Chapter 22, continued…

Donna and Det. Short had come to their door, telling them a story that they still can't get over; especially Peter. He'd had a little boy, a beautiful little boy who'd spent his whole life not knowing that there was a father who would've loved him more than anything, but he'd never been given the chance to by the boy's mother. He's tried to wrap his head around it, but he still can't fathom why Jana would have kept something so life changing, and so important from him; this was his son!

He didn't know Jana well. The two months that they were involved were nothing more than sex.

Six years ago, he was ready to marry the woman he thought he'd spend his life with, then out of nowhere, she dumped him. Needless to say, it hit him hard and a year later, he was still in a bad place emotionally. Maybe it was stupid of him to hold onto her memory as if she were some saint, when in fact, she broke his heart. But, because he loved her, getting over what he thought they had was harder than hed thought it could be.

A year after that, he met Jana during this period if his life. It wasn't a relationship by any means; at least not in his eyes. He had sworn to never get involved that way with another woman, he'd been hurt too bad by Caroline, and Jana, like the many other women he'd drowned himself in was just something to pass the time. He'd go to her place, or she'd come to his, they'd have sex but never went out on dates or anything formal like that. He ended it when he found out that she had a substance abuse problem. He wouldn't put himself in the presence of anything stronger than Marijuana, hell, he smoked it occasionally to unwind, but what he found out she was into, it was definitely stronger than weed.

She had come over late one night for a booty call and they were in bed. He lifted her foot to kiss it and there they were, in between her toes, track marks. He immediately stopped, having lost his libido.

"What the fuck is this?" He asked, holding her foot up.

"What…?" She asked, defensively. She didn't see the reason why he had such an issue, and it had suddenly hit him to check the other foot. He braced it, spreading her toes and for sure, there it was. He'd been sleeping with a junkie?! Sometimes unprotected, like tonight? He practically flew, he jumped back and out of bed so fast, his limp dick swinging. "Are you kidding me, Peter?" she was actually laughing. "Dude, it's not a big deal."

He'd never seen her again after that night. He'd heard that she'd moved away from Chicago, but he was just glad that he got her out of his life with no repercussions as far as STDs, and he moved onward with his life. He continued to do exceptionally well at the Cook County's State's Attorney's office until he got word that his father had died. He went home for Ben's funeral and suddenly he was moving there, back to New York City.

Who knew that that one decision would bring him the peace he had been searching for? The moment he met Olivia Benson, something in his soul told him that she was the one, although the circumstances under which they met were less than optimal. Slowly, the more they worked together, he saw that that feeling he'd gotten upon first meeting her was right; this move brought him his smart, beautiful, loving wife and his son who he adored and now a baby that he'd soon meet in a few short months. He never thought about anything from his past, certainly not the women he spent time with, and definitely not what may have resulted from those hookups.

When the NYPD found Jana unresponsive in her crashed car that night, her son was with her, in the back seat, but thankfully he was strapped into a car seat. When they'd accessed her medical records and saw that she had Peter Stone listed as her emergency contact, they went from there. Unfortunately, she died from her injuries. She had been high when she sped through a red light and was plowed by a garbage truck.

"...no, I'll go tonight. This can't wait another minute!" He'd said when Det. Short proposed him getting a paternity test in the morning. "Let me get my coat and we'll go…"

Peter, trying to process all of this, got the paternity test that same night. Before he left, he asked Olivia to please stay here…

"One of us needs to be here," he said after kissing her hands. "Today was a big day and he ate so much junk food. I know he's gonna wake up with a stomach ache…"

In the meantime, as soon as the little boy had been medically cleared, Peter had gotten ACS to release the child into his custody while they waited for the test to come back. By the time Peter walked in the door to the apartment, it was 1:14am, and sleeping on his shoulder, he carried a small child. Kevin had given him a ride back and now he walked in the door to silence. He stopped there in the entryway, and let out a deep breath. It had been a long night, and he just wanted his wife; to melt into her arms and have her tell him that everything would be okay, because right now, it felt like anything but that. And now he had this child at least for a couple of days and he hadn't thought how any of this would fare with his wife.

"You sure you don't need me to stay?" Kevin asked as he sat the carseat down by the door. Peter had asked Olivia to stay behind while he handled this. It was already so late. "I think you might need some backup when Olivia sees what you bought home with you," he said, referring to the tiny child in Peter's arms.

Peter had to laugh at the irony of it all. He'd called Kevin from the hospital where they'd administered the test, and when he got there, Peter explained the situation as best he could. Kevin didn't give an ounce of judgement, he was simply there for Peter, and that meant more than anything. He even called his assistant and had him buy a car seat and bring it down to them at ACS.

"Can I call you if I need to?"

"Is that even a question? You know you got me, brother." Kevin said as he patted Peter's back and walked out of the door.

Sighing quietly, Peter put the baby's bag beside the door with the carseat before he slipped off his own coat and hung it on the rack and then gently took off the baby's coat and hat before he made his way into the apartment. He entered the living room when he noticed the lights on and saw Noah asleep on the couch, curled up with a blanket. He had to stop a moment and just look at him. He loved that little boy so damn much and felt so sorry that he'd brought all this into his and Olivia's life. Quickly his eyes were drawn to the coffee table…what was Noah's inhaler doing out?

Suddenly Olivia entered the room from the direction of the kitchen, carrying a mug of tea that she suddenly lost her taste for. "Peter?"

"Is Noah alright? What happened?" He asked near a whisper. She mimicked him so as not to wake Noah.

"Um…like clockwork, he woke up with that stomach ache," she said, laughing uncomfortably as she stared. "He threw up and felt better but then his asthma … he's fine now, but I had to let him wait out here for you, he wouldn't compromise."

He was holding a sleeping child in his arms. She could see that he had dark, wild wavy hair and a bandaid on the brow of his beautiful sleeping face. Her heart melted at the sight of him, and with sympathetic tears in her eyes…

"Is that him?"

Peter let a few tears slip, "I know that we don't know if he's mine yet, but I couldn't…"

"Peter, it's okay." She said, and she meant it as she looked at the child. He seemed so tiny in Peter's arms, and she couldn't resist."can I…?" She asked, holding out her arms. Without hesitation, Peter transferred the boy to her arms, careful of her bump, and watched as she held him close and rocked him. "I remember when Noah was this small," she said, already falling in love with this little person.

As Olivia held the sleeping child. She remembered not too long ago when Noah was this little and helpless, and she couldn't imagine him having been left alone in the world without her.

"What's his name?" She asked as she ran her fingers through his thick mane.

"Indigo…Indigo James Eastman." He said with a flinch. "Stone if the test comes back…" just then, Noah began to stir in his sleep.

"Daddy?" Noah called sleepily, looking up at Peter with a smile. "You're home!"

"I am," he said and picked Noah up, teary eyed. Noah lay his head down on Peter's shoulder, he was still so sleepy! "Somebody tells me you weren't feeling too well."

Noah, embarrassed, said to Peter, "I threw up on mommy…"

"I'm sure Mommy's not mad." Peter told him, just as Noah saw Olivia holding a child out of the corner of his eye and quickly shifted his focus. "Daddy, who's Mommy holding?"

Peter was unsure of exactly what to say as he looked at Olivia.

"Hey, my sweet boy," Olivia said as she came over and rubbed Noah's curls. "Why don't we get into that tomorrow, but he's gonna be staying with us while we get some things worked out. Is that okay?"

"Can he sleep in my room? He could have the bottom bunk."

…

A bit later, after Noah went back to sleep, Peter and Olivia had put both children to bed. Now they had came out of Noah's room, leaving the door ajar.

"Thank you." Peter said to Olivia as they stood there in the hall outside Noah's door.

"For what?" She asked, stretching her back.

"I don't know… I guess for understanding why I had to take him before the test results-"

"That little boy, whether he knows it or not, lost everything tonight." She then said as they walked to their bedroom. "I understand you wanting to soften that for him, and I also understand that you'd feel terrible leaving him in case he is your son." She shut the door partway, leaving it open a crack so they could hear Indigo. She wouldn't lie if he'd asked her, she had missed things like this and thought it would be a while before this baby was old enough.

"Liv, if you want to back out of this, I won't blame you…I couldn't. I know I dropped the ball and that's on me, but just…"

"You silly man, do you really think I'd end us over something like this? I'll admit, it's a lot to take in…" she took a seat in one of the chairs in their room. She needed to take some of the pressure off her back.

"...and I'm I'm so sorry for that,"

"Peter, no…"

"I should've known about Indigo, but I didn't. I should've known and given you a choice when I asked you to marry me and to trust me with our son."

"Honey there's no way that you could've known,"

"I just want to shake Jana and ask her what the hell she was doing in keeping him from me. Sitting in that precinct and waiting for the doctor to administer the DNA test… Liv, this feeling of dread sunk in and I haven't stopped thinking, what if he's mine? What if all this time I've had a child out there that I didn't know about?"

Peter's mind was a mess, still. She'd seen the confusion, shock and then pain that registered when they first told him all of this and it was all still there.

"Baby, you're doing exactly what you should be doing; you're here for Indigo now. I know it doesn't make up for the past, but you're here now and no matter what the test says, you'll always know that you did the right thing for him."

"It's gonna change our lives forever. Are you sure that you're ready to do that? Because I need you to make sure that you understand what you're getting into,"

"I'm getting into standing by my husband- and hello?" She said, pointing to her belly. "...nothing's more life-changing than what we've already set out on; you adopted our son today. Indigo's almost 4 years old, I wasn't even a thought when he came about,"

Peter got up from the floor, and he walked back and forth across the room. He was just so mad at Jana, at this whole situation and he started to finally crack.

"She left a letter behind… it said "I never told you about him, but I can't do this you're his father, take him!" That's it, that's the letter; can you believe it? The cops think she was on her way to find me and drop Indigo and the letter off, but she got high and ran that red light,"

"With Indigo in the car…" Olivia whispered. She felt sick, just like every time she came across this sort of case at work- the mother or parent didn't care that the child was in the vicinity when they got high, and it led to disaster. In this case, Jana died.

His tears began and he didn't try to stop them, he didn't even bother wiping them away. "What do I tell that kid when he wakes up tomorrow and asks about where she is? Liv, I'm not ready for any of this," his voice cracked as he cried. "I didn't ask for a child outside of this relationship, just like I didn't ask to have to explain to a three year old why his piece-of-shit mother is gone and he's gonna be waking up with strangers in the morning!"

"Peter…" she said softly as she went to him trying to calm him. She touched his face and he looked at her, tears falling down his face. He was just so angry.

"This isn't the life I wanted for you and Noah…I'm sorry, I fucked up. You don't know how hard I wish I could go back…" he cried as he came into her arms and she tried to quiet him as she soothed him.

"Listen to me," she said as she forced him to look at her. "I'm alright, and Noah, he's just happy to have another kid around. You saw him, he was ecstatic."

Peter smiled through his tears. "He's pretty good like that, isn't he?"

"He is," she smiled. "And this isn't the end of the world. So we have our plans altered, but we already did. We were supposed to have another year before we even began trying to conceive this one, and it wasn't supposed to be me carrying it; we got lucky. Maybe this is just another part of that luck. Right now, that child, that beautiful little boy is sleeping in the next room and he didn't ask for any of this but it is what it is, for all of us. And baby, if it turns out that he is yours, we have to do everything we can to raise him like he's a part of this and to make him feel loved and safe and protected because he's gonna need it."

"How can you be so accepting of this? And why are you so amazing?"

"I'm not,"

"You are," he cried, "and I don't deserve you. If I lived a thousand years, I would have never done enough to deserve you!" And he kissed her lips, with tears sliding down his face. "I love you so much!" He whispered.

"I love you too," she whispered back to him as they continued kissing. He gently grabbed her around the neck and drew her head back, taking her mouth as he wrapped his tongue around hers. That had her wet for him so fast as they kissed. "Oh god, but I need to tell you something…"

"Please…I need you right now!" He caressed her neck with his lips as he bunched her gown and reached between her legs into her panties.

"You have me, Peter! I'm not going anywhere. I promise…aaahhhhhh!" She cried as his fingers went inside her and the heel of his palm began to rub her clit.

"So wet…"

She had to tell him what she'd learned while he was out, but, but… They continued to make love, lying side by side until just like that night last year when in his office, there in their bed, he cried as he, growling like a beast, rutted hard into her then came, collapsing beside her and breathing hard before he was in tears that wouldn't stop.

"Peter…" she whispered as she held his trembling body. "Baby, it's gonna be okay." But he was sobbing at this point, and curled tighter against her as she kissed his head. "Just let it out!"

Later, around 3am in Noah's room, Indigo sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and looked around the strange-night-lit-room he was in.

"I gotta pee!" He said out loud to find no answer. He didn't know where he was, or at least where the bathroom was and he started to cry. He knew his mother would beat him good if he wet himself, so he didn't want to do that, but he had to go so badly and he began to cry even more.

Noah, who's usually a dead sleeper, heard him and immediately looked under his bunk, and saw the child crying. "Hey…" Noah whispered to Indigo as he hung down off his bunk and landed on the bottom, sitting in front of the child. Indigo was so happy to know that he wasn't alone, but this was unusual. He'd never woken up to see another child before. But maybe he knew where he could relieve himself, and he threw himself at Noah, hugging him tight.

This was different. Noah thought as he hugged the boy back to comfort him. "It's okay. Why are you crying?" He asked, yawning as he pulled away.

"I have ta pee." Indigo said in the tiniest, nervous voice.

"I can take you to do that. Come on." Noah said as he helped Indigo down and took him by the hand, leading him to the bathroom attached to his room as Indigo sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Can you reach?" He asked when they arrived, seeing how short Indigo was.

"Yes, I got it," Indigo said and dropped his pants, and Noah quickly turned his back to him. A moment later Indigo finished and Noah held him up to the sink while he washed his hands. "What's yaw name?" Indigo asked, rinsing the lather.

"My name is Noah, what's yours?" Noah asked as he let Indigo down after he finished with his hands.

"Inda-go." The child whispered.

"Nice to meet you Indigo." Noah said as he dried Indigo's hands. "You're gonna be staying in my room for a while."

"Why?"

"I don't really know." He said honestly, "but we can ask my mom and dad in the morning."

Made sense. "Okay." Indigo said nonchalant before Noah helped him back in bed and under the covers, then started to climb up to his own bunk.

"Noah. I'm scawwy!"

Noah paused, then went up the ladder to grab Eddie and came back down. "Here, his name is Eddie and he's my friend. He won't let anything get you, he's really brave."

"Weally?" Indigo smiled, mesmerized by the old, worn elephant.

"Really." This made Indigo happy, and he took Eddie from Noah's hand and hugged him, holding him tight.

"Can I keep him?" He asked. He'd never had a stuffed animal, or even a toy before.

Noah wasn't sure he was ready for that kind of commitment. So, he said what he thought would be easier for him and Indigo to deal with. "No…but you can use him for as long as you need to."

That sounded like a pretty good plan to Indigo. "Okay." He said, now happy that he had two new friends in this place.

"You good now?" Noah asked the child who was already on his way to sleep.

"I'm good now. 'night Noe…" he whispered.

"Goodnight Indigo, see you in the morning." and Noah finally climbed up to his bed and got under the covers. He was barely able to keep his eyes open and quickly fell back asleep.

…

Early next morning after scribbling a quick note to Olivia to let her know where he'd be, Peter looked in on the boys before he went downstairs to the gym at 5am and poured all of his emotion into a workout. ACS wouldn't go into detail because they hadn't gotten proof that he was the father. But he just knew that there was more that would give him justification for hating this woman.

At seven o'clock Peter headed upstairs, coming into the apartment to silence. He went and sat his empty water bottle in the kitchen before he went upstairs into the bedroom and stripped off his shirt, going into the bathroom to shower.

A half hour or so later, Peter emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and shaved and drying his hair with a towel. He looked to the bed and saw Olivia get up, looking exhausted.

"Good morning,"

"Not yet, I really need to pee!" She uttered sleepily as she hurried to the bathroom.

Peter tossed the towel he was drying his hair with, then stripped off his bathrobe and put on underwear before sliding into sweats and an old raglan tee shirt. He was putting on socks when Olivia re-appeared rubbing lotion onto her hands.

"This baby has declared my bladder its sworn enemy! Feeling better?" She asked him as he palmed her belly and kissed him sweetly on the lips.

"I'll feel a lot better once we get the DNA results, but I am less ill than I was last night… I'd ask how's the baby this morning, but I think I'll pass," he laughed.

"I'd go through it twice more if I could have this joy all over again," she smiled. He could feel the baby moving about beneath his hand and couldn't help but join her in her glee.

"Even though…?"

"Especially though. Our baby may be getting two big brothers instead of one, I'd say this baby will be so ridiculously loved… Just a few more months, your dad and I can't wait to meet you, little one."

"This baby's gonna know from the moment she enters the world how much we love her and that we'd do anything in the world for her…" Olivia lifted his head to look at her.

"He already does," she grinned.

"You couldn't just let me have that, even this once, could you?" He laughed.

"No, I couldn't, but I do love you!" She laughed, brushing her lips against his. "Speaking of the children, honey, we need to talk."

"This is about Indigo?"

"It is. I made some calls after you left last night and found out some things about his mother that I knew ACS wouldn't tell you since they don't know yet if you're his father."

"Do I want to know this?"

"No, but I think it's best that you do. You're going to need to understand why Indigo may behave how he may behave."

"She abused him, didn't she?"

"She lived in Dallas, Texas. But Indigo was born in Chicago. She ran and moved to Texas right after he was born with drugs in his system. Her parents disowned her, they had for years. She stayed in Texas the first two years of his life and in those two years there were multiple…" There were tears in her voice. "...reports of serious injuries to him; burns, bruises, broken bones…"

"He's just a baby, how could she possibly…?"

Wiping her eyes of the tears that had fallen, she sadly continued. "I don't know the answer to that; just that people do things that are sometimes unthinkable." More tears… "Just like I don't know how she got out of so many investigations from children's services, but she finally decided to leave after his second birthday. They ended up in Florida with more drug arrests for her, more injuries for Indigo and uninvestigated reports of child abuse. She finally ended up here, the night they found her in her car."

Peter stood up and couldn't think as he turned from one end to another. He didn't know what to say, or how to be as his tears fell. "...and nobody helped him? Nobody…"

He had never hit a woman, but God, he would surely make an exception for Jana right now. To bring Indigo into the world… not only did she not tell him that his child existed, but she didn't do a parent's job. She didn't do everything in her power to see to it that Indigo was safe and cared for. What was he going through all those years? Suffering his almost four years of life going through the hell that was his mother and her addiction.

His phone rang out of the blue and it startled him as he and Olivia wiped their eyes.

"Do you think it's the test results?" Olivia asked him.

Peter just looked at her with sad, nervous, teary eyes. "I dont know." He said unsure as he braced himself and answered. "Hello… yes, this is Peter Stone…"

Olivia stood there against the foot of the bed staring pensively. The palpability of this moment seeming unreal.

"…they are? And what did the results…" Olivia came closer as he listened and whatever the person on the other end of the phone said, Peter had tears in his eyes. "Yes, yes…thank you for calling." When he ended the call, shocked, he sat down on the bed and let out a deep breath as tears dropped. He reached for Olivia's hand, and realizing that wasn't enough, he quickly pulled her body against him and hugged her middle.

"Peter…"

"He's my son." He said, in a state of disbelief and so many feelings that he couldn't place yet. But he was certain of one thing; Indigo was safe now, and they'd never let anyone hurt him again.

Imagine their surprise when the door opened, and Indigo was standing there.

"Indigo…" Olivia said nervously, alerting Peter that they had company. "Good morning." She said as she slowly went toward him.

"Good morning," he near-whispered in his faint little voice. "Aw you Noah's mommy?"

"I am," she smiled as she looked at Peter and then back at Indigo, then got down on her knees. "My name is Olivia. So, you met Noah?"

"Uh huh, he gabe this to me," Indigo said, holding Eddie close to his chest.

"He did?"

"Yes, but only ta bowwow,"

She smiled, thinking that would be Noah. "That was very nice of him," Olivia said as she looked at Peter. They knew what Eddie meant to Noah, and the fact that he gave him to Indigo had them so proud of him.

"...this is Peter," Peter watched the two of them from where he sat. He was just so intimidated by this little boy.

"Like a wabbit," Indigo giggled. Making Olivia chuckle and even Peter had to laugh.

He came across the room and knelt down, like Olivia was. "Hi Indigo," he had tears as he reached out to touch the child. This was his son and he just wanted to smother him with all the love he never got to give him. But Indigo backed away from him fast, hiding behind the door frame and peaking the very tip of his head out while he squeezed Eddie.

"Hey, it's okay, little man. I promise, I won't hurt you… I'd never hurt you." He said, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes. Olivia watched them as her hands traveled her belly, her own eyes filled with tears.

Indigo poked his head out further, and spoke so lightly it was as if he hadn't. "You won't?"

"I won't." Peter promised. "Can you come a little closer?" He asked.

Indigo thought about it, looked down the hall. He wanted to run to Noah, and he and Eddie just hide under the covers. But then he remembered what Noah said, Eddie was brave and he wouldn't let anything bad get him. With that in mind, he took a careful step out from behind the door and once he was in full view, he hugged the elephant and whispered something to him before he slowly walked over to Peter. When he was a foot away from him, he stopped cold and stood there for a moment looking Peter over.

"Hi." The lower part of his face was concealed by Eddie.

Peter had to fight himself not to cry, a battle he was losing terribly but he didn't care. "Hi," he said with a smile. "Would it be alright if I touched your hand?"

Apprehensive, but trusting Peter to keep his word that he wouldn't hurt him, Indigo held out his arm to Peter who immediately took his little hand in his. The vibration he felt was like magic and when he looked at Indigo, he could see so much of himself that he did see before. The mouth, the hazel eyes, Indigo even had his ears…holy shit!

"It's very nice to meet you Indigo," damn if he could get through this without so many tears…

"Aw you Noah's daddy?"

"That's right, but you wanna know what else?" Peter said.

"What?"

"I'm also your daddy."

Indigo looked confused ar the man in front of him. "...but I don't hab a daddy."

Peter looked to Olivia with sadness covering both their faces. "I know you thought that, Champ. I didn't know about you either," he said as he started to weep. "And I'm so sorry that it took me so long, but I'm gonna make it up to you, and from now on, youll be safe and you are going to have the best life!"

Indigo looked at Peter then at Olivia as he squeezed Eddie. He was slowly trying to wrap his little head around everything, the biggest thing being that he had a daddy, and his daddy was going to protect him. He looked again at Peter.

"Olibia…?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Can I keep Noah?"

Olivia laughed sweetly at Indigo's question. "I think Noah would love it if you kept him!" She said as she caressed his face. "So would it be alright, if you stayed here with us?"

Just then, Noah came into their room rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Noe!" Indigo squealed as he ran and hugged Noah.

"Good morning. Mom, daddy, why are you guys on the floor?"

"Good morning, bud. why don't you come over here," Peter said gesturing Noah who now had Indigo on him. "I wanna tell you something."

…

Tbc…