A/N: Taking a small break from the holiday arc, this drabble's in direct aftermath of the last one, could even be viewed as Greed's thoughts as he's resting against Martel by the snowy window back at the Rockbells' place. (Also, I've never done 1st person POV with Greed before, so let me know how that works out, please.)
Disclaimer: I have no legal claim on Fullmetal Alchemist.
Drabble 18: Inhuman Love is Always Unworthy
I'm...hesitant with Martel. It drives me insane. I want her, I know that, with every fiber of my being, down to my very core--I want her to be mine. And I know...I know she wouldn't object. Maybe even welcome me...
My desire cannot be mistaken; I don't want Martel the same way I get other women, the same way I whore to them. I don't want her for just the sex, never have...but something more. Something I'm already getting. I'm getting it when we just talk with each other about stuff important, and stuff not so important; I'm getting it when she's angry with me for my recklessness, and all she can do for an hour straight is scold and lecture; I'm getting it when I taste her cooking, when we spar by ourselves, or with the others, that once included just Dorchet and Roah, but now Ed and Al; I'm getting it when I can just watch her live.
But hey, me being greedy and all, I want more.
...Damn poetic the only obstacle is myself. Maybe it's nature; maybe it's true that every Homunculus, down to its core, has some level of self-loathing and self-isolation. Bottomline, I keep running around in circles, keep returning to this simple fact: Martel's human, and I'm...I'm just not.
Dorchet is though.
...Jesus Christ, I'm just as screwed up as the rest of the Homunculi, no matter how hard I fight it.
A/N: Pretty sure this is my first stab at Greed angst, and he is a really tough guy to do angst with...which, ironically enough, is part of his appeal; his easy-going nature is very likeable. And yet, me being a fan of fanfiction angst...and I suppose everyone feels pain at one point or another, and that should include Greed... For now, this is in a way my form of compromising between both of my interests in Martel/Greed and Martel/Dorchet; so hard to choose between the couples... (None of you guys think Greed and Dorchet would fight over Martel, do you? I don't, never did; always thought them too mature for that, and too close as friends...but there would be some form of tension, I imagine, then of course there's always Roah to help smooth things out...)
