A chapter that leaves Corem's point of view. It's weird, I know. It's a chapter I wrote when my story adopted a rather omniscient point of view. It certainly doesn't fit in with a story that runs through the eyes of a single character, but never mind! I liked that small passage.
The scene takes place in the Commander's quarters, where Carth Onasi somehow gauges Bastila Shan.
There was a sound, then another, and another. They were muffled. Finally, an insolent clarity settled into her mind, thundering and hurting.
At last she ventured to remember. Robust boots pounding on steel; the rhythm they imposed drew her back into that memory she kept buried in the depths of her being. Images flashed back to her, fleeting, then more and more detailed. She saw herself again, stepping with haste and determination, accompanied by three of her brothers-in-arms, whose expressions were simultaneously frozen and filled with emotion; fear, that could not be anything else. That form of fear, preceding the abdication, which ran through the whole being the moment it realised that death was just around the corner, and that it was now only a matter of minutes. Memories were rushing back, as if her brain had ruled to take complete power and was having fun dragging her soul and mind to their darkest reminiscences, meticulously chosen. She could see the scene again. The corridor, the hatch opening onto the ship's deck. Dead bodies, the smell of blood, a tall, dark figure, his glowing red lightsaber barely raised, yet so threatening.
On the Endar Spire, Commander Bastila Shan was brought out of her torpor by the metallic sound of the butt of a weapon banging lightly against the door of her quarters. She took a few seconds to regain her composure, reached for her lightsaber, which she fastened carefully to her belt buckle, and walked the few steps to the door of the higher-ranking officers' quarters she was occupying, then opened it with a sense of relief; she couldn't bear to replay those times, but sometimes, despite her Jedi training, she couldn't find the will to keep those images at bay. She praised the Force for having been interrupted for the umpteenth time.
The door opened to reveal a guard of nearly adolescent age, who, at the sight of Bastila Shan, assumed a solemn stance, expressing an almost disproportionate respect for the young woman. She smiled imperceptibly, somewhat amused by the exemplary behaviour of the very young soldier.
« Commander, Lieutenant Onasi requests to speak with you. »
Bastila made no immediate response. She knew that talking to the officer could be an unpleasant experience. She was well aware that he resented the Jedi interfering in the affairs of the Republic's military. And, to a certain extent, she could understand his views. However, she was convinced that she had a place on the Endar Spire; there was a mission to be carried out.
« Do you know what he wants? » Bastila asked rather reluctantly.
« No, Ma'am. »
With resignation, the young Jedi allowed the guard to let the officer in. The man, after bowing respectfully to his Commander, complied and walked away from the woman's quarters towards the hallway where Onasi was waiting. Bastila stepped back and used the brief remaining time to slip on the Commander's jacket she had been given shortly after landing on the Endar Spire - the one she had worn during dinner. She was somewhat ashamed to admit it, but was slightly entertained by her decision to show up in that outfit. It was obvious that Onasi considered this action to be another provocation on her part, and Bastila felt a childish urge to upset him more than he already was.
She sat back down at her desk and resumed her duties when the sound of someone's footsteps could be heard. The young woman lifted her eyes and spotted the officer leaning lazily on the door frame, apparently awaiting Bastila's permission to enter. The Jedi saved herself a few long seconds to study the man before addressing him. She needed to assert her authority, even if it meant taking small, futile actions. This was especially true with Carth Onasi, who was a highly experienced soldier: the officer was in his early forties, while Bastila Shan was barely over a quarter of a century old; an age gap that intensified the general discomfort of the whole situation.
Bastila noticed that he had most likely chosen to compete in the same game as she had. He had obviously renounced the need to wear the standard outfit. He was presenting himself to her in this same thick orange jacket: a pilot's uniform. An outfit that was normally quite inappropriate in the presence of a higher ranking officer, especially when the man was not expected to pilot any kind of ship. The fact was, however, that Bastila Shan remained an untrained officer, and she was well aware of this. Every aspect of her suggested that this high status that had been granted to her on a provisional basis could be seriously challenged; she had never belonged to the Republic army and, although she had been taught how to fight, she had never received any instruction in the military arts, and her youth hardly pleaded her case either. Bastila Shan was not even a true Jedi yet; in spite of all her talents, she remained just a Padawan, and there was no intention of taking the next step yet. The war was consuming too much of the attention of the Masters of the Order to bother with that for the time being.
Onasi also took a couple of seconds to examine the woman staring at him with what looked to him like a rather exasperated frown. He assumed that she was waiting for him to speak first. Deep inside, Onasi was delighted. He held no particular dislike for Bastila Shan as a person - despite her somewhat disconcerting arrival - but this situation did not suit him at all; he was perfectly aware that she had no part in this mess and that she had certainly not chosen to be in that place at that particular time. However, if he had the opportunity to annoy the Jedi leaders through her, he would certainly do so unashamedly.
Carth Onasi grinned playfully as he realised that his Commander had once again been careful to appear in an outfit that she was not entitled to wear. He could have been extremely upset, but he preferred to view the act philosophically. After all, he was playing the same game as she was at this hour. Perhaps they had more in common than he imagined.
Bastila Shan, still waiting for some sort of interaction, stood up and, both hands firmly pressed against the top of her desk, she kept staring at the man - he was still leaning against the door frame and was silently watching the woman. He could now better see the Jedi, and was once again struck by her youth. Besides the fact that Bastila Shan was far too young to hold such a rank, Carth couldn't help but feel a touch of enthusiasm about her. Sure, she didn't belong there, but there was a valid purpose for her being placed in that position. The Padawan, though very inexperienced, was by no means incompetent. After all, she had earned a name for herself with her Battle Meditation. Moreover, the Republic owed her the death of Darth Revan a year before: a tremendous blow to the Sith. However, Darth Malak, Revan's former apprentice, had since seized the reins of power and was exerting colossal pressure on the Republic, which was only able to stand thanks to Bastila Shan's Battle Meditation.
« Have you come here just to stare at me, make me feel uncomfortable and waste my time, or perhaps you have some real reason for interrupting me, Onasi ? » Bastila eventually spoke, as she focused her attention back on her folders lying on the desk, in a tone reflecting some sort of disappointment that she had to initiate this talk - a conversation she would so gladly have been spared.
« As much as I feel very enthusiastic about the idea, I have not come here to annoy you, Madam. Not now. » Carth teasingly responded.
Bastila raised her eyes to the soldier in dismay. Her gaze was impatient but confident as she tacitly ordered Carth to get to the point.
« Commander. » He resumed with greater solemnity and recovering a more appropriate posture. « I'm certainly overstepping my duties, but I've come to make sure that everything is going well. No offence, but your presence here gives me no great comfort. Lord Malak has been hunting you relentlessly throughout the galaxy since Revan's death. How can I be sure the Sith won't spot us? Forgive me, Madam, but I am most concerned for the lives of the men here on this ship. »
Bastila kept staring at the soldier, but this time with eyes that suggested a degree of embarrassment. However, she also appeared to be fully aware of what Carth was telling her.
The Jedi spoke up calmly: « "I know the dangers we are running. And I know the risks my mere presence brings to the Endar Spire and her crew. And, believe me, these are not parameters that make me feel very relaxed. But I'm like you, and like everyone else on the ship: I've been given orders, I haven't been consulted. I understand your fears, and I will not be among those who tell you that they are not justified. I cannot guarantee that the Sith will not find us. I cannot tell you that there is no real threat. There is a possibility that the operation will run into trouble. In which case, you must all be ready. Those are your orders. »
There was suddenly a very different atmosphere between the two officers; their looks had softened. Understanding and respect on both sides came through. As for Carth, he now realised that Bastila was a reasonable woman, fully aware of her current position and the dangers she could bring to an entire crew; she would not do anything that could compromise the physical or moral integrity of anyone. Nevertheless, as she had just said, she unfortunately had no real power over the course of events.
« Thank you for your words, Madam. You can of course rely on my full commitment. If I may say one last thing... »
Onasi stopped speaking, awaiting his Commander's permission to go on. Bastila immediately nodded approvingly. The man then resumed:
« Don't cut yourself off from the men on this ship. You are a Jedi, indeed, but you are their Commander. They need to see you, or at least catch glimpses of you. Don't be one of those general officers who continually retreats to their quarters. They don't like that. »
« I understand, Lieutenant. » The Jedi replied gratefully, then added : « Thank you. »
Carth Onasi nodded respectfully one last time and turned to leave Bastila Shan's quarters. Before he could walk away, the Padawan called out to him:
« Lieutenant ! » The young woman exclaimed. Carth Onasi glanced back at her in expectation. Bastila then took a few steps away from her desk, which until then had been some sort of comforting ground - a symbolically guaranteeing her authority - and joined the officer by the door of her quarters. When she got to him, she spoke:
« I am truly sorry for the first impression I made when I arrived. I know that much more was expected of me; I never wanted to look cold, but I was extremely nervous about the whole situation. I will apologise to the servicemen who welcomed me as soon as I get the chance. I will also apologise to this man who perhaps did not deserve such treatment from me; I failed to weigh my authority. »
At this, Onasi flashed a contented smile. Perhaps something could be done with her after all. Perhaps she was a more responsible person than what she had suggested so far.
Only time would tell.
« I understand, Madam. The men will hear your apology wisely, of that I'm sure. As for Galhor... you shouldn't worry too much. Tavhir would have done far worse than you have. »
Bastila Shan released a muffled chuckle. The Lieutenant's last words had soothed her.
« May I be excused, Commander? » Carth asked, which seemingly snapped Bastila out of her thoughts.
« Of course, Lieutenant. Thank you again. » She simply replied.
Onasi walked away and left the Commander's quarters once and for all. The woman settled back at her desk, and resolved herself to meet her regiment as soon as the occasion presented itself. For the time being, she had to get back to work.
