The Revolution of the Reaver

Chapter iii: Good Undead v. Bad Undead

The long-abandoned village squatted eerily next to a stinking bog, from which mist poured and filled the ill-kept streets. Collapsed buildings lay haphazardly along the roads, covered in dirt, moss, and mold. Very few structures were intact enough to not cascade partially into the avenues of the village. Half-rotten zombies stumbled towards the intrepid crew. Many were missing limbs or some other important piece of their anatomy.

Kain aridly looked away from the approaching danger with an annoyed growl. He could not believe this was happening. First, one of his favorite books had a bad ending; then Dumah lead him and his fledglings to no where near he wished to go; and now, cannibalistic zombies were attacking! This has been a terrible day.

"Why do you assume these zombies are cannibalistic, sire?" asked Melchiah in interest. Kain wheeled around to his youngest fledgling. How had he known what was on his mind? The vampire king was world-renown for his expressionless gaze and ability to hide his thoughts from others. Had his youngest developed mental abilities? His mind flashed to a past lieutenant with similar powers. Kain absently pawed at the thin scar that ran across his chest and abdomen.

Melchiah had not taken his golden eyes off his sire and noticed he was thinking deep thoughts. He raised a hairless eyebrow. Perhaps he surprised him? "I apologize, my lord," he bowed in submission, his bald head reflecting the sunlight, "but you were talking aloud to yourself again."

Kain's suspicion fell away as he mentally kicked himself. He thought he had broken himself of that habit. Oh well, many less than sane people spoke to themselves; he felt no different from any sharing his affliction.

He snapped to attention. "Zombies are always cannibalistic, Melchiah," he answered finally. Kain shook his head; do his fledglings know anything?

Kain returned his attention to the incoming doom. They still were too far to be dangerous. Much too far by Raziel's reckoning. He called this to his master. "Is it not possible to turn and leave these creatures to their own dealings? They are moving too slow to catch us, lord." He stood by his master.

All his lieutenants turned, interested in Kain's response. Their sire just stared coolly at Raziel for a few moments. A talon shot out and thumped him hard across the back of his skull, flinging his head forward and ruffling his jet-black hair. The first lieutenant painfully rubbed the area. Before he could repress it, a snigger let loose from Zephon, awfully covered too late by a claw, causing both his elder brother and his master to eye him threateningly. He bowed his head submissively. Kain and Raziel returned to their previous engagement. "Where is the fun in unlife," the vampire lord hypothetically questioned as he leaned on the Soul Reaver, its serpentine blade more than capable of supporting his weight, "if one is challenged and does not rise to the occasion? Further, we cannot allow these brainless undead to run amok!"

"But sire, they do have brains," pointed out Turel as the closest walking undead, which was still to far to be a threat. It had a gaping hole in its cranium and the organ it contained was clearly visible. It then tripped over its own feet and its exposed brain was knocked loose by the sudden jolt, becoming nothing more than a pink scrambled mess as the zombie tried to rise to its feet. Kain raised a brow at his second-born. "Although they seem not to be using them at the moment," he corrected himself. The sun hid behind thick clouds.

All the vampires glared disgusted at the zombies except Dumah, who was still confused. "Lord," he asked as the enemies continued to approach, "what is so erroneous concerning the undead having freedom of movement? We are undead, after all."

Kain shot him an exasperated look. "Dumah, the vast depth of your stupidity to this day still amazes me." He placed a leather-gloved claw to his temple, his headache starting to creep back into his head. "I assure you the differences between vampires and zombies are insurmountable." He sighed as the bulky vampire cocked his head, still baffled. "If I must speak to you in a way you can better understand," he acidly spat, "then so be it: Vampire drink blood. Most Vampire smart. Vampire good. Zombie stupid. Zombie eat flesh of anything that moves. Zombie very bad."

Dumah looked away in embarrassment, aware of his lord's mockery. The other brothers laughed at his stupidity. "He spoke in Caveman!" Zephon cackled. The rest of the lieutenants howled in glee as the heavyset vampire turned a deep shade of red.

Kain, despite his happiness that someone thought something he said was funny, raised his free talon for silence. His headache now pounded within his skull full-force. The vampire lord sighed once again and drew his prize double-handed sword, the Soul Reaver, for a second time ready for battle. The mist flooded past the streets, obscuring the enemies to mere shadows. He smirked; the best cure he knew for anything that annoyed him is death.

And it is a bad day to be a zombie.

Kain loosed a horrific battle cry and charged, his lieutenants following close behind. The zombie masses stared in wonder at the speeds vampires can achieve. They strode directly into the mist, where the shadows of their enemies lie. As the few remaining meters closed rapidly between them, Kain launched himself at the undead crowd, doubling his celerity. With various limbs and body parts flying everywhere, the vampire lord cut deep into the multitude. He was now completely surrounded by hundreds of mindless undead desperately clamoring over each other and reaching to grasp him. A heavy sweep of the Reaver relieved many of them of those limbs.

Yet they continued to advance. Zombies missing their legs hugged Kain's cloven feet, desperately trying to fill their mouths wit his flesh. All that was needed to remove them was a quick kick. As soon as he did this, however, more latched onto him, now also grabbing his legs. He lifted one leg, slipping it out of the hands of the zombies as he once again swung the Reaver at more advancing towards him, slicing them in half. He repeated this for his other leg, hacking and slashing his foes to bits.

Despite his valiant efforts to keep his enemies off of him, they still managed to wrap themselves around Kain's legs, and now, hips. He continued to savagely slash and cleave the flesh-hungry undead, yet still they kept coming. Finally, he resorted to allowing them to throw themselves on him, killing them, then climbing atop the dead in hope the height would conceal him in the mist and discourage the zombies' attacks.

Meanwhile, the lieutenants fought for their lives. Rahab and Zephon fought together against each other's backs, and thus kept themselves relatively safe from any flesh-hungry undead. Melchiah hopped from place to place and from cloven foot to cloven foot, felling the zombies he could and avoiding the rest. Armed with a two-handed sword, unlike his brothers, Dumah used his weight and strength to charge, crush, and slash through their enemies as they showed through the mist; Turel followed close behind, finishing any left animate and protecting his brother from attacks from behind. Raziel, being the elder and stronger of the lieutenants, casually cut down any non-vampiric undead that came near. He strode from brother to brother, slicing and gutting any problematic foes.

They continued in this way for many minutes, felling scores of zombies; Rahab and Zephon developed a small mound of dead around them, giving extra protection. Soon the numbers of attackers were dwindling. The lieutenants sped their endeavors to kill the last of the undead as quickly as possible. After many more moments of fighting, only a scraggily few remained. Raziel threw himself at the last zombies, and with one fatal swoop of his blade, he separated them from their heads. The younger brothers gave impressed gestures as they wiped the drippy gore from their weapons. Following sheathing their swords, a loud muffled groan broke through the mist and echoed off the collapsed walls. The lieutenants blinked at each other in confusion; surely they did not leave any alive? Just then, the mist fell away enough to leave jus a slight opaque haze. They turned towards the origin of the sound, towards where they last saw their vampire king.

The lieutenants stared amazed at the spectacle before them. A twenty-five meter mountain of corpses and severed limbs loomed over them, and atop Kain struggled waist-deep to end the unlives of the remaining few zombies that had scrambled on top of this mound to him. He skillfully swung his twisting blade over his head and cleaved open a skull and slashed through the stomach of the last undead. Its entrails sprung out from the slit, and sickly pale green coils threw themselves across Kain's left shoulder.

Raziel slid a claw through his jet-black locks as he gaped in awe. The setting sun broke through the clouds, sending golden rays in all directions, behind the vampire king. The blood and gore haphazardly splashed over his chest and shoulders caught the illumination, giving him an unearthly glow. He held the Soul Reaver high above his head, its meandering blade glinting, as he placed a gloved claw roughly on a corpse in front of him, his eyes shining molten gold.

The brothers stood in astonishment for a few silent moments. "Well?" shouted the irate vampire lord. "Will one of you lend me a hand? I am stuck fast!" He struggled for freedom from the carcasses, but all he accomplished was entrapping himself further. A disgusted outcry loosed from Kain's lips, startling his fledglings to their senses.

"What is it, sire?" called Rahab in slight concern.

"I just stepped into someone's open skull," he howled, "and I cannot release my foot from it! This is not a pleasant experience; lend me your assistance on the instant!"

His lieutenants quickly scurried atop the mound of death to aid their king in his predicament.


Kain: (mortified) Ew! Zombie brains!

Hee, hee! Your feet are all nasty!

Kain: I notice you mentioned my "cloven feet" many times.

Yep, your cute cloven feet.

Kain: (beaming) You think I am cute?

Completely adorable.

Kain: (disappointed) Not handsome?

No. Just funny-looking. Maybe I would keep you as a pet.

Kain: (cries in the corner)

Take it like a man!