(Note: I decided to move the update date up to Monday. It's more convenient and easier to remember.)
Goofy looked up at the perpetual night sky and saw a star blink out. "Gawrsh, there goes one now!" he said, pointing. Donald looked up just as it disappeared.
The duck shook his head in disappointment. "That's a shame. I wonder what poor sap lived there?"
"We should find Leon. He'll be able to help us out..."
Pluto ran into a nearby alley, where, behind a box, Sora slept peacefully.
The dog licked him on the face.
"Five more minutes, Mom..." he groaned.
"RUFF!" barked Pluto. Sora shot up.
"Argh!" gasped Sora. "Oh, hey..." He looked up and down the alley, and got up. "Where am I?" He looked at the buildings beyond the alley. "Oh, geez..." He looked at Pluto. "Hey, boy, do you know where we are?"
Pluto's ear shot up, and he ran off.
"Hey wait!" Sora said. "Aw, man..." Sora walked out of the alley, looking around. "This is so weird... I'm in another world!"
Traverse Town
He walked to the inviting building nearby, a building with a sign that read, "Accessory Shop" above it in big, neon letters. He walked in.
"What can I do ya for?" Cid asked, but his cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth as he saw who entered. "Oh. It's just a kid." He scowled and went back to cleaning the counter. "Darn kids, think they can walk in anytime they feel like it..."
"Hey, I'm not a kid, gramps," Sora said, looking mad. "And my name's Sora!"
"Calm down, and don't call me gramps. You lost your mommy, Sora?"
Sora looked distraught. "Yes!" he said, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Aww, it's all right, Sora. You just come to ol' Uncle Cid if you ever need anything."
"Thanks Uncle Cid," Sora said, sniffing. He cheered up right away, walking out and to the Second District.
A fat man ran by and tripped, looking extremely scared.
A thing in clunky black armor came running up, leering at the man creepily. Just as it was about to strike with a clawed hand, it said, "Go on, tell a joke, Jerry."
"Umm... So there are two muffins in an oven, right?"
"Yes."
"One muffin turns to the other and says, 'oh woe is me, who shall be devoured as soon as I go to the outside world!'..."
"Mm-hmm."
"And the other muffin gasps and goes, 'Oh my God, a talking muffin!'" Jerry chuckled hopefully.
The armor-clad creature laughed uncontrollably for about a minute before sighing, wiping away a humorous tear, and then frowned. "Wrong answer, Jerry." It slashed at Jerry, causing him to fade away and laughs could be heard as he went out of existence. The thing chuckled darkly. "Yes, that's it... more humor, I must have mo--"
"Umm, excuse me?" Sora said, looking freaked out.
"HUUURGH?" gasped the thing, looking shocked.
"What did you just do to him?"
Instead of answering, the thing charged at him. Sora ran back to the First District and into Cid's shop.
"Still can't find your mom, Sora? Keep lookin' around town."
"Okay, Uncle Cid!" said Sora enthusiastically, going back into the dark, unforgiving city.
"They'll come at you out of nowhere..."
Sora looked around, spotting... "David Boreanaz? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be like, killing vampires or something?"
"..." said Squall, rolling his eyes and sighing. "And they'll keep on coming at you, as long as you continue to weild the Keyblade. But why? Why would it choose a kid like you?"
"Are you implying that I'm a worthless piece of child?"
"I could be saying that..."
"Then why don't you come over here and let me prove that I'm not?"
"This isn't Burger King. You can't have it your way."
And so they fought. And what would you know? Sora won.
"Now... you're... gonna..." panted Sora, looking woozy. "You're gonna..." He fell backwards, unconscious.
"..." said Squall, shifting his eyes around and hoping nobody saw what just happened.
Unfortunately for him, Yuffie just happened to see.
"Aw, you're slipping, Leon," said Yuffie.
"I went easy on him," said 'Leon'. "He's lucky I didn't call in the rest of the cast of Final Fantasy VIII."
Yuffie shivered. "Yeah..."
Meanwhile...
"Somehow I don't think the King his here, Donald," Goofy said, looking worried. "Sure is spooky..."
"You're just saying that because nobody's around," Donald said. "You big 'fraidy-cat. There's nothing to be scared of!"
"Excuse me?" asked a girl, tapping Donald on the shoulder. He flew into the air, knocking Goofy into a wall. "Oh! I'm sorry..."
Donald turned around, only to see...
"I thought you were dead," Goofy said, scratching his head under his hat. "Y'know, you died in that one game and you were sent to the bottom of a pond and you're probably all rotted by--"
"There's a lot a Phoenix Down can do," Aeris said, winking and smiling conspiratorially.
Meanwhile...
"Come on, lazy bum," said Kairi, "wake up."
Sora blinked, disoriented. "Wha...?"
"Don't tell me you're still dreaming," scoffed the girl. "Are you okay?"
"I guess," Sora said, sitting up.
"Those creatures that were chasing you are after the Keyblade," Kairi informed him. "But it's your humor they really want, because you wield the Keyblade."
"...What?" Sora asked. "I'm glad you're okay, Kairi, but you're not making much sense."
"Kairi? Who's that?" asked Yuffie. "Nope! I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie!" She pointed at herself. She turned around. "I think you may have overdone it, Squall..."
"That's Leon," grumbled Squall.
"Whatever. Anyway, we had to get the Keyblade away from you or else those creatures would've ruined this nice hotel room. It turns out that's how they were tracking you."
Sora spotted the Keyblade sitting propped against the door. And how is that supposed to shake them...?
"It was the only way to conceal your humor from them," Squall said. "But it won't work for long. Still, it's hard to believe that it chose a dumb kid for its weilder..." He picked it up, and in a flash of light, the Keyblade was in Sora's hands.
Sora jumped. "What? What's going on here?"
"Okay, you know how your castle and this town aren't the only worlds out there?" Aeris said to Donald and Goofy in the adjacent room.
"Yeah..." said Donald, nodding. Goofy blinked.
"But they're supposed to be a secret," Goofy said, scratching his head.
"Well, they have been a secret... That is, until now. When the Farceless came, everything changed..."
"The Farceless?" Sora asked.
"The ones who attacked you, remember?" Yuffie said, now sitting on the bed next to Sora.
"Those without farce... The bad humor people possess--that's what attracts them," Squall said, looking at the floor. "And there is bad humor in every person."
Yuffie looked at Sora. "Hey, have you heard of a guy named Ansem?"
"Ansem?" asked Goofy.
"He was studying the Farceless," Aeris said. "He recorded all of his findings in a very detailed and riddle-filled report."
"Gawrsh, can we see it?" asked Goofy.
"I would let you read it, but its pages are scattered everywhere," said Aeris, shaking her head and looking at her feet.
"Scattered?" asked Donald.
"Too many worlds." She looked up.
"Oh, so maybe that's why the King left; to find them," Goofy said.
"That's what I was thinking," Aeris admitted.
Goofy turned to Donald, looking determined. "We've gotta find him, quick!"
"What about the 'key'?"
"Yes... the Keyblade..." said the woman thoughtfully.
"So... this is the key?" Sora asked, looking at the Keyblade.
"Well it don't look like no lock, do it?" Yuffie said.
Sora gave her a weird look.
"The Farceless have great fear of the Keyblade. That's why they'll keep coming for it."
The boy looked at the Keyblade thoughtfully, then looked at Squall. "You just contradicted what you first said. If they're so afraid, why would they keep coming at it?"
"They would kamikaze it in hopes that it would... I don't know, break or something," Squall said, looking annoyed and crossing his arms. "Anyway, Yuffie?"
"Right. The Keyblade chooses its master," said Yuffie. She pointed at Sora. "And it chose you!"
"So tough cookies," Squall added.
"Well crap," Sora said. "I don't even know what happened! It was all like a bad dream... I was in my room, and then... Wait a minute! My island! Riku! Kairi? Where could they be?"
"You know what?" Squall said. "I don't know. And frankly, I really don't care."
Sora looked very hurt by that remark. So he got up and decided to talk to Squall.
"Sooner or later, the Farceless will find you," he said. "So you'd best prepare yourself for the dangers ahead."
"Prepare myself?"
"The Farceless go for your bad humor," Squall said. "So save the bad jokes for after we're done here. So are you ready?"
"You bet your--"
"Yuffie, come on. We'd better join Aeris. She should be there by now with the other visitors."
"Leon!" Yuffie said, standing up and pointing out the window.
A Farceless busted through the window, dancing around.
"Yuffie, go!" said Squall, pointing at the door. Yuffie ran away.
Donald was about to open the door to see what all the commotion was about, as he was suddenly flattened against the wall. He squawked, just as Yuffie ran by and Aeris ran with her.
The door slowly closed, and Donald was peeled off the wall by Goofy.
"Sora, let's go!" said Squall, following the Farceless out the window. Sora stared after him for a moment before opening the door and jumping off the balcony, which wasn't much safer, but it did prevent any nasty glass wounds.
Squall was looking nonchalantly at the Farceless that surrounded him. He glanced back at Sora. "Don't bother with the small fry. Go for the leader!" He ran off.
Sora put a hand out, and was about to say 'wait', just as a Farceless tried to swipe his head off. "Ah!" Deciding that it would be troublesome to fight every one of these things, he decided to run off toward the Third District. He arrived, looking around in fright, shaking.
"Gawrsh, are these the Farceless guys?" Goofy asked, blocking the blows of a Farceless with his shield.
"Move aside, ignoramous!" Donald said, holding up his staff.
Sora looked around, still expecting to be attacked from behind or something. He looked up just as he heard the screams of what sounded like a duck and a large dog, falling from above. As he made to run for it, he was suddenly flattened into the ground by said duck and dog.
Donald looked up, discombobulated, as did Goofy. As they recovered, the image of the Keyblade slowly came into clear vision for them.
"The key!" they both yelled, as Sora was lifting his head up and they pushed it into the ground once more.
"Ow!" came Sora's muffled grunt of pain.
Donald looked down in confusion, noticing Sora for the first time. But then he was distracted by the Farceless that had suddenly decided to attack. He jumped up, along with Goofy, subsequently damaging Sora's spine further.
Sora slowly got up, then jumped as he, too, saw the Farceless. He shifted his eyes, and was about to make a break for it, but Donald grabbed him by the arm.
"And where do you think you're going?" he asked, irate.
"I... uhhh..."
"If you're going to run away, at least stay and fight first!"
"...Okay..."
So they fought and fought and fought, until all the Farceless were gone.
The three sighed, and Donald and Goofy were just about to introduce themselves as several giant pieces of armor fell from the sky.
The three were silent.
"Well that don't look too good," said Goofy, rubbing his chin in thought.
Thus they had to fight the giant Farceless known as Guard Armor... Oh, the author's running out of ways to introduce things. And then they beat it! Because the memory of fighting it is vague to the author and probably anybody else who's played Kingdom Hearts.
A few minutes later...
"So, you guys were looking for me?" Sora asked.
"Yes," Donald and Goofy said at the same time.
"They, too, have been seeking the wielder of the Keyblade," said Squall.
Sora pointed at him. "I have had it up to here with your melodrama."
"And what are you going to do about it?"
"...Shut up!"
"Hey," said Goofy, changing the subject. "Why don't you come with us? We can go to other worlds in our vessel."
Sora contemplated this. "I wonder if I could find Riku and Kairi? Or my mom?" He looked depressed. "I wish I knew where they were..."
"Well you're not gonna find them by just standing around here," said Donald. "So of course you'll find them coming with us!"
"Gee, are ya sure, Donald?" Goofy whispered to Donald.
"I have no idea," Donald admitted quietly. "But if we're gonna find the King, we need his help."
"Ah, I getcha..."
They both smiled slyly at each other, then looked back at Sora.
"Sora, go with them," said Squall. "Especially if you want to find your friends."
"Yeah, I guess," sighed Sora, still looking depressed.
"But no sad faces!" said Donald, looking sternly at the boy. "Our ship--like much of the rest of the worlds we're going to visit--is fueled by smiles. So you have to smile."
"Yeah, ya gotta look funny, like us!" said Goofy, pulling Donald close.
Donald pushed him away, wiping his clothes off. "We had a no-touch policy, mister!"
"Gawrsh, guess I forgot..."
"Like I said, our ship runs on smiles. Not frowns. So get happy or stay here."
"Happy...?" Sora said, then made a horribly scary face that made several moogles nearby die of heart attacks.
Donald and Goofy stared at him, like this: o.o
"I think... I think that was a little too happy," Yuffie whispered to Sora.
"Oh, darn it all!" he said, looking distraught.
Goofy and Donald broke into nervous laughter suddenly, trying to seem as though they found it funny.
"We've gotta get him out of here, the Farceless are still around," Donald said out of the side of his bill to Goofy.
"I reckon you're right, Donald," Goofy muttered back.
"Come on, kid! We're leaving," Donald said hurriedly, running behind Sora and starting to push him off.
"Gawrsh, I think interductions are in order first," said Goofy.
"Yeah, yeah... I'm Donald."
"And I'm Goofy!"
"I'm Sora."
They put their hands in a circle and then jumped into the air like the Power Rangers.
Meanwhile...
"That little squirt was able to beat that Farceless?" said James Woods. "Who'd have thunk?"
"Not I," admitted a shadowy figure who everybody should know, if they've ever seen a Disney movie. (coughJafarcough) "Such is the power of the Keyblade. The child's strength is not his own."
"Why don't we turn him into a Farceless?" asked Ursula. "We can take the easy, villainous way out, like we always do!"
"While I support that idea," Captain Hook said, "His friends are the King's lackeys. Arr, we aren't goin' t'be gettin' close to him anytime soon. Arr. They're all bilge rats by the look of 'em..."
"You're no prize yourself," laughed Oogie Boogie.
"Arr, quiet scum!"
"Enough," said Maleficent, walking into the room. "The Keyblade has chosen him, so there's nothing we can do about it except go after him blindly, not noticing his increasing strength on every world. Now laugh with me."
They were silent.
"I SAID LAUGH!"
They burst into maniacal, evil-villain laughter.
Meanwhile...
"Make sure you're prepared for the journey ahead of you," said Leon, he and the others standing in the First District. "The Farceless are everywhere by now."
"Check out the shops here, they've got some pretty neat stuff," said Yuffie.
"This is from all of us," said Aeris, handing Sora 100 munny.
Sora kind of shifted. "And what's that supposed to buy me? I got more of that from all the Farceless I killed earlier."
"Yeah, well, that's all the money we had," Yuffie lied.
"And this is from Leon," said Aeris, handing Sora an elixir.
"I don't remember contributing tha--" started Leon, but Yuffie covered his mouth with her hand quickly.
Aeris looked back at him with a smile. "Oh, come on! You know you wanted to help him as much as possible."
"Good luck!" Yuffie said, saluting them as Squall pushed her away.
"And we hope you find your friends," Aeris said, nodding.
"Look out for each other," said Squall. "Be sure to keep your spirits up and your bad jokes locked away."
"The Gummi Ship is outside that gate," said Donald, pointing at the World Exit.
"The what?" Sora asked, snickering.
"Shut up, you little twirp. Anyway, here's a power for the road." Sora attained the power to control fire.
"Oooooh!" he said giddily, and was about to set the town on fire when Goofy tapped him on the shoulder. "Huh?"
"And here's a present from me, buddy!" said Goofy, somehow making Sora learn the Dodge Roll ability.
"Okay, are we done? Let's go!" Sora said, pointing onward with the Keyblade.
"Not 'til we're ready, mister man," Donald said, putting his hands on his hips.
"Well, I see big adventures on their way!" said Jiminy to himself, jumping from Goofy's head and settling himself into Sora's hair.
Sora scratched his head.
"What's the matter?" asked Goofy.
"Oh, nothing... I just thought I felt something crawling around in my hair..."
"You don't have lice, do you?" Donald asked.
"Nah, I'm sure I don't!"
"It's always best to check," Goofy said.
"Eh, that would just slow us down," Donald said. "Are you ready, Sora?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Gawrsh, are you sure we shouldn't check out the sho--"
"Shut up, Goofy," Donald said, grabbing both of them by the arm and dragging them out the World Exit.
TO BE CONTINUED!