Translation by Jessinthedungeons.
Chapter 25 - Pleasure, Viktor
It was one o'clock in the morning when we returned to my house. Severus borrowed his to Narcissa, and Andromeda had offered to stay with her while we decided on everything else. He could have stayed at Hogwarts, we all have rooms reserved for us there. But just as it was natural to hug by Minerva's bedside in the hospital. It was natural for us to just be together here.
— You will stay with me from now on. — I stated when I saw him lie down with a slight stiffness in his back and nest in my pillow.
— Alright. — He whispered when I handed him a bottle of soothing potion. — And just so you know, I wouldn't leave. — He concluded.
I smiled lightly, before stretching my arm over the bed to grab his hand.
— I know. You heard me when I promised that whatever we do, we will do together.
— Like good soldiers. — He said.
I looked away from him for a moment to avoid showing that this was not what I wanted it to mean, and I signaled that he lay on his stomach. Severus breathed in at length before removing his shirt and hugging himself with my pillow.
— Do you want to talk about it? — I asked, before dipping my fingers into the jar of ointment and starting to spread over the injuries on his back.
It took a while for him to respond.
— No. — Finally said in a voice that came out muffled because of the position of his mouth, buried in the pillowcase.
— Is the pain at a very high level? — It was not a sweet question, but a command of my profession. Being a healer made me too clinical at times.
— Yes. — He let go, shuddering as my fingers passed into the deepest wound.
— I know Minerva is important to you. — I spoke softly. — But you shouldn't have gone to the hospital in those conditions. If you had warned me, I would have found a way to put your most serious wounds in ecstasy long enough for you to go see her. They would not have reopened and left you on this state.
Severus did not answer. His breathing still wavered and I knew that the soothing potion had not yet had the full effect. I finished applying the ointment on his back, got up to wash my hands and picked up the jars of pain relief potion and dreamless sleep from my stock in the bathroom.
He had his eyes closed when I returned to the room. I knelt next to him with the vials of the potions in one hand and a thin towel with a refreshing spell applied over it in the other. Severus rose on one of his elbows to drink the liquids, then returned to his prone position and I covered his back with the icy fabric.
— You will stop being the person who does not ask for help and does everything yourself, or it will destroy you. You'll recognize the signs that you need support and talk to me before it's too late. — It was not an affirmative, but a command. — You'll never make your injuries look like nothing again, Severus. And do not touch the elemental magic until you have rested enough. Got it?
He shook his head, nodding in agreement. I sat in the armchair next to the bed to read a little and reapply the cooling spells on the fabric on his back every fifteen minutes. I reapplied the spell three more times, until at last his breathing stabilized and Severus finally slept.
I removed the thin towel from his back and covered him to the waist with the blanket. I blacked out the lamp before joining him under the covers, and even plunged into the induced sleep of the potion, Severus pulled me gently towards himself and my back snuggled into his chest. I realized that this position could become my favorite way to fall asleep.
I learned two days later that Hogwarts still recognized him as headmaster, as Severus apparated us directly to Minerva's office. With the headmistress gone, he needed to take over the team's training, even though he was still recovering.
We walked down the spiral staircase and into the corridors below as I recited how amazing it was that the magic of the school did not remove him from the office. Severus only listened and kept his face impassive. I kept questioning him about all the benefits he had from having access to the castle as a headmaster, until he got angry and pulled me against him asking what needed to be done to get me to shut up.
My hand was on his chest, and I was about to say that only if he kissed me and left me breathless would that be possible, when a cough in front of us scared us. Severus drove me away from him immediately.
— I know it's not my place to say anything... — Cho said. — But I thought the age difference between you guys would be a hindrance, but seeing you next to each other makes perfect sense. You two together get fucking pretty.
I smiled at Cho, but before I answered him, someone else turned the hall and Viktor gave me a sincere smile. I didn't miss the second step Severus took moving further away from me, or the face he made when he did it. His forehead was wrinkled, and he gave me a sideways look that was almost disgusted.
What the hell? My heart did not fail to notice how horrible his last two actions made me feel. Okay, then. Apparently, that moment in the infirmary with Minerva, where he allowed himself to be hugged in public by me, was a rare case. I felt the smile I gave Cho wither on my face for a second, before putting a bigger one on top of it and smiling at her and Viktor again. I looked back at Severus for a second, still trying to decipher why he was being weird.
— Thanks for coming, Viktor. — I spoke with an animation somewhat suspended by disappointment with Severus.
I held the smile on my face as I waited for him to hug me. He always greeted me like that. Viktor did not keep me waiting and wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a gentle embrace.
—It was a pleasure to come see you, Hermionini. — He pushed me away and smiled again, staring me in the eye. — Always is.
— Thanks. I know muggle ways of travel can be a bit stressful. — I looked at my watch and grimaced. — We really need to talk, and I can't be late for my shift at the hospital.
I took another step back and smiled at the two young men, before turning my attention to Severus, who was standing with his arms folded on his chest and stamping an angry look as he watched us.
What the hell does he have to be angry about? I was the one who should be angry at his inconsistency. Severus knows that Cho is one of my closest friends, but he didn't allow himself to be seen next to me in front of her? I disregarded that and ignored his expression.
— I won't stay for practice. I need to reunite with Viktor, and then I want to go to the hospital to monitor Minerva when she awakens from the effects of the sleep potions. — I told him medically, before turning back in the direction of Viktor and following with him towards one of the empty offices.
— So, you said you have a theory? — I commanded when we sat in the armchairs.
Viktor confirmed with his head.
— Books. — Viktor said simply. Seeing the confusion spread across my face, he continued. — The admission book. On it, the magic feather wrote the names of the children who would be admitted upon reaching the age of eleven. But after the magic disappeared, the book disappeared along with it and so did the quill of acceptance.
— But you referred to "books", in the plural. — I said.
— Yes. Because besides it, I think the pure-blood directory explains a little more of what happened. I believe that there is a book, like the directory, which contains the names of all the magical families in the world and that this book has been cursed, along with the book of admission. I gave you some examples with family trees and received information that made me reflect on it. — Explained Viktor.
— What information? — I questioned.
— That Snape is a wizard with full magic. — Viktor stared at me, hoping that I would say something about it, but I kept quiet. — With this information, I began to question why he kept the magic and realized that his mother was burned from her tree. I still cannot explain the relationship but if all muggle-borns who had their name written by the quill of admission retained the powers, I imagined that Snape would be considered as one, since if there is really a book with a record of the wizarding families that is cursed, Snape's name is not written on it.
Not even Scorpius, I thought.
— It makes sense — I agreed. — There must be a book with a historical record of magical inheritance and that the only exceptions in it would be muggle-borns. If Voldemort knew anything about this book, he could have associated his death in some way with the book and blocked all the magic of who is depicted there.
Viktor's eyes semi-closed, becoming slits, due to the growing interest in me.
— If Voldemort blocked the two books, the admission book and the directory of wizarding families, he would extinguish everyone's magic. Half-blood wizards retained their powers because of the part that comes from the muggle father or mother, so their power was reduced by fifty percent. — He continued. —And you muggle-born are not recorded in these books, at least not until you have a descendant to build your own tree, or are associated with another tree of an already registered family.
— How could Voldemort know about all this? — I wondered, loud enough that Viktor would listen to me too.
— In Durmstrang they used to point him out as a wizard with above-average intelligence. — Viktor said. — And this explains how he assumed that he needed to block the admission book too, or any muggle-born child could be magic.
— But these books, if they are so powerful, should be well protected. — I commented
— And they were. Schools' admissions books, from what I researched, have never been touched by human hands since the first two put them there…
— Wait, what? — I interrupted him, Regulus's voice echoing in my head, months ago: "the first two, you know who I speak of". — What did you say?
— That books have never been touched by human hands. — Viktor repeated.
— No, not that. About "the first two", what does that mean?
Viktor looked at me almost as if he could not understand how I did not know what he was talking about, but he cleared his throat and swept the expression from his gaze, before starting to speak again:
— That's how they refer to two of the founders of Hogwarts, Rowena and Salazar. There is a legend that says that the two were... a powerful pair. They said that if they stayed together, they would be unbeatable. There was a care on the part of the two other founders of the school to prevent them from continuing as a couple, because if Salazar could convince Rowena of his purist ideals and add his influence to her intelligence, the muggle-borns would have no chance of manifesting their magic. Much less learning about them. In the end, they didn't have to worry so much. Rowena was as smart as she was adorable and did not submit to his cunning. But of course, they never stopped being a couple. — Viktor concluded. — Why were you interested in the expression? — He asked.
— I heard this expression once, not so long ago. — I explained and blinked my eyes to drive the memory of my meeting with Regulus out of my head. — About the books, is there any clue where they are?
— My guess is they're here. — Viktor answered. — It was not for nothing that Voldemort never moved away from this castle. And I have a strong intuition that for the curse to be activated in the books, he would need to die next to them. So, if he thought Harry Potter had a chance to kill him on the night of the final battle, I suppose he made sure the curse was activated when that happened. — He seemed to have lost himself in old memories, so he shook his head and finished: — gather some of the best Wizards of the team and start the searches for the castle. Hopefully, you find the two books and manage to undo the spell that blocked the magic.
My phone rang as soon as Viktor finished his suggestion. It was Neville informing me that Minerva seemed to be about to wake up and that I should go to St. Mungus if I wanted to witness that. I thanked Viktor and left, then glimpsed the team in the Quidditch field as I walked out towards the gates and apparated to the hospital with the same uncomfortable feeling for Severus's behavior earlier.
The day that awaited me in the hospital was exhausting, because when I was about to finish my shift, at nine in the evening, a wave of patients suddenly arrived. Thirteen people in total and all of them bitten by werewolves. The full moon had barely just risen when they attacked a Muggle subway station. I needed to stay for another four hours in St. Mungus, until we were able to medicate everyone and ensure as little humanity as possible in them so that they would go through the transformation.
Dean had been one of the Wizards who predicted the attack, but arrived too late to help. The Unspeakable were following the trail of the band working under Lucius's orders, but they changed the location of the attack at the last minute and this delayed the interception of the Aurors. He walked me home and stayed in the guest room as I headed to mine.
Severus slept soundly on his side as I snuggled up behind him, too exhausted for the day to even feel upset with his attitude that morning. I just lay down next to him and instantly fell asleep, and by the time I woke up, he had already left for Hogwarts.
I sighed in frustration and drove to the castle, taking advantage of the cold wind in my face and the moment of concentration with the traffic, to distract me from the problems around me.
— Did you wake up this morning and decide you were going to behave like complete assholes? — Severus's voice echoed through the Quidditch field, still not addressing a word to me since I arrived, but clearly addressing the group where I was.
Cho and Dean looked at each other, but kept quiet, and when Justin began a weak attempt to explain everyone's lack of concentration, Severus cut him off and dismissed all of us.
I went back inside the school to pick up the books I had separated with Madame Pince, before making my way through the gardens to the place where I had parked, when I spotted him waiting for me, disguised in the shadows. I mentally prepared myself for any insult that was about to come out of his mouth when my instinct warned me that we were about to argue when I stopped a few feet away from him.
— Is there anything you want to say? — I asked, a little harsher than I intended.
Severus gave me that slow, leisurely wink of contempt, typical of when he was the Hogwarts Potion Master, and I was just one of his annoying students.
— Where was your concentration today?
— I was focused on the fact that Justin was being an idiot and not the skilled wizard that he is. — I shrugged it off. — What's wrong with that, professor?
— Why are you calling me "professor"? — He freaked out, taking my sarcasm.
I looked at him for a second and then closed my eyes, telling myself to calm down. We had just had a shitty workout and I still needed to do a twelve-hour hospital shift, there was no need to annoy me now.
— It doesn't matter. I know we all act badly, and I'm too tired to argue with you.
— We're not arguing. — He said too harsh for those who did not want this to look like an argument.
I closed my eyes on a clear request for patience to the Gods above us.
— Anything you want. We're not arguing. I'll get in my car now, see you later.
— Since when do you run away from your problems? — He held my wrist when I started turning.
I stopped and looked at him, the anger now boiling in my veins.
— I'm not running away from my problems, I only know when I will not win an argument. Right now, I'm not going to win against your shitty bipolar mood.
— I'm not bipolar. — He growled.
— Okay, you're not. — I agreed, ironic.
— You're being ironic.
I almost pinched my nose.
— Yes, I'm being ironic, because I don't know if I'm talking to you, my friend who would understand why I yelled at Justin during a workout, or my advisor who I barely know and who doesn't give a damn about anything. — I finally exploded, but I shook my head to ward off my anger. — I am tired and I will take everything you are saying with the team personally. I'm sorry, if it's possible.
He muttered something in a language I didn't quite understand, but it was enough to annoy me even more. I turned around and took a good look at him.
— The only thing I know for sure, is that I don't know what your problem is lately, but enough is enough!
Severus's nostrils widened and a vein pulsed in his neck.
— My problem? — He asked angrily.
— Yes! Your problem. Whatever you stuck in your ass, you need to get it out.
— There's nothing stuck in my ass! — He growled menacingly.
— I'm sorry to disagree. — I stated with a calm that I did not have. — You are my best friend one minute and the next you look at me with disgust when we are in front of other people. I will not let you choose when we are friends or something else, and when we are not. — I had not planned to talk about it like that with him, but left, and it was too late to get the words back now. — But I understand. It's okay, and we can go on with whatever it is between us, only in private, but not in public. — I swallowed the cake in my throat. — And there's definitely something bothering you, but you would rather not talk to me about it. Alright.
— Who says I don't want to be with you in public? — He seemed surprisingly indignant.
— You did. When Cho found us, you just dropped me there and as soon as Viktor appeared, took another step away, remember? We're always together. The press has been pointing us out as a couple for weeks, but suddenly, it was obvious that it was not okay for you to continue with this when we were in front of my friends. I know we didn't talk about it and didn't label anything, but I didn't think you'd walk away like that. I was embarrassed, and I don't embarrass myself easily, right?
Severus's hands closed, and then he took them to cover his eyes.
— Granger... — he cursed softly.
— Back to last names? — I asked angrily. Severus snorted.
— You say we're friends, but you didn't think to tell me you were going to spend time with him?
Was that a joke? I did my best to calm down.
— What the hell do you think we were doing, Severus? I have been exchanging information with Viktor for years! And I asked him to come here because I was full of things in my hands with you and Minerva sick, and we didn't want to have that phone conversation or letter, at the risk of having the information leaked. You didn't even know what we were going to talk about but you already started acting like I had the plague and for some reason I don't understand. — I explained, trying to control stress.
Those black eyes blinked toward the sky before he looked forward again and focused on me.
— You and him have already been together! — He let go abruptly.
My eyes widened and I had to take a deep breath to control my anger.
— I'll ask again: what the hell did you think we were doing? — I asked slowly, with a lethal calm.
But it was Severus who was angry now.
— I have no idea, because you did not tell me! — He screamed.
Patience. Motherfucker! I needed to find a bunch of patience, but it's obvious that I was born without and no one had dumped a patience truck around me, so I didn't find it. On the contrary, I have lost even the little that I have gathered throughout my life.
— We were discussing a theory for unleashing magic, you idiot! What's the problem with that? — I yelled at him.
— Then why were you two being discreet? — He growled, fury illuminating his eyes. — Chang went to the training, and you stayed with him for a whole morning somewhere in this castle.
My eye began to tremble.
— We went to one of the offices on the third floor. He told me about his assumptions, and we discussed some theories, you idiot. Viktor told me that I should set up a task force with the best Wizards on the team to scour the castle in search of two lost books. This is the great conspiracy, the great secret. He also explained to me about a founders' story that I had no idea about and no one ever explained to me, because clearly everyone assumes that Muggle-born wizards know everything about magic, but several stories that are silly for this world, we have no idea, because we are only introduced to magic when we meet Hogwarts! — I could not return into myself the volcanic anger that erupted. — What the hell do you think we were doing? Sleeping together?
Severus looked at me for so long that I had my answer. Oh, my God! I could not overcome this assumption. What was he thinking?
— I can't believe you... who do you think I am? We are involved, Severus, whether we have declaimed this to the world or not. Do you think I'm going to sleep with Viktor after everything we've been through? You can only be kidding me!
— Choose wizards from the team for a mission? — He looked like he was about to blow up a joint. — You could have talked about it at any time!
— And when did you give me the opportunity to talk to you? It clearly wasn't when you ran away from my house this morning. — I charged him.
— You could have asked to stop training and talked to me about it. — He retorted.
— Oh yes, of course, I would just come to practice and ask you to interrupt it, because all you want most is to show favoritism for me in front of the Hogwarts team. Isn't that right, professor?
— I said don't call me that! — He growled.
— That's what you are, here in the castle! — I returned, my voice sounded harsh, like my jaw and I could not contain the disgust in my voice. — I can't believe you thought I was sleeping with Viktor. And I've really slept with him, if you need to know that, but... — I clenched my fist as flames danced at the tips of my fingers and took a deep breath to control myself. — I really, really want to incinerate you for suggesting that I would do this when I am completely involved with you.
— And I do not believe that you were planning something that concerns our work and did not think to talk to me about it. — He gave it back.
I took a step back, letting his words sink into my mind. I wouldn't let Severus make me feel bad for thinking about accepting Viktor's suggestion without telling him about it.
— I did not make plans with Viktor, he just suggested this plan of action and I would be a big idiot if I did not take it into account. — I suddenly felt insecure. — Why are you like this? I thought I would be happy if someone gave us a clue to follow and that it improves our chances against the magic block. Minerva knows that I exchange information with Viktor and supports it. And you, as a former spy, should also understand.
— I thought you'd tell me anything, anytime you wanted, Hermione. I couldn't care less about what the press, Robards or any of your friends think. You, of all people, should not think that my acts were out of shame to be seen with you.
Merlin, this man... — I'm sorry, Severus, but am I a Legilimens? Am I supposed to know that you would behave like a jealous fourteen-year-old idiot? Believe me, Ron played this role in my fourth year's winter ball and it wasn't cool at all.
— Don't compare me to that asshole! You are stubborn and a constant headache for me. — He retorted.
— Am I a headache? You're a pain in the ass! — I yelled at him. — I try and try with you, and for what? For you to be an idiot with me when you are frustrated or upset? Maybe you're used to people dealing with this shitty temper of yours, but I'm not going to take that much in the face and be okay with it. I like you, I love how we get along sometimes, and I love kissing you, but I don't know anything about you other than what you've already shown me, and it really wasn't that much. You only gave me a few glimpses of yourself when you are in a good mood or when you defend me from other people, sometimes even myself, but when you get angry, you don't tell me anything. — I complained. — Or you even give me those looks of contempt and ignore me for no apparent reason. How do you think I feel? I've shared my family with you, my bed; I've told you things I haven't told other people. And believe me, I tried, and I'm fine with it, but you need to open up to me too and not just give me this unstable mood of yours.
I took a deep breath when I finished and watched him, waiting. Waiting for something. For some assurance, some promise that he would try to keep his instability under control, or at least try harder. Instead, his face took on a harsh expression.
— I'm too old to change, Granger. I am what I am. — He finally said, in a clear voice.
— I'm not asking you to change. All I want is for you to trust me a little. I won't torment you anymore, but I don't like to give up on people, and I just don't want to be treated badly. — I replied, exasperated.
Severus said nothing more, not a single word. Although I prefer a lot more attitudes than words, since it is a person's actions that really say what matters, I wished Severus would say something. Anything. My head gave a dull pulsation, a warning of an onset of tension headache when I realized that this conversation was not going anywhere. Exhaustion poured through my muscles and I felt defeated.
I hated the feeling, but there comes a time when you have to listen to your intuition and not your heart, and I did just that.
— Maybe we both have a lot going on right now. I'm overwhelmed and have no idea what I'm doing, and you have your own shit to deal with. I think you need to figure out what you want to do about it... — I said pointing between the two of us. — Before we can continue. If you still wish to be my... friend after this.
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, he looked at me indignantly. Absolutely outraged.
— Are you kidding?
I denied it with my head, even if a pain descended on me with such force that it made me want to cry. — No. — I answered hoarse.
He opened his mouth and then closed it, and a second later he shook his head and apparated.
Severus didn't come to my house that day or the next, which was a Saturday, and we didn't have training at Hogwarts. And when I started feeling guilt-ridden on Sunday afternoon, I sent him a text message:
"I'm sorry for what I said. I'm under a lot of pressure and I shouldn't have ended our discussion like that. You are very important to me and I will not give up on you."
He did not answer, and on Monday, he was not at practice, and it was Flitwick who led the team. Not even Tuesday. No one asked where he was and I assured myself that I wasn't going to be the only one to do it, but I texted him again.
"Are you alive?"
And again, there was no answer.
On Wednesday, Severus finally took over the team's training back. He was involved in an argument with Filius and Hooch when I arrived, pointing to something on the paper sheet and both professors were shaking their heads enthusiastically at him. I let go of my backpack in the reserved area and walked to where the rest of the team was, next to the three advisors. Hooch split the team in two to start a duel between and informed me that I should stay with Severus for individual training. I looked at him carefully before approaching.
— Are you okay with us working together? — I asked him, thanking Merlin for having this insane Gryffindor courage inside me.
His eyes were directly on mine when he waved positively.
— We form a good duo. We've dueled before and you always make great.
His voice was soft, clear, but still, I looked at him a little uncertain. In return, he put a hand on my shoulder, which would have made me smile, had it not been for him to have avoided me in recent days. The facial expression I made was weak, a watery smile that you give to someone you did not find particularly funny, but did not want to hurt his feelings, but it is obvious that Severus knows how to read me like no one else, because he immediately frowned and his other hand grabbed my hand and landed it on his own shoulder.
Before I had time to think about what he had done, Severus stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me to his side and my face was pressed against his chest. Holy Merlin! Severus Snape was hugging me while I just stood there with my arms on my side, completely frozen in place from being too stunned by his act in front of the entire Hogwarts team.
— Hug me back. — His velvety voice demanded from above.
His words finally shook my paralysis and I wrapped my arms around his waist and our bodies gathered in a sincere embrace. A few seconds passed until my hands went from his spine in his lower back, to his arms and we moved away to face each other.
— Am I dying and I don't know that? — I asked.
He sighed, sticking his forehead to mine and closing his eyes. — Better not.
I still kept my eyes open and walked away a bit to face him again, completely unsure about that attitude.
— Are you dying? — I asked again.
— No. — Severus had the same serious expression that was so innate to him; but I could see a little emotion stamped on his irises. — I'm sorry I hurt you. I am an idiot when I feel threatened. — He looked quickly around us to check if anyone had approached, before his gaze stamped a mixture of determination and sadness that I had never seen before. — I don't want my shitty temper to take you away from me. — I knew what this also meant, and my chest tightened for him. — You are the person who matters most in my life, Hermione. Can you understand that? — He asked seriously.
If we didn't have around the whole Hogwarts team, who no doubt watched us now, I might have started crying. But I gathered strength and managed to give him a little smile.
— Can I kiss you? Or have you exhausted your daily stock of public affection?
Severus seemed exasperated.
— Did I ever tell you that you look like a splinter buried in the hand that I can't remove, Granger? You're incredibly boring.
— Is that a yes? — I winked at him.
— That's a stupid question, Hermione. Severus said.
— Which one? — I asked, smiling at his frown as I leaned towards him and gently kissed him on the mouth. I let go and smiled at him, shaking his hand. — Let's start, okay?
— Yes. — He didn't break eye contact. — Let's get started.
We stared at each other, still with the fingers of our hands holding us. It's funny how things work sometimes. I had learned and accepted my place at Hogwarts years ago and had fought a war that made me grow up and accept that life was something very ephemeral and that I should accept whatever came, because there might not be a future for me, and I knew that this man in front of me, thought the same way.
Then fate decides that this man, who had disappeared after the war, for some reason decided to again enter my circle and slowly, we became friends and made wake up all the feeling that one day I nurtured for him inside me. And I so easily forgave him for alternating in the role of my accomplice and my antagonist almost all the time for a single explanation: I am completely in love with this man.
And there is no reason in that. Because I like to think I've made wise decisions in my life, but reviving my teenage adoration for him for sure is one of the dumbest things I could have allowed myself to do. But obviously I couldn't fight him, for my heart never forgot what it was like to feel that way about him, no matter how much I tried to pretend otherwise, or grew up, or had other loves out there.
Because it was Severus Snape who I loved when I didn't even know what that feeling was. But I became an adult, learned and grew up and now I know I couldn't love someone who didn't deserve it. And Severus deserves it. Because he defended me from myself when I stooped to fit my ex-boyfriend's expectation. He took care of me when a manticore attacked me. He sent gifts to my godchildren. And he tied me by the neck when he created a potion that gave Harry the power to fight for me again. To be a wizard. And he's with me now, here, exposing to all the people that he doesn't give a damn about what they say. So, I couldn't not be in love with him.
And may Merlin help me, but I still want to cry for this realization because there is no way I can escape this truth when it is staring at me a few inches away with loose hair, bright eyes and all those inches of height.
— But before we start, I need to ask something. — He said softly, still looking me in the eyes.
— I will only answer if it does not break this moment. — I whispered.
— Is the idea of a relationship with me pleasant to you? — He went straightforward.
— What? — I asked, trembling.
Severus smiled slightly.
— I know you find me attractive since you like older men. — He completed with a touch of humor, remembering my obsession with House. — What do you think about a relationship with someone so many years older than you?
I woke up that morning thinking this was going to be a day like every other day. Apparently not. What the hell should I say?
— Why are you asking me that, Severus? And here, among all the places where we could talk about our relationship.
— Because if we are going to take this further, you need to promise me that you will stop worrying about what everyone thinks. You and I will be the only two people that matter in this relationship and I need to make sure that's exactly what you want, before I do what I have to do. — He answered, even more serious than before.
— And what would that be? — I whispered to him, our eyes still locked in each other.
— I will make love to you and remind you repeatedly that you are mine. — He whispered back, before his eyes burn with fire and he completes: — and after that, I will fuck you and fuck you until this truth is settled in you.
Final Notes
I wanted to thank Jessinthedungeons and my wonderful beta munjaaay, who are together in the translation project. You guys are amazing!
