Rei: OMFG I love you guys. You're all so kind to me. XD I feel so loved. So here's your update, hope you guys love it. Special thanks to Zero Hakaru for getting me off my lazy ass oo
NOTE: Due to my delight in discovering my dad's scanner, I can now do FANART for my story! Most people say I'm pretty good (I dunno about that o.o), but I hope you all like it. I'm going to draw a lot for my story so next time I go to my dad's house, I'm going to scan all my fanart and then save it, and transfer it to my computer and upload it. Most of the scenes will either be from humorous points in the story (that might be a little hard seeing as most of it is humor, lol.), or romantic. Today, I am almost done with a Clouffie picture. It has Cloud wearing his AC outfit and sitting down, and Yuffie (wearing her AC outfit, but the jacket and shorts are in a different shade) has one arm around him and her head lying on his shoulder. (Now everyone, I demand you say: "AWWWW". LOL jk.) Anyway I shall put that up when I put up my other stuff.
Dedicated to- (going in order from newest reviews to oldest, that's just how it goes LOL.)
Zero Hakaru (YAY I GET 10 points w00t!), 0utfoxed (Thanks! Glad you liked it and I won't sue you. I have no money.), Rina-chan (Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it XD), Man/Woman of Freedom (Funniest thing? WOW! YAY thanks XD, and lol I see a lot of people liked that part. Here's your chapter!), Sir Yzal (LOL it'll get better I'm sure. And XD thanks!), Monica (GAWD I love you! (No not like that) Your reviews always highlight my day whenever I see them. XD BUDDIES! Hope you like this chapter! glomp), Yuffie Leonheart (LOL yes he was. Hehehehe… And yes dedicated to XD but devoted counts too. XD), KitsuneNaruto135 (I told you in a PM, but I don't know myself… o.o But I just do. XD Don't you just love my randomness? XD), Tk Macintosh (AWWW thank you! XD Glad you like it.), Why knot (YAY!), LostxRaine (I adore your reviews! Glomp And yes, XD that part made me giggle too. Heheheheheh. I explained the other stuff in my response, but anyway hope you enjoy :D), FLUFFYTIGER (LOL Italian mob member! I can't get over that! And entertaining kids… You crack me up. LOL glad you like it!), Final-Fantasy-Angel9 (Awww thanks!), Kage ( :3 Okay I won't. Hehehe thanks buddy!),
And last but not least… KAWAII EYEZ! (You know what I said. I hope you're all better now! I know what it feels like. Hugs Thanks for reviewing! Enjoy)
Disclaimer: I don't own them… DAMMIT! I will someday… (Random person: Riiiight… Me: Oh shut up. I can dream, can't I? Random person: No! casts insomnia on Rei Me: NOOO!)
The Book of Cloud Chapter Three- Boobs, Flashbacks, and Shopping!
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
FlashbackOutside Tifa's Bar-
Cloud's POV (A treat! Here he is again… Cloud fans go wild XD)
I walked next to Yuffie, just a little bit behind her but still next to her when we were walking to Tifa's bar when outside the door, she balked.
"Yuff? What's wrong?" I asked, and rested my hand on her small shoulder. The skin beneath it was soft and warm, and her frame was delicate. She shivered a little bit. I hoped my hand wasn't cold.
She let out a sigh. "Do you think Teef will be happy to see me?" She turned to look at me, and her normally happy and bright grayish-brown eyes looked troubled.
I raised my own blonde eyebrows in astonishment. "Why wouldn't she be?" I said, giving voice to my own thoughts.
She blushed a bit, the red color painting her cheeks a nice pink shade. She bit her lip, and looked flustered and half-mumbled half-yelled, "Well it's just that… Erm… WELL it's…" She turned around. "Forget it! But if her giant boobs start squishing me, you'd better save me or I'll be a Yuffie-pancake!"
I blinked. 'I wonder what she wanted to say…' And then said, "I'll save you, but I don't think that would REALLY happen…" (Anything is possible… or so they say. So can you die of suffocation from huge boobs? 0.0 I don't know, and I sure hope not. LOL)
Inside the Bar-
Yuffie's POV (Yuffie: IT'S BACK TO ME! W00t!)
'Ugh. If Teef saw me and Cloud like that back there she would've killed me! That's what I was trying to say! Gawd… I just couldn't say it. Stupid Cloud, your hotness makes me go tongue-tied!'
I pushed open the door and the first thing that bubbled to my lips was, "TIFAAAA! I have arrived! It's me, the Great Ninja Yuffie!" All of the bar's inhabitants looked at me like I was one of them! OMFG! Which I was NOT! I am NOT drunk! "Save your applause for later, my drunken friends," I said sarcastically. Some of them rolled their eyes while others whispered something like, "Can you believe that kid?"
'KID!' I was in half a mind to beat the shit out of them! "Those bastards! Why I oughta…!" I was about to attack my newly dubbed 'prey' before I was glomped and greeted with a loud "YUFFIE! I MISSED YOU!"
'OMFG she's even louder than me!' I was practically squished, just like I thought I would be. 'CLOUDY YOU BETTER HELP ME!' My mind screamed before I managed to say, "Tifa… need…air…"
She looked sheepish, and let go. "Sorry…" I added under my breath, "Killer Boobs! You murderer!"
"What was that?" She gave me a weird look.
"I didn't say anything but 'I need air,' and 'I MISSED YOU!'" I explained hastily. 'Heheheheh… NOT. Boobs is a serial killer in disguise! Well I suppose it would be hard to disguise those gigantic boobs of hers… o.o'
She brightened, all suspicion gone. 'OMFG she has mood swings faster than Cloudy! She must be on something… Either that or she must be REALLY happy to see me! YAY!' "My goodness Yuffie, it has been so long!"
I nodded with a smile. "Yea I know. I found Spiky-" Cloud coughed and smiled a tiny bit. "Sorry, I mean CLOUD found me, although I woulda found him first if he wasn't playing 'hero'…" Cloud smiled in satisfaction, that I could see out of the corner of my eyes. If he weren't so damn hot I would've slapped that smirk off his face! But even then, I wouldn't 'cause he's my friend… 'Oooh this is getting me nowhere!'
Tifa smiled, and shook her head a little bit. I bet she's thinking, 'Same old Yuffie'… BUT IT'S NOT TRUE! I have changed a little… I have matured, as I'm sure she can see that… -.- Cloudy too. Although it would take more than my BEAUTIFUL face to get him to admit it… or would it? Nyuck nyuck nyuck.
Tifa beamed at Cloud and me. "I'm so glad to see you Yuffie! I was beginning to wonder if I would have to go to Wutai and take you on that shopping trip I promised you!"
My face paled. 'Shopping…trip?' Then I remembered…
Time To Enter Another Flashback!Yuffie's POV
'OMFG. Where the hell is Tifa? She said she would meet up with me today… And I've been waiting for over three hours!' "GAAAAAAAAH!" I was blowing a gasket, I'm sure. I mean, wouldn't you from sitting on a stupid cramped bench between an old lecherous-looking old man (and no, it's not Cid this time, although it wouldn't surprise me if it WAS) and a weird little kid who was rocking back and forth like he was pretending to be an old lady in her rocking chair! He was mumbling to himself and it was just plain creepy.
Finally, Miss Boobs herself bounced (HAHA bounced) up to meet me with a very apologetic look on her face. "Hey Yuff, sorry I'm late! I got held up and-"
I jumped up and put my hand on her mouth. "Don't say another word…" I dragged her away from the evil old man and the freaky kid and then I let it all out.
"TIFA! How could you let me wait so long! MORE THAN THREE HOURS! Sitting in between those two? The little kid must be on drugs or something or maybe he's POSSESSED! He wouldn't shut up about this little ghost girl he met back in preschool- and he sounds like a miniature Vinnie! OMG! And that old man was a pervert! He wouldn't stop starin' at my boobs! He acted as if they were the most fascinating things he had ever seen! EWWWWWWWWW! WHY WERE YOU GONE SO LONG!"
Tifa looked a little flustered as she said, "I'm so sorry Yuffie, I was on my way out when Cloud stopped me and asked if we could talk for a bit! I was so happy I forgot and we ended up speaking for over two hours! And then he told me you were waiting for me and that I should go, but then I ran into Denzel and Marlene, and they wanted to play and I couldn't just say NO to them-"
I was about ready to kick her ass and cut off her boobs and shove them down her throat! (Me: 00) "TIFA…" I said slowly but deadly.
She smiled sickly sweet and said, "Yes Yuffie?" Was that a little sarcasm I detected in her voice? 'OH. IT'S ON.'
"You have three seconds before I kill you."
She yelped a little bit and ran away and I ran after two seconds, as I wasn't patient enough to wait another. "Yuffie I swear I will make it up to you!" She yelled while running away from me, just barely ahead. I whipped out Conformer to help me execute my plan.
"CAN IT BOOBS! Your jellified so called male-"EYE CANDY" are gonna get turned into chop-suey when I'm done with you!" I swiped at her with my Conformer and barely missed.
We ran into a dark alley and it was a dead end. 'OH! Time to make my killing blow, nyuck!'
She turned around and said with a hasty smile, "Now Yuffie, I promise I will NEVER be late EVER again and you can have a free shopping trip where I pay for EVERYTHING!"
"Everything…?" I lowered my Conformer just a bit.
She nodded. "On one condition…"
I squinted my eyes just a bit. What? It made me look more menacing, I think. Cid said constipated but WHO WOULD LISTEN TO HIM? "What is it?"
"I get to pick any clothes if we do clothes shopping."
'WHAT! She knows I hate all the freaky girly things she makes me wear!' "NO WAY!"
"Then I won't give you my MASTERED Shiva summon materia."
At the words 'materia' and 'mastered', my ears perked up. 'THAT'S GONNA BE MINE!' I thought to myself and I poked her in the forehead. "You have yourself a deal! Now gimme the materia!"
She sighed and handed it over to me. I relished it and petted it, crooning, "My preciousssssssssssss…"
She looked at me strangely and said, "Yuffie, if I didn't know you better I'd say you would be the Gollum person in Lord of the Rings…"
I looked at her with an incredulous look. "I SO DO NOT HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES! OR BI-POLAR DISORDER! Go pick up Robin Hood for that job."
"Who's Robin Hood?"
"Cough Umm nobody."
"Well in any case lets get going…"
"I'm still gonna kill you someday Tifa." Tifa didn't say anything. HA!
Back to the Fut- I Mean Present
"Right now?" I squeaked.
She nodded. "Yeah, I can leave the girls in charge." She turned to them and said, "Girls, I'm going to head out for a few hours. Can you take it from here?" They nodded and cried, "Yes Boss!"
"Jeez you have them trained to be at your command or what?" I couldn't help but say. Maybe they were secretly mechanical dolls or something… I saw Boobs as the type to play with dolls as a little kid but THIS… scary. OMFG what if I'm right! EEK.
"Hehehe, it pays to be the one in charge sometimes." She checked her purse. "Ahh, I've got enough gil. How about you Cl-" She saw him trying to slip away inconspicuously. "CLOUD!"
He turned around. He looked a little pale… OMG! I think Cloud's afraid of SHOPPING! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course, I am too (only with Tifa though!). WOW, we still have so much in common! This makes me feel a lot better.
"Yes?" He asked, while sounding like he hadn't done anything at all. 'Why can't I do that? Every time I try people automatically assume it's me! le sob'
"Where are you going?"
"To the bathroom?" I'm sure Spiky slapped himself on the inside for that one! Even I wouldn't have said that... I think
"The bathroom is inside."
"I know…"
"Then WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
"SPIKY, I hope you're not going NATUREBOY on us… OMFG I did not just want to think of that! BAD IMAGES! IT BURNS!" Well it did in a way but the nature thing scared me. 0o
Every body was veeeeeeeeeeeery silent in the room. I swear I heard crickets chirp. Okay so maybe that wasn't very smart to shout… BUT HE STARTED IT!
Cloud waslike this:"…"
Tifa was very quiet, but then she broke the silence by saying, "Anyway… Cloud you're coming with us, no ifs ands or buts or I will personally force you to."
He sighed and said, "Fine… But I choose my OWN clothing, not you."
Boobs sighed and I grinned to myself. 'He never said me choosing his clothing…! NYUCK!'
"Fine, you win. Lets go everybody!"
Some Time After Arriving At The Mall of Doom (what Yuffie calls it)-
Yuffie's POV
OMG. I am so… BORED…! Boobs is trying on some clothes right now, she said she only had 'a few items to get before we get mine done' but she's been in there for HALF AN HOUR. I think Cloudy is getting bored too, his eyebrow is twitching up and down… LOL! It's hilarious. It reminds me of Vinnie when he's pissed, except he's got a gun in his hand, and yeah… RUN AWAY! But Cloudy's not aiming to shoot a certain someone out of his way.
After that moment left, I am still bored. I can't stare at my new shiny materia because after staring at it for 15 minutes my eyes started to hurt… But they were so PRETTY I just had to. Cloud must've thought the enchanting orbs were HYPNOTIZING me from the look on his face.
All of a sudden he looks right at me! My face turns red and my heart beats just a little faster- like the Energizer Bunny beating kind. He asks me, "Do you want to play Tic-Tac-Toe?"
OMFG. Cloud actually… STARTED A CONVERSATION FIRST! Sniff I'm so proud of him! "Heck yea! And I'll beat you too!"
He shrugs and says, "Maybe… Maybe not." He took out a pad and pen he had stored in a pocket. WOW! I didn't know Cloud kept that kind of stuff around! Hehehe. Maybe I should write him a note and stick it in his pocket sometime. :3 Well… That's assuming Cloud lets me put my hand in his pants-POCKET! That would've made me sound like a dirty perv! GAH! It's all Reno's fault, I swear!
"I'll be X… you can be O. You go first." I was delighted and put the O in the middle square. "BEAT THAT SPIKY! I'm the MASTER of this game." You know what's the funny thing about Tic-Tac-Toe? XO means hugs and kisses. LOL.
He put the X in the upper left-hand corner. "We'll see." OMG! He's even REPLYING! This really is a revolution in Cloudy's behavior! I should note it in my book.
I put the O right underneath the X. Chocobo-Crayon then put the X at the end of my two-square O-string. 'Crapples!' I stuck the O in the bottom middle square. He put the X in the upper-right hand corner. I just realized that I was cornered. Even if I put it to block one row of Xs I'd still end up losing! I pouted. "Cloudy that was a fluke! I wasn't paying attention."
He only smirked at me, a very smexy smirk I might add. GRRR… But you can't help but loving it. It's just too hot. "Another round!"
He said, "it's on," and made another tic-tac-toe board.
Several losses and wins later, we were evenly matched. "Wow Spiky, looks like we're both on the same level!" I said excitedly. He nodded with a small smile. "I guess so Yuffie."
I was just about to yell for Tifa when she FINALLY appeared. "Hey guys, sorry I took so long, I was trying to find the right stuff."
Ha ha, the right stuff? Meaning, finding something to actually wear without giving the appearance that the bust line had to be altered. But I suppose I didn't really mind, I got to play Tic-Tac-Toe with Spiky! That had to count for something, and I wasn't bored anymore. :3
"So, Teef, what now?" Asked Cloud, while putting away the paper and pen into his pockets, which I eyed with maniacal intent. I have a fascination with Cloud's pants pockets now… Does that sound healthy to some of you? 0.o
I turned my attention back to Tifa in time to see a very devilish look cross her face. She grinned, which looked absolutely FREAKY on her, and said, "It's Yuffie's turn."
Oh HELL no. She's gonna turn me into a MINI BOOBS! NOOOOOO! "Ah- uhm, shouldn't it be Cloud's turn next?" I asked.
"I'm sure Cloud wouldn't mind waiting for you, Yuff. Now in you go!" She practically SHOVED me into the dressing room! Does that not sound like an evil operation 'Turn-Yuffie-Into-A-Mini-Tifa' has commenced! I want OUT. I pounded on the door but it was locked, and the space between the floor and the door and the ceiling and the door was a little too small for me to fit through. 'NOOO! It certainly sounds like she wants to lock me in here…! I knew it! She REALLY IS trying to turn me into a Mini Boobs! Gawd, Aeris I wish you were here to save me! And Cloud has been forced into her evil plan too I bet! To make me off my guard while she shoves me in! Nah, he probably wouldn't do it on purpose. He's a good guy! He's not on the dark side… I think.'o.o
While I was musing an article of clothing landed on my head… And I looked up just in time to see a WATERFALL of clothes fall down on me! "GAH! Tifa are you trying to kill me! I can barely breathe!"
"Sorry Yuffie but these would all look so ADORABLE on you!" She squee'd so loud I swear I heard glass shatter! I picked up some of the clothes, and WHAT THE one of them looks like a friggen doll's dress… only… my size. 'What the heck! I'm a doll now too? I guess I'd better put them on before she has a Sephiroth…'
I discarded the dress because I'd rather not wear that one right away. And plus I know Teef wants me to model… I'd always have to do that for her and Aeri-chan shopping way back then. (Hey, a girl had to have time to shop for new clothes you know. Our outfits got ripped plenty of times so we had to buy replicas… However Aeris never realized that her outfit was not fighting fit --)
I put on the first outfit I could find matched together, a dressy-looking blouse in a nice shade of purple with a white flower on the chest area. It fit comfortably, but not my choice of shirt. I put on white shorts with the same kind of flower print only the purple color was on the flowers, and marching up the sides of the legs of my shorts. I liked the shorts more than the shirt.
I proceeded to try on a lot of evil skirts and some shirts that were disturbingly reminiscent of Tifa's old white top back four years ago, and it made my boobs look bigger. 0.0 'I am NOT ever wearing that!' I threw it over the door and heard with satisfaction as it landed on somebody. I sniggered but then I heard some one say "Yuffie… try not to throw clothes on my head, please." It was CLOUD! I broke down into a fit of giggles. It just sounded really funny… And if only I had a pair of underwear! Now THAT would be funny to see falling on his head! OMG! LOLOLOL! He'd be like the pig Oolong from Dragonball. I can SO see Cloud wishing a pair of panties from the Eternal Dragon… AHAHAHAHA! I laughed out loud and stuffed my fist into my mouth in order to muffle the laughing. It didn't work, because I heard Cloud say, "Uh… Yuff? Are you okay in there?"
"I'm just fine…! Snigger Pantyman."
"Panty…?"
"I didn't say anything… giggle"
Cloud's response: "…"
I heard Tifa come back as she threw a whole bunch MORE clothes on my head… 'I swear…!' My thoughts were cut off as I heard Boobs say, "Oh my goodness! Cloud, are you running a fever? Your face is so red!"
I burst into laughter. 'CLOUD IS A PANTY MAN! Now if Reno heard that he'd never live it down!'
"Yuffie, did you do something to him? He looks like his 14 year old self when he first learned about…mmph!" Cloud must've stopped her from talking because he whispered, "Don't. Say. Anything." I heard a few loud stomps that left (Cloud's acting like a little boy AWWW X3) from the area. I paused for a moment. ... Okay. Moment's over.
"Learned about what?" I sang as I opened the door, now dressed in something I LIKED. Which wasa light-weight cotton tank top in my favorite shade of green, and the fabric was ribbed. The reason I liked it so much was because it looked exactly like Cloud's black shirt he wore two years ago. I was also wearing army-color pants in green to match, and they had a lot of deep POCKETS! W00t! I love pockets now. The pants had also come with a bunch of criss-crossing belts! OH YEAH! Now I can be Cloudy's twin…er…umm…MATCHING GIRLFRIEND! Or something. Okay, so that was cheesy, but so what? The outfit is sexy.
I forgot to mention that I'm also wearing combat boots in black, all nice and shiny and leathery. They look sorta like Cloudy's too! But why would Tifa give me this? Surely she would give herself this or somethin'… To show her devotion, ya know?
Well anyway, I pranced (yes, PRANCED) out and gave a cheesy grin and a peace sign. "So what do you think?" I asked.
Tifa squee'd VERY loudly and gave me a BIG, bone-crushing hug. "Yuffie you look so CUTE! Now if only your hair was spiked we might have a mini-Cloud!" I punched her lightly in the shoulder. "I'm fine being a Yuffie, but I REALLY like this outfit!" I told her.
She smiled. "Cloud picked it out for you to 'avoid further boredom' he said."
I laughed a bit. "Hey, speakin' of Spikes, where is he?"
"Oh, he went to go get some clothes for himself… Since he wouldn't let me, you know, get him anything." She pouted a little and crossed her arms.
'He never said I couldn't…' I reminded myself with an evil smile. But then I put a happy smile back on my face. "I'm gonna go say thank you! And the clothes I liked are in the pile to the right." With that I rushed off, inwardly laughing as I heard Tifa cry out "Yuffie!" in exasperation. There was indeed a VERY small pile of clothes I liked, which consisted of only four outfits (out of the 50 she threw me I swear) and six pairs of individual articles of clothing I wanted. 'Too bad Teef, but if you wanna shop for me you got to know what I like best!' I thought to myself. 'Can't blame her for trying though. She cares.'
I soon found the men's section of the store we were in and I knocked on one of closed doors. "Knock knock!" I called in my singsong voice.
"Who's there?" That wasn't Cloud's voice! It was… FEMININE-SOUNDING! AHHH! FEMMEMAN HAS RETURNED TO HAUNT US! (Femmeman is a nickname of mine for Yazoo... oo don't ask)
"Uhm… nevermind." 'I'm not trying that again. O.o'
I walked up to the other remaining closed door and said in my best, deepest, MASCULINE-sounding voice, "Cloud Strife, this is the local Edge Police. Open up now or be forced into Yuffie's slavery!" Okay so the last part gave it away… But I couldn't resist!
"Yuffie, I'm doing something, can you wait?"
"Nu-uh! I need to ask you something… IN PRIVATE…" 'O.O That last part didn't sound too innocent-sounding… okay I really need to get my mind out of the gutter. I wonder if they sell mind-numbing soap around here?'
He opened the door and he was gasp SHIRTLESS! (This is for the Cloud people… Enjoy your prize :3) I almost drooled! 'He's got really sexy abs… And arms! Look at those guns! Rawr!'
"What do you need?" At the proximity of his voice, I look up, just a little meekly. I hope he did NOT just catch me staring at him. I blushed a bit, and then I gave him a hug. "Thanks for the cool clothes, Mistah Cloud!" I grinned and then let go with an even bigger blush. And then I finally dared to look at him.
His cheeks… were tinted… RED! 'HOLY SEPHIROTH-HAS-STABBED-MY-INSIDES!' I blinked. And blinked again. Yes, it was THIS shocking.
Finally, I said in almost what I'd like to call a 'ghostly' whisper, "Cloud Strife… Are you BLUSHING?"
He chose not to answer that- 'wise… but not what I wanted!' He said a hurried "you're welcome" and then shut the door.
'WAH! No more shirtless Cloudy! And a blushing Spikes is adorable too. A new brand of color crayon- the 'Blushing Cloud'! OMG!'
Finally I found my voice to speak. "Cloud Strife, answer my question now or admit you are a fake!"
"Excuse me?"
"That's much better now!" I grinned again. Making Cloud ask questions was just plain entertainment! This is definitely going to be fun… Even though I've only spent less than ONE day with Cloud, already things were heating up just a tad. I can't wait to see what will happen as time goes on…!
End of Chapter Three
Rei: OH. MY. GOD. That must've been the LONGEST chapter I've ever written for The Book of Cloud! I am so proud of myself! hugs self And show me your appreciation by reviewing… Please :3 Also, if you've got any questions please feel free to PM me. Thank you! Also, whoever figures out what happened to Cloud as a 14 year old you will either be devoted to in the next chapter OR add an event or something funny to it... I don't know... Something like that :3 Until next time!
Rei