Chapter 17.

Last week, Monday…

"Bored already?" Olivia asked Noah as she, him and Peter pulled up in front of his school and into a long line. Today was the first day of the new school year- third grade for Noah. She saw the way he'd been looking out the car window at the school, as if he'd grown tired of it over the summer.

"No, I'm excited to see all my friends, it's just that I wish I could go with you guys to the airport,"

"Hey," Olivia said as she turned to the back seat where Noah was sitting. "I'll be back in no time," and she took his hand and kissed it. "...and you and dad have my number, you can call me anytime and facetime me; we've done this before."

"Except, now I have dad to look after me!" He smiled as Peter and Olivia looked lovingly at each other. "I love you mommy, have a safe trip." He said, gathering his things for when it was his turn to get out of the car.

"No kiss?"

"Mom, the guys are watching!" Noah said, already seeing his eager group of friends outside the front of the school waving and waiting for him.

"Well, there are no rules that say I can't give you one." She said before she planted kisses all over his face and head.

"MOOOOMMMMMM!" He laughed.

"I love you, sweet boy."

"I love you too."

"…how about when I pick you up later we talk, just us?" Peter said, stealing a glance at Olivia to which she smiled. He had planned on talking to Noah about the adoption when they arrived home from Rhode Island last night, but Noah had fallen asleep in the car after they dropped Kellan off at home. Olivia was just sorry that she wouldn't be here to see Noah's reaction. She just knew that he would be beyond excited.

"Okay," the child said, giving no thought to it. Besides, usually, when Peter said 'let's talk' it was something good. "…Ice cream?"

"No," Olivia interjected but Peter threw Noah a subtle nod over her shoulder.

"You heard mom," Peter tried to keep the smile off his face. Noah grinned saying 'I love you dad' to Peter before getting out of the car, then waving as he went into the school..

They both looked back as they drove off, Olivia until the school was finally out of sight. Peter took her hand and brought it to his lips and kissed her fingertips.

"He'll be alright,"

"I know, I just wish that I could see his face when you tell him, he'll be over the moon!"

"I can wait if you want,"

"No. No, I think…I think this is a moment that should be between the two of you. Besides, we've got other things that we're gonna tell him together." She smiled, looking down as her hand went to her stomach. His met hers and rested there on her tiny swell.

"...just a matter of waiting on the results." He marveled.

She had to be at the doctor's office at seven this morning, or else they would have to wait until Saturday for the test, which neither of them wanted. They were so eager to tell Noah, hell, to tell everyone. Olivia smiled as she caressed his face and he kissed her.

She arrived in DC a little later that morning and she thankfully had time to check into her hotel suite and take a short nap. That nap was something she'd planned to do on the flight, but the woman next to her couldn't seem to shut up, engaging her in conversation the entire hour-ten-minute flight.

First conference wasn't due to start until two. It would be the only one today- three hours, but it would be the only one before the formal dinner tonight where she would be speaking. She took off her jacket, prepared to lie down when she suddenly remembered that she needed to call Fin about a case.

…

New York, later that afternoon…

Later, early that evening, Peter was getting sodas from the refrigerator when Noah entered the kitchen.

"I got the switch set up, ready to play?"

"Almost, just getting snacks. But uh, hold on a sec," Peter said as he was in the panty gathering different chips. Noah came back to the kitchen island and hopped up on the stool at the counter.

"Is this about that talk you said you wanted to have?"

"It is," Peter said and he put the chips down on the counter then took the seat next to Noah's.

"...did I do something wrong?"

"No, no no, Bud. It's- well I wanted to- Noah, you know how much I love you, right?"

"I love you too, dad."

"You know, every time you call me dad, it makes me so happy, and at the same time, so aware of everything that it implies."

Now feeling that he didn't understand, Noah just looked at Peter, confused. "Huh?"

Peter thought of how to simplify it. "It's just such a big responsibility… and I don't mean that in a bad way.

"Daddy, are you and mom breaking up?"

"What?" Peter said, shaken by just the thought. "No. I've found the love of my life in your mom, and I hope we're forever."

"Really?"

"Really. Your mom is everything to me, just like you are." This made Noah smile as he clung to Peter's arm.

"So, you're not going anywhere?"

"Never. I love being who you consider a dad; so much so that I was talking to your mom; I wanted to see how she felt about it,"

"About what?"

"Well, I wanted to see what she would think about me taking steps to become your real dad,"

"you mean adopting me?" He hoped this was what Peter meant because right now, his hopes were sky-high, and his heart was beating so fast. He was also in tears that he was quick to wipe away before they could flow.

With tears in his own eyes, "I'd sure like to. I couldn't love you more if you were my own, and if you don't want to change things, that's okay too. But I'd be so honored if-" but before he could finish, Noah threw himself into his arms.

"Can we call mommy?"

…

After her conferences were over for the first day, Olivia couldn't wait to call home and chat with her guys to see how things went but on the way up to her room, her phone rang and itwas them. Noah must have talked to her forever about Peter adopting him. Sadly, she had to end the call, needing to get dressed for a dinner at which she'd be a speaker. Promising to call when it was over, she ended the call.

Going down to the ballroom, where the dinner was being held that night, Olivia exited the elevator on the ground floor and just remembered to stop at the front desk. She had to let the concierge know that the shower in her bathroom had a drip that was irritating her to no end. It was loud, and while she'd tried to ignore it when it started two hours ago, she'd had enough.

"...thank you." After speaking with the concierge, she was about to head to the ballroom when her phone rang. Melinda. She quickly moved to pick up the call.

"Hey, Mel,"

Melinda was in her car talking on speaker. "...just calling to check on you,"

Olivia laughed at how amazing Melinda had been since finding out about this pregnancy. She felt great; well, minus the tears. And she told her so.

"You're not overexerting yourself?"

"I'm not; it's kind of hard not to do that here, but I promise, I'm doing good. In fact, I'm on my way to dinner as we speak."

"Well, I'll let you go; feed that baby, and good luck on the speech."

Olivia stood at the front desk, smiling as she put her phone back in her purse. Suddenly, the lobby doors opened, and in walked a man who was finishing a call when he saw Olivia and did a double-take as did she. Both of them, caught completely off-guard.

"Olivia?" He called, looking her over from head to beautiful toe. Time had been good to her. Jesus, he felt like he was in a dream. Like the clock had slowed down, rewound, and it was suddenly years ago.

"David…" She near-whispered, silently thanking whatever God was above her as she reached back for support that she was standing near the counter because at this moment, she didn't trust her legs not to give out. She was in shock as she looked at him. It was like she was seeing a ghost; a specter from her past and she couldn't believe it was here in front of her.

"I thought it was you," he stared. "Um..h-how've you been?" How've you been? David you asshole, did you really just ask her That? How was it that in ten years she was even more beautiful? She was absolutely glowing!

"What...what are you doing here?" Did I even say that out loud? She felt like she would faint and it wasn't because of the baby.

"You look as beautiful as e-"

"What are you doing here?!" She cut him off, reiterating her question while still unbelieving this was real.

"I live here… well not here," he said, gesturing to the hotel. "But, here. I'm meeting colleagues at the restaurant for dinner,"

"I need to go." she said as she regained the strength in her legs and turned to leave. David started to protest but she cut him off again, repeating that she had to go and hurriedly walked away.

…

She was still in shock as she sat, picking away at her dinner. She wasn't so hungry after all, sitting at her table in somewhat of a haze. Her stomach had been in knots ever since she saw him and she didn't understand why, it had taken her a while back then, but she'd gotten him out of her system. Hadn't she?

God, she could take herself back to all those years ago. Back to the night when they ended things. She was terrified of the talk they had to have that night because she knew where it would lead. What choice did either of them have? He had just gotten a new position at the DAs office; head of the integrity unit that would oversee the cases SVU had convicted after the whole debacle with Omar Pena. She knew that this would bring more complications to their already strained relationship. If only she had listened and they'd disclosed months ago…

He could have chosen her. He could have said forget the job, but would she really have asked or accepted such a choice when in her heart she knew that she wasn't ready to do the same if that's what it took?

"Miss Benson, it's time…" she heard Bill, one of the men she'd met earlier say as he touched her lightly on the shoulder and leaned down to her ear. That brought her out of her reverie and she quickly, in somewhat of a daze, looked around the room.

"I'm sorry, I… yes...of course." She said as she dabbed her mouth with her napkin before gently laying it across her still-full dinner plate to signal that she was done with her meal.

At nine-thirty, she simply was not in the mood to sit through the rest of the dinner and decided to leave and go back up to her room. She'd finished her speech, (which thankfully went over beautifully) and briefly chatted with a few colleagues but she couldn't stand it here another minute. Not when she had so much on her mind. Olivia bid her colleagues goodnight, citing a headache which wasn't exactly a lie, and she made her exit. Then, walking down the vast hall until she'd reached the elevators, she was just about to press the call button when she heard her name.

"Liv…" it came as she turned her head, just in time to see David coming towards her.

"David, I can't do this tonight..." She said, visibly shaken as she pressed the elevator button.

"Liv, please-"

"Don't call me that,"

"I just want to-"

"David, please. Not tonight." She said, but just as fast, she put her hand to her stomach, taking a deep breath to calm down. "I can't do this tonight." Just then, the middle elevator doors opened, a bell sounding as they did and she quickly walked the few steps to it and got on. She let out a deep breath and reached behind her to hold on to the bar at the back of the elevator. Suddenly, the doors that were about to shut opened again when David's hand interrupted the sensor and he got on and stood beside her.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked, as the doors began closing.

"If you can't talk to me, can I at least see you safely to your room?"

She turned to glare at him, shaking her head as she turned back to look at the doors, and kept her gaze there. The ride up was a silent one, and she never turned to look at him again during. By the time the elevator reached her floor, she was the first to get off, needing to get away from him.

"Stop following me," she said, nearly sprinting down the hall. Even in the four-inch heels she wore, she was soon so far ahead of him that David ran the few steps to catch up.

"Liv- Olivia…" he corrected before she could. "Wait…" he cried, catching up again just as they arrived at the door to her suite.

"Here's my room, thank you. Now please go." Searching for the key card in her purse, she started to get agitated when it wasn't visible right away, but suddenly she found it, relieved, and put it in the lock.

"Have lunch with me, tomorrow."

"No."

"Then coffee, maybe catch up?"

"Goodnight, David." She bid him and quickly closed her door. She immediately felt nauseous as soon as the door closed and ran to the bathroom.

David raised his hand to knock but then stood there, debating if he should. Maybe it wasn't meant for us to talk; it's been so many years… but I can't just walk away again, there's so much I need to say to her, so much I need to…

"Sir, can I help you with anything?" A maid who had just delivered towels to the room down the hall asked David as he came out of his fog.

"No," he answered, "no, I was just seeing my friend to her room. Goodnight." And he walked away, down the hall just as the elevator arrived.

…

Olivia took a long, hot shower to clear her mind after what was an unbelievable night. Now over an hour later, she sat in bed in her pajamas with the tv tuned to some romantic comedy, absolutely devouring a plate of fries with melted cheese and a big mug of tea. She was so thankful that the kitchen had been open this late when she called for room service, because her hunger had come back with a vengeance.

"God I hate these stupid movies, on what planet does it ever happen this way?" She said out loud, then took another couple of fries before she grabbed her tea and took a big sip..

She called home earlier after she exited the shower, just to check in. She couldn't tell Peter that she was in anguish over seeing David when he noticed the sadness in her voice, so instead she blamed it on being tired and they talked for a few minutes before saying goodnight. She wished that Peter were here now or that she was in New York. Anything to not have to have gone through what she did tonight.

She put the tea mug on her nightstand and was about to eat another couple of fries when suddenly, the phone to the room rang.

She froze and stared at it a second thinking who could be calling her this late. Everyone had her cell phone number, so she couldn't imagine who it could be, but she decided to answer.

"Hello?"

"I've been trying to sleep, but I can't seem to get my mind to settle down."

David.

"What are you doing? You can't just call me like this."

"You deserve to know why I left things the way I did,"

"Honestly, David-"

"Please, just have coffee with me, we can talk about it."

"I really-"

"Of course; you probably have to leave tomorrow,"

"No, it's not…"

"Then…?"

Not being able to think of anything else to say, she went with, "I have conferences all day," Conferences Olivia?

"...so, after then, maybe?"

"David…" he'd surprised her with the 'after' request though she tried not to make it obvious. "I don't…"

"Please, Olivia," he said with a pleading to his tone.

Fuck! She thought. Tell him no. Her inner voice was screaming at her. But instead of following that distinct direction…

"Can I let you know?" It was all she could give right now, but to David, it was a start and he couldn't keep the smile from his lips.

"I'll wait for your call. Goodnight, Li- Olivia."

…

tbc…