Chapter 20

Continued…

"...Peter, look at me," she cried, and when he didn't turn around and kept his gaze on the window, she ran and stood in front of him, forcing him to look at her. "Peter… I love you…I am in love with you!"

"You love me? Okay, and who the hell are you with Haden?"

"I don't love David, I haven't for years." She told him truthfully, turning away to wipe her tears. "It was just… When we broke up, there were so many unanswered questions that I never got to ask,"

"And you ask those questions with your lips?"

"...it was a mistake!"

"He kissed you!" Peter yelled.

"I didn't ask for it,"

"And we both know that it never would've gotten that far if you'd just been honest about us!"

"I have apologized for that, but at this point I dont know what else I can say, and you know what? I can't talk to you when you're like this!"

"Like what?"

"Unreasonable!" She said as she started to leave the room but he angrily grabbed her by the upper arm.

"Don't walk away from me!"

She glared angrily at his hand on her arm, then quickly looked up to him. He looked enraged, but he took his hand from her arm immediately and collected himself. This isn't what he wanted, to bully her. And right now, that's exactly what he felt like. Realizing just what he'd done, he quickly began apologizing.

"I don't know what… I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Are you out of your mind?" She quickly remembered that she had to stay calm for this baby. But there were so many emotions running through her at that moment; most of all anger. She needed to get out of this house.

"Liv wait…" he ran to catch up to her, but she didn't want to hear it, still, he had to make her understand. "Olivia, I'm sorry..." he cried as she grabbed her purse. He reached for her hand and she snatched it away as she stopped and turned around, this time screaming at him.

"DO NOT!" She screamed and left the apartment, leaving Peter standing in the entryway.

"Peter, you fucking idiot!" He said, angry with himself.

…

At the precinct, Olivia got off the elevator and made a bee line for her office. Of course, the 16th wouldn't be the 16th if she could get to her office without a million people asking how she was; she hated that she was so easy to read when she was mad.

"You okay?" Fin asked as she walked past him.

"I'm fine!" She said, harder than she meant to. She didn't stop walking as she said it and slammed her office door when she was inside.

"Should we-" Carisi started, but Fin cut him off with a simple…

"Nope."

…

Peter never went back to work that day and instead sent Lucy home when she entered the apartment with Noah. Now they went out having ice cream since the weather was warm.

He had sent Olivia another text before he sat the phone down, praying for an answer. "What's wrong, bud? I thought you loved peanut butter chip,"

"I do… Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can" Peter promised as he quickly set his spoon in his ice cream. "What's going on?" Noah was nervous and it showed in the way he fidgeted.

"Are you and mom fighting?"

Peter was taken aback by the question and answered Noah with one of his own. "Why do you say that?"

Noah got quiet, averting his eyes while he thought about if he wanted to say. Maybe he'd just imagined it or was over-reading the situation. Maybe there was no reason to worry, but still, his young mind knew that things were out of place.

"Hey, look at me," Peter said, "it's okay. Remember, you can say anything to me,"

"It's just…you and mom didn't talk this morning. At all. It's kind of like you were ignoring each other on purpose…I didn't like it."

Kids really did observe everything, Peter thought as he paused to put everything into the right words. So, you know how I promised that I'd never lie to you?"

"Yes, you and mommy both said it's important to be honest."

"That's right. So I'm gonna be honest with you. Your mom and I, we are fighting but I promise we're working through it."

"Are you guys gonna get a divorce?"

"A divorce? That's a big word,"

"Kellan's mom and dad have one, and some of the other kids at school, their parents do too"

"Divorce is sometimes a terrible thing, but sometimes it's the only way for a family to be happy. I say that, to say this: Your mom and I, we're disagreeing right now, but at the end of the day, we both love you and each other very much. We're not getting divorced, not even close."

"You promise?"

"I promise. Now eat your ice cream." He said as he reached across the small table and messed Noah's hair as the child smiled digging into his ice cream. He was all safe in his world again.

…

That night, Peter continued to text Olivia, but it was always the same thing; the texts would go unanswered. He realized that he had fucked up, and all he wanted was to talk to her. Now, at nine o'clock, Noah had fallen asleep and he'd just put him to bed, and went downstairs to have a drink; a double shot of bourbon that after today, he'd needed. He sighed as he was standing at the bar drinking the contents of his glass when he heard the front door and he braced himself for when she walked into the room.

"Can we talk?" he said as he put his drink down.

But Olivia was bent on being angry with him, even though over the hours she had started to soften. He grabbed my arm! Was she being silly? Maybe, but she wanted this anger and so she didn't acknowledge him, and instead asked, "Is Noah asleep?"

He paced himself. She was still upset and he would give her that. Besides, it wasn't exactly unearned on his part. "He went down about fifteen minutes ago… Olivia, can I-"

"I'm gonna take a bath and go to bed." She said heading for the stairs and ascending them.

A few minutes later, when Peter was in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner, Olivia entered wearing her bathrobe with her hair up in a bun. She didn't speak to Peter, just walked past him as she went to the refrigerator for something to drink.

"I could have brought you something to drink."

"I got it."

Try again Peter. "Noah and I had dinner from the diner we love so much… I know how much you love greek salad," he said, but Olivia got what she came for, deciding on a bottle of water and closed the refrigerator.

"I can't eat raw onions, they make me vomit. Besides I at at the precinct.

"I can't seem to get anything right today!" He said as he went to grab the salad from the fridge and threw it out, then walked out of the kitchen.

Olivia didn't want to have to say anything to him, she was still mad and wanted to carry out her anger whether or not it was necessary, but her heart got the better of her.

"Peter, it's okay," she said as she caught up to him by the staircase. "...they're just onions."

He took a seat at the bottom of the stairs as tears fell from his eyes."It's not about the onions. Liv, I was an ass for handling you like I did. That isn't who I am and I need you to know that.'

"You don't think that I know that much about you?" Her eyes got teary at that point.

"I let my insecurities get the better of me; but it really hit me when you walked out just how stupid I was being."

She sat beside him. "Honestly, you had every right… not the grabbing me part, but the fact is, I did lie to you. I did it with good intentions but it comes down to, I should have told you about David and him about you a lot sooner. I brought this whole thing on us and I'm sorry." She said as he took her hand, entwining their fingers.

"...between Noah putting it in my head that we were getting a divorce-"

"What?"

"He noticed how we'd been avoiding each other this morning and he thought we were breaking up. I did the fatherly thing and told him not to worry, but inside I was a mess! I thought the whole rest of the day, what if she leaves me? Try keeping yourself together when your thoughts are beating the hell out of you,"

"Kids certainly have a way of making us look at a situation," she said. "But you know that that would never happen,"

Without judgment, "A lot's happened that I never thought would."

She sat there quietly for a moment, absorbing what he said. "I deserve that,"

"It's not a discernment on you, Liv. I just, I wanna put this behind us, I do, but I need to know that all this with David is finished."

"As far as I'm concerned, it was finished the last time I talked to him in DC. It's why I didn't tell you about any of it in the first place- and that isn't an excuse, but I didn't think about him or that situation again. I had gotten the answers to those questions I had so long ago, and I thought it was done. Peter, this; what we have is my life, my present and future… I knew in my heart when I said yes to you that I was ready to give myself. Peter, you are everything to me and we don't have to let this change that."

"Can we rewind?"

"...wipe out that week I went to DC?"

"Mostly…" he said grinning. She hit him playfully on the chest, then he lovingly kissed her hand as she lay her head on his shoulder. He bowed his head and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "Tell me you love me?" He implored, as he looked in her eyes, searching them.

"Of course I love you…only you." She said softly as she kissed his lips hungrily.

"Say it again,"

"I love only you…" he took her lips again, "only you, Peter… only ever you!" She whispered as they kissed.

"Can I join you in the tub?" Peter said, their foreheads touching.

"I thought you'd never ask!" She smiled. He kissed her once more before she stood up, taking his hand. He stood to his full height and looked down at her again to kiss her before she led him upstairs.

…

The next morning, Peter and Olivia were blissfully asleep in bed when Noah knocked before coming in.

"Mom, dad, come on," he said, bouncing on the bed on his knees, "I'm gonna be late for school!"

"You're not going to be late," Peter said, opening his eyes and glancing at the clock. "Lucy's taking you, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Noah giggled as he bounced" well, Good morning anway," Noah smiled as peter sat up. "My watch says we have…"

Olivia woke up, "Noah, how about you don't do that?" She said, cutting him off before she started to feel sick as Noah counted the watch dial slowly.

"...forty minutes left," Noah was proudly just learning to tell analog time and looking at his wrist watch that Peter had given him. "its seven-" counting the dial again, "...twenty. I already dressed…"

"...and had blueberries for breakfast apparently," Peter laughed, looking at Noah's messily stained face and shirt.

"...and strawberries," he grinned.

"Noah…" Olivia scolded as she woke up fully, seeing the mess about Noah and sighing. "Go on, grab a fresh shirt and I'll get you cleaned up,'' she got out of bed, pulling on her silk robe as the hem of her gown fell around her ankles.

"You want me to go?" Peter asked.

"It's okay, I got it." She said and kissed him.

"Well, I'm gonna start the shower… you wanna join me?"

"Hold that thought," she smiled, then kissed him again before she turned to leave the room.

"Hey…" he called and she turned around. "I love you."

"And I love you." She said, just as Noah quickly scurried down the hall to his room with a big smile on his face.

In his bathroom, Noah was sitting on the counter while Olivia went over his face with a washcloth.

"All clean. Now you just have to brush your teeth."

"Mom…" Noah called as he reached over the sink to grab his toothbrush and the toothpaste. "I'm glad you and daddy are friends again."

"Me too, Bug. You know, sometimes people are gonna fight with their words, but it doesn't always mean that they hate wach other."

"Like how you said that people can disagree and still be friends?"

"Just like that, sweet boy. Your dad and me, sometimes we're gonna disagree, but you never have to worry about us, okay?"

"That's a good thing, my life is busy!" He said and olivia laughed.

"I love you baby!"

"I love you too, mommy." Just then they heard the apartment door open and close.

"Hello?" Lucy called from downstairs.

"Lucy!" Noah said excitedly, and started to run to her.

"Finish your teeth!" Olivia laughed and left the room, going downstairs.

"Hey Olivia, good morning." Lucy said, removing her jacket.

"Hey, Noah's brushing his teeth then he's all yours. I'm gonna grab a shower; oh, and the kitchen may or may not be a mess, but if it is, I've got it so dont worry."

…

A bit later at the precinct, Olivia has just entered the squad room carrying a cup of tea and in an obviously happy mood.

"Hey Cap, good mornin," Carisi greeted.

"Wow, you look in a way better mood than yesterday." Fin noticed. Everything about her just screamed jubilation.

"I am in a better mood, thank you. "Carisi, when Rollins gets in, please head down to the ME's office and see if that report is back."

"You got it, boss,"

"Thanks, I'll be in my office. When the chief gets here, show him in."

"Will do," Fin said, "oh, and you got that interview at 11 with officer Tamin,"

"I trust your judgment. You conduct the interview, and if you think she's a good hire, I'll sign off on it."

"Say no more." And he answered a call which turned out to be for another department as Olivia went to her office and shut the door.

"How much does she love you that you get hiring status?" Carisi said in pleasant disbelief. Fin just shook his head and laughed.

Still later that morning at the Park Lane hotel, in his suite, David was going over some files while on the phone. "She doesn't need my money, she's doing this to get back at me, the prenup states… I don't care, I just want this to go away, Jonathan. Make it happen as quietly as possible… yes…"

There was a sudden knock at the door, and David got up to answer. "Yes, I hear you, listen I will be back in DC tomorrow we'll talk then." He hung up and tossed the phone to the couch before opening the door. He looked down the hall one way and then the other and saw nothing. Before he went back in the room, he looked down and saw a little box, white, in front of the door.

"What the…?" He said as picked up the box. There was a ribbon on it. David untied the ribbon out from the box and opened it as he closed the door. Inside was a small cake, baked in the shape of a- a penis? It had a plastic knife and fork placed to one side of it, with a note on the other.

Especially for you!

Was all the note said, but David could just guess who it was from. Peter, "Son of a bitch!" He glowered with a yell as he threw the cake against the wall

…

Just past lunchtime in her office, Olivia was walking around and talking rather animatedly while she held a call on speaker. Carisi, instead of doing work, sat watching her from the windows in the bullpen.

"She must be mad," Carisi said as he made his way to his desk with his meatball sub. I swear she's like an Italian, you can gauge her level of upset by her hands…" he observed, watching her practically sign the conversation she was having. "That's the higher ups for you."

"You really have nothing better to do?" Amanda asked, trying not to laugh at him.

"I got plenty…" He said with a mouthfull of sandwich, just as Fin walked in with a cup of tea.

"Don't tell me you guys are still watching Liv?" He said as he took a seat behind his desk and began again the work he'd abandoned when he went on a tea break. Carisi followed suit back to his own. He was still watching Olivia as she seemed to calm down and sit down at her desk.

"I wasn't, but this guy and his stories…" Amanda said as she threw a balled-up sheet of paper at Carisi's head, that missed terribly, landing in his lap.

"Best shooter in the city, but zero aim with a ball of paper?" He joked as he threw the paper in his trash can.

"How about you make it a gun?" Rollins joked back, laughing silently as she answered her desk phone. "Rollins, Special Victims Unit…"

"We're gonna have to separate the two of you." Fin laughed.

"...yes, commissioner." Olivia grumpily acquiesced. "I'll see to it, sir." She sat at her desk and ended the call, feeling a tension headache coming on. One thing she'd never get used to was the politics of this job. She hated it so much, that today was one of many where she wondered why the hell she continued to stay as she massaged her temples for relief.

After a moment, she leaned back in her chair. She was also having an extreme bout of nausea and she breathed a few deep, calming breaths while she absent-mindedly rested her hand on her stomach to try to calm it down. Just then, Fin came in with a knock.

"Hey, thought you could use some ginger ale."

"I can, you read my mind." She said, happily taking the beverage and taking a couple sips.

"How is the little one so far."

"Making me feel really nauseous, but I'm just really thankful that he or she is here." She said just as her phone ring.

"You take that, I'm gonna get back to babysitting those two," he laughed, and left.

She froze as she reached for it, seeing that it was her doctor's office. She took a deep breath, praying silently before she answered.

"Olivia, do you have time to talk?" Dr. Carlisle asked. Olivia was totally caught off guard, both unexpecting and now hoping that Dr. Carlisle wasn't calling about the test results. She had grown accustomed to living in her little bubble with her healthy baby where nothing was wrong. Now, she was terrified that Dr. Carlisle was calling to dash those dreams.

"I… yes, I'm sorry," Olivia said, getting her bearings about her.

"Good. I'm calling because-"

"...you have the test results…uh, can I get Peter on the call? I need to get Peter…" Funny, almost fifty years on this planet and she can't recall a time where she ever felt so completely helpless; and she'd been in some serious situations in her lifetime.

A few minutes passed on and Carisi finally stopped watching the office.

"That's odd…"

"I gotta go pump," Amanda said laughing. She was fully exhausted from listening to Carisi and was so happy that she was about to leak as she made her way to the break room.

Carisi rolled his eyes playfully as she went. "...so nobody cares that cap's in there cryin?"

That caught Fin's attention and he stopped what he was doing." You sure?"

"Look…" Carisi said, indicating towards the office. "What should I do?"

"Nothing." Fin said as he got up and walked to Liv's office, knocking and not waiting for an answer as he went in and began closing the blinds, much to Carisi's chagrin. "Liv…"

She was getting her things together, stunned and in tears, and didn't hear Fin as she was lost in her head. He approached her desk, calling softly.

"Liv?"

"That was the doctor, the tests came back and…Fin, the baby's okay!"

"My god Liv, that's great!" He said, hugging her.

Wiping her eyes, she looked at him. "I've gotta tell Peter. I'm gonna take the rest of the day, can you…"

"Of course, go, and congratulations Liv, I really mean that."

She hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

It had taken twenty minutes to get to Peter's office. That was the downside of him leaving the DAs office. What used to be just a quick walk around the corner was now a trip. A ten-minute car ride, if traffic was willing. Now, just after two o'clock, she rushed up to his office just as fast as her stiletto-clad feet could carry her.

"Tanya, is he in?" She asked his secretary as she arrived outside his office.

Tanya, surprised that Olivua was now standing in front of her when she'd just talked to her twenty minutes ago…

"Mrs. Stone, I didn't… He's just finishing up in the meeting but he should be along any minute now. Olivia looked nervously from the clock on the wall to the watch on her wrist. "Why don't you wait in his office and relax. He shouldn't be long."

"Thank you," Olivia said as Tanya showed her inside Peter's office. She must have been waiting all of a few minutes when she couldn't stand sitting anymore and got up, going to pour a drink of water. She took her glass over to the giant windows that covered the wall and looked out at the people on the plaza. Turning up the glass, she suddenly heard the door cylinder click and turned around to see Peter entering the office.

"This is a surprise" he smiled as she came to him and threw herself in his arms. "Hey," he said, holding her close. "Whatever it is, it's gonna be alright."

"I can't get these damn tears to stop…"

"Baby why are you crying?"

Olivia pulled away from him, her eyes full of tears that she tried to wipe away. "The doctor called,"

The words they had been anxiously awaiting, and yet dreading all the same, though Peter wouldn't admit it to Olivia.

"And?"

"...and, I tried to get you on the phone but you were in-"

"Liv, I love you, truly. But please, what did she say?"

She smiled as she placed his hands on her stomach, looking so happy as she looked up into his eyes. "We have a healthy baby!"

"Oh my god," He cried, relieved as he hugged her. He couldn't speak for a moment as tears ran down his face, but he let them fall as he kissed her so sweetly, leaning forward so their foreheads touched. "I love you so much!" He whispered, his hands cupping her face.

"I love you too!"

"How about we pick Noah up and finally tell him?" Olivia nodded through her tears.

"Oh, I'd like that a lot!" She said as she caressed his beautiful face. "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

"Still scared?"

"Not anymore, and not with you by my side." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm.

"Can we tell the office?"

"How about tomorrow? Right now, I just want to tell our son and see his face when he realizes that he's finally gonna be a big brother."

…

Later that evening at the apartment, Liv and Peter had just finished going over Noah's homework with him and decided that now was the right time to tell him.

"...and we're done!" Peter said as he got up, heading toward the kitchen. "You guys want anything while I'm up?"

"No thanks babe," Olivia said as she closed Noah's books.

"Chocolate ice cream, please."

"Nice try buddy. No more chocolate ice cream for the day."

Noah grunted playfully as Peter messed his hair.

"I love it when you guys both help me with my homework."

"Secret between us?" She asked as Noah very excitedly nodded. "We do too. Spending time with you, even if it's just doing homework, is so important to us, both."

"Really?"

"Cross my heart. But, you know, if we do end up giving you that brother or sister you've been wanting, it won't be just you anymore, you'll have to share your dad and me."

Noah had to think for a moment. "I don't mind… You guys have enough love for us both, right?"

"Of course we do. And, you'll always hold a special place, being the oldest."

Noah smiled at this thought. "Is that true, Dad? Will I hold a special place cuz I'll be the oldest?"

"Sure will. You'll be the one to teach your baby brother or sister everything. In fact…" he said, smiling at Olivia as he took a seat beside her on the couch and put his water down on the coffee table. "We want to talk to you about something."

"Is it about dad adopting me?" Noah asked, he had gotten himself so excited. "Is the red tape done?"

"We're hoping that it happens soon, but, no, Bug. But, we've got something a little better," Olivia said.

"What could be better than Peter becoming my real dad?"

"Hey, when we sign those papers, it'll be one of the happiest days of my life, but it'll just be a formality. As far as I'm concerned, you already are my son, in every way that matters."

"Really?"

"Really truly." Peter swore with his pinky. "But, you know how you've wanted to be a big brother for a really long time?"

"Yeah, but you and mommy never tell me when it's gonna happen…is it gonna happen? I hate being an only kid!"

"Well, we want you to hear something," Olivia said. She put the fetal doppler on her stomach and moved it around until it picked up a heartbeat, then turned up the sound. A loud sound, almost like horses galloping filled the room.

Noah listened to the sound for a moment, and when he couldnt place it, he asked them both, "What is it?" Olivia's eyes filled with tears.

"That is the heartbeat of your little brother or sister… We're having a baby."

Noah looked back and forth from Olivia to Peter several times in disbelief before he started to sob. This alarmed them both as Olivia called to him.

"Noah, baby…"

"I'm so happy!" He cried as he threw his arms around his mother's middle and cried on her stomach. "I don't even care if you're a brother or sister, I can wait for you to come!" He said to her stomach as he continued to cry.

…

TBC…