Disclaimer: Not mine. :looks at lawyers: 'Release the hounds!' :lawyers flee:

Ed rolled onto his back. Roy glanced over to see that Ed had stopped sobbing. Now what's he going to do?

"Mustang, we have to find a way out of this room!" Ed's eyes sparkled with determination.

Roy smirked. "Great idea, Ed. Don't know why I didn't think of that myself."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No."

Ed growled. "We are going to have to get out of here. Who knows what those fangirls are going to do to us? Do you know how to get these chains off?"

Roy shook his head. "As far as I know, the only people who can remove these chains are the fangirls." He looked towards the door. "Did you hear something?"

The door opened a bit, just wide enough for Roy and Ed to see the a girl peeking in at them. She had dark brown hair, and her eyes were fixed upon Ed.

"ED! OMG, you are so friggin hot! Did you know I'm your biggest fan?" The fangirl threw the door open and ran to the bed. She reached out and let the tips of her fingers brush against Ed's cheek, then drew back and began to hyperventilate.

"Oh…it's…really you. I…oh…" The girl shook her head. "My name is Harriet, and it's such an honor to meet you, sir! I have dreamed of you every night since we began planning our invasion, and you are even more hot in person!"

While the fangirl was speaking, Ed began to carefully work his way across the bed. He didn't want to make any sudden moves, as he was afraid she would do more than touch his cheek. Next thing Ed knew, he was leaning against Roy's chest.

"Move, Mustang! I want to get away from her!" Ed hissed, keeping one eye on Harriet, who was going on and on about how Ed saved her in her dreams. "Mustang! Mustang! ROY!"

Roy jerked. "Hey, what about me?"

Ed gnashed his teeth.

The fangirl stopped. "Oh, hi Roy. I forgot about you for a minute," Roy gnashed his teeth, "I was just so excited to finally meet Ed! Wait, why are you sitting in Roy's lap?" Harriet frowned.

Ah, why does she look pissed? Roy began to feel a bit nervous.

Ed was still grumbling to himself about Roy's comment. That's it, you bastard, ask the crazy fangirl 'what about me?' instead of helping me escape! I'm gonna tell Hawkeye all about what you do with your paperwork when I get out of here! Huh? What-

"Eep!"

While Ed had been busy planning Roy's torture, Harriet had decided to do something. She grabbed Ed by his chains and hauled him back across the bed, all the while yelling something about being an 'Ed girl' and 'no yaoi' and 'Roy, you are nice, but you're just not my type'.

Ed stared at Roy. He'd never seen a human turn that shade of purple before.

Somewhere in the fangirl's castle…No, I don't have a floor plan…

"We need to strike soon! The rest of the military will show up soon, and then we'll have all those background, identical looking characters running around!" A tall, red haired fangirl with a badge on her shirt that read 'Secretary of Mary Sues' stood in front of a dry erase board. "We need to find the rest of our most wanteds!"

A tall blond fangirl nodded. She was the one who had shown Ed and Roy that Al had been captured. "Yes, we still have quite a few left, and we have lost the element of surprise. We do have Hawkeye in custody, but we still need to capture Maes Hughes and Izumi Curtis. Well, actually, I don't think we can capture Izumi, but we at least need to keep her occupied and out of our way. How are the Mary Sues working out?"

The red head smiled. "Perfect, of course."

The blond grinned. "Good. Make sure we have plenty in stock. I'm going to go update our leader on the situation. By the way, have you seen Harriet?"

Notes: I found out why my sister wants me to stay with her. She wants someone else to cook. Then, I lost my notebook. Found it behind my bed. Can plot bunnies mate with dust bunnies? Maybe I don't want to know…

Now taking votes on who gets captured next!