all the more apparent by the absence of Shinji and Asuka. This specific apartment complex in itself wasn't the most populated. There were only ever about four cars in the parking lot, one of which was Misato's Renault.

There was one man, probably middle aged, who lived on the first floor that owned a white truck, a Subaru BRAT by all accounts. There was also a couple who lived on the second floor who had a metallic cherry red Datsun 260z. And then there was one more woman, also on the second floor, somewhat elderly, who had a tan 1971 Toyota Celica. And those were really the only cars that ever graced the apartment's parking lot, Misato's blue Renault Alpine, the red Datsun, the White BRAT, and the tan Celica.

Little did Rei know that soon, one more vehicle would be added to the apartment's collection of regulars and that one more of the apartment's abundant rooms would be filled with the joy of raucous young life. But, for now, that was beyond Rei's purview.

In truth, Misato, Shinji, Asuka, and Rei herself were the only people on the fifth floor.

On the other side of the parking lot across from Misato's apartment, Rei noticed the red Datsun and was once more reminded of Asuka.

'Red, the color I hate… The color I love,' she sorrowfully thought before looking back down at the pair of scissors in one hand and the SDAT in her other.

Slowly, she extended her hand that was holding the scissors over the railing.

The night time city lights were blurry in Rei's teary eyes, and she couldn't even hardly see the scissors despite them not being more than two feet from her head.

She then let go of the scissors and dropped them all the way to the parking lot below. She heard a plasticky clatter about a second later. The girl whimpered before then beginning to walk to the stairwell. And, after arriving at the stairs, she then began heading down them despairingly.

She wasn't sure how long she took walking down them, but upon arriving at the bottom, she then stepped out into the parking lot before walking to Misato's car and stopping. For a second, she just stood there, but then she lazily slumped onto the asphalt and laid down on her back next to Misato's car.

She held Shinji's SDAT above her and spent a few seconds trying to untangle the cords of his earbuds. And, after she had, she put them in her ears and pressed the play button.

And that was were she stayed for the rest of the night…

/

The next morning…

Rei opened her eyes and saw the wide morning sky above her. It was a pale blue that gradually shifted to a pastel yellow the closer it grew to the sun. However, that wasn't the only thing looming overhead.

Rei's lips parted slightly as she saw Misato standing over her, her arms crossed and her eyes disappointed… yet still understanding.

Only then did Rei realize her music was still blaring in her ears and that she'd somehow managed to fall asleep despite that.

Rei let out a soft groan before pulling the earbuds out, not even bothering to sit up from the concrete as Misato stood there expectantly. Her back, ribs, hips and head all ached from sleeping on the asphalt through the entire night.

"So, this is where you've been…" Misato said in a quiet, obviously worried, but compassionate voice.

Rei couldn't hardly hear her due to her ears still trying to adjust to the lack of music. Nevertheless, she furrowed her brow.

Misato knelt down next to the girl.

"You can't do this, Rei," Misato said in a high raspy voice that had obviously been strained from the amount of alcohol she'd had the night before, "It's dangerous. Don't you know how worried I was this morning when I couldn't find you? I've already lost Asuka and Shinji. I couldn't bear to loose you too. Don't do this again, okay?"

Rei could yet again feel her eyes filling with tears and she closed them tightly before breaking down and beginning to sob.

Shinji had said something similar the same night of Operation Yashima and the memory of it was like a glowing hot iron branding her heart.

"You have nothing? Really? You were just… gonna leave me on that? And that whole dramatic goodbye thing? Don't do that again, okay?" she could explicitly remember Shinji telling her before he had begun crying in her entry plug.

Back then, she had naively asked him why he was crying. But she understood why now...

"What are we going to do, Rei?" Misato said as she caringly stroked the girl's hair.

/

A few hours later, in Classroom 2-A of the Tokyo-3 General Graduates Academy…

Recently, Toji had found himself skimming through medical textbooks and health pamphlets before school if not quite outright studying them. It was an admirable start, even if he wasn't absorbing all the information yet.

Yesterday, however, he had found himself quite distracted due to a chain of unfortunate events and curious circumstances. And today seemed like it wasn't going to be any different despite there not being an angel to interrupt the proceedings.

"Hey, Toji! Did you hear about what happened to Unit-03?" Kensuke asked.

"Yeah, man. I'm pretty sure the whole of Japan heard about it. Can't you give it a rest? I'm tryna study," the jock said to his nerdy friend.

"Did I hear you right, Mister Suzuhara? You're studying without my intervention?" Hikari asked from seemingly out of nowhere.

"Huh!?" Toji questioned as he raised his head from his textbook only to see Hikari standing in front of him.

"He has been studying actually, and quite astutely at that. Pretty special occasion, huh?" Kensuke said before taking a picture of Toji and his textbook, "He told me he decided he wants to be a Doctor because of what happened to Sakura!"

"H- Hey! Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you! You dumbass, that was supposed to be between us," Toji growled at Kensuke as a blush swept across his face.

"Mister Suzuhara, do not cuss!" Hikari demanded.

"Yes, ma'am!" Toji said, straightening his back fearfully.

"Still though," Hikari said before letting out a sigh, "I'm proud of you for studying. Ah, I suppose as the class representative, I'll have to find some way to reward you. Hmm..."

"Uh, N- No! That's really not necessary at all!" Toji stuttered.

"Tell me, Mister Suzuhara, Sakura is your sister, right?" Hikari questioned.

"Yes, ma'am!" Toji said affirmatively.

Hikari closed her eyes and giggled.

"Then, I guess this can't hurt," she said before leaning over and giving Toji a quick kiss on the cheek.

Toji almost choked and his face turned completely red.

Hikari then stood back up before smiling at Toji pleasantly.

"Ah- Wai- Guh- Did- Did you just- Just- K- Kis- Wha- Huh!?" Toji stuttered.

"Keep up the good work, and there'll be more where that came from," Hikari said with a wink.

Upon turning around and beginning to walk away, Hikari's expression changed from that of a flirt to someone who was mortified.

'Oh god. I just kissed him in front of the whole class! Did anyone notice!? Was I too forward? Oh gosh, I hope he liked it,' Hikari thought to herself, her heart fluttering as she tried to resist the urge to clench her fists in anxiety.

"See, I know what the class rep likes. You better thank me later, dude," Kensuke said, nudging Toji in his side as Toji rubbed his cheek in disbelief.

Toji glanced at Kensuke with a confused expression before looking back at Hikari and blurting out, "Class rep- I mean... Hikari, wait!"

The girl turned around before looking at Toji questioningly.

"Hmm? What is it Mister Suzuhara?" she asked, timidly walking back to his desk.

"I have a favor to ask!" Toji said, sounding slightly pressed for time, "It's about Shinji… And Rei and even that… bit- I mean, brat, Asuka."

"Um, of course? What is it exactly?"

"Have… Have you heard anything about where they are!?"

"Huh? What's this about?" Hikari asked as she glanced at each of the three vacant seats around Toji and Kensuke's desks, "I just figured they were at NERV."

"Yeah… I thought so too. But… Shinji didn't text me or Kensuke at all last night and hardly at all the day before. And neither did Asuka or Rei when we texted them. The last I heard from Shinji, he said he was taking the day off to visit his mom's grave. But… he hasn't texted me a single time since then. And… honestly… I feel like something bad's gone down."

Hikari gave Toji a gentle smile and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Oh Toji, your compassionate side warms my heart… I'm sure they're fine," Hikari said, trying to reassure the boy.

"I… I dunno," Kensuke suddenly said, sounding a little worried himself, "I… saw some rumors last night when I was browsing through a few forums. Rumors… about the Eva pilots."

"Rumors!? Like what!?" Toji asked.

Kensuke sighed and straightened his glasses.

"I should stress that these are just rumors," Kensuke reiterated, "But… I heard that… supposedly, the American Evangelion pilots were being reassigned to Japan. Here… at Tokyo-3. Not Kyoto. Not Matsushiro. Not Tokyo-2… Tokyo-3."

"What? But, why? What does that mean? Why would they send them here!?" Toji asked.

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Kensuke said astutely as he pointed at Toji emphatically while using his other hand to push his glasses up his nose, "Why bring the American pilots here? Bringing Unit-03 here was already a violation of the Vatican treaty."

"The… Vatican treaty? What's that?" Hikari asked.

"Its an accord," Kensuke continued, "that stipulates that no country is allowed to possess more than three Evangelions on their country's soil at a time... So, if that's the case, why bring Unit-03 here and why assign the American pilots to Japan? And, even more importantly, why yesterday? Yesterday being the day an angel appeared and the day Unit-03 arrived here. And, the day before that being the day Shinji, Rei, and Asuka went AWOL except for the fact that Unit-01, Unit-00, and Unit-02 all engaged Unit-03."

"W- Wait… are you saying… Are you saying something happened to them when they fought the angel yesterday?" Toji asked in shock.

"I'm not saying anything except that it could be a possibility," Kensuke corrected his friend, "Like I said, it's all just rumors at this point."

"I… I think we should go check up on them... Today! Right now!" Toji said, about ready to get out of his seat and sprint to Misato's apartment.

"No, Mister Suzuhara! We should wait until after school," Hikari said, pushing the boy back down into his seat.

"What!? But why!? It's not like I'll be able to focus on my work. And- And they could be in danger!" Toji almost shouted.

"Or," Hikari began, "They could be just fine. Maybe they're just signing some documents. Or training. I have no idea what Eva pilots do."

Toji grit his teeth in frustration.

"Grrrh, fine!" Toji huffed, "But I don't like this."

"I'm… sure they're fine, Toji. And, we can't do anything about it right now anyways," Hikari said, trying to calm the boy down again.

"Kensuke," Toji said as he glanced at the boy in frustration, "I know I told you to shut up about it earlier, but who are the American Pilots?"

"Hmm… Amelia Rineheart," Kensuke started, "Blonde girl. Grey-ish eyes. The picturesque personification of your everyday stereotypical American girl. She's the pilot of Unit-03; the one that almost tore up Unit-02 yesterday. And, they say, she can't talk."

"Can't talk?" Toji asked, "Can't talk or won't talk?"

"Can't talk," Kensuke confirmed, "I'm not sure on all the details. But, I read last night she's a mute."

"Oh… poor thing. That must be hard," Hikari mumbled sadly.

"And the others?" Toji asked.

"One other. Ahni Rubikard. She's the Pilot of Mark.04. I think she's from Peru originally. That, or her parents were or something. Once again, I'm not sure on everything. Like I said, it's just rumors. But, if these rumors are true, we'll be able to ask them ourselves soon enough. Maybe… It's complicated… Anyways, she's supposedly some kind of prodigy just like Sohryu. The youngest serving Evangelion Pilot and really intelligent to boot. They said she's only like eleven or twelve or something but can match wits with scholars. Heheh, if that's true, I'd really like to quiz her myself. Though, that would be hard because… well, she's also deaf."

"What!?" Toji coughed, choking on his own spit in surprise.

"That's… ironic," Hikari said.

"Heheh, yep. Two sides of the same coin," Kensuke chuckled, "Supposedly she has some... rare-ish genetic condition or something. That's what makes her deaf. Apparently it also does something to her eyes or something. Makes them blue. Which… doesn't sound all that odd. Lots of Americans have blue eyes. But, like I said, she's got Peruvian blood in her. That makes her blue ones stand out a bit more than everyone else's. She also supposedly has some... white stripe in her hair from the same condition."

"Man, what the hell is up with these Evangelion pilots!?" Toji asked in exasperation, "They're all a bunch of weirdos! Every single one of them. Except maybe for Shinji, but even he gets a little weird sometimes. Rei always being quiet and staring out the window and wearing those red contacts and the hair dye! And Asuka being just a- a total bitch all the time."

"I told you not to cuss, Toji!" Hikari pleaded.

"Gah! But she cusses me out in German all the time and you never tell her to stop, class rep!" Toji whined.

"Uh… well," Hikari started, timidly rubbing her arm, "That's just because I don't know German and therefore, I can't actually confirm if she's… well… if she's cussing."

"Of course she's cussing! You've heard her Japanese! Of course she's cussing in German too! Probably even more!" Toji said, trying not to shout.

"Mmmgh… Maybe…" Hikari said bashfully.

"Still… After yesterday, I'm worried about them," Toji continued, "Its not like Shinji to not get back to me on shit. I mean, for a couple hours, maybe. But not for almost an entire two days, even after an angel. I don't like this at all. Something's up! I'm going to Miss Misato's place today after school. Kensuke, you're coming with me, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Of course," Kensuke said affirmatively.

"Um… I'll come as well!" Hikari added, "As class representative, I bear at least some responsibility for their well-being… even outside of school."

Toji glanced at Hikari and nodded solemnly before looking out the window of the classroom, wondering just where in the world his friends were.

/

Several hours later, at an undisclosed location somewhere deep below NERV HQ…

"Y'know, you're not at all like what they said you'd be like."

Shinji remained silent and, for a moment, the only sound that could be heard was the blood dripping off his chin and onto the floor.

"Your father said you were a coward. I didn't expect you to be the strong silent type and I certainly didn't think you'd last this long without breaking. I gotta congratulate you, kid."

The boy continued to hang his head, refusing to make eye contact with the man who'd been torturing him for God knows how long now.

"Ah, the cold shoulder. You wound me, Sir."

The man dropped the pipe he'd been holding and it fell onto the floor of the dark room, clanking loudly enough to hurt Shinji's ears.

"Well… we have a few options we can go with here. So, how about we decide. Either, I can entertain you with an electrifying performance or I can get you something to drink."

Shinji was confused by the man's offer, but he tried not to show it and continued to hang his head to hide his expression.

"After all, I did say I'm under orders not to kill you. It wouldn't due to have you dying of dehydration on my watch."

"Do whatever you want," Shinji croaked out in a tired whisper.

"You've lost quite a bit of blood. I'm sure a smart kid like you knows that loosing blood also means loosing water. I'll get you that drink."

Shinji felt his chair being tipped backward onto the ground, and, somehow, he felt this wasn't part of the process of getting a drink.

Despite the dimness of the white light above him, it still hurt his eyes to look at it and he squinted before the silhouette of the man appeared, looming over him.

"Ah, sorry. Is the light bothering you? Don't worry. I got something for that."

The man then walked off into one of the dark corners of the room before shouting at the other man who'd been quietly standing in the back of the room behind Shinji.

"Hey you! Fill up that bucket."

Just as silent as ever, the second man picked up a bucket from yet another corner of the room before walking to the other side and turning on what sounded like a faucet somewhere in the darkness.

Before long, the first, more talkative man, came back and tossed a rag on Shinji's face.

"There, kid. That should help you relax," he said.

He then walked away again before once again barking, "Fill up the next one. This one'll be gone in a minute," to the other man.

Shinji could then hear presumably the first man pick up the bucket of water before walking back to him.

"Open wide, punk."

Shinji then felt a rush of water pouring over his face. Accidentally breathing some of it, he almost coughed before attempting to hold his breath instead when it became apparent the water wasn't going to stop in any predictable manner. But even this was difficult due to him already having the urge to cough.

Just like breathing in LCL, but worse in every way imaginable.

/

Meanwhile, at the Katsuragi residence…

"Well…" Toji sighed after he'd knocked on the door to Misato's apartment and gotten no response.

Hikari and Kensuke both waited expectantly while Toji scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Try again!" Kensuke said.

Toji glanced at the door before doing as Kensuke suggested.

Still no response.

"What now?" Hikari asked.

"Agh, Toji. Do you remember what Misato's car looked like?" Kensuke asked, "Maybe they're just not home or something. We can check the parking lot."

"Damn it! This isn't right!" Toji cursed.

Toji then cupped his hands around his mouth before shouting into the door, "HEY, SHINJI!? AYANAMI!? YOU IN THERE!? SOHRYU! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!"

"Hey, knock it off, Toji," Hikari scolded the boy, "No one's home. You're making a scene."

Toji was about to say something in response but, suddenly, the door to the apartment could be heard unlocking.

They all turned to face the apartment only to find one of Rei's red eyes peeping through the barely open door.

"Suzuhara and…" Rei whispered.

"R- Rei! You're okay! Wh- Where's Shinji!?" Toji asked frantically, interrupting the girl.

"Shin… ji… Shinji… Shinji is… not here," Rei said so slowly and quietly that Toji almost had to lean in closer to hear her.

"Then… what… what about Sohryu!? Where is she? Why haven't any of you been answering our texts!?" Toji once more asked the girl, this time sounding slightly more worried.

"Asu… ka… is… not here either," Rei once again said barely above a whisper.

"Guh!" Toji gasped, "Then, what about Misato? This is her apartment!"

"Katsuragi is... not present. She left some time ago…" Rei once more said, "She… wished to be with… an acquaintance. Chief Inspection Officer Kaji. I am… not sure if you remember him."

"The guy Sohryu always goes on about in class? The guy who brought us to the aquarium and that we went camping with that one time? Him?" Toji inquired.

"Yes, him…" was all Rei said.

Toji's shoulders sagged and Hikari looked at him with a worried expression.

"So… you're really here all alone?" Toji asked.

"I am…" Rei confirmed quietly.

"Is everything alright, Ayanami?" Kensuke asked, leaning past Toji and trying to get a better look at the girl's eye.

"Is everything… al… right? Yes… everything is fine," Rei confirmed, though this didn't seem to convince anyone.

"Well… uh… can we come in? I mean, if it's not too much of a burden that is," Toji asked.

"Oh… sorry. I did not know you wished to enter. Yes, you may come in. I will make dinner," Rei said before walking away from the door, pulling it open behind her as she disappeared behind it.

Toji and Kensuke looked at the now wide open door in confusion before glancing back at each other with questioning expressions.

"Ugh, what're you waiting for? Go on then! Something's obviously wrong with her!" Hikari whispered behind the two boys before pushing them through the door.

The trio of school kids entered Misato's apartment and shut the door behind them, but immediately had to stop themselves from gagging. Something smelled like it was burning and some smoke could be seen wafting from the kitchen into the foyer.

"Maybe you were right, Toji," Hikari said in a choked whisper, "Maybe we should have skipped school. Something's wrong. This is creeping me out."

Toji looked over at the girl before furrowing his brow and nodding.

The kids continued walking down the hallway before rounding the corner in the kitchen to see Rei standing in front of the stove top. How the girl could stand to breathe with all the smoke billowing in her face was beyond anyone's ability to explain.

"Rei?" Toji asked as he walked up behind the girl.

Looking over her shoulder, he could see what appeared to be severely burnt slices of vegetables in a skillet with smoking oil. After identifying what was causing the smoke, Toji looked at the girl's face. It seemed completely inexpressive as the girl sat staring at the burning vegetables.

"Uh, Ayanami," Toji choked out, "I think it- I think its done now."

"Oh… yes. It would seemed so," the girl mumbled, though she didn't seemed to make any effort to remove the skillet from the stove top.

"Ugh, Rei, were- were you gonna take it off?" Toji coughed.

The girl didn't seem to have heard him.

"Rei, how long have you been here?" Toji asked, trying to get some kind of response from the girl.

The girl still didn't indicate she'd heard him.

"Uh, Rei, I was actually just reading this morning about how dangerous smoke inhalation is. You're gonna start a fire. We should turn this off," Toji said, twisting the temperature dial before it clicked off.

The boy then quickly moved the skillet off the burner, though it would still be a few minutes before the vegetables stopped smoking.

Through all of this, Rei didn't protest and just stood there solemnly.

"Come on, Ayanami. Why don't you just take a seat or something?" Toji said as he put his hand on her shoulder and helped turn her around so he could direct her to the kitchen table.

"Rei! You look awful!" Hikari gasped as the girl turned around.

Her eyelids hung low over her eyes and her now several day old makeup was smeared all over her face. Her hair was a mess and had begun to become tangled. But, most of all, her face seemed lifeless and her eyes seemed to be focused so far off in the distance, no one would ever know what she'd seen.

Hikari then noticed the girl had band aids all over her fingers.

"Rei, what did you do to your hands?" Hikari asked.

"I was… cooking," Rei said as Toji pulled out a seat for her at the table and sat her down.

Toji himself pulled out a chair and sat down next to the girl. He looked her in the eyes for a few moments, thinking about what to say. Rei however, kept her head hung and stared at the kitchen table.

Toji sighed before saying, "Rei, you're acting really weird… I mean, you always act weird. But... you're acting weirder than normal right now."

Rei made a quiet indiscernible sound that almost sounded like a sigh.

Toji put his hand on the girl's shoulder once more and lowered his head so he was leaning in front of her.

"Rei… what is going on?" Toji asked as he gently shook the girl.

"I…" Rei said before her lower lip began trembling and her eyelids fluttered.

"Where are Shinji and Asuka, Rei? You have to tell us. We're very worried about you three. Did something happen?" Toji said slowly.

"I…" Rei squeaked again before sniffling.

"Rei," Kensuke said, sounding a little worried, "I read last night the American pilots were being assigned to Japan. Why? Did something happen to Shinji and Asuka? Are they okay? Are they in danger?"

Rei finally folded her arms over the kitchen table before burying her face in them and loudly beginning to cry.

Toji glanced up at Kensuke with a worried look before trying to comfort Rei by rubbing her back. Hikari herself then also rushed to Rei's side and also put a caring hand on her.

Kensuke himself felt a lump in his throat and he was beginning to fear the worst.

Toji took a deep breath, trying to calm his own fears that were beginning to surface.

"Okay, Rei… Okay. Take your time," Toji said in a deep voice, trying not to let it crack.

"Sh- Shin- ji!" Rei sobbed.

Toji bit his lip now while Hikari herself even began to cry.

"Shinji- Shinji... attacked NERV!" Rei managed to say.

"What the hell…" Toji sighed as Hikari glance toward him with a fearful expression.

"Asu- Asuka was… hurt!" Rei bawled, "Shinji… was upset because- because… NERV is who- who hurt her."

"Damn… Sohryu…" Toji said in disbelief.

"What… the hell?" Kensuke also asked, not entirely sure of what he was hearing.

"Where are they now, Rei?" Hikari sniffled.

"Don't know- I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHINJI IS!" Rei shrieked in emotional agony, "...but, I can- I can... take you to Asuka."

/

-Looking Forward-

/

Some time later, at Asuka's hospital room in NERV Hospital…

Asuka sighed as she heard the door of her hospital room open yet again. Earlier in the day, she'd glanced over at the door every time someone had walked in, hoping for it to be Shinji or Rei or Misato, or at least someone she recognized. Doctor Akagi had been in a few times, but for the most part, it was mostly just nurses, and so she'd quit jumping with excitement every time the door opened. However, this time was finally going to be different.

"Asuka!?" the redhead heard the voice of Rei call out.

Asuka gasped before lifting her tired head to look at the door. Standing there was Rei along with Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari. Rei's eyes lit up for the first time all day seeing Asuka's beautiful blue eye looking back at her.

"Uwah!" Asuka gasped in excitement, "Rei! Its you!"

Asuka's heart began fluttering as Rei sprinted to her side before throwing her arms across Asuka's hospital bed and proceeding to cry into the sheets. Admittedly, the feeling of the girl collapsing on top of her had caused her a bit of pain in her head, but Asuka didn't care. She was beyond relieved to see Rei again.

"I'M SORRY! I WASN'T WITH YOU WHEN YOU WOKE UP!" Rei cried into Asuka's bed sheets, "I tried to stay. But Misato said I had to go home with her!"

"Rei, look at me!" Asuka said weakly.

The girl finally rose her head up, looking Asuka in the eye. Asuka sighed contentedly and gently brushed her fingers across Rei's cheeks. And, after that, she put her index finger under Rei's chin while lovingly pressing her thumb to the girl's lips and gazing at her beautiful red eyes with longing.

"I'm glad you're okay, Rei," Asuka sniffled.

"I don't remember those two being that close," Toji said under his breath.

"God, it's so beautiful. The bond of an Eva pilot must be something special," Kensuke said before taking his glasses off and wiping his eyes with his wrist.

"Are you crying, dude?" Toji asked his friend.

"Shut up, man!" Kensuke blurted out, "I was worried, alright."

"It's okay, dude. I was just fucking with you," Toji joked.

"Didn't expect to see you here, track boy," Asuka said snidely, though with a still lighthearted tone, "Get tired of chasing girl's skirts, you perv?"

Hikari suddenly found herself blushing at Asuka's comment.

"Damn, Sohryu. What the hell happened to you?" Toji asked, shaking his head at the girl in disbelief.

"You look like you got the shit beat outta you," Kensuke added, "Though, I'm sure you gave that angel a good thrashing yourself too."

"Heheh," Asuka chuckled shallowly, "I think I did."

"Seriously though," Toji said, "what's with that bandage over like half your face?"

Asuka glanced up at her forehead.

"I… I'm not sure… I can't really remember," Asuka said tiredly, "Doctor Akagi came in earlier and said I might have a hard time remembering things for a bit. I mean…. I remember fighting the angel… Or Unit-03, I guess. I remember being angry. But… everything after that kind of just slips away. I remember how I felt. I was… sad…. And scared. But… I don't remember what happened exactly."

At the time, no one noticed, but Rei frowned a little before looking out of the corner of her eyes. She already knew why that bandage was there. And she wasn't sure how to break the news to Asuka.

"Anyways," Asuka continued, "she also said I'd be free to go today as long as I didn't push it too hard. Ah! I can't wait to be back in Shinji's bed. This one sucks. Its too springy."

Toji and Kensuke glanced at each other curiously for a moment, seemingly each silently asking each other, "Did she say Shinji's bed?"

Perhaps it was just the painkillers leaving her confused they both surmised…

"Shinji… Shinji! Hey, guys, where… Where is Shinji!?" Asuka asked, seemingly only just noticing the boy was missing.

A light scowl came across Toji's face.

"Actually, Asuka, about that…" Toji started, "No one knows."

"Huh?!" Asuka questioned as she tried to prop herself up in her bed.

"Something… happened… after your fight yesterday. I think he'd rather explain it to you himself. But, right now, no one knows where he is," Toji said uneasily.

"But…" Asuka stuttered in disbelief, "Then… I… I'm going to go looking for him!"

Asuka suddenly began trying to climb out of bed.

"Sohryu, you can't!" Hikari said.

Toji quickly walked up to the girl and put his hand on her shoulder before pushing her back down into the bed.

"Wha- What're you doing!? Get off me!" Asuka growled.

"I'm sorry, but you're not leaving this bed, Sohryu. You're in no condition to be wondering around. Not with that head injury and not in your confused state," Toji said to the girl.

"I'm fine! The doctor said I could leave," Asuka spat.

"Yeah! The doctor said you can leave with an escort so you can go home and rest. Not that you can go wondering around by yourself," Toji said firmly before trying his best to smile at the girl, "Stay in bed, Sohryu. We'll get to the bottom of this."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Asuka snarled.

"I'm not telling you what to do! I'm telling you what you need to do…" Toji said.

Asuka gasped and her visible eye widened before her expression softened.

"Shinji cares about you, Sohryu. I know he does," Toji continued, "Stay here. We can't focus on finding him if we have to keep an eye on you too. I'm sorry. I really am, Sohryu. But you simply are not in a state to search for him. And, as Shinji's friend, I can't let you come to any further harm. Rei said you were in surgery almost all night..."

"I… I can still-" Asuka tried to say before Toji cut her off.

"Stop it!" Toji snapped at the girl as his voice started to break, "We've been worried sick about you. Everyone has! Ever since whatever the hell happened yesterday. Don't you dare make us worry about you more, you selfish brat. Rei, bless her heart, has been crying over you and Shinji all day. Kensuke and me have been texting you and Shinji and Rei wondering what the hell happened."

Asuka inhaled timidly a few times in shock before glancing at Rei. Tears were once more starting to fall from the girl's cheeks and Asuka soon found herself tearing up as well.

"Rei," Asuka whispered before she bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

"I still don't understand everything that happened yesterday," Toji said, his eyes finally brimming over with tears, "But you've done enough, Sohryu. Let us handle this. The best way you can help us is to stay here. So please, promise me you'll stay put, okay?"

"I… I understand," Asuka said defeatedly before sniffling, "Please… Please, find him. I don't… really remember what happened. But, for some reason, I'd had this feeling that something awful had happened all day."

Toji nodded before gesturing for everyone to follow him out of the hospital room. And, right before stepping out of the room, he called back to Asuka and said, "Don't worry, Asuka. We'll be back as soon as we can."

After Kensuke and the girls had followed him out of the room and shut the door behind them, Toji sighed before scratching his head.

"I didn't really want to say right in front of her that we have no idea how to find him or where to even start looking but… we have to find Shinji," Toji said in a low voice, gathering Hikari, Rei, and Kensuke around him.

"How are we going to find him then?" Hikari asked.

"Yeah. If he really attacked NERV, there might not even be a way to find him. He might be detained. In fact, he probably is," Kensuke pointed out before adding, "I wonder what the hell they did to him and Sohryu…"

"I don't know… but we have to do something," Toji said.

"Actually," Rei muttered, "I may… know how to find him. But…"

"But what, Ayanami? What is it?" Toji asked the girl.

"I... don't want to put you in danger… I… have to do this myself… You should all go home. It is getting late," Rei said.

"Rei, what's wrong?" Hikari asked.

"What!? You can't just expect us to leave now!" Toji said in shock.

"I'm sorry… But it is better that you do," Rei said as she nervously played with her hands.

"No! No way!" Toji asserted.

"Toji," Kensuke said.

"Huh!?" Toji asked as he glanced at his friend.

"I think…" Kensuke continued, "I think we should let her go."

"What!? But why!?" Toji questioned.

"Because… I mean, look at her, man. We might not have always been close friends with her, but we've known her since she was a kid. She's always been so determined. And… I trust her," Kensuke said as he smiled at Rei, "I feel… I feel like she knows what she's doing. Believe me, I don't like it any more than you, Toji. But I think Rei knows best. And you should know better than to get in the way of a girl's heart."

"Kensuke…" Toji said, trailing off before he looked at Rei.

"You should go," Rei once again said, trying her best to smile, "It is as you said to Asuka… I can't find Shinji… if I worry about you as well."

"Ayanami…" Toji whispered before nodding at the girl.

He then put his arms around the girl and gave her a firm hug. At first, Rei was surprised by this but she found herself hugging Toji back.

"Bring him back to us, Rei," Toji said before pulling out of the hug, "I don't know what you're walking into. But, we'll always have your back. If you need anything, make sure to text us."

Toji then stepped away from the girl before Hikari also approached her and hugged her.

"I know, um…" Hikari started after separating from the girl, "I know we aren't the best acquainted. But, as the class representative and as a fellow person, you can always call on me."

And finally, Kensuke stepped forward before holding his hand out. Rei was taken aback for a moment before realizing Kensuke was offering to shake her hand. She then raised her own hand and grabbed Kensuke's.

Then, with a hearty shake, Kensuke said, "Happy hunting, Rei."

/

Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location deep below NERV HQ…

'I'm… going to miss you, Shinji,' the familiar voice of a man seemed to echo in Shinji's mind.

"Father… Dad… Where..." Shinji mumbled deliriously.

"We've been at this for almost twenty something hours, huh?" the voice of another man said, temporarily breaking Shinji out of his delirium, "Might have to actually go to bed soon. 'Nother guy'll come in after me. You don't get to take a break. Not after what you did."

Shinji sighed. He could barely understand the man's words, but somehow, they still reached him.

"I would say it's been fun… But, maybe we could still have a bit more fun before I go," the man yawned, "The next guy… I don't think you'll like him. He likes breaking the skin a bit more than I do."

Shinji sighed again before coughing. His lungs were still burning from being waterboarded.

"Y'know, society has no place for people like you. Weaklings like you only hold everyone back. You're down here because you wouldn't follow orders right? That's what your father said before he handed you off to me. Mistake number one. He said you wouldn't kill your… friend or whoever she was. Maybe… you shoulda killed her. I mean, was she really worth all this pain?"

'She's worth more than you'll ever know,' Shinji thought to himself, despite wanting to scream it at the man.

"Don't you get tired of talking to yourself?" Shinji spat weakly, "Do you ever shut the fuck up?"

"Hohoho, what was that?" the man chuckled.

The man started pacing in front of Shinji. He was smiling but Shinji couldn't care less and he still hung his head, looking only at the floor.

When the man's words didn't grab Shinji's attention any further, he struck him with a lightning fast punch, yet again sending the chair toppling over.

"You know what? I think I changed my mind. Maybe I can hang around a bit longer before bed."

The man then once more walked off to some dark corner of the room before furiously yanking some kind of long narrow item out of the darkness. There was then the rapid crackling of electricity in the air.

"I was getting tired of hearing you choking anyways. Time to get those lungs screaming again."

/

-Rei | This is My Heart-

/

'Tears… '

As she had many times over the past day, she found herself gazing down at her hands as they caught her falling tears.

'These tears are my tears…'

She stood in front of the door to Commander Ikari's office. She'd been trying to work up the courage to do this over the past 24 hours but it hadn't been easy. She didn't quite believe she'd simply be able to just walk up to Gendo and ask that Shinji go free like nothing had ever happened. And, beyond that, she was potentially risking everything to pursue this course of action.

She was a clone. She knew this. She was disposable. If Gendo so wished, if he found her too unruly or unbecoming, he could simply discard her and start again. She didn't have the kind of leverage she wished for. All she could do was pitifully clutch at her heart and beg and that wasn't liable to sway the man.

She looked up at the camera above the corner of the door. Gendo likely already knew she was here. She then gazed at the door itself. NERV's emblem was painted across it.

"God is in his heaven. All is right with the world." it read.

'No… No, this isn't right.'

Rei then remembered something Asuka had said when she and her were still at odds.

'It's no wonder you have a chalkboard as your significant other! Look at her! She's just sitting there! She won't even come to your defense, like a proper girlfriend would!' the redhead had said so caustically.

She then remembered what she had told Shinji on the night of Operation Yashima.

"You're wrong. You won't die… because I will protect you," Rei had promised the boy.

Still looking at the door, she then remembered Commander Ikari's words from just the other day.

"Rei, it is just as Fuyutsuki said. You are a gift. A gift to yourself. A gift to me. A gift to all of humanity. And a gift to Shinji," he had said so much more warmly than usual, though Rei's faith in those words had begun to falter.

'If… If I am a gift, I… I will… protect him. '

Rei inhaled nervously before pressing a button next to the door.

Gendo's voice crackled through a speaker near the door asking, "What is it, Rei?"

"I… I… um…" was all she could get out before her words caught in her throat.

She could hear Gendo sigh through the speaker before saying, "Enter… Rei."

Rei reached for the door handle and nervously pulled the door open before stepping inside. She then carefully and quietly closed the door behind her instead of letting it swing closed itself. This was quite odd for the usually focused and attentive girl. She was completely off balance and her taking such effort to close the door behind her was not unlike someone fidgeting with their fingers in discomfort.

She then slowly walked toward Gendo's desk, her shoulders raised and her head lowered, unable to meet Gendo's gaze.

"What is it, Rei?" the man's voice carried throughout the empty office as Rei finally came to a stop some number of paces away from Gendo's desk.

Rei nervously looked around, still not willing to make eye contact with Gendo.

"Where… where is Vice Commander Fuyutsuki?" Rei asked, noticing the man didn't seem to be around.

"Gone home. He's an old man and needs his rest even if he won't admit it," Gendo said.

"Oh…" Rei said, looking at the floor.

This was somewhat of a relief to her. What she was about to do was something she wouldn't have felt comfortable doing in front of Fuyutsuki. And so this considerably lightened the burden on her shoulders. She had words for Gendo and Gendo alone.

"How-" Rei choked out before starting to cry again.

Hearing the girl begin sobbing seemed to put Gendo more at attention and he straightened his back as he eyed the girl. He already had an idea as to why she was here though.

The girl tried her best to keep her arms stiffly at her side, but before long, she raised her forearm and brought it up to her eyes to wipe away her tears. Seeing this, Gendo began to unconsciously scowl. Seeing Rei upset was one of the few things that could elicit any true emotion from Gendo.

Especially upon having noticed the length of the girl's hair, Gendo's emotions slowly started to seep through. Rei already looked so much like his wife. But, she'd usually kept her hair cut short enough that at least her hairstyle was different. But now, aside from the unnatural colors of her eyes, hair, and skin, she looked exactly as Yui had so many years ago. The similarities in Rei's hair length and Yui's preferred cut was uncanny. Gendo could still remember kissing the woman, putting his hand around the back of her neck to pull her deeper into the kiss and feeling her hair between his fingers and her skin. And Rei's hair was now just long enough that, if Shinji were to put his hand around the back of her neck to pull her into a kiss, he'd probably have felt something similar.

"How… How… How- HOW COULD YOU!?" Rei suddenly screamed out before collapsing onto her knees.

Gendo suddenly felt like something had clenched down on his heart.

Gendo let out a stressed exhalation before saying, "Go home, Rei."

"NO! WHERE!? WHERE IS SHINJI!?"

Gendo, unable to look at the crying girl anymore, turned his head slightly and looked to the side. For a moment, he'd almost sworn he'd heard Yui asking where Shinji was.

"I said go home, Rei," was all he said back to the girl.

"I WANT SHINJI! GIVE HIM BACK!" Rei shrieked.

"Pilot Ikari is in detainment and facing punishment. Leave, Rei," Gendo growled.

"NO! I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF SHINJI! YOU SAID IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY!"

Gendo's eyes suddenly widened in shock hearing the girl's words as he'd suddenly been reminded of something Yui has said long ago.

"Gendo, take care of Shinji," he remembered she'd said with the kindest of smiles.

"HOW COULD YOU!? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY BOYFRIEND!? TO SHINJI! YOUR SON!" Rei screamed once more.

Gendo found himself wincing, hearing what was essentially Yui's voice spitefully echoing in his mind, "How dare you!? How dare you do that to my son! To Shinji! Our son!"

Hidden behind his glasses, Gendo tightly shut his eyes for a moment, seeing Yui's face flash in his mind as he did.

"HE HAS HOPES AND LOVES AND DREAMS! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM!? TO ASUKA!? TO ME!?" Rei yet again cried, her tiny yelling voice filling the walls of Gendo's office.

"He has hopes and loves and dreams, Gendo! How could you do this to our son? And to his girlfriends as well?! Are you actually going to do this?" Yui's voice once more torturously rang out in Gendo's mind.

"COMMANDER IKARI, PLEASE!"

"Gendo… What are you doing?"

Gendo silently scowled at Rei as she laid pitifully slumped in front of his desk, completely crying her eyes out.

"COMMANDER IKARI, I'M SAD!" Rei once more screamed out in agony as she wiped her tears away with the back of her wrists.

"I'm disappointed in you, Gendo," the figment of Yui's voice could be heard spitting into Gendo's mind.

Gendo grit his teeth and clenched his fists.

"My tears… MY TEARS WON'T STOP LEAKING! I- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM STOP WITHOUT SHINJI!" Rei yet again pitifully cried out.

"The blood won't stop flowing, Gendo. You won't be able to stop it without Shinji."

"PLEASE, COMMANDER! YOU MUST RECONSIDER!"

"Think about what you're doing, Gendo."

"PLEASE, COMMANDER! WHERE IS SHINJI!? I KNOW YOU MUST KNOW WHERE HE IS!?"

"Gendo, what are you doing to Shinji? You are knowingly letting some monster torture him right now. Why are you doing this? Why are you just leaving him down there?"

"COMMANDER IKARI, PLEASE! I ONLY WANT TO PROTECT HIM! I PROMISED TO PROTECT SHINJI!"

"Gendo, do not do this to my son. You promised to take care of him."

"PLEASE! COMMA-"

"ENOUGH, REI!" Gendo bellowed at the girl.

The girl jumped fearfully at the intensity of Gendo's voice before finding her courage and screaming back, "NO!"

"What is the matter with you!?" Gendo shouted at her.

"I WANT SHINJI! I WANT SHINJI! PLEASE, COMMANDER, I WANT SHINJI! I NEED SHINJI! ASUKA NEEDS SHINJI!"

"The world needs Shinji. You need Shinji, Gendo. Are you truly going to make an enemy of him at this juncture?" the remembered voice of Yui once more hauntingly said into Gendo's mind.

When had the girl become so disobedient Gendo wondered as he continued to stare at Rei as she sobbed on his floor. For a moment, he considered reaching into his desk and grabbing his gun. He could just shoot her and be done with it. Start again.

But was he truly that cold-hearted? Was he truly going to murder this girl who had served him so faithfully? Could he truly kill her just for following her heart. He was the one who'd put her up to this after all. This was an expected result even if it wasn't his desired one.

No. He still needed her. And he needed her relationship with Shinji intact. And so, though it was liable to be troublesome, it would only be more troublesome to explain why Rei had undergone such a drastic personality change in the event her replacement didn't act the same. And reforging the bond between Shinji and Rei's replacement would be nigh impossible.

"PLEASE, COMMANDER! PLEASE! I NEED SHINJI! I NEED TO PROTECT HIM! I HAVE TO PROTECT ASUKA. YOU TOLD ME TO BE THERE FOR HIM AS WELL AS ASUKA! THIS IS MY DUTY! THIS IS MY HEART!" Rei screamed before falling over from her knees and curling up on the floor, "This is my heart..."

"I told you, Gendo, to be there for Shinji. To protect him as a father should. Not to expose him to unnecessary dangers and put him through intentional cruelty. If you aren't going to fulfill my wishes, at the very least, you should let Rei carry on my legacy if she is truly so dedicated. Shinji is your duty. Shinji was your duty. Shinji is my heart," Gendo could mentally hear Yui scolding him.

Finally, the man had come to a decision.

"Stand up, Rei," Gendo ordered tiredly as he stood up from his desk.

"No… I can't…" Rei whimpered.

"Stand up, now! We're going to see Shinji."

Rei immediately raised her head and gasped, shock and disbelief apparent in her eyes as she finally made eye contact with Gendo.

Had she done it? Had she truly done it? Perhaps. Gendo had only said they were going to see him. Not that he would release him from wherever he'd been keeping him. Even so, this had to be considered progress of a sort. Gendo had relented at least some. Maybe, just maybe, he would relent entirely…

/

A few minutes later, at an undisclosed location deep below NERV HQ…

"Good news, kid. Sounds like you might get to go free," the man said as he hung up a phone, "That was your father who just called."

Shinji quietly sighed and still avoided making any eye contact with the man.

The man walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"There's just one thing we gotta take care of first," the man said as he gently shook Shinji, "You know what that is, right?"

Shinji once again chose not to respond.

"Hey, you! Get his restraints off," the man said to the other man standing behind Shinji.

Shinji's eyes widened. He hadn't expected the man to be telling the truth. But perhaps he was. In the next few seconds, he could feel his arms finally being unrestrained.

Shinji tiredly began to lift his hands so he could massage his wrists. But, before he could do anything, he felt the first man punch him in the face, knocking him to the ground.

Shinji tried to break his fall by putting his hands out to catch himself. But the rough floor was too painful for his burnt and blistered hands and he quickly withdrew them and instead ended up landing on the side of his arm.

Before he could even attempt to get up, he felt one of the men push him to the floor and grab his arms while the other man had strung something around his neck.

"Get off me!" Shinji roared.

"Shut up, kid," one of the men growled before tightening whatever was around Shinji's throat.

Shinji heard a clicking sound and a small beep before whatever was around his neck loosened some, but not by much. He then found himself being kicked repeatedly. He tried to use his blistered hands to block some of the blows. But he was too dazed to effectively defend himself. And so all he could really do was sit there and take it until the sound of a heavy door opening could be heard.

"Enough!" the voice of Gendo furiously bellowed into the small dark room.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," Shinji heard one of the men say.

"Shinji!" Rei desperately shrieked.

As the kicking finally ceased, Shinji could see the blue haired girl running right for him. He was about to smile before one of the men who had previously been kicking him extended his fist and punched Rei right in the gut, causing her to topple over.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Shinji screamed as he immediately rose to his feet and charged the man, somehow managing to knock him over.

Shinji clumsily raised his fist before punching the man in the jaw. Shinji himself was also immediately punched back, though he almost hadn't realized it with the fury that was now erupting from him. Shinji raised his fist again but he unexpectedly found himself yanked back and thrown off the man.

Shinji winced as his blistering palms once more scraped against the rough floor as he tried to stop himself. Despite the pain though, he immediately tried to get back up until he saw Gendo standing over the man.

With his gloved hand, Gendo grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt before silently but furiously punching him several times.

The man didn't dare raise his hand against Gendo and simply looked on in dumbstruck fear, almost not even realizing he was being punched.

Gendo finally let go of the man's collar before dropping him back to the floor. Gendo then stood up and glared down at the man and he straightened his glasses.

"Get the fuck out of here and learn your fucking place," Gendo spat, "You're not here to brutalize women, you imbecile."

The man slowly nodded before getting up and walking out of the room with his acquaintance.

"The fuck is wrong with you, dude? That's pilot Ayanami," the other man said.

"I know who she is! How the fuck was I supposed to know he didn't want me to hit her when he has his own son locked up down here? The hell is this shit, man?"

Shinji finally had a chance to catch his breath and he coughed as he, Gendo, and Rei waited for the two men to leave them in privacy. Shinji could taste a disgusting metallic flavor rising out of his throat as he coughed, doubtless some of the blood he'd swallowed earlier.

"Sh- Shinji!" Rei whimpered as she crawled towards him on her hands and knees.

"Rei…" Shinji shallowly exhaled.

Before Rei could reach him however, Gendo stepped between the two of them and glared down at Shinji.

"Due to your previous transgressions," Gendo started as Shinji began slowly rising to his feet, "You will be wearing that collar from now on. Consider it retribution… and insurance. I can't let you simply walk out of here without some means of keeping you under control."

Shinji uneasily swayed on his feet and, as Gendo finished speaking, Shinji boldly spat in Gendo's face.

Shinji continued glaring at the man as he calmly pulled his glove off his right hand before wiping the blood and spit off his face and slinging the fluids to the floor.

Then, without warning, Gendo savagely punched Shinji in the face so fast that he had no time to react.

"COMMANDER, PLEASE!" Rei shrieked yet again as Shinji was instantly knocked to the ground.

The man then put his glove back on before turning and walking to the door.

"Rei, you know the way out of here. You can escort Shinji back. And do not wander," Gendo said as he briskly walked away.

Gendo was about to leave the room before stopping and looking over his shoulder at Shinji.

"As for you," Gendo continued, "I'm not always going to be here to save you, Shinji. If you were anywhere else in the world, you'd be behind bars for the rest of your life. You'd better thank Rei and learn to count your blessings. You chose this responsibility. You chose to stay here. When I tell you to pilot the Eva, you pilot the Eva. Stop wasting time. Quit putting people's lives in danger. Get in the Eva OR GET OUT!"

Both Shinji and Rei flinched at the anger in Gendo's voice before the man finally left just them alone in the room.

Then, here, right now, it was just like it had begun. Shinji and Rei were yet again alone in a room together.

"Shinji!" Rei whimpered as she resumed crawling to Shinji.

"Rei, I'm... sorry! I didn't mean to get you hurt," Shinji choked.

"No! I am fine!" Rei said as she finally arrived at Shinji's side and nuzzled her face into his shoulder as her tears soaked the fabric of his shirt.

"Rei… it's good to see you again," Shinji said before he put his hand around the back of her head and kissed her on her cheek.

Shinji then tried his best to hug the girl with his pained arms.

"I'm sorry I let this happen to you," Rei cried out in a slow and high pitched voice.

"I'm fine, Rei," Shinji said before coughing, "But where- where's Asuka!? Is she safe!? Please tell me she's alive! Where is she!?"

"Asuka is okay," Rei said as she wiped some of her tears away, "I'll take you to her. She woke up awhile ago. She may have fallen back asleep though. But we can go wait for her if she has."

"Okay… Okay, come on. Let's go then," Shinji said as he tried to get up.

"Are you sure you can go to her like this, Shinji?" Rei once again whimpered as she helped him up.

"Yeah," Shinji coughed again, "I'm fine. It hurts. But I don't think anything is broken."

"You are brave, Shinji. I'm sorry I didn't protect you," Rei said, holding Shinji's arm as he began to walk out of the room with her.

"No. It's okay. You aren't responsible for what father did. And Rei?" Shinji asked.

"Yes?"

"I don't know what you did to convince him to let me out, but thanks."

/

Some time later, at Asuka's hospital room in NERV Hospital…

"Shinji…" Rei said as she watched the boy stand over Asuka's bed.

The redhead was unconscious yet again and Shinji, with a frown on his face, looked at the bandages over the left side of Asuka's face.

"So… She's really… Her eye's really…" Shinji said in disbelief.

"Y- Yes…" Rei said as she looked down at the floor, trying not to begin crying again.

Shinji clenched his fists as he began pacing back and forth at the side of Asuka's bed.

He then suddenly yelled out, "DAMN IT!" before punching the solid cinderblock wall.

He then punched the wall again with his other hand, and then again and again.

"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!" he screamed again, "IF I'D JUST DONE SOMETHING DIFFERENT! EVEN IF I'D JUST SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO STOP FATHER FROM- FROM-"

"SHINJI! STOP! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!" Rei cried as she ran up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS IF I'D JUST BEEN FASTER! IF I COULD HAVE COME UP WITH SOMETHING!" Shinji yelled again as he continued punching the wall.

Rei looked over the boy's shoulder to see blood seeping out from between his fingers from where he'd burnt his hands a second time on Asuka's entry plug.

"SHINJI! STOP! PLEASE! STOP HURTING YOURSELF! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" Rei screamed.

He seemed to not show any hint of stopping. And so, Rei tried to pull him away from the wall. Not expecting the girl to try to pull him back however, he accidentally stumbled over her feet, causing both of them to fall over backwards onto the floor of the hospital room.

'I… do not enjoy being here…' Rei realized as she laid on the floor for awhile just staring at the ceiling with Shinji.

"Mmgh," Rei moaned as she finally sat up and rubbed her elbow.

'Ceiling… Unfamiliar ceiling…' Shinji thought as he stared up at the oppressive white ceiling above him.

"Unfamiliar… ceiling…" Shinji mumbled.

"Shinji, please. You mustn't hurt yourself any more," Rei pleaded, "It hurts my heart. Please. You cannot do it."

"Run away…" Shinji said under his breath.

"Shinji?"

"Lets run away."

"Run… away?" Rei asked through a sob, "I- I am not sure I understand, Shinji."

"Yeah… We're gonna run away," Shinji said as he finally sat up.

"B- But why?" Rei asked.

"Because! I'm not going to let father hurt you and Asuka any more. You're right! It's not my fault Asuka lost her eye! It's father's fault! He did this! And I hate it. But, as much as I want to get back at him," Shinji said through grit teeth as he clenched his fists once more, "I can't. I can't do anything to him! He's too powerful! Even with the Eva, I couldn't do anything to him. And anything I could do to him would just put you and Asuka in danger."

"But Shinji…" Rei said as she gently shook her head no, "You are not well. Asuka is not well. We cannot travel. It would not be safe."

"I… I know. I know that. ...We'll wait until Asuka is healed. We need to prepare anyways. I'll need to save some money. And… I'll also have to plan out where to go."

"I… I see," Rei sniffled.

"This… isn't my first time running away, Rei. I'll need to be more careful with you and Asuka with me. But, I think we can do it. Do you have anywhere you'd want to go? How often have you left Tokyo-3?"

"Not often," Rei sniffled again as she stood up, "I have not been permitted to leave very regularly. I do not know anything about the places beyond Tokyo-3."

"Then-" Shinji tried to say before coughing as he too stood up, "Then we'll turn it into an adventure! We'll find a new place to live."

"Shinji… is this… really a good idea?" Rei asked as she timidly rubbed her arm and gazed at the floor.

"...Do you want to stay here?" Shinji quietly asked the girl.

"I… I… I don't know!" Rei cried and shook her head no before she buried her face in Shinji's chest.

Shinji gently wrapped his arms around the girl and hugged her. Even if she wouldn't give voice to it, Shinji knew that the girl was torn between her duty and her love. He knew she was afraid of disappointing Gendo. But, Shinji also felt that, if Rei stayed here, it would likely only cause her pain.

"Listen, Rei. I know you're scared," Shinji said as he pushed the girl out of the hug so he could look her in the eyes, "But father has a way of piloting the Evas without us. That's what he used to hurt Asuka. He was able to pilot Unit-01 without me with some… I don't know. Some system."

"I heard," Rei said as she wiped away a few more tears, "Doctor Akagi said it was called the dummy system. She said it was an artificial intelligence."

"Great," Shinji said as he tried to give Rei a weak smile, "See? Father doesn't need us here. We can go! We're completely free to go! ...So, you'll come with me, right?"

Rei sniffled again and nodded her head.

"Good… I promise I'll keep you safe Rei. Don't tell anyone. I don't want them to try to stop us. Don't even tell Misato."

Rei nodded yet again.

"Shinji?" Rei asked.

"Yes?"

"Will you stay here while I get Doctor Akagi? I want her to make sure you're okay."

"Of course, Rei," Shinji sighed contentedly.

"Sit," Rei said as she pointed at a vacant chair in Asuka's hospital room.

Shinji smiled and did as the girl demanded.

Letting himself fall into the chair, he hadn't realized just how much his legs where paining him and he felt immense relief upon sitting down. Rei then leaned over him and kissed his forehead, which caused him to unwittingly blush.

"Please stay here… I already watched over Asuka. Now it is your turn," Rei said, her voice finally starting to lighten up, "Make sure she does not leave. Toji visited her earlier and said she had to stay here unless she was with someone."

"I will," Shinji said, trying his best to smile.

Rei kissed him on the forehead once more before then scampering over to the door. However, before she left she turned around and looked at Shinji once more.

"Also, Shinji. You should text Toji and Kensuke back. They have been worried about you," Rei said before then disappearing out the door.

"Ugh!?" Shinji gasped before reaching into his pocket to grab his phone.

Luckily, upon pressing the power button, it turned on. Surprisingly, it hadn't been confiscated or even that badly damaged. Though, that was probably because he'd fortunately had it on silent before being taken away and the torturers didn't seem to be the most well drilled on security. Still, he was almost surprised it worked. He was thankful it did though. The last thing he needed right now was to buy a new phone right before needing to save money for his great escape.

He saw that, just as Rei has said, he had almost a dozen messages from Toji and Kensuke both.

He smiled before texting, "I'm fine, Toji. Thanks for your concern. And thanks for taking care of Rei and Asuka."

/

A few minutes later, somewhere in the halls of NERV Hospital…

"Yes, Ikari! I am aware! I'm working on it. But I'm still dealing with the fallout from yesterday," Ritsuko said into her phone.

"Well, hurry up. Whatever is causing the dummy system to fail to activate in the Eva's needs to be fixed. And it needs to be done before the next angel arrives. It wouldn't be as urgent if it were only Unit-01. But it's all three of them now and it needs to be rectified," the man said before hanging up on the woman.

"Damn it! I'm only one woman, you bastard," Ritsuko hissed under her breath.

"Doctor Akagi?" a soft voice called out.

Ritsuko looked up from her phone only to see Rei standing before her.

"Oh, Rei! Are you here to visit Pilot Sohryu? I was just stopping by to check on her myself," Ritsuko said, trying to act like nothing was wrong.

"Mmm… Actually, I wanted you to check on Shinji," Rei said causing Ritsuko's eyes to widen in shock.

Despite Ritsuko knowing that Shinji had been brought down to the torture cells below NERV, she had chosen to ignore the boys screams when she'd heard him screaming above Shikinami's room last night. While she obviously felt bad for him, there wasn't much she could do about it without drawing the ire and wrath of Commander Ikari. And so, as was often required of her, she ignored the shady happenings at NERV and resolved to let Shinji suffer.

But now, Rei was asking her to check on him. Surely, Rei knew that there wasn't anything to do. And it's not like she could actually expect Ritsuko to just walk into the holding cells.

"He is… Um…" Rei continued, "He is waiting in Asuka's room. He is injured."

'So… they let him out then…' Ritsuko realized.

"Of course, Rei. Let's go."

/

A few minutes later, at Asuka's hospital room in NERV Hospital…

"He's in here," Shinji heard Rei say before she walked through the door with Doctor Akagi.

Though, as Ritsuko walked in, she gasped seeing Shinji. The boy's face was swollen and he had cuts and bruises all over his cheeks. The boys hands were trembling from the burns on his palms. And, though that was all bad enough, Ritsuko was sure there were more injuries under his clothes.

"Jesus Christ…" Ritsuko whispered.

Shinji tiredly looked up at Ritsuko.

"Doctor Akagi! Please! He needs help!" Rei said, snapping Ritsuko out of her stupor.

"Of- Of course," Ritsuko said.

"I'm fine, Rei. Really," Shinji said.

"No, Rei's right, Shinji. This looks pretty awful. What the hell happened to you?" Ritsuko asked, though she already had a pretty good idea considering what she'd heard earlier.

"I… got in a fight with some agents from the security team when they tried to detain me," Shinji lied.

"I… I see," Ritsuko said as she furrowed her brow, knowing damn well the boy was lying to her, but going along with his charade to protect both her and his safety.

She walked up to Shinji before examining him.

"Well, you could use some bandages for your face at least. And an ice pack. I'll also get some anti-inflammatory drugs as well," Ritsuko said before grabbing Shinji's arm and examining his hand, "You'll probably need bandages for your palms too. These burns could get infected."

Ritsuko then glanced at Rei.

"Rei, do you think you'd be able to change his bandages at home if I gave you some?" the doctor asked.

"Yes ma'am," Rei confirmed quietly.

"Shinji, take your shirt off," Ritsuko said turning back to the boy.

"Wh- what!? Why!?" Shinji asked, somewhat embarrassed about showing his body to the woman.

"Because I said so." Ritsuko answered.

Shinji sighed before unbuttoning his shirt to reveal even more dark red and black bruises all over his chest.

"Jesus Christ," Ritsuko whispered again.

"It… looks worse than it is," Shinji said.

"I dunno, Mister Ikari. This looks pretty bad. These bruises look severe enough that you could have broken ribs or internal bleeding aside from just the bruises. Have you been coughing up any blood?"

"Yeah. But only from the cuts in my mouth," Shinji said.

"Well, at least you seem alert," Ritsuko said before putting her hand to Shinji's forehead, "And your skin doesn't feel cold. In fact, you actually feel like you might have a slight fever."

"I'm fine…" Shinji again confirmed.

"Rei, would you shut the door?" Ritsuko said to the girl.

"Yes, ma'am," Rei sniffled again before doing as she was asked.

Shinji looked at the girl to see she was crying yet again, which somewhat made him feel guilty.

"And you, Mister Ikari. Take off your pants," Ritsuko ordered.

"What!? But, is that really necessary!?"

"Stop it, Shinji," Ritsuko said, "Do as I say. I already know what your body looks like. I've taken anatomy classes. And thanks to Rei's slip up in my office the other day, I know you've had sexual intercourse with both of the other girls in this room. So quit being squeamish and do as I say."

"What! That- That's not true at all!" Shinji said rather vigorously despite his exhausted state.

Ritsuko wasn't buying it though and she gave him a look that told him to stop screwing around.

"Agh, fine!" Shinji growled before finally relenting.

Shinji groaned as he tried to stand up from the chair. The bones in his legs felt weak and brittle. He felt like if he'd weighed any more, they would have snapped under the pressure of the rest of his body.

Shinji then grit his teeth and groaned yet again as he unfastened his belt before letting his pants fall to the ground, leaving him only in his boxers. Once more Ritsuko's eyes widened in shock. There were, as expected, dark bloody bruises all over the boys legs, especially just above his knees.

"How did you walk here? How in the hell…" Ritsuko said before trailing off as she looked at the clotted blood all around Shinji's knees, "How can you even stand?"

"I just… do," was all Shinji could say.

"Okay, that at least looks like you could have several stress fractures in your legs if not partial fractures."

"It's not broken though!"

"No, Shinji. A partial fracture would still be a break. Listen. Put your pants back on and sit down. I'm going to have someone come in and get an x-ray done on you."

"N- No! Doctor Akagi, I'm fine!" Shinji said as he hurriedly pulled his pants back up.

"Sh- Shinji…" a weak voice whimpered from the direction of Asuka's bed.

Everyone looked over in Asuka's direction to find she was awake and had tears in her eye.

"What did they do to you, Shinji?" Asuka cried as she put her hand over her mouth.

"Asuka! Asuka!" Shinji shouted as he stumbled over to her bed.

"Sit down, Shinji!" Ritsuko snapped at the boy.

"N- No!" Shinji gasped as he finally reached Asuka's bedside and threw his arms around the girl's shoulders.

The girl gently put her arm around his neck as well, carefully pulling him deeper into the embrace as she continued to cry. Ritsuko felt the gentlest wisp of air brush past her as Rei also ran to the bed, eager to comfort the two. Ritsuko's expression softened some seeing all of them together. Even if her best judgment was to tell Shinji to stop pushing himself, she just didn't have the heart to separate them after the ordeal they'd all been through.

"You three stay here. I'm going to go get someone to get this x-ray done. Please, don't go anywhere," Ritsuko sighed before leaving the room.

Asuka put her hand on Shinji's chest through his still unbuttoned shirt, feeling the bruises and blood on him.

"Shinji, what happened to you?" Asuka sniffled again.

"I'll tell you later, Asuka," Shinji said as he pulled out of the hug and brushed his fingers over her cheeks.

He then leaned over and gave Asuka a quick kiss on her lips before Rei also squeezed her way into the hug and also kissed Asuka.

"Listen, Asuka. There's something I have to tell you before Doctor Akagi gets back. But, first, how much do you remember?" Shinji asked.

"Uh… its…. slowly been coming back to me over the day," Asuka said as she wiped her tears, "I remember… Um… I remember that… They ordered you to fight Unit-02 because the angel possessed it. And… I remember you wouldn't. And then I told you to kill me. And you still wouldn't do it."

"Asuka…" Shinji said before biting his lip.

"But… then, I remember, I felt Unit-02 being thrown around. And you said you weren't doing it. And I remember-" Asuka tried to say before she suddenly tightly shut her eyes and broke down, silently sobbing into her arm.

"Asuka…" Shinji said, trying not to cry as he stroked her hair.

"Asuka…" Rei also said as she gently held Asuka's free hand.

"I remember," Asuka tried to say again, "I remember saying I wanted to hear your voice before I died."

The girl put her hand across her face and began crying into it again, trying to keep her sobs quiet.

Shinji pulled the girl into his embrace again and gently stroked her hair as a few tears fell from his eyes and onto Asuka's shoulder. Rei herself also rested her head on Asuka's free hand and cried into her wrist.

"Its okay, Asuka. We're here. We're all here," Shinji choked out quietly.

"That's really all I remember," Asuka hysterically gasped, trying to catch her breath from crying so hard, "I just remember being scared. I thought I was going to die. I thought I was never going to see you again. When I woke up awhile ago, I thought I was dead. I thought I was in heaven and I'd left you behind."

"Asuka," Shinji said as he once more pulled out of the hug and put his hand under the girl's chin as she continued to cry, "My father did this to you. And I am so sorry."

Shinji took a moment and closed his eyes as well while gritting his teeth.

"Rei and I," Shinji continued, "we've decided we're running away. We were going to wait until you'd healed some because we thought you'd want to come with us. So… will you? Will you come with us?"

Asuka's eye widened some as she tearfully stared at Shinji.

"Run…. Run away? Where? Who'll pilot the Evas?"

"Don't worry about that! I said my father did this to you, Asuka. He had some way of controlling the Eva without me," Shinji said, "Rei said it was called the dummy system."

Asuka looked at Rei who was tiredly weeping on her hand.

"We can go," Rei weakly said as she nodded.

"You don't have to be an Eva pilot anymore, Asuka," Shinji said pleadingly, "And I won't let my father hurt you anymore. So please say you'll come with us! We can start a new life somewhere far away from here where he can't hurt you! He's already done enough to me and Rei! He's taken enough from you, Asuka."

Asuka frowned before looking down at her bed sheets.

"You said your father did this, Shinji?" Asuka asked, suddenly sounding spiteful.

"He did," Shinji said, gently holding Asuka's shoulder.

"Yeah… Yeah, then. I'll go with you," Asuka said.

The girl then reached back behind her head before unclasping her right neural connector from her hair and throwing it onto the hospital table next to her bed. She then reached around to the other one and unclasped it as well before also throwing it onto the table.

"Your father's a real asshole, Shinji," Asuka spat.

"I know, Asuka," Shinji sighed, "Just try to take it easy. We'll go home in a little bit."

"No," Asuka said, "We'll go home when Doctor Akagi says it's safe for you to. She said she's gonna go get some x-ray guy to look at you right? We'll stay here until then."

Shinji gave the girl a defeated smile and said, "Whatever you say, Asuka."

The door then opened and Ritsuko came in with a man who had a sharp and professional face and a handsome dark haircut. In front of him was a wheelchair that he'd seemingly brought with him.

"Shinji, get in the wheelchair," Ritsuko said, looking at the boy expectantly.

"I can walk by myself!" Shinji said defiantly.

"Shinji, it's not an entry plug. Get into the wheelchair. I won't ask you again," Ritsuko said, starting to sound a little peeved.

Shinji finally relented and slowly limped over to the wheelchair before straining himself as he sat down.

"Rei, would you go with him?" Ritsuko asked the blue haired girl, "Someone needs to keep an eye on him so he doesn't do something reckless."

"Yes, ma'am," Rei said standing next to the man and waiting to follow where he led.

"Don't worry, Master Ikari. We'll get those legs looked at and you'll be outta here in no time if everything's okay. So just try to go with the flow, alright?" the man said, "I'll promise to try to make sure the ride is a smooth one."

"Heheh, thanks," Shinji nervously chuckled as the man wheeled him out of the room.

After the man, Shinji, and Rei had left, Ritsuko shut the door behind them before looking at Asuka.

"So, how're you feeling?" she asked.

"Uh…. Better. My head still hurts pretty bad and it feels kinda heavy on one side. It… won't stop throbbing. And I still don't remember everything that happened. It all just cuts off at some point. I can't remember any further. I've been trying to remember all day but all I can remember is the sound of metal and then… nothing."

"But, you're lucid now, right? No more bouts of confusion or wondering where you are? You know I'm Doctor Akagi and that you're in the hospital."

"Yeah…"

Ritsuko sighed before walking to Asuka's bed and taking a seat in one of the empty chairs next to her.

"Listen, Asuka… There's something I need to tell you… about your eye."

/

-The Things We Carry Forward-

/

:The United States

:Nevada

:NERV-02

Meanwhile, on the NERV-02 airfield in Nevada...

Change, that great inexorable wave, was upon them.

"I will miss you, papito," Ahni said as she nuzzled her face into her father's shirt.

The man sighed as he put his hand behind the girl's head and pulled her closer to him.

The world had changed once before and it would change once again.

"Make sure to be careful while you're driving, Amelia," the girl's father said as he put his hand on top of her head, "You're still pretty new at it. And, I don't know what the roads are like in Japan. But it probably won't be like driving in America. And driving in the city won't be like driving out here in the desert."

Amelia tried to smile before signing to her father, "It's okay, father. I think I'll manage. And Ahni will check the GPS while I'm driving."

Amelia's father let out a sigh before hugging his daughter.

In time, great deeds would go down in history.

Ahni's father then knelt down in front of her before signing to her, "Make sure to be aware of your surroundings. Always remember to keep your eyes open and be alert. And don't wear your sunglasses at night. You need to be able to see."

"I'll try, daddy," Ahni said with a slight blush.

The righteous and the wicked would be remembered for their virtue and their cruelty while the mediocre would be swept away with the tide of time to be forgotten now and forevermore.

"And Ahni," the girl's father added, "Make sure to help Amelia and keep an eye on her. She has a hard time asking for help."

"I will, dad. I always keep an eye on her," Ahni swore.

"And Amelia, make sure to watch over Ahni. She sometimes has trouble taking in everything going on around her. So, you'll need to watch out for her and for yourself," Amelia's father said to the girl.

"Don't worry, father. I will protect her," Amelia signed to her father.

"Hey!" a technician called out to the girls and their fathers, "We're gonna be taxiing pretty soon here. The truck and everything else is all loaded up."

Amelia looked over her shoulder at the airfield technician before then turning to Ahni and poking her in the cheek.

"We're gonna have to go soon," Amelia signed to the girl.

Ahni nodded solemnly before once more hugging her father and saying, "Goodbye, daddy. Make sure to take care of the farm while I'm gone. The goats won't sell themselves."

"I will, darling," Ahni's father said with a sigh, despite the girl not being able to hear him.

"Goodbye, dad," Amelia signed, "When I get back, maybe we can go on a road trip and visit some of the observatoriums. And we can go fishing! Or hiking!"

"We'll travel everywhere once you get back. I promise I'll take a few weeks off from work at least," Amelia's father said as he once more hugged the girl.

Each of the small families stayed hugging each other for a few more moments, desperately trying to savor the last of their time together for the foreseeable future. Because, after they separated, their memories would be all they'd have to carry them for quite awhile.

Eventually, the girls reluctantly pulled out of their hugs and looked at each other before taking each other by their hands and departing for their flight.

To grab hold of history, to pen the words of a future yet unwritten, they would be forced to perform great deeds.

The girls turned around one more time and waved to their fathers and the two men waved back before finally letting their arms fall to their sides.

"I know you're worried, Donovan," Amelia's father said to the other man as they both watched the girls walk away.

The man, Donovan, shook his head.

"She's all I have... I feel wrong sending her away," Ahni's father said.

"I know… By God, I know."

To direct change, great deeds would be asked of mighty people, far and wide.

/

:Japan

:Kanagawa Prefecture

:Tokyo-3

:NERV HQ

Meanwhile, in Asuka Shikinami's conditioning room, somewhere in the depths of NERV HQ…

Change.

Asuka sat, staring at the walls of her world. Ritsuko had yet to bring her any form of entertainment and she was direly waiting for the woman to bring her a DVD to help alleviate the torturous monotony of spending her whole life in a cage like some kind of pet that wasn't allowed to see the light of day.

Even when the world seemed to stand still in the darkness of a clouded night, it never ceased.

But the woman had claimed she was busy. So was everyone it seemed. Asuka couldn't imagine what that was like. To be busy? Busy with what? Asuka had never been busy. While she wanted something to occupy her time, Ritsuko only ever made it sound like she wanted nothing more than to free up her time.

And so, all Asuka could do was sit there.

Asuka looked up at the ceiling of her room.

"The screaming… It stopped."

For in darkness blooms the spider lily and the sun would rise and illuminate the change that had been wrought by it in the night.

"I wonder… Did they kill him? Or did someone save him?"

Asuka found her eyes tearing up before she pulled her legs into her chest and rested her head in the gap between her knees.

And as the day broke, they would gather to decide where they would set their heels upon next.

/

:Japan

:Kanagawa Prefecture

:Tokyo-3

:NERV HQ

Meanwhile, in an isolation cell deep below NERV HQ...

Change.

A man with black leather gloves opened the door to a dark room and stepped inside. In the room waited another man, also wearing gloves, though his were white.

"You… uh… you called for me, Commander Ikari?" the man asked nervously.

To those who marched ever forward, change was not so imposing.

"I did. There was something I wanted to speak with you about…" Gendo said without elaboration.

The man let the door close behind him before continuing further into the room.

"You're lucky you caught me when you did," the man chuckled nervously, "I was just about to go home. I haven't slept in almost a day."

"Rest assured, this will not take long and you will be given ample time to recuperate after," Gendo said before gesturing to an empty seat.

Fearing the memories of the lost and seeking to quicken change, they would forge ahead undaunted even as their feet grew tired and their eyes weary.

"Sit," Gendo said blandly.

"Uh… if you insist, Sir," the man said before uncomfortably sitting in the chair, his back rigid and his arms tense.

"Uh… what's this all about, Sir?" the man asked after Gendo didn't say anything.

Gendo exhaled before reaching into the jacket of his suit and pulling out a gun before pointing it at the man's head.

"Woah!" the man shouted, "WAIT! WAIT! IS THIS ABOUT AYANA-"

The man didn't get the chance to finish asking his question before Gendo pulled the trigger on his gun. With the sound of thunder, the back of the man's head erupted outwards before spraying the walls and floor with what used to be contained inside his skull.

"The world has no need of monsters after they have served their purpose. They must be put down before they can cause more devastation than they are allowed," Gendo said as he placed his gun back inside his jacket.

But those who sought change at the cost of all else often payed no mind to those upon whom they tread beneath them along the way and would soon find themselves wondering whether the change they had desired was worth it at all.

/

:Japan

:Kanagawa Prefecture

:Tokyo-3

:South-West New Jiyugaoka

:The Apartment Parking Lot of The Katsuragi Residence

Change.

It was night time now. Throughout the past day, Shinji had found it difficult to tell exactly how much time had passed since he'd been detained. But, apparently, it had only been about a day according to everyone. Much to his relief, Ritsuko had allowed him and Asuka to return home with Rei so long as they both took it easy. Despite the pain, on his part, Shinji had suffered nothing more than a few hairline stress fractures in his legs and some bruising over the rest of his body.

The world was changing.

He was in immense pain from walking back to Misato's apartment, but his life was not in danger for the moment.

He figured Ritsuko would probably have been upset to know that, aside from the train ride, he'd walked home. But, he was quite adamant about it. And at last, the end was in sight as he, Asuka, and Rei could finally see the stairwell leading up to Misato's apartment.

Lives were changing.

Asuka sighed and looked up at the sky with what would now turn out to be her only good eye. The moon shone brightly above with a cold light that gave her a chill despite the warm air. Ritsuko had told her everything that had happened but was still trying to come to terms with it all. Despite her having her face bandaged, she hadn't actually expected that she had lost her eye until Ritsuko had told her about an hour ago. She'd been in too much of a daze throughout the day and couldn't remember exactly what had happened directly before Unit-01 had crushed her entry plug. She had felt something off in her eye. But to think it was actually gone was something she hadn't considered despite the pain. And that was to say nothing of the entity that now resided in her.

"Rei, do you still have my neural connectors?" Asuka moaned as she tiredly trudged her feet across the parking lot.

"Mmmhmm," Rei confirmed as she looked down into a paper bag she was carrying that was full of medicine for Asuka and Shinji.

Rei looked back at Asuka. It was unusual seeing the girl without the little red clips in her hair. And the girl looked much more homely now that she was bandaged and didn't wear them. She looked utterly defeated.

Shinji as well looked completely worn out. Though, somehow, despite everything that had happened, he still looked as though he had some fight left in him.

"Don't worry, Asuka. We're almost there," Shinji said to the girl.

"You're telling me not to worry? You're the one with the broken legs," Asuka groaned.

"They're not that broken!" Shinji retorted.

"They're broken, Shinji. They may not be broken completely in half. But they are broken. You heard doctor Akagi," Asuka sighed, "And you better listen to her too. Don't make Rei worry about you. I'm starting to regret actually letting you walk home. Me and her can cook for the next few days. You need to rest if we're actually running away."

"I'm fine, Asuka. And I wanted to surprise Misato."

"Shinji, please." Rei wined.

Like his father, Shinji found it hard to say no to Rei.

"I'm fine," Shinji asserted again, "...but I'll try to take it easy."

Finally, they had all arrived at the foot of the stairwell leading up to Misato's apartment.

Loves would blossom and wilt and ere the season parted, be reborn again.

"I… I will carry you!" Rei said as she saw Shinji looking up the stairwell.

"No, Rei," Shinji said to the girl, "That would just be more likely to hurt both of us. We'll do it like we always do. Together."

Asuka ducked her head under Shinji's arm before hoisting his arm up around her neck.

"Huh!?" Shinji questioned as he felt the girl help prop him up.

"We'll do it together… But we're still supporting you," Asuka said.

Shinji then felt Rei also lift him up as she put Shinji's other arm over her shoulders as well.

"Ahh," Shinji sighed, "Okay."

All together, each of them taking synchronized steps, they slowly made their way up the stairwell, being careful not to trip over each other. Even with the girl's help, Shinji could still feel an aching deep inside of the bones of his legs and they felt like they could collapse out from under him at any moment.

It took several minutes longer than usual for the three of them to climb the stairs. But, eventually, they made it up to the fifth floor. Still, it was slow going walking the last dozen paces or so of the way to Misato's apartment.

Hate would be fostered and later forgotten as the flow of time made the pain dull and smooth as a rock in the riverbed.

Upon nearing the door, Rei slipped out from under Shinji's arm so she could open it before the boy had arrived. And already, the boy could hear Misato's frantic voice calling out as she heard the door open.

"Rei!? Rei!? Is that you!? Are you back!?" Misato could be heard shouting down the foyer.

"I am," Rei gently called.

"Where have you been!?" Shinji could still hear Misato shouting.

Finally, Shinji and Asuka stood just outside the door and from inside, Rei looked back at them with a smile.

"I… was bringing home a surprise," Rei said, which caused both Shinji and Asuka to smile.

"A surprise?! What do you mean?" Misato said before finally seeing Asuka and Shinji tiredly step through the threshold and into the foyer.

Misato gasped.

Change was everlasting unlike everything it touched.

"SHINJI! ASUKA!" Misato cried as she ran up to them and threw her arms around both of them, "Shinji, where have you been!? What happened to you!? Where did you get these bruises? Asuka, shouldn't you still be in the hospital."

"I'll explain later, Misato. I… I need to sleep," Shinji said.

"Doctor Akagi… said I could come home as long as I took it easy. She said the same to Shinji," Asuka panted.

Rei closed the door behind them before once more helping to hold Shinji up as the three of them slowly waded through the kitchen and living room, trying to reach Shinji's bed.

"Are… Are you sure you're really okay? You look awful! How did you get these welts and bruises, Shinji?" Misato questioned as she trailed close behind them.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing serious. I just need to rest for now…" Shinji said as he, Asuka, and Rei walked down the short hallway to his room.

Rei once more disappeared out from under Shinji before sliding the door to his room open.

"Thanks, Rei," Shinji exhaled.

"Yeah, thanks," Asuka also said.

Shinji and Asuka then walked into the room and Shinji almost fell face first onto his futon after removing his arm from around Asuka.

"Agh! Shinji, oh hell. Doctor Akagi said you had to be careful," Asuka scolded the boy for so carelessly collapsing onto the bed.

Shinji didn't seem to hear the girl though as he rested limply on the mattress.

Asuka kneeled onto the floor next to the bed a little more carefully than Shinji. But, after she climbed onto the mattress, she swayed back and forth a few times before she too let herself fall into one of Shinji's waiting arms.

'The poor things,' Misato thought to herself as she watched the two children almost instantly pass out, 'They're so tired, they aren't even hiding the fact they're sleeping together.'

The world was on the cusp of change and great deeds would be needed in the days to come.

Rei gazed at her two sleeping lovers before looking back at Misato and giving her a tired smile.

"I will watch them, Colonel Katsuragi. You may go to bed," Rei said.

"Rei… is everything really okay?" Misato asked, obviously still worrying about her adopted children's injuries.

Rei glanced to her side in thought before looking back at Misato and smiling once more.

"Yes. For now, I believe so."

Misato closed her eyes and sighed.

"Okay… Let me know if you need anything… Even though I'm worried… its good to have them back."

"Yes. It is," Rei said, "Goodnight, Miss Katsuragi."

"Yeah… Goodnight, Rei."

And with that, Rei slowly began to slide the door to their room shut as Misato presumably headed back to the living room. Rei then turned back around and once more looked at Shinji and Asuka.

They were out cold. Asuka herself was probably still drowsy from her painkillers and other medication while Shinji just plain out hadn't gotten much sleep over the last day. Rei herself then yawned before dropping the bag of medicine she was carrying onto the floor. Even if she hadn't been through the same ordeals Shinji and Asuka had, crying for almost the entire day had still left her tired and she soon found herself making her way to the futon as well.

Great deeds required great strength to enact however.

Rei stepped over to the other side of the futon on the opposite side of Shinji from Asuka. And, before long, she had snuggled into Shinji's other arm before pulling the covers about up to her cheeks, just below her nose. From under the covers, she then reached across Shinji's chest, putting her hand on Asuka's arm. Her skin was soft and warm and full of life. Rei then pulled her hand back and rested it on Shinji's chest, feeling his lungs fill his body with air.

She'd come so close to loosing both of them. She almost couldn't bear to think about it. And so she didn't. Instead, she sighed before finally closing her eyes and letting sleep take her.

And strength would be bought at a heavy price.


*Eva credits roll and Fly Me to the Moon plays*

.

"All's well that ends well, right? Hey everyone, Misato here with the chapter preview!

In the next chapter, Shinji directly disregards Ritsuko's advice and him and Rei end up going on a surprise day trip to try to cheer Asuka up after loosing her eye. Aww, how selfless. He even skips school to do it. The children all enjoy their outing, and maybe things will even get a little lewd. Or maybe it won't escalate any further than the girls suggestively eating a few ice cream popsicles to beat the heat! Either way, they all end up quite tired and arrive home late. But, upon returning home, they suddenly find their fate intermingled with a few new arrivals waiting on the doorstep. What awaits in the future of Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love? Find out next chapter in The Gear of Change.

And uh... Eating ice cream counts as fan service, right? Right!? Ah, to hell with it! I might as well spill the beans! There is another sex scene next chapter! So look forward to it, alright!"