Chapter 1, revised.
She knew she shouldn't have.
She was there to comfort Peter after Pamela's death. But pretty soon he broke down and ended up in her arms and before long he sought her kiss.
She knew that she shouldn't have.
Maybe she did it out of pity, out of wanting to alleviate his pain if only for the time being. Over the last few months, she and Peter had developed an ebb-and-flow between them. It came with the job. And while each of them knew that the other was interested; they'd even gone out a couple of times- as friends, they knew it would be impossible to take it any further. Having so much respect for one another, plus Peter developing a beautiful relationship with Noah, and Olivia not wanting to cause any ripples in that relationship, they were content with being just friends even if deep down they both wanted more.
But that night, in spite of knowing that it could change everything; could even throw off the balance that she, him, and Noah had found, she gave in to him. There in his office, on the couch, he leaned in, and she didn't stop him. And through his tears, he kissed her. Gently at first, as if she were so delicate, then hungrily and deeper still until it was all-consuming.
She moaned as she felt his tongue her neck. He was licking and sucking right at that spot that made her weak and she was slowly coming undone.
"I should go…" she murmured, stopping his hands and lips and getting up quickly and heading for the door but as she put her shaking hand on the knob to open it, he leaned into her, his face buried in her hair. She stood there against the door trying to steady herself. He had her lightheaded, and she knew that if she didn't leave now...
"Olivia please….please. I need this, I need you!"
"You're grieving, Peter." God, why was he so close?
"And I need to forget, even if it's only for a little while. I need to feel something other than this pain…" he slowly kissed her hair and then moved it out of the way to expose the side of her face before leaning in to kiss her there, lightly, but full of all the passion he felt inside. "Help me forget, Olivia…"
Her eyes rolled up in her head as he made contact with her ear. "...Peter…" she cried. Dear god! If she gave in to this… you can't-
But when he gently turned her head, and the moment her lips met his again, all bets were off and she turned around. Hungrily she began kissing him back and without another word between them, he reached behind her and locked the door before slamming her against it. A small cry escaped her mouth as he devoured her mouth and lifted her. Then there was a pause as they momentarily stared into each others' eyes and she bit her bottom lip.
Olivia, stop this! She heard in her head but she pushed it out as they began wildly kissing each other and tearing at each others' clothes. Later on the couch, she rode him hard as she straddled his lap. And when she threw her head back, he grabbed her neck, putting a gentle but firm squeeze on it. She moaned and ground her hips against him. She was in such rapture, she couldn't speak as he pulled her to meet his mouth and kissed her long and deep with his tongue. Then, with his hand still wrapped around her neck, he quickly put her on her back and continued his assault on her pussy.
"Pe...FUCK!" She cried as she came, and at that moment, he came too, collapsing on top of her as he let out an absolute primal growl. They were both breathing heavily and he kissed her as he gave those final thrusts. He couldn't hold back his tears as he started to weep. Looking up, and then down at him as he buried his head against her chest, she simply held him in her arms and allowed him to cry.
The entire time she held him, her mind was in overtime. She'd slept with him; how would she ever be at a point where she could be in the same room with him? The sex was incredible but could they go back to just being friends after this?
"I have to go," She said as she immediately moved and got up, grabbing her panties and pants. Her mind was a mess right now, even more than it was already. She hadn't come here for this and now Peter was looking at her adoringly and she couldn't take it.
"You don't have to," he said as he stood and touched the silky smoothness of her arm.
"Actually…" She said as she pulled away "I do. You were…I mean that was…" she struggled for the words. "I hadn't counted on...the truth is, we crossed a line tonight that we shouldn't have - I crossed a line that I-"
"Olivia…"
"I'm sorry- about everything."
"Wait...tell me that I can at least see you again, outside of work. I need-"
"Maybe it's better if we don't; outside of work," quickly realizing what she'd said. It would be impossible to not see him outside of work. He was Noah's new best friend. Shit! "I mean...I'm sorry," she said as she zipped her boots, then kissed his cheek and left his office while he stood there alone.
…..
Peter didn't show up to work for the next two weeks which was a relief for Olivia. Yes, she was still heartbroken over what had happened to Pamela but she also felt like she and Peter needed this time apart from one another even if she had to deal with Noah constantly asking about him. If she heard "when's Peter coming over?" one more time...
She'd often thought back to that night. Tried to picture how she could've not managed to do what she did but how could it not have happened? She knew Peter was in pain, knew that that pain had to rip him apart. She had to go to him. He didn't have anyone. How was she to know that trying to comfort him would lead to kissing? Yes, they both had expressed personal interest in one another previously, but they didn't want to give into it. Especially her. She'd been down that road before and it ended in misery. She didn't want a repeat of David Haden, so as much as she was intrigued by Peter Stone, she kept a safe distance both physically and mentally. But that night…
"Olivia please….please. I need this, I need you!"
She thinks back to it and she knows that there's no way it would've gotten so far if part of her hadn't truly wanted it to. She wasn't into lying to herself, yes, Peter was very attractive to her. Very attractive. She'd wondered several times what it would be like to just let go and fuck his brains out, but each time, she was reminded of David and that kept her at bay. But that night, her defenses were way down and she took a bad situation and made it explode!
She moaned and ground her hips against him. She couldn't speak as he pulled her to meet his mouth and kissed her long and deep with his tongue. Then, with his hand still wrapped around her neck, he quickly put her on her back and continued his assault on her pussy.
She still feels it in her soul; two weeks later and she still trembles and gets huge butterflies in her stomach thinking about it. The sex…it was so intense. How was it that he'd given her more orgasms in that hour than any man had in her whole lifetime combined? Yes, sex was always pleasurable but she didn't always get off. Most of the time she didn't but it was enjoyable- for the most part. This time, with Peter, she honestly had no expectations going into it. Solely because it was happening in a moment she hadn't expected and was shocked (to say the least) that even in grief he was fucking magnificent! She had random spasms throughout her entire body for about a week following that encounter. He fucked her that good.
This morning, she heard that he was back and she wondered how she'd exist with him directly now.
"What's up with you?" Casey asked as the two of them stood in Starbucks waiting for their coffee. She noticed how her best friend was off for the last two weeks and asked her a-million-and-one times accordingly. But something was weird this morning. Olivia was jumpy.
"What are you talking about? I'm fine." Olivia said as she looked nervously at her watch.
"You're fine? Those are your 'I'm-not-okay' words and you've been using them a lot lately. Why are you so nervous?"
"I'm not…"
"Uh-huh…" Casey just looked at her. She knew it made no sense to push it and so she just engaged in some side-eye action right as the baristo called her name.
"Casey…" He shouted. She immediately stepped to the counter to retrieve her and Liv's drinks. Much to the baristo's approval. God, she was just gorgeous!
"Thanks," Casey murmured, smiling seductively. She'd fucked him six months ago and then found out about his girlfriend. Needless to say, that ended it though they remained cordial. And yes, they still flirt like hell, but that's as far as it goes these days.
"You know, that situation I was in is over, right?" Casey's face lit up at the thought. "I still have your number; I hope I can use it now."
She winked at him as she picked up her and Liv's coffees and they walked out of the coffee shop.
"Do you have to pick up dates everywhere we go?" Olivia grinned as she sipped her coffee.
"You should pick up more dates," Casey laughed. "I don't get you; you're fucking hot, look at you! And yet, you keep this all on ice." Olivia just laughed. "I'm serious. Have you gotten any since Tucker? Not that you were getting much with Tucker…"
"Stop…" Olivia insisted. She wanted to just forget that piece of her life ever even happened.
"I would if you'd let me hook you up with somebody, "
"That's not necessary. Anyway, I gotta go. I'll call you later. Good luck in court." She wished her friend and walked off.
Later that morning, at the sixteenth, Amanda looked up from her DD5's, "Counselor," Amanda said, surprised to see Peter. "Welcome back." She smiled.
"Thank you. Is your lieutenant in?"
"In her office."
Peter straightened his tie before heading into Olivia's office, knocking on the door. Olivia, busy on her computer didn't even look up as she quietly said to whoever it was to come in, and continued typing.
"I could come back, " Peter said and Olivia's head nearly came off, she raised it so fast.
"Peter…" her heart was suddenly beating so fast, she thought she'd faint. "You're back."
"I am, " he declared as he shut the door and walked towards her desk.
"How are you doing? I'd hoped you were okay."
"I am. I'm better. I took some time and went off to get my head together."
"That's good." She said, still so nervous as she got up from her chair and made her way around to him and sat on the edge of her desk.
Peter allowed his eyes to take in every inch of her as she sat. Her long legs in those tight pants, it reminded him of that night when he pulled them off her ample hips and dove into her for the first time.
"I came to apologize."
"Apologize? For what?"
"For that night. I wasn't my best self and I feel like I took advantage of our friendship."
"Peter-"
"Please; Liv I'm sorry for anything I did that made you feel like you didn't have a choice in what happened. I respect you way too much to ever make you feel anything less than-"
"Peter…" she said somewhat assertively, but she had to stop him. He was blaming himself for what happened that night. Suddenly it wasn't as hard as she thought it would be to face him and she went with it. "...I'm gonna regret saying this but, Peter, nothing happened between us that night that I wasn't fully cooperative with."
"Then why did you run away?" He asked, obviously confused after he'd spent the last two weeks running it through his head and accepting that he had fucked up big time! Thirty-six, and he would never fully understand women. "I thought it was me."
"It was, but not in the way you think. Peter, I wanted to comfort you. If I could have just eased your pain for a moment...but then I began thinking about where we are; you're a good friend to me and my son, but even more than that I honor you as a colleague. The enormity of what we'd done suddenly hit me. We had sex, and I didn't want there to be any awkwardness between us."
"Why would there be?"
"Because we work together."
"Can you honestly tell me that you aren't interested; that you haven't been for months? Because I for one am tired of trying to ignore what's always been there between us… and now that we both know that we didn't do anything wrong. Why are we still fighting it?"
She quickly responded "What?" When he threw her for a loop.
"Olivia, you can say that we shouldn't cross the line again and I'll respect it if that's what you want. I don't know, maybe we went about it the wrong way in retrospect-"
"Understatement." She laughed, and honestly, it felt so good to finally be able to after spending the last two weeks worrying about when she saw him again. "How about for now we just breathe a little?"
"Yeah," he realized that although he wanted a different result, what she said was right. "I think under the circumstances, that would be a good idea.
"You know, Noah's been asking about you, why don't you come by later? I know he'd love to see you."
He smiled inside, relieved. She wasn't trying to cut him out. That put him at so much ease. "I'd like to see him too, I'll definitely stop by." Luckily, his cell rang and they both were relieved. Both needing some of that breath she talked about a few seconds ago.
…
Peter left her office that day and as promised, he did come over to see Noah. He really did miss the little guy and they both enjoyed the time together. Over the next few weeks though, it was a balance with him and Liv and keeping their distance. He wanted what she wasn't willing to give right now, regardless of what she actually wanted. She did what she thought was best. Best for who? That was yet to be seen. Almost every night she thought about Peter while lying in her bed masturbating to get the edge off, and he did the same with her. And since that night they spent in his office, neither of them even looked in another direction. It's like they'd developed tunnel vision for one another and they didn't even realize it. Their friends did, however. On the rare occasion that Liv could find the time to go out for drinks with Melinda, and Casey and anybody would hit on her, she'd very quickly dismiss them. So would Peter whenever he and Kevin, his best friend would go out. Usually, women were all over him but lately, he'd kindly say "no thanks." Kevin thought it was fallout from his sister's death, and although he encouraged Peter to go for it, he didn't push.
The months passed and though he and Olivia were literally burning for each other. He kept his distance until she gave the go-ahead but it never came. And then one night in late August, there was a little get together on the rooftop lounge of a restaurant. He had been there for a half hour and hadn't noticed that she was even there.
He walked into the inside section and took a glass of wine from one of the waiters, when suddenly he saw her across the room, talking to a group of people. In the middle of the room, she, Olivia goddam Benson was standing there in a skintight black pencil skirt with pair of black, stiletto fuck me pumps!
Jesus Christ!
He looked at her and swallowed hard! And almost as if she could feel his eyes on her from where he stood on the other side of the room, she turned her gaze to his exact spot.
They both stood in place staring at one another. There must have been something in the air tonight. Why exactly was she denying this gorgeous man? She could feel herself suddenly getting hot for him as he made his way over to her. And she politely excused herself and walked to meet him.
"I didn't know you'd be here," He said as he nervously kissed her cheek.
"I had to put in an appearance."
But Peter was dumbfounded. "I don't think I've ever seen you not in pants, you look beautiful." He said as he sipped from his wine glass. Olivia wasn't vain, but she knew how good she looked when she dressed up. But coming from Peter...
"So do you," she smiled subtly as she looked out at all the people in attendance. "...handsome I mean. You wanna get out of here?" He nearly spit out his wine. Had he heard her right?
"Can you repeat that one more time? I didn't exactly hear-"
She was feeling bold tonight and stepped close to him, purring in his ear... "I said, do you want to get out of here?"
Wait, was he dreaming? That's it, he was dreaming, and he'd prove it. "For…"
She gave him a knowing look that left no room for confusion.
...
They soon found themselves on his gigantic bed, partially naked and kissing frantically.
"This is just sex!"
"Understood!" He said as he unhooked her bra and kissed his way down her chest. She cried out as he took a nipple in his mouth.
A while later and he was fucking her so good, she thought for sure that she'd explode!
"Oh God!" She cried, out of breath, as from behind, he thrust into her at a punishing pace! She hadn't been fucked like this in so long, and her body was responding in ways she wasn't ready for. She could feel a climax building from deep within her belly, and her legs were trembling. They were giving out. Nobody had made her legs shake like this since... "I'M CUMMING...OH GODDD! OHHHH MY GODDDDD!" She wailed. "OHHHHHHHH!" she screamed as she came hard and began squirting a powerful stream of ejaculate as she cried in absolute pleasure. Her legs gave out as she fell to her stomach and Peter went with her, delivering kisses all over her back. In spite of her being rendered utterly weak by the strength of her orgasm, she rotated her hips against him.
"Are you alright?" He whispered to her with a huge grin on his face.
"Holy fuck!" She laughed, breathing heavily. She couldn't tell you his or her name if anyone had asked her right now, but still she managed to tell him not to stop. Now she could enjoy this. There was no feeling guilty for her pleasure. She needed this, was thoroughly enjoying it, and Peter was not disappointing in the least. "Keep going!"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah...keep fucking me!"
…
Morning came entirely too soon as Peter opened his eyes to see her getting dressed.
"...leaving already?" He said as he raised his head on his palm. Did last night really happen? Again? He wondered happily, though it was quite obvious that he hadn't dreamt or imagined it. And judging by the scratch marks all over his torso and the fact that Olivia was in his room getting dressed, or at least attempting to, not being able to find the maroon colored top that he'd so greedily peeled off her last night...
"It's morning…" she grinned, her hair an utter mess from last night but God she looked sexy! He honestly did not see how she had the strength to crawl out of bed after they'd made love all night.
"I can see that," he said, getting up from the bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist. His glorious, naked, and muscular body literally illuminating with the sun shining through his bedroom window.
She'd been wondering how she allowed this to happen again but Jesus! Seeing him as he made his way over to her, standing there in just her bra and skirt, with those very high heels she'd worn to the event last night reminding her of exactly how she let this happen… he slowly took her in his arms. Wrapping her waist and softly began nuzzling her graceful neck. She could feel his dick beneath the sheet as it grew hard. This is how you keep getting caught up in this, Olivia!
Releasing a list filled sigh, "...and I h-I have to go to work." She told him as she pushed his hand away from the waistband of her skirt.
"Stay…"
Thinking how she wanted so bad to feel him on top of her again, inside her with his large cock pummeling her… Get it together, Olivia! She thought as she felt his tongue enter her mouth and for just a minute, she gave in but just as she noticed his fingers peeling her bra straps away from her shoulders she quickly forced herself to pull away. This was just sex! And no matter how good it felt, she had to remember that, and more importantly, she had to leave.
"I'm gonna be late." She was beyond relieved when she spotted her blouse, across the large room, crumpled on the floor and she quickly went to retrieve it.
"You know, I made a decision about something..."
She looked over at him, staring at his Adam's apple and slowly working her way down and over every muscle that revealed itself" About?" She asked, putting on her blouse.
"Losing Pam made me realize that life's too short to go without the things that make us happy."
"Are you talking about me?" She asked boldly. Hell, he'd already seen her naked and fucked her almost to death. Twice. She could take a little leeway.
"If I said yes…"
"We are not going through this," she laughed.
"If the bite and scratch marks, and the soaked mattress are any indications…" She just looked at him awkwardly and grinned. "You know, the way you came…several times"
"...was just my body responding to stimulation." Lie number one. Just thinking about him had her wet again between her thighs and she had to fight herself not to moan.
"I'm not giving up on you and me, Olivia."
"Wow, you're certainly cocky. Look, I don't know what you think, but what happened between us that night was what is was. There is no you and me." Lie number two.
"There was always you and me Olivia. We were both just too stubborn to admit it." He told her as he pulled her close to him and leaned in to kiss her but she quickly moved his hands from her waist and got out of his path.
"It was just sex, remember?" She whispered with a pat on the back.
Peter stood there by the full-length mirror, looking after her with a huge smile on his face. Once again, he had to let her go, but he knew it would just be a matter of time and he was patient. After all, a woman like Olivia didn't come along often.
