Rei: Oh HELL yeah you guys are AWESOME! Hugs reviewers I just came back from vacation and those of you who wished me well are freaking awesome! And so are my other reviewers too. Thanks so much, I'm glad you are enjoying my randomness (or you might say Yuffie's) and the humor. I love entertaining people. W00t!

As for a further note I must say I have dreamt so much this past week… And most of it was about FFVII! I was like HOLY SHIT! In one, I had identity crisis and thought I was Yuffie but when other people looked at me they thought I was Sephiroth… And I ran into Vinnie after going down a waterfall! 00 Weirdness! But it was so cool.

Dedicated to- Kage (Did ya have a good bday?), MissCourtney002 (Thanks! I'm glad you liked it), the oro-ing elf (I just do… XD Thanks! And that's alright), Hawk of the North (Yay applause! And I am like that… I like details. LOL.), Kawaii Eyez (OMG thanks XD hugs you too! You're one of my fav reviewers), KuRoxTeNsHi (YOU READ IT! W00t!), FLUFFYTIGER (LOL I know and thanks so much! You rule dude), Yuffie Leonheart (LOL I would smack him. And I can too… O.O), silver chocobo15 (PM explains everything… thanks XD), Monica (I positively adore your reviews! It makes me feel worthy XD love ya!), and LostxRaine (You reviewed two times in a row! Thanks! XD). Also dedicated toKurisutaru (Stop changing your name, dammit.It will confuse me. LOL.)aka Rina. You know who you are.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here but the plot, and Spikeh Strife. "BELIEVE IT!" –Naruto I don't own that either… Or Gatorade. Shut up and leave me alone! Cries But review first. W00t!

The Book of Cloud Chapter Two- I Spy A Ninja

"Speech"

'Thought'

Flashback

In Edge-

Yuffie's POV

If there was a prize for stealth, I would SO FREAKING WIN! Right now, I'm jumping onto the tops of buildings, just 'cause I'm so good. W00t! And I already have my plan of attack. When I find Cloud, and spot him leaving to go into the city, to shop or something like that, I'm gonna dress up as different people, annoy, interview, and spy on him! He won't know it's me, because HELLO I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie, I can disappear in seconds! BELIEVE IT! Well anyway, my first outfit will be the typical mother who's lost her beloved child/children. I'm sure he's gullible enough to believe my act… You've seen it everyday! I swear! If I had kids, I would watch them or make sure they're smart enough to know where to go if I lose 'em. But then again, if I had children, they'd have to be mine and - … Insert Instant Blush Here … GAH! Stupid Reno is turning me into a pervert! I'm going to KEEEL him when I see him! (Emphasized 'kill'… Gawd I LOVE to do that!)

Well anyway, where the h-e-double hockey sticks is Spiky! He never ceases to amaze and confuse me. He is the Wonder Blonde, the man with almost permanent PMS! Well it seemed to be that way when I first met him, and then he mellowed out just a bit. W00t! And two years ago, at the Church, I think he finally started to forgive himself. Even tho' he shoulda never felt like he had to, because it wasn't his fault, and Aeris totally agreed. I remember him telling me… Gawd I miss her. It's times like this I wish she'd play the adult version of 'Dress Up Yuffie' with me. Also known as SHOPPING! When you only have Boobs taking you shopping, it's not as much fun because since Aeris is gone she keeps trying to make me dress in skirts and those weird tops… Yuck. I don't wear skirts, unless I want to, which is never, so… yeah. I don't wear skirts. Normally I hated shopping too Unless it was materia but thanks to those two I've changed… NOOOOES! Five seconds later Oh well.

And speaking of Boobs, I'm near her bar! Maybe Spiky is in there… I dropped down from my current resting place- WHOA that makes me sound like I'm dead! A ghost! Or the undead! HOLY SHIT I'VE BECOME VINNIE! AHHH… Okay BUILDING, I landed on the ground and succeeded in scaring the crap out of some little kids who looked at me with frightened and yet amazed looks. OOOH it must be like in the commercials, I bet this is what is going through their head:

Kid One: It's a bird…!

Kid Two: It's a plane…!

Kid Three: OMG it's a Ninja who killed Superman!

…NYUCK! I killed Superman, w00t! Okay so maybe that never happened, or why I would know who Superman is. The authoress just decided to stick that there and see if it would actually amuse somebody. Boy, she sucks. (Me: Boohoo)

Maybe I should drop in and say hi to Teef. Of course her, in all her goodliness, would scream "YUFFIE" and then she'd glomp me and her enormous boobs would squish me and I'd die, then they'd all cry at my funeral while my epitaph reads: 'Yuffie Kisaragi, born blah blah blah, died blah blah blah, cause of death: Suffocation by abnormally large yoo-hoos. Beloved Ninja, Friend, and Princess of Wutai.' And Cloud would profess his undying love for me and then kill himself out of so much misery because he let me be flattened by Tifa's chest. And then, we'll have a party in the Lifestream with Aeris and her boyfriend Zack, and Cloud can be mine 'YESH', and then we can all play strip poker with Robin Hood, Mr. Pretty, Little John, and Sephiroth! W00t! And just to score future good points with Vinnie, we'll invite Lucrecia too! SCHWING!

Oh I am so damn good. But maybe I should check if the coast is clear. HAHA. Coast. It's too bad I'm not in Costa Del Sol… Hmm… Cloud in swim trunks… yummy. … Gawd damn it my thoughts wander WAAAAAY too much. Maybe I shouldn't have had those last five bottles of Gatorade. I gotta sneak into Teef's bathroom, just so long as no one's in it. AND it better have locks too, or I am going to MURDER Boobs for making me remember that one incident…

We Now Enter The Matrix…Cough I Mean Yuffie's Flashback. (And by the way, this was a little while after she joined AVALANCHE, so she didn't know Cloud as well yet.)

Yuffie was merrily taking a shower in the bathroom on the Highwind. She scrubbed her scalp with her shea-butter scented shampoo, which smelled YUMMY! It also had coconut, sesame, and sunflower seed oils in it. It smelt almost like HEAVEN, key word almost, because in her opinion, Cloud smelled like Heaven. 'Mmm… sexy Heaven. Nyuck.'

She rinsed that out of her hair when she was through, and applied the sequel sweet-smelling conditioner. After that was done, she rinsed that, and did all her other daily things to appease her demand to be clean. She turned off the shower and wrung out what little hair she could manage into a tiny ponytail. However, she was distracted by her thoughts, and didn't hear some one come in.

Blond hair, blue eyes, boots smacked the floor in a loud stomp, Cid Highwind (HA! I bet you thought it was Cloud, huh?) took a long drag on his cigarette before he turned on the faucet to run some water and wash his hands.

Yuffie was startled out of her thoughts when she heard the water running, and tentatively peeked out of the corner of her eyes. All she saw was blonde hair, and she shrieked, "CLOUD! YOU PERVERT! GET THE HELL OUTTA THE BATHROOM YOU SICKO!"

Cid heard the yell and turned around, cigarette dangling from his lips. "THE HELL you screeching for, you fucking banshee! I'm not Cloud you fucking dumbass!"

"Well EXCUSE me you friggen wannabe ash-tray, I was in the bathroom! KNOCK FIRST!" 'God I hate you stupid old man! I can't believe he doesn't have LOCKS installed!'

Cloud had heard his name called and walked into the bathroom, saying, "What's the problem!" He hadn't heard the 'pervert' jab.

Yuffie, who had been hiding her body with the shower curtain, turned cherry red. 'Oh SHIT!'

Cid grinned in delight. 'Here's payback for you barfing all over my baby!' Indeed she had accidentally tossed her cookies all over the airship. He smirked and said, "The fucking brat thought you were a pervert because she thought YOU were in the fucking bathroom!"

Yuffie bristled; he was trying to get her in trouble with Cloud! 'That bastard!' She was very flustered still and muttered angrily, "Cloud, it's not my fault he doesn't have LOCKS on these damn doors! The Old Man is a secret closet pervert, and he almost SAW me!"

"OH yeah! Like's there's anything to see, brat!" He shot back.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY…!" She was about ready to strangle the blonde-haired pilot, but the only thing holding her back was the fact that she had no towel. 'DAMMIT!'

She turned to Cloud, enraged. "SPIKES, you have ta smack him for me!"

"…" No answer from the chocobo-colored crayon man called Cloud. (YES, he is a crayon now! LOL.)

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaase?" She pleaded, anger fading from her like a fuse going out.

"Yuffie, you should learn to fight your own battles and not accuse someone based off their own hair color." He said flatly, seriously, and walked out.

Her mouth dropped and she gaped while Cid laughed. "Boy, he fucking showed you!" And then he walked out, laughing away.

As soon as he was gone she jumped out, grabbed a towel, and slammed the door shut. And from that day on, she listened to Cloud's words, but still felt a stab of resentment towards them for that one incident.

And Now… We Return To Yuffie's Head.

'That was SO fucking unfair… Damn Cid. I should beat him again for that…' I didn't feel much of the anger towards Cloud anymore, just at Cid. I'm slowly getting over it, but I don't like that memory still. It frickin' PISSED me off, dammit. I'm going to double-check and make sure there are locks…

I made my way towards the bar, which looked pretty good from the outside, and then when I was close enough, I climbed up the building next to it, on a different side. There was a ladder, and inwardly I was going 'OH YEAH!' Little Chibi Yuffies were jumping for joy; it (the ladder) just made my job easier! 'W00t!' Of course, I could have just scaled the building, but a ladder made it much nicer. Except… when it fell backwards with ME ON IT!

All the Chibi Yuffies that were jumping for joy got squished. 'OWWWW! I would have almost preferred Teef's killer hooters over this! At least then I would have DIED!' I pried myself loose from underneath the evil ladder. "OH. You have earned yourself a place in Yuffie's To-KILL book, you son of a bitch!" In a brief flash of paranoia, I proceeded to cut the ladder into nice tiny metal pieces with my trusty Conformer. NYUCK! "And that's why you don't mess with the GREAT Ninja Yuffie!" I kicked a piece and watched it roll away and hit the wall with a loud 'CLANK' in satisfaction. But then my current situation reminded me of a place I needed to find, and I started to climb the wall. Not monkey-climb in lightning speed, like SOMEONE I know (cough Reno cough But we love him anyway XD), but I climbed up a bit more gracefully.

I was almost to the top when I heard a masculine voice say, "What do we have here?" Another voice joined him, one that sounded female. "Slashed metal… a ladder? That's what made the loud noise?"

I froze, my blood felt like it turned to ice, quite literally speaking. I recognized those voices. 'CRAPPLES!' I used a sudden adrenaline rush to boost myself up rapidly, and landed on the top of the building with a small thump. I prayed on the inside that they hadn't heard that. '…I was supposed to find YOU, Cloud! GAWD! You ruined my plans!' I wailed inwardly.

"Maybe… Maybe not." Oh I could just melt, if I wasn't praying that I was about to be found out. 'DARN IT, I wanted the element of surprise!' I knew I was acting like a kid again, but I couldn't help it at times. It was part of who I am, and part of the child I had never gotten to be, thanks to that stupid war between Wutai and Shinra… And my idiot father, Godo. Stupid jerk.

"What do you mean Cloud?" Asked Boobs. I tentatively peeked over the edge, and studied them. Of course, my eyes drifted to Cloud first. Ahhhh, he was still super sexy! He was wearing his black outfit again, and it was AWESOME. Even better than his SOLDIER uniform, but hey- he was still gorgeous either way. I looked at his beautiful spiky hair and grinned. 'Still the same bright color…' And I glanced at his eyes. SOOO HOT! Expressive, and they looked like liquid sapphires. 'Scrumptoulescent… And MAGICALLY MAKOLICIOUS!' (Scrumptoulescent is a word my brother made up, I think. Unless someone else did, credit goes to him or her. But I LOVE saying that word, and LOL magically makolicious. I crack myself up)

For a second, I thought his eyes looked up towards mine, and I gasped on the inside and pulled my head back, heart pounding like Vinnie when he's shooting Death Penalty, except my heart doesn't go BANG, it goes KA-BOOMF! … That almost sounds like one of Barret's farts… EWWW! (0.o I can't believe I just wrote that. Ewww…) 'I REALLY hope Cloudy didn't see me…'

Cloud's POV (FINALLY! W00t! Mwahaha)-

Tifa and I were in her bar, her making drinks for the customers while I rang up the prices of each drink when I heard a loud CRASH from outside the bar. For a moment, a blessed silence fell over the noisy temporary inhabitants, but then, after a few moments, it bubbled back to life again.

However, with my enhanced hearing, I heard some slashing noises. I looked at Tifa, and she had heard a little bit of it too, and with the volume of the din in here I was sure she might have not. But we exchanged looks, and we left one of the girls Tifa had hired to waitress in charge.

I was in front, with Tifa right behind me. I could tell she was a little bit worried, and knew the thought going through her mind: 'What happened? Is someone hurt? Is there someone trying to break in?' I smiled a tiny bit. 'Same old Tifa.' We were best friends, with a deep friendship that would last forever unless I screwed something up…. But I knew that whatever she felt for me beyond friendship could never be returned… I don't care for Tifa in that sense. She is like my sister… And somehow, I think she knows. ('Kay, just wanted to clear that up. CLOUD DOES NOT LIKE LIKE TIFA. End of story. LOL. Lets continue.)

We made it to the alley on the side of the building. (I think I forgot to mention that, but incase you didn't notice, that was kind of the feeling I got when I wrote the ladder part.) "What do we have here?" I said, and I looked down, and saw the remains of a metal and rusty ladder.

Tifa spoke up from beside me. "Slashed metal… A ladder? That's what made the loud noise?" She peered at it a bit, with one hand on her hip. Tifa wore her usual outfit, but it was in a dark shade of red that matched her brown eyes tinted red. It looked nice on her, and I had told her so earlier today. She flushed and muttered a quiet "thank you."

"Maybe… maybe not," I replied. I knelt down beside some of the remains and looked at them. 'Clean cuts,' I noted. 'Could only have been made with a sharp and refined edge, placed on a weapon designed for slashing, and cutting. Possibly aerodynamic…'

"What do you mean Cloud?" Tifa didn't understand, but then again she probably didn't look at it enough to see what I saw.

I looked upwards, and saw something that surprised me. Dark brown hair hung off a half-concealed head whose eyes shone a most beautiful shade of gray… '…Is it her?' Those eyes widened, long lashes fluttered and then disappeared. Yep. It couldn't not have been her. A smirk tugged at my lips. 'I spy a ninja…'

I then turned to Tifa to explain to her. "Tifa, if you look closer, you can see that the edges were cut clean enough to show that the ladder was sliced by a weapon. One that is designed for that type of thing. Even though the ladder was rusty, I suspect the owner may have not been pleased and decided to take his or her anger out on it."

Tifa nodded. "I see… But I guess they're gone now, right?" Her eyes shone with a bit of curiosity and worry. She didn't want the bar to be attacked, it was plain. However, she was more than a match for a common thief. 'She worries too much and yet… This is no common thief.'

I decided to humor her and play hero. "I'll stay behind and look for more clues. If I find them, I'll beat them up. You go back to the bar."

(I forgot to mention that Cloud has the Ultima weapon with him… -.- Sorry.)

She nodded, knowing fully well that Cloud could take care of himself. Still, she worried. "Alright, I'll go, but you come back soon, okay?"

I nodded, and then she left. I turned to the wall of the building. "Alright, I saw you, come out."

A shape rose from the building and then jumped down, landing perfectly… on her ass. I laughed a little bit at her clumsiness.

Yuffie rubbed her sore behind as she started to rise. "Yeah, thanks, I slip, and get no help. Ass."

"I apologize." I stuck out my leather-clad hand and she slid her fingers into my grasp and got up with my help.

"Well, ya apologized too late AFTER you laughed at me." She huffed and turned her head away, long hair swishing in the breeze. Her arms were crossed over her now much-more noticeable chest, and her form had taken a womanlier one. As much as some people believed, I wasn't blind. I could see… Cleavage! (LOL)

Yuffie had thrown her arms around me while I had been distracted… (Cough Oh yea my boy, DISTRACTED… LOL.) And to my surprise she was almost has tall as me! The kunoichi really HAD grown in recent years.

I'm sure a tiny blush had come over my face, as much as I fought to prevent it. It wasn't as bad as it was with Teef… … I am surrounded by things I'd rather NOT be more often than should be allowed... (Poor Cloud is afraid of Tifa's jugs! I would be too. 00)

Yuffie mumbled into my neck, "I MISSED YA! Why don't you ever swing by Wutai, huh? You could drop me a few calls more often too, you know."

I smiled a bit ruefully. "I'm sorry Yuff…" I gave her a hug back, because if I didn't, I'd probably feel bad later. (Awww… Cloud would feel guilty. Or so I would make him feel. MWAHA.)

(Now it's changing to Normal POV, mmkay?)

Yuffie stepped back out of the embrace and crossed her arms over her chest again. "Sorry doesn't cut it, Chocobo Crayon!" 'OOOOH sometimes he pisses me off. Better add that to book later… "Reasons Why To Kick Cloud's Butt". NYUCK!'

Cloud closed his eyes a bit at the inventive yet annoying nickname. It was one of many that she had made up. "Then what will?" He asked. He was willing to make amends if it would appease his fiery ninja.

Yuffie's face broke out into a bright grin. Suddenly, Cloud felt a little scared. "For as long I stay here with you guys, I want you to hang out with me, and answer any questions I might have! Okies?" She stared at him intently, hoping that he would accept her offer. It was perfect for getting work on her book done…

Cloud weighed his options… Which were almost non-existent. If he didn't accept it, he knew she would stay around him for quite a while and 'catch up' with Tifa, and fire questions at him as fast as Vincent shot bullets. Which was REALLY fast… She had quite the motor mouth. He sighed. 'I might as well, and if I don't, she'll give me puppy-dog eyes anyway…' The most adorable he was surprised that word was in his vocabulary yet evil look ever was capable from being unleashed by Yuffie, and it was damn well irresistible. He sighed again and then said, "Alright…"

Yuffie jumped for joy again, the chibis had REVIVED themselves- 'Mass phoenix down party maybe' she thought- and were dancing Yuffie-style, and her and themselves let out a loud "W00t! I get to hang with Spiky!" She hugged Cloud again and then let go, beaming. "We are going to have SO much fun! OMFG, Cloud, we can have SLEEP OVERS (Me and Reno: Grins evilly Rufus: Pales 00), parties, and days where we scare the shit out of everyone by making them think we're on crack!"

"Don't you already do that?" he asked dryly. She grinned. "Yup! And now you're included! Welcome to the games, Spiky!"

"Yay?"

She laughed at the look on his face before grabbing his arm. "Come on! I'm tired, I wanna see Boobs, and I HAFTA GO!"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing…" She took off, dragging poor Cloud behind her. At last, they were reunited, and now, they would start a journey together, that no one would take them away from. W00t!

End of Chapter Two

Rei: GAH! That ending sucked. AND it's almost three in the morning. But anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this LONGER chapter! I hoped you liked the Cloud and Yuffie interaction, and I know the ladder thing was kinda random, BUT IT WORKED, right? LOL. Anyway, push the magic button… And you'll see more makolicious Cloudy and Yuffums (Kai, you made me say that… somehow. 0.0 LOL.) interaction. Ooooh the funness. I cannot wait. I love writing this story, and I might update sooner than you think… Mwahaha. Until next time.

Rei aka Itsuka Itami (I like that name I devised for myself, Itsuka means someday, Itami means pain… I just felt like it at the time. LOL. And to neone interested, I got a FFVII forum goin'. Check my profile for the link, or PM me for more info.)