The bright side of Hell

PARODY. You will understand this fiction even if you don't know more than 500 English words. Because it is the author's word power too. (It's not true, of course… I know long and complicate English words, like "quantumelectrodynamics" but I never use them) Grammatical faults and unmeaning sentences in this fiction are voluntary… or not.

The story is awful. I created a new account, because I don't want to give my name to this.

Disclaimer: I do not make money from this junk.

Warning: OOC characters, maybe ugly words, terrible spelling, illogic happenings…

(Well, if I were you I won't read it at all.)

Prologue

The Hogwash Express appeared from the Smog, and get on the Platform 9 and pi/42.

It was late. Three days, precisely.

Nobody was wondering about that. In fact, older students were not there at all. They knew, that hoping the train before 7th of September doesn't make any sense.

And the other side, the first-year students had no time to be surprised, because they confronted in this moment a fascinating phenomenon.

The train's smoke killed eighty-two students of them, and solved at the same time the so-called "we-have-no-enough-places-because-our-headmaster-is-scabby"- problem.

But the train's driver, Professor McGondola was not satisfied.

- Oh, shit – said she kindly to Professor Snapper – your fucking poison killed EVERY first-year boys, and not only the ugly ones!

- They were all ugly and idiot – answered Snapper empathically – Did you see that miserly gay… I mean, guy, who was eating his own leg?

McGondola was a bit confused.

- Well, I suppose, three days waiting makes you hungry… - but she could not finish the sentence. Both of them stared at a point of the station. (OK, not a point exactly… A point has no dimension. They looked at a much-much bigger object.)

Between the girls, and a red-haired unidentified gender child, there was a boy, with green lenses and black painted hair. (In effect he was blond. This is a good object-lesson for artificial intelligence)

The boy held in his left hand the last living snowy owl on earth, and in his right hand a reticule. He was unbelievably handsome, and his brain certainly black as night.

In brief, he was The Boy Who Lived.

Again.

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A/N: Did you REALLY read it? Wow…Then write me reviews! Please. And DO NOT use more than 500 words. :D

(Sorry when somebody used the name Professor Snapper before. I find it in my dictionary. It was very conspicuous.)