Chapter 12: Two Strong Wills

Rhett walked down the porch stairs at a much slower pace than he had ascended them less than an hour prior. He took his horse from the hitching post and began riding slowly toward the hotel.

Damn, he loved that woman. That self-centered, nieve, temperamental beauty. Heaven help him, but he did.

The thought was consuming. In the last three years, that green-eyed siren had bewitched him and tempted him. She made him laugh, and he knew that for the first time since he was a child, he felt anchored to something. Scarlett was the one constant in his life. The person who, no matter what happened, would always have a dazzling smile for him and an easy temper at his prodding.

She wasn't just a beautiful face - though heaven knew she was - she was just like him. Although she tried to pretend she cared about what society thought about her, given the choice between what she wanted and what society thought she should want, she would go after what she wanted every time. Hadn't she proven that by loving him?

She loved him.

No lady in Atlanta would talk to him except Scarlett, Miss Melly, and begrudgingly Miss Pittypat, and if the latter two had any idea about Rhett's true character, they would shun him too. But not Scarlett. She knew everything and loved him anyway.

He wondered if he'd pushed her too far. She would go after what she wanted, yes, but she still clung to those maidenly ideals and fancied herself respectable. He felt ashamed he had not considered that she would feel guilty about their actions or regret what they had done. He'd been blinded by his passion and had thought of nothing while he was gone other than holding her again. He'd been so excited to see her that he had given no thought to the idea that she didn't feel the same way.

She'd been so upset by what they had done together that she had said she didn't want to see him anymore. That was a completely unacceptable option for Rhett. He could not imagine never holding her in his arms again, let alone never seeing her again. He loved her with a passion that he had never experienced, but would he love her for the rest of his life? So far, his desire for her had only grown since he'd met her. He remembered being first enchanted by her fiery temper, but that was nothing compared to what he felt for her now that he knew who she really was and every wonderful and terrible thing that went along with her. He worried that once he had her, his craving would be sated, and he would no longer be interested. How could he marry? He wasn't a marrying man! He traveled the world at the drop of a hat and stayed out late every night. He couldn't be tied to a city or a person, and marrying Scarlett would mean just that. Especially once they had a house full of brats. Which he knew would happen, he thought smiling, because once he got her in his bed, she was never going to leave it.

The next evening Rhett sat impatiently outside the hospital, waiting for Scarlett to appear. When he finally saw her walking down the steps, he grinned widely and jumped down from the carriage to greet her.

"Good evening, my dear. How was your day picking lice?" he asked with mock seriousness.

Scarlett did not spare him a glance. She kept her eyes straight ahead on the sidewalk and walked past him.

Shaking his head amused, Rhett grabbed a box out of the carriage, then ran to catch up with her. "You know, I had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but you leave me no choice," he said, walking beside her. He held up the box in her eye line so she could not avoid it and opened the lid.

Scarlett remained silent, but her step faltered slightly, and her eyes grew wide as she looked at the dazzling emerald necklace in front of her. Pursing her lips, she looked away from the box and increased her pace.

Rhett's brows drew together, not used to Scarlett not being moved by beautiful things. "I purchased it on my trip to England last winter. I saw it in a window as I was passing by and knew you were the only woman who should ever wear it. It's just the color of your eyes," he said, examining the necklace closely. "I should know," he said with uncharacteristic gentleness, I've spent enough nights thinking about them."

Scarlett looked at Rhett for a moment but quickly turned her head back, cursing herself for her weakness.

Rhett smiled, sensing victory was within his reach. "I love you, Scarlett," he said softly.

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him, her heart in her eyes. After a moment, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then let it out in a woosh. "You know that's not enough, Rhett."

"Listen to me, Scarlett," he stepped closer to her than was respectable. "I've never once told a woman I loved her. We have so much fun together. Why does anything have to change? Isn't it enough that I love you?" He wrapped his fingers around her arm and asked her desperately, "What does marriage have to do with it? We enjoy each other's company, and there's no sense in ruining that and us both ending up unhappy in the end. Not when we can have great experiences together. I want to give you everything. Anything your heart desires is yours, Scarlett. We're good together, darling, and we're just at the beginning of the things I can show you."

Scarlett pulled her arm out of his grasp angrily and hissed at him, "You are a coward, Rhett Butler! You say you love me, but what are you going to do about it? Nothing! You just want to go along with all the advantages of marriage, but none of the commitment. Well, if you want to ever talk to me again, you're going to have to do better than that!" She spun around on her heel and marched toward Pitty's house without a backward glance.

Rhett's next attempt to break Scarlett's resolve came three days later when he appeared uninvited to Pittypat's dinner party. Armed with his signature box of bonbons, Rhett made it impossible for Pitty to turn him away, and the Old Guard was forced to be cordial. Scarlett, however, did not see it necessary to extend the same courtesy. She openly ignored him and instead flirted shamelessly with Captain Carey Ashburn. Rhett smiled, amused that she was attempting to make him jealous. Her actions had the opposite effect, and he recognized her childish attempts to gain his attention.

When everyone was out on the porch, Rhett managed to corner Scarlett in the back hallway. In the red glow of the evening sun, he leaned one arm against the wall behind her head and marveled at her beauty. He had so missed looking at her, smelling her, and just being near her.

"When are you going to stop these silly games, Scarlett?" he asked, whispering in her ear and wrapping a curl around his finger.

"I'm not playing any game, Rhett. I simply don't want to be anywhere near you!" She stared determinedly ahead and refused to let him see the effect he was having on her. Both her hands were buried in her pockets to keep them from wrapping around his neck. Inside her pocket, she balled his handkerchief up in her fist, holding onto it as if it could give her the strength to reuse him.

Rhett smiled down at her, "We both know you want to be near me just as much as I want to be with you."

"Is that so?" she asked, irritated.

"Mmmhm," Rhett murmured, brushing his lips against hers, "You want this every bit as much as I do, Scarlett. Just admit it."

Scarlett pushed against him and backed away, "No! I won't let you charm your way back into my heart again. I've had enough of you, Rhett Butler, and I never want to see you again!" she turned to leave him in the hallway, but he grabbed hold of her arm to stop her.

"I have never been loved before, Scarlett," he didn't recognize his own voice, and his heart was racing with the fear of what he was ready to reveal about himself to her. "I was never good enough for my father, and I have been a continuing disappointment to my mother. The people who count themselves as my friends only associate with me because of what I can do for them. And the women that I know it hurts you to hear about? Darling, not a one of them ever touched me out of anything but lust or greed over the money I was paying them. You are everything, Scarlett. Here I am chasing after you like a damn fool! If I took your self-respect, then here is mine on a silver platter. Don't turn away from what we have because of some misguided sense of how things should be."

Scarlett felt tears welling up in her eyes. Why did he have to make everything so damn hard? "I love you, Rhett," she said, and for a moment, he thought she was going to give in, but then she took a steadying breath. Stepping out of his arms, she walked purposefully outside to rejoin the party.

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For the next two weeks, Rhett waited outside the hospital in his carriage every afternoon and evening, and the routine was always the same. Scarlett would leave the hospital for her lunch break or at the end of the day, and she would walk to Pitty's house with Rhett next to her in his carriage. He would talk about unimportant things, such as the exotic cities he wanted to take her to or an idle piece of gossip he thought she'd enjoy. She never said a word to him or spared him a single glance - except to make sure he was there when she first walked through the hospital door.

On the days Scarlett did not go to the hospital, Rhett would call, and she would send word down with Uncle Peter that she did not care to see him, leaving Melanie and Pittypat to their embarrassment. Rhett would sit with Melanie for a bit and then reassure her he would be fine in the parlor alone waiting for Scarlett. He would wait all day, then decline Melanie's dinner invitation.

One day, Melanie tried to convince Scarlett to talk to Captain Butler, but she had been shocked by Scarlett's fiery temper being unleashed on her. Scarlett did not even want to hear Rhett's name or listen to how he had been so patiently waiting for her. Having so horribly failed with Scarlett, Melanie worked up her courage again, this time to talk to Captain Butler.

The two sat in the parlor, Rhett holding the yarn Melanie was rolling when she nervously pushed forward, "Captain Butler, I hope you don't think I'm terribly rude, but how long do you plan on continuing with all this?"

Rhett smirked and laughed humorlessly, "As long as it takes for Scarlett to talk to me again."

"I'm sure you've realized this, but that is probably going to take a long time," Melanie said with a crease in her forehead. "I wish I had just half of Scarlett's determination. She's so much stronger than I am, but right now, I don't envy her at all. I just don't understand why she can't see how much you love her."

Melanie's straightforwardness startled Rhett, but he smiled at the lady, "You've a very keen eye, Miss Melly."

"Oh, I would hardly need a keen eye to notice the way you look at her!" she laughed. "I must say, I've wondered for at least a year why you two haven't married yet."

"Why do you say that?" he asked curiously.

"Well, you love her, don't you?" Melly said plainly.

Rhett nodded jerkily, unsure of where she was going with her comment.

"And I know Scarlett is lively, but surely you have to know that she doesn't care the least little bit about any of those boys. She is completely dedicated to you. Which is why I just cannot figure out why you two don't get married already," Melly said as if she were trying to solve a complex equation.

"Marriage is...not something I think I know how to do," he told her, looking very deeply into her eyes and questioning just how much this woman knew.

"Captain Butler, if you don't figure it out, when the boys come home, one of them will be lucky enough to catch her while you're away or during one of your fights, and you'll come back to Atlanta to find her married to someone else. If it wasn't for the war, do you think Scarlett would still be unmarried at 19 years old?"

It was a thought that startled him. He had taken for granted that Scarlett would dance and flirt with all the soldiers who passed through town, but when he was in Atlanta, he monopolized her time. He didn't leave her any time to entertain the soldiers who fell over themselves to get her attention. Possessiveness boiled unexpectedly inside him. He knew he held her heart, and the boys could look all they wanted, but he'd be damned if he let one of them touch her. "I'm not a marrying man, Miss Melly."

She smiled conspiringly at him, "Reformed rakes make the best husbands."

"Not when the rake is beyond reform. Surely you know my reputation."

She lowered her eyes bashfully, "Please don't think me nieve, Captain Butler. I hear what those around me say, and I know my husband's thoughts on the matter, but I am of a different opinion. Ashley hasn't seen the two of you together, and the rest of Atlanta hasn't held an inconsolable Scarlett while she cried over you as I have. The two of you have a love that makes everything else pale in comparison. If you aren't meant for marriage with each other, then I don't think the rest of us stand a fighting chance."

"You're a very convincing lady, Miss Melly," Rhett said, bowing his head out of respect.