Chapter 13: Problems With Happiness

Scarlett ran out of the hospital, unable to stand the screams of the amputation Dr. Mead wanted her to assist him with. What she came out to was more shocking, however. The street was filled with people rushing about in carriages or on foot, all hurrying to get out of Atlanta before Sherman came. She rushed down the stairs, unsure of where to go, then jumped down into the street and was instantly swept away by the wave of people.

She was pushed from every side and losing all sense of direction when she heard a resounding voice call out to her over the yelling and cannon fire. "Scarlett! Whoa! Climb into this buggy! This is no day for walking! You'll get run over." Rhett drove up beside her and pulled her into his buggy.

Scarlett was so relieved to see his reassuring face that she clung to his broad arms and was pulled into the carriage gratefully. "Rhett, ride me to Miss Pitty's, please." She said, relieved and catching her breath.

They rode through the street slowly; Scarlett on the edge of her seat, Rhett looked relaxed and aloof, despite his tight reign on the horse. "Panic's a pretty sight, isn't it?" A cannon went off in the distance, startling Scarlett and the horse, "Whoa, whoa. That's just another one of General Sherman's calling cards. He'll be paying us a visit soon." Rhett explained, taking the opportunity to put a comforting arm around her.

"I've gotta get out of here! I gotta get out of here before the Yankees come!" She exclaimed.

"And leave your work at the hospital? Or have you had enough of death and lice and men chopped up? Well, I suppose you weren't meant for sick men, Scarlett."

"Don't talk to me like that, Rhett! I'm so scared. I wish I'd get out of here!"

"Let's get out of here together," He said into her ear. "No use staying here, letting the South come down around your ears. There are too many nice places to go and visit. Mexico, London, Paris..."

"With you?" she asked, annoyed. She scooted over and out of his reach, remembering that she wasn't supposed to talk to him at all.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm the man who understands you and admires you for just what you are. I figure we belong together, being the same sort."

"Why, Rhett, are you asking me to marry you?" she asked sarcastically. She folded her arms, wishing they would just reach Pitty's.

"Yes, Scarlett, I am," he said calmly, not looking away from the road in front of him.

She whipped her head around and looked at him, "You had better be serious, Rhett Butler because if you're not, I'll-"

"I assure you, my dear, I'm quite serious," finally, he turned to her, and he couldn't keep a smile off his face, "Marry me, Scarlett. Say you will."

Laughter bubbled up inside of her, and she couldn't speak because she was smiling so hard. She threw her arms around Rhett in the middle of Peachtree Street for everyone to see and giggled, "Yes! Yes! Of course, I will!" she pulled away from him but kept her hand on his arm, unable to stop from touching him. "You think after all I've gone through to force your hand, I'll say no to you now?" she asked, returning his smile.

"I'd prefer not to chance it. It has been quite a while since I've talked to you, so I need to be sure your feelings haven't changed," he said with mock seriousness.

"Oh no, no! My feelings are just the same. I'm still madly in love with you!" she said, giggling happily at their silliness.

Rhett smiled at her, feeling absolutely certain he had made the right decision. A sense of rightness passed over him. As if every choice he had ever made up to that point had served to lead him to that moment. "Good. Well then, how does Friday sound?"

"For what?" she asked, confused but too excited to really care what he was talking about.

"To get married, of course."

Scarlett looked at him, startled, "Friday? We can't marry Friday! That's only four days from now!" she exclaimed. "Why in the world do you want to get married this week?"

"Well, my dear, if you haven't noticed, Sherman is knocking at our door, and I wouldn't mind experiencing a siege, but I don't think you'll enjoy it very much." Rhett looked at her and became very serious, "I want to take you away from here, Scarlett, and we don't have much time. If we don't leave town by the end of the week, I'm not sure we'll be able to make it out in one piece."

A pit grew in Scarlett's stomach, "We've gotta get out of here, Rhett!" she exclaimed, holding tightly onto him.

"Friday it is then," he said, putting a comforting arm around her when another cannon went off.

When they arrived at Pitty's house, Prissy came running up to them yelling. "Miz Scarlett, Miz Scarlett! Folks are all goin' to Macon! And folks is runnin' away and runnin' away!"

Rhett lifted her out of the buggy as Pitty came running out the door, "I can't bear it! Those cannonballs right in my ears! I faint every time I hear one!" A cannon went off in the distance causing the three women to shriek. "Uncle Peter, look out for that trunk," Pitty said, throwing a hat box into her carriage.

"Aunt Pitty, you aren't leaving?" Scarlett asked, startled.

Pitty stopped and held her handkerchief tightly, "I may be a coward, but – oh dear, Yankees in Georgia! How did they ever get in?" She shrieked.

"I'm going too!" Scarlett exclaimed, "Prissy, go pack my things. Get them, quick!" she turned to Rhett, "We'll leave now! We'll go to Tara and get married there," she said.

"Scarlett!" Pitty said, shocked by her statement, but she was interrupted by Dr. Meade yelling from across the street.

"Scarlett? What is this? You aren't planning on running away?"

"And don't you dare try to stop me!" Scarlett said defiantly, "I'm never going back to that hospital. I've had enough of smelling death and rot and death. I'm going home and getting married!" she said, her heart racing with fear.

"Now you've got to listen to me. You must stay here!" Dr. Meade told her scoldingly.

"Without a chaperon, Dr. Meade? It simply isn't done!" Pitty interjected.

"Good heavens, woman, this is war, not a garden party! Scarlett, you've got to stay. Melanie needs you. She's ill already. She shouldn't even be having a baby. She may have a difficult time," Dr. Mead explained slowly to her and Rhett.

"Well, can't we take her along?" Scarlett asked desperately.

"Do you want to take that chance? Do you want her to be jounced over rough roads and have her baby ahead of time, in a buggy?" Dr. Meade asked.

Rhett put an arm around Scarlett, "We can't leave, darling. We have to stay with Miss Melly."

"It isn't my baby. You take care of her!" Scarlett cried.

"Ashley's fighting in the fields, fighting for the Cause. He may never come back. He may die. Scarlett, we owe him a well-borne child," Dr. Meade told her sternly.

"If you're coming, Scarlett, hurry!" Pitty yelled from her buggy.

"I promised Ashley…" Scarlett reminded herself weakly.

"We're staying," Rhett yelled back to Pitty, and Dr. Meade nodded his head and left.

"Well, it would appear I'll get to see a siege after all," Rhett said trying to lift Scarlett's spirits. She glared at him as he'd expected, and he put an arm around her and ushered her into the house.

Once inside, Rhett stopped her in the hallway, "I'm too ardent a lover to restrain my passion any longer," he said with mock seriousness.

"Rhett Butler! You are a cad!" she exclaimed playfully, slapping his chest, only to leave her hand there. She gave no resistance when he pulled her into his arms, taking advantage of the now quiet house and holding her close.

"I still want you more than any woman I've ever seen, and I thought you'd be interested to know it," his warm breath tickled her ear, and her toes curled inside her work boots.

She belonged to Rhett, forever and ever. She had never belonged to any of the other boys she had flirted with. Every part of her, almost everything she had ever done, striven after, attained, belonged to Rhett, were done because she loved him. Rhett and Tara, she belonged to them. The smiles, the laughter, the kisses she had given to the soldiers passing through were Rhett's.

She did not know that her face had changed, that reverie had brought a softness to her face which Rhett had never seen before. He looked at the slanting green eyes, wide and misty, and the tender curve of her lips and for a moment his breath stopped. Then his mouth went down to hers with passionate impatience.

His arms were around her, as sure and hard as that afternoon in her bedroom. She felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. And every thought was blurred and drowned to nothingness.

He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.

Scarlett laid her head on his chest and savored the moment of being near him again until another cannon blast went off, and she flinched, holding him tighter. "Since we're not leaving Atlanta, maybe we should wait to get married," she said. "We can wait until the war is over, or at least until Melly can make the journey to Tara safely."

With a suddenness that startled her, he slid out of her arms and onto his knees, and with one hand placed delicately over his heart, he recited rapidly:

"Forgive me for startling you with the impetuosity of my sentiments, my dear Scarlett-I mean, my dear Miss O'Hara. It cannot have escaped your notice that for some time past the friendship I have had in my heart for you has ripened into a deeper feeling, a feeling more beautiful, more pure, more sacred. Dare I name it you? Ah! It is love which makes me so bold!"

"Do get up," she entreated. "You look such a fool, and suppose Melly should come down and see you?"

"She would be stunned and incredulous at the first signs of my gentility," said Rhett, arising lightly. "Come, Scarlett, you are no child, no schoolgirl to put me off with foolish excuses about decency and so forth. Say you'll marry me Friday, before God, I'll stay around here and play a guitar under your window every night and sing at the top of my voice and compromise you, so you'll have to marry me immediately to save your reputation."

His mouth was on hers again and she surrendered without a struggle, too weak even to turn her head, without even the desire to turn it, her heart shaking her with its poundings, fear of his strength and her nerveless weakness sweeping her. What was he going to do? She would faint if he did not stop. If he would only stop-if he would never stop.

"Say Yes!" His mouth was poised above hers and his eyes were so

close that they seemed enormous, filling the world. "Say Yes, damn you, or-"

She whispered "Yes" before she even thought. It was almost as if he had willed the word and she had spoken it without her own volition. But even as she spoke it, a sudden calm fell on her spirit, her head began to stop spinning and she was overtaken by giddiness.

When he spoke his voice was very calm.

"You meant it? You don't want to take it back?"

"No."

"It's not just because I've-what is the phrase?-'swept you off your feet' by my-er-ardor?"

She could not answer for she did not know what to say, nor could

she meet his eyes. He put a hand under her chin and lifted her face.

"You're marrying a fine young man who has a bad reputation and a way with women. It'll be fun. And quite enjoyable, too, isn't it? I'll wager you never discussed the marital relation with a man before."

She scowled at him. Rhett knew too much. She wondered where he had learned all he knew about women. It wasn't decent, "You're a vulgar skunk! How can you claim to love me then speak to me like that?"

"I'm in love with you just as much as you are with me. Heaven help me, but I'm a man who really loves you."

"You once said it was the height of bad form for husbands and wives to love each other."

"I once said too God damn many things," he retorted abruptly.

"Don't swear."

"You'll have to get used to it and learn to swear too. You'll have

to get used to all my bad habits. I tried to warn you that I'm not meant for marriage, but you persisted that it was what you wanted. So here I am, Scarlett, warning you that this is not going to be the fairy tale you've made it out to be in your mind. Marriage is not going to make our relationship any less rocky than it has always been. I'm going to stay out late. I will get drunk and play cards, but I promise I will never go upstairs. You are going to be shunned by polite society, but I promise I will never give them reason to question my love for you. I am going to pack up and leave on a whim, and there will be times I cannot take you with me, but I promise that I will always return to you."

"Rhett, why do you have to ruin every romantic moment? Couldn't you just let me be a cheerful bride anxiously awaiting her wedding day?"

He smirked at her, and his hand dipped below her waist. In her simple nurse's dress, without all the petticoats, he could feel the shape of her, and he pulled her close. "Have no doubt, my darling, I don't give a damn about the wedding day. It's the wedding night I am anxiously awaiting." His lips slid down to her throat and finally he pressed them against the cotton over her breast, so hard and so long that his breath burnt to her skin. Her hands struggled up, pushing him away in outraged modesty. "Your heart's going like a rabbit's," he said mockingly. "All too

fast for mere fondness I would think, if I were conceited. Smooth

your ruffled feathers."

She wavered momentarily between interest in his words and a feminine desire to prolong the scene. He abruptly started off across the hall and she followed him, bewildered, to the closed door.

"What is the matter? Where are you going?"

"To arrange a wedding."

"Oh, but-"

"But, what?"

"Nothing."

Scarlett trailed after him, somewhat at a loss, a trifle disappointed as at an unexpected anticlimax.

"Aren't you-"

"Well?" He seemed impatient to be off.

"Aren't you going to kiss me good-by?" she whispered, mindful of

the ears of the house.

"Don't you think you've had enough kissing for one evening?" he

retorted and grinned down at her. "To think of a modest, well-

brought-up young woman- Well, I told you it would be fun, didn't

I?"

"Oh, you are impossible!" she cried in wrath, not caring if Melly

did hear. "And I don't care if you never come back."

She turned and flounced toward the stairs, and felt his warm hand on her arm, stopping her. "But I will come back," he said, pulling her into his arms again.

R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S&R&S

Scarlett wired her family that afternoon and then sat with Melanie, both sewing wildly, trying to make a gown from scraps and two of Scarlett's old dresses. When they had finished, Scarlett looked beautiful, but she was disappointed that she would look like every other war bride had during the wedding rush all month. Her dress was obviously pieced together, and even though she had the wild idea of pulling down Pitty's curtains, there never would have been time to make an entirely new dress.

The night before her wedding, Scarlett sat in bed with Melly when Prissy knocked at the door, "Miz Scarlett, this package just come for ya'."

Scarlet jumped up from the bed to retrieve the large box and opened the card excitedly.

My darling,

I did not know until recently, but I have been waiting for tomorrow all of my life. As I sit in my hotel room, my mind wanders in amazement to the fact that tomorrow night I will not be here alone. I feel compelled by nothing more in this world than to make you happy, and I hope this wedding gift will be the first step of many in that direction.

I await tomorrow impatiently, my dear, for the moment when you will become mine forever. I love you more with every passing day.

Yours always,

RKB

Scarlett nearly swooned at his words, but there was no time for that when she had Rhett's present to open! She flew at the box, struggling with the string and then ripping apart the brown paper. She began jumping up and down wildly when she saw what was inside the box.

"What is it, Scarlett?" Melanie asked from the bed.

"Rhett sent me a wedding present," she said, pulling it out of the box. She held up an exquisite satin wedding gown, more beautiful than anything she'd seen in years. Far more striking than Maybell Merryweather's silly thing.

"Oh, Scarlett!" Melly exclaimed, standing from the bed and waddling over to examine the fine gown. "It's the most darling thing!"

"I know! Isn't it? I'll go get my corset. I have to try it on!" she said, running from the room, holding the dress tightly.