A/N: This is my last pre-written chapter, from here on I have absolutely no idea where the story goes from here, well actually I'm thinking of bring my cats in and have a vague idea involving lyrics from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but other than that nothing. So if anyone out there has ideas or suggestions give a shout out and there's a good chance it'll wander into the phic. As always, I hope yall enjoy.

Your Most Humble and Obedient Servant,

SP

Disclaimer: I spent all of last week trying to get The Really Useful Group to hand over the rights to PotO, but then security threatened to get out pepper spray so I had to leave empty handed.

Chapter 3: All Is Revealed, Well Sorta

To Erik's surprise the mysterious, but infuriating girl had spoked true. Both times he had tried to sneak up on her in the night she had shot up, instantly awake, and became incorporeal. Even worse, when he then tried to question her she would give him one of her maddening smiles and roll over muttering "Won't work. I've got brothers."

Thus, the disgruntled opera ghost was forced to wait until morning, or afternoon as the case turned out to be. By the time the green-eyed devil of a girl had awoken it had been nearly one in the afternoon. Erik had just settled down at his organ when he heard the distinct sound of his music box beginning to play. No sooner had the first three bar of music played than another sound followed, a disturbingly piercing cross between a scream and a growl. Instantly on his feet, Erik rushed out of the alcove to see what in heaven of hell could have provoked his uninvited guest to make such a noise.

Nothing he had imagined could have prepared him for the sight that awaited him. The Authoress had sprung out of the bed and had seized the little monkey music box with venomous conviction. She now had both hands around the figure's neck and was throttling it violently. She swore and cursed as she tried to choke the life out of the already inanimate little ape.

"You were watching me, I know it!" she growled at her helpless victim. "You with your beady little eyes that follow you everywhere and your magic playiness! Die you creepy little demon monkey from the pits of Hades! Die! Die! DIE!" There was a series of reverberating bangs as she began to smash the music box repeatedly against the edge of the swan bed. Erik chose this time to step in before the crazed phangirl could completely destroy one of his favourite possessions.

"Ehem!"

That was all it took. At the sound of the Phantom's two syllable utterance C.C. nearly shot through the roof, the music box flew from her hands and landed safely (if not soundly,) on the rumpled bed. Her cheeks turning an interesting shade of scarlet, she turned to face her reluctant host. Erik was leaning smugly against the wall wearing his trademark sexy-as-hell smirk. C.C. could tell that he was not-so-secretly reveling in the fact that, unlike the night before, he was in charge of this rather awkward situation.

"What exactly, my dear, do you have against my music box?" he asked, arching an eyebrow in her direction.

After contemplating her feet for a fraction of a second C.C. looked up from beneath her lashes with the best soulful and innocent look she could muster. "Well," she pouted, "you see, it's the caffeine withdrawal, it makes me do crazy things. So," she let face slip into a devilishly wicked grin, "if you value your possessions at all, go make me some coffee." she demanded brightly.

Make her. . . Nobody talked to him that way. Nobody! With a feral growl Erik launched himself at the insolent girl, a murderous gleam in his eye. . . only to find himself sprawled painfully on the floor directly behind her.

With a sigh C.C. turned to face him. "Are you quite done yet?" she asked him, sounding like a mother patronizing a naughty child. "Because I'm seriously beginning to question your comprehension of the word "incorporeal". Now get up, the coffee isn't going to brew itself." She offered him a hand up, but he only glared at her and hauled himself to his feet.

"If you desire coffee so much I'll show you to the kitchen where you can brew some if you like."

"Are you sure you want to set me loose in your kitchen?" she countered. "Besides, it clearly states in the Bible that man should brew the coffee."

Erik stared at her quizzically far a moment. "I've never felt the need to read such pointless religious twaddle, but I'm certain it doesn't state who should brew the coffee."

"Yes, yes. 'A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.'" C.C. dryly quoted Macbeth. "But, it does. In fact, I'll make a wager with you. If I can't prove that the Bible states that man should brew the coffee I will straightforwardly state why I'm here, accomplish my task without further distraction, and then promptly leave. But, if I can prove it, I expect to wake up to freshly brewed coffee every morning." She held out her hand. "Deal?" she asked, trying to keep the mischievous glint out of her eyes.

"Done." Grasping her hand, he shook it firmly then disappeared into another room, cloak swirling.

C.C. watched him go. After a moment of drooling (swirling cloaks have that effect on her,) she allowed her self to participate in the activity she had wanted to ever since her arrival the night before: the proverbial happy dance.

"Squeeeeeeeeee!" she squealed as she spun in circles doing a disturbing little jig. "I'm in the lair with Erik! Happy Dance! Happy Dance! I'm in the lair with Erik!" Hugging herself, she hopped up and down and added one more "Squeeeeeeeee!" for good measure. From the couch, Ayesha regarded the Authoress as though she were completely insane (which might have been a fair assessment.)

Suddenly C.C.'s phangirl senses started to tingle and she regained her composure just as Erik walked into the room carrying a large leather bound book.

"Here," he said, thrusting the book at the girl, "show me where it says I should be the one to brew the coffee."

Taking the Bible from him, C.C. smiled to herself. It was time to put all of those jokes her mates emailed her to good use. Flipping to the New Testament she leafed through the pages until she found what she wanted. "There!" she exclaimed triumphantly as she pointed at the top of the page. The Phantom's gaze grew stormy as he read the indicated word. For at the top of several pages it indeed indicated "Hebrews.".

"Black and strong." she instructed. Erik looked like he wanted to kill something. (Three guesses who, and the first two don't count!)

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Ten minutes later C.C. was sitting on the couch with a cup of strong black coffee in her hand. Erik stood over her trying his best, and succeeding, to look imposing.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"The Authoress." she said simply.

That's not a name."

"Well, I was going to call myself "The Phantom", but it was taken." she shot back.

He looked slightly embarrassed. "Point taken. How did you get here?"

That was a tough one. How did she explain that "here" didn't exist, that it was a figment of her imagination that she made up in order to feel better about how a story ended.

"Er. . .I um...I, uh, did the time warp?" she tried.

"The what?" the answer had set Erik back slightly.

"Time Warp. Ya know, jump to the left, step to the right, hands on your hips. . . okay, maybe I'm a century too early for that one." she said as she ran her fingers thoughtlessly through her black curls.

Erik stared at her, looking her over carefully. "So you're saying," he said slowly, "you're from the future."

"Yeah, pretty much." Okay, lame, but she hadn't thought up any explanation and was improvising.

Erik studied her for another second before continuing. "Assuming that you are from the future, which is not saying I believe you, why are you here?"

"To, uh, play matchmaker." she said, trying to dodge the question.

"For whom might I ask?"

This was dangerous territory, but eventually it had to happen. I hope you have a good life insurance policythe voice in her head sniped. Taking a deep breath C.C. prepared to take the plunge. Looking Erik straight in the eye she said, "You and Christine."

Emotions crossed Erik's face too quickly for C.C. to fully register. Surprise. Anger. Shock. Suspicion. And back to anger. He clenched his fists in front of him. C.C. stared at his whitening knuckles with a sneaky suspicion that if he squeezed any harder she'd see blood well from within his fist. "How do you know about that?" he hissed.

C.C. knew that this could go from bad to worse fast, so she changed her approach. Lounging back on the sofa she sighed dramatically. "Oh, stop that before you burst a blood vessel." she scolded. "Look, mate, what part of 'from the future' did you not understand? Short version? I'm from the year 2005 where your story is quite famous. You tried, er, will try, to get Christine, your efforts completely caned, I'm here to fix it."

Erik just stood there, a bewildered look on his face. Apparently being told that he would fail to get the love of his life and there was a girl from one hundred and twenty-four years in the future, a future where he was famous, was here to change the past/his future was a little much for him to handle. Go figure.

Alright, C.C.'s mental voice said, time for Plan B then is it? Plan B, she thought, I have a Plan B? The voice spoke up again, this time with an exasperated voice that sounded suspiciously like her mum. A picture's worth a thousand words, love.

Right! Leaping to her feet, C.C. dashed off toward the back rooms, pushing aside a curtain and rushing down one of the lair's many hidden hallways. She came back a few minutes later with her laptop and the PotO DVD tucked under one arm. In the other hand she carried a bowl of popcorn, Jaffa Cakes, gummy bears, and marshmallow peeps.

"Where did those come from?" Erik asked as he eyed the black and purple rectangle under her arm. "I'm quite certain they weren't back there ten minutes ago."

"Ancient, time traveling, Japanese monk." she explained. "He brought my entire stash for me."

"Impossible!" he growled. "If there is such a man here than I'm. . ."

His word were cut off as he sensed movement behind him. Whirling, Erik found himself facing a little bald Asian man in a long brown robe. "Konichiwa!" the monk said with a little bow, just before disappearing in a cloud of purple smoke.

"Bye, Lo Whi!" C.C. called after him. "Thanks for my stuff!" Then she turned to Erik with barely contained laughter. "You were saying?"

"Er. . ." he fumbled for an answer. "Well. . . that is. . ." Then changing the subject. "What is that thing under your arm?"

"It's called a laptop computer." She wracked her brain trying to think of a way to explain it. Somehow she didn't think 'it's a magic box from the future' was going to cut it. "Think of it like a cross between a book and a, uh, music box," she said dumbly, "except it only has one page that displays different words, sounds, and pictures when you give it different physical commands." It was a horrid explanation, but it would have to do. Noticing the gleam in Erik's eye she added, "If you even think about taking it apart I'll. . . I'll. . ." What was a threat horrible enough to ensure the safety of her precious computer?

"I'll chain you to the wall of a small room and then lock Carlotta and her little barking rodents in there with you." Judging by the horrified look on Erik's face, C.C. figured that her threat had struck home. "Now sit down." she continued. "You're gonna watch a movie."

"A what?" Erik asked.

"Well," C.C. teased, "if you would quit interrupting me, you'll find out a whole lot sooner." Suddenly serious, she tried to explain what she was about to show him. "Look, whatever I tell you about what I know isn't going to make fully understand what is happening here, so I'm going to show you. This," she said, showing him the disk, "is what would happen if I never decided to play Cupid. Now, I'm not saying this is how things are going to end, but that they could and that in my world they did."

With that, C.C. popped the DVD into the drive. After navigating through the menus she set the computer onto Erik's lap. In any other circumstance she would have sternly yet playfully demanded that his complete attention be devoted to the computer, but the sounds and pretty flashing lights beat her to it. Erik's face was the definition of shock and awe as he stared at the screen. C.C. noticed that he bore a striking resemblance to her five year-old nephew when he saw some new over the top special effect. The comparison sent C.C. into a fit of giggles.

Normally C.C. would have settled down and watched the movie out of phangirl duty, but she had found a much better show. Watching Erik's drop jawed gaping and other very unphantomy behavior was the most hilarious thing she had seen since her drunken brother had preformed Green Day's King For A Day in heels and a dress. Unfortunately the show didn't last long. The scene between Christine and Raoul in the dressing room hadn't caused the stir C.C. thought it might have, only warranting a slight frown from Erik.(Thank Hugh for states of shock, eh?) And he became completely captivated when at the sound of his own singing, apparently even the Phantom himself couldn't resist the thrall of his voice. Then came the unmasking and all that follows.

Even having had grown up with various Eriks, the emotional roller coaster was almost too much for C.C. to handle. As her best friend, Rudolf, would have said, he was suffering from a severe case of DDS: damned and dumped syndrome. It was were one went through four of the five stages of grief all at once. Denial, anger, bargaining, and depression all spinning around in a gut wrenching emotional spaz attack. It completely tore C.C. to pieces to him like that, but it had to be done. Tough love, the truth hurts, whatever doesn't kill you: all that bloody tosh. Finally the movie ended and Erik rushed to his room where he (say it with me now,) began to work on his masterpiece to forget the horror of the moment.

A/N: Wow that's a long chapter for me. Normally my attention span isn't long enough to write more than three of four pages. This chapter was also way too serious for my taste, but it wasn't my fault. I swear! Freddy, the invisible monkey made me do it!