A/N: And here's the conclusion to the last 2 drabbles.
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist doesn't belong to me.
Drabble 7: Trust Me, Shooting Leads to Good Things
Unable to think of a more sophisticated way, Greed and Riza resorted to playing rock-paper-scissors to decide on what restaurant to visit. Ms. Hawkeye won, and she led the Homunculus to a place that was in between being Dante-mansion extravagant and Devil's Nest-drab; in other words, perfect. The menu was...well, Greed wouldn't kid himself with judgements, he never discriminated food. Nor did he ever notice people's amazement at his feasting habits, thus Riza's wide eyes went quite unnoticed as he began slurping down the massive bowl of noodles. If he had noticed, the Homunculus might've realized how remarkable it was for Riza to have only gawked for approximately 3 seconds, then start on her own dinner; the woman had unknowingly broken a new record.
Even more amazingly, their decent conversation continued amid Greed's gorging; he finally learned that Riza worked with the military, and instinctively he hoped she'd be careful, and not get sucked into some hellish experiment like Martel, Dorchet, and Roah had been; she asked more about his bar, and teased him a bit about his current clients in Central, due to his mystery about them; they talked about a bunch of things, and ended up consuming a fair number of drinks.
In the end, Greed finally noticed the stalking presence behind them as they were returning to Riza's apartment. A full second later, the second coin dropped in, and the Homunculus smiled quietly to himself as he prepared the prank. Knowing full well that Riza's man would see quite clearly from his vantage point, Greed smoothly slipped his arm around the woman's waist, and began waiting for the gun...
CLICK! He actually hadn't expected Riza to keep the embrace intact while aiming her gun toward him; the metallic muzzle pressed against his cheek, a no-nonsense expression on Ms. Hawkeye's face, the Homunculus began with, "Riz, I know I'm breaking one of your restrictions, but it's for a good joke--er, cause. Your man's here..." That no-nonsense expression still on her face, the woman removed the gun from Greed's face; then, with absolutely no warning, she gave him a small, yet warm peck on the cheek, and to his chagrin, he blushed. Then came the shot.
"DAMN IT RIZA, YOU ALMOST GOT MY HEAD!" Greed looked a little disturbed as he observed the disheleved brunette, who had plopped down onto the cement sidewalk, a still smoking hole a couple feet above his head.
"Ah, Riz, I'm not sure shooting at him's the answer, talking to him would be better--"
"Oh, I'll talk to him alright, but only after I get a couple of more shots in." Another resounding click. The blue-clad brunette unconsciously flinched.
"...Dude, I'd start running now." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! "Gah, Riza, can't we skip the shooting--" BANG! BANG! "SHIT!" BANG! "Mustang, running away just makes things worse."
The chase was on, but not before Hawkeye momentarily paused, shouting to Greed, "Next time you're in Central, look me up!" The Homunculus consented with a simple cheerful wave, and a mouthed "Good luck." Greed listened to the resounding curse words and shots as if they were parade music for a little while longer, before heading back to his hotel. On the way, he amused himself with rather dirty thoughts of the trigger-happy Riza and her Mustang...
&&&&&&&&&
Greed would've have much appreciated seeing the real couple in action.
In Hawkeye's apartment, the rising sun glinting through her window, the blonde muttered in Roy's arms how lucky he was to have shooting first, considering what came after. Faintly, he gave a genuinely warm smile, and tucked Riza more comfortably into the covers, which he soon dove under again...
A/N: Well, so ends the Greed/Riza/Roy trilogy; hope you all enjoyed that little romantic comedy. Truly, the whole thing was inspired by a picture I recently saw in that "Art of Fullmetal Alchemist" book at a Borders store, (although the book really was only for the manga, and some of the videogames), in which Greed's hugging Riza and she has a gun "pressed against his cheek, a no-nonsense expression on Ms. Hawkeye's face". I had laughed quietly in my mind upon seeing that pic. (Although, with that pic, it's like a small scene within a bunch of other small scenes, so you'd have to look carefully.)
