Chapter Nineteen
Sara had to appreciate the irony. Her side of the closet was jam-packed with black. Her wardrobe ran through all the dark shades of various hues, from red to violet. But right then, she couldn't think of one appropriate thing to wear… to Catherine's service.
She shared the huge walk-in closet with Catherine. Both sides were a startling contrast. Catherine's section was abundant in design, color and numbers. It wasn't so much that Sara didn't like to dress up, as it was that she hated shopping. She lost patience after spending more than ten minutes in any one store. As a result, she avoided the task as much as possible.
Sara barely glanced towards the other side as she chose what to wear. However, she couldn't ignore the scent wafting from that end and it sent her heart into another painful thud. She weakly picked out a pair of black dress pants and an even darker linen shirt and laid it on the bed. However, that little effort seemed to have depleted her off all energy and she collapsed on the mattress. For the last twenty four hours, all she had done was cried and slept, both in fitful episodes. Already, that one day had proven to be excruciatingly long, with nothing but torment to give her company.
She raised her left hand to get a better look at her fingers. A wistful smile broke out just as fresh tears soaked her eyes. The diamond on her ring caught the light and shone. She closed her eyes to escape the glare.
---
Sara nervously played with the rose petals. She had already crushed two of them by accident She didn't want to look at her watch because she feared it would tell her that there was still time. She had never experienced the seconds crawl at such an agonizingly slow speed. After realizing that the cut-glass vase would have nothing left in it if she continued damaging the flower, she stopped. She then turned her attention to the neatly arranged napkin and began unfolding it, only to refold it once again.
"Is there something else you would like, Ma'am?" The waiter asked, trying to hide his amusement.
"No." She shook her head. She had already downed five full glasses of water and her bladder had begun complaining. "Are you sure Ms. Willows reserved this table? There has been no mistake?"
"None at all, Ma'am." He politely replied. "This is indeed the table Ms. Willows reserved."
"Oh." Sara forced a smile. The setting was perfect and Catherine had arranged for their very own private waiter. The table overlooked the serene Lake Mead. The full moon, accompanied by jewel-like stars, was reflected upon its calm waters. The other diners were quite far away and this gave the place a solitary air.
"Perhaps you would like some aperitif?" The waiter asked, eagerly. "We have choice selections of sherry, Madeira, Vermouth…"
"No, thanks." Sara cut in. "I'll wait for Ms. Willows."
"Anything to eat? The restaurant specializes in seafood Hors d'œuvres."
"That sounds lovely, but not yet." Then Sara frowned. "Unless Ms. Willows asked you to serve them."
He shrugged. "She gave no specific instructions other than taking care of you until she arrives."
Sara sighed. "I guess I can have some Sherry. Thanks."
The waiter looked delighted to be of use. Sara wished that Catherine and Lindsay would soon arrive. At the rate her pulse was firing, she was afraid she'll end up with ruptured cardiac muscles.
Sara had dressed for the occasion, planning her proposal for a long many weeks. She knew that ideally she should be planning the dinner if she was the one who was proposing. But there was no way that she could wait anymore and she doubted that their jobs would spare either of them for a second romantic escapade such as this. She opened the jewelry box and admired the ring. Even though she had little interest in fashion, she knew a lot about precious stones. Her hippie parents had been briefly involved in some illegal gem trade and as a result, she had learnt to discern the quality ones. The diamond had been expensive but worth every little cent. Besides, she could hardly put a price on the feelings she had for Catherine.
"Sara?"
"Catherine!" Sara clumsily snatched her hand away from the table, hiding the box just in time. "Hi!"
"What is that in your hand?" Catherine furrowed her brow.
"N-nothing." Sara flushed. She quickly changed the topic. "Where's Lindsay?"
"She'll be here in a while." The woman narrowed her eyes towards Sara's hidden hand but didn't broach the topic anymore. "What are you having?"
"Sherry, Ma'am." The waiter replied for her, as he appeared with his tray. "Would you like something, Ms. Willows?"
"The same."
Sara had to stop herself from gawking but she found it immensely difficult. The woman sitting in front of her oozed sensuality. The reddish streaks in her golden mane were highlighted by the dinner glow. The color in Catherine's eyes was intensified by the aquamarine gown clinging intimately to every curve. A matching pearl necklace brought out the creaminess of her skin.
"So…" Sara managed to speak, "What's the special occasion?"
"I wanted us to spend some time together." Catherine looked at her through the flame. "But that's not all. I needed to talk to you."
"Oh? About?"
"About us."
"Us?" Why doesn't this sound good, Sara inwardly cringed.
"We have been dating for a while now."
Sara angled her head but didn't say anything.
"It has been a wonderful thing, it really has. You moving in has had such a positive effect on Lindsay. My daughter adores you. We all do."
"Why do I sense a but coming my way?"
Catherine took in a deep breath. "But I need for Lindsay to believe in stable relationships, someone to come home to, a real family, a… a…"
"A dad?" Sara couldn't keep the bite from the words.
The blonde doubled, "No, not really, that's not what I meant. But another parent, yes."
"Carry on." Sara's nervousness had turned into full-fledged panic and she drank some of the wine to smooth the edges.
"I guess, what I'm trying to say is…I… we have something great going on here. Not that I want it to end… I mean, not really. It's just that…that Lindsay feels so much… I feel so much… I-I…"
Sara raised a hand to stop the rambling. "It's okay, Catherine. I get it."
"You do?"
The brunette avoided Catherine's eyes but instead fixed them upon the damaged petals lying close to the vase. The outline of the ring box that she held tightly, dug into the softness of her palm. "You are breaking up with me." She whispered.
"What?" Catherine squeaked out. "No!"
"No?" Sara asked in disbelief.
"Of course not! What makes you think so?"
Before Sara could reply, she continued in one breath, "I just didn't know how to tell you that I love you. I know it's too soon for you and I didn't want to overwhelm you, but it all came out stupidly and now you think…"
"Wait… you love me?" Sara blinked.
"L-Lindsay… Lindsay loves you." Catherine stuttered, realizing what she had said.
"And you?"
After a moment of silence.
"I-I, yes… I do." Catherine blushed. "I wanted to tell you this properly but I have no idea why my brain stops working whenever I'm around you."
She mistook Sara's baffled expression and quickly placed a hand over the woman's. "I don't mean to pressurize you, Sara. I know you find all this very new and you are getting used to this whole thing. I also know how much you value your career and fear the problems our relationship will cause for you."
"Cath, I…"
"Gosh, I even got a ring. I mean I should have asked you first but my impatience got the better of me as usual. I'm really sorry." Catherine was twirling the fork absently.
"You got a ring?" Sara was beyond stunned.
"You know what, forget what I said. I'm an idiot who's just getting ahead of herself. What we have is amazing and let's keep it that way." Catherine mumbled, cursing her own folly.
"But Catherine…"
"I shouldn't have imposed such a thing upon you without discussing it thoroughly with you. But when do I ever do anything right?" She went on, not noticing Sara's weak attempts to speak.
"Catherine, wait!" Sara squeezed the older woman's fingers so hard that she almost jumped. "Can you be quiet and listen to me?"
>---->
Catherine winced when she moved. Cramps had gripped all the muscles on her right side. She realized that she had been that sitting position for a long time. Her sudden dozing off had become so regular that she had lost count. Slowly, she tried to uncurl herself but a painful trickle of electric shock ran down her leg and she collapsed back.
"This is going to take forever." She muttered, stretching her limbs gradually and waiting for the cramps to ebb. Meanwhile, she distractedly played with her ring. It was only when her fingertips brushed against the hard surface of a rock that she looked down at it. She admired the perfect cut of the diamond and the way it split visible light into soft blazes of rainbow. Despite the murkiness in her brain, she remembered that night with clarity. So clear was the memory that she could almost see it play out right in front of her. She had tried to tell Sara that she loved her and wanted to marry her, but instead, she had verbally fumbled around like a red-nosed idiot. She had almost expected the woman to laugh at her or end their affair right then or both.
>---->
The air was alive with the sounds of crickets singing to their mates. A faint rippling hummed in the background as the wind flirted with the calm waters of the Lake. The fragrance of freshly bloomed primroses, mixed with the headier scent of burnt candles and body perfume, teased their nostrils. The wide theatre that was the sky, dotted by its glowing audience, smiled down at them.
This wasn't new to her. She had been asked on countless candlelight dinners by several men and one of them had even culminated into the disastrous ending called Eddie. But that night, she seemed to have been transported into the land where fairytales came true. It had none of the artificial quality she was so used to in all her previous "romantic" dates. In fact, she hadn't even realized she had been missing something from those associations until that instant.
That night, when Sara whispered the three words 'I love you', she knew that if ever there was paradise, that was it. It wasn't just the fact that Sara had never spoken those words to anyone else before, let alone her. It wasn't even the fact that her long-harbored wish of having her feelings reciprocated had come true. It was the bared honesty in those dark eyes that touched her very core. Sara was looking at her in a way no one had ever done before. She had seen an entire spectrum of emotions reflected in people's eyes whenever they saw her. But never had anyone stared at her with complete abandonment. She knew that the woman wasn't just offering her life, but also her heart and soul, to her. And Catherine knew she had been privileged with the highest honor; the stuff that she had dared to imagine only in her fanciful teenage years.
"Catherine?" Sara held out her hand. "Would you bestow upon me the delight to spend the rest of my life with you?"
Catherine was afraid to even move, afraid that everything would disssolve like a dream if she did. Somehow, she managed to find her voice. "Sara, this… this… I never knew… I-I don't know what to say."
"A yes will be nice." Sara teased. Her expression then turned serious."I know I don't say it often. Me and emotions, they never understand each other." She was giving her a shaky smile. "But I can't deny them any longer and every one of them tells me that I want to be with you and Lindsay."
"Really? You are sure about it?" Catherine was still dazed.
"More sure than I've ever been in my life. You have no idea how happy you and Lindsay make me."
"And you make us happy, Sara." Lindsay seemed to appear from nowhere, shocking the two woman.
"When did you come?" Her mother frowned.
"Mom, I've been here since forever." The girl rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Both of you were too busy oggling at each other to notice."
"Lindsay." Sara spoke intently. "Do I have your permission and acceptance to share in your and your Mom's life?"
She smirked. "Hell yeah! Mom drove me crazy rehearsing her proposal speech for you."
Catherine blushed. The brunette was grinning lovingly at both of them. She then retrieved a tiny box dressed in rich velvet. When she opened it, Catherine almost choked. A handsomely cut diamond rested on a band of white gold. But more importantly, it looked hauntingly familiar.
"Holy shit! Are you guys telepathic?" Lindsay's jaw was hanging. Catherine was too astounded to correct her daughter on the use of bad language.
"What do you mean?" Sara's gaze darted back and forth between them.
"Well, this sure is creepy." The girl held out an identical box and opened it to reveal the exact same ring. She smiled. "In a cool way."
Sara broke out into fits of chuckle after her initial surprise wore off.
"May I?" Catherine reached out her hand. Sara hesitated only for a fraction of a second before placing her own hand in them. The blonde took the ring and slowly slipped it onto Sara's finger. She did the same. Even with the exchange complete, their fingers were reluctant to part.
"Ahem, now that we are done the mushy part, can we order dinner? The things I endure for you guys." Lindsay gave a self-satisfied smug.
"Shut up, you know you love it." Sara hit her playfully.
She pouted. "I so do not."
Catherine gently laced her hand with Sara's and through the warm light, she gazed at her family adoringly. If this was a dream, she never wanted it to end.
>---->
Catherine groaned with the effort of trying to stand up. Revisiting memories of that night had seemed to slice through her lethargy. Even though her body protested, she knew she had to fight. She had to fight to return back to her family.
This chapter is for all those who were wondering what happened that night at Lake Mead. A little fluff to neutralize the torture I've put all of you through... :P
For all those who haven't read The Line Between Shadow and Love, this scene is just them proposing to each other after twelve months of dating.
Thank you for reading! And now, back to the suspense... (insert X Files Theme)
