Chapter twenty-three: That night at the taijiya village

She looked at her arms and smiled; they were full of wild flowers. No doubt the graves would look beautiful with all those colorful bouquets.

Sango felt a strange mix of sensations when she spotted the hill where her village rested; as always, there was the unavoidable, piercing melancholy when her childhood memories flooded her, and also the immense sadness when she recalled that each one of those childhood friends and family were dead now. There was as well the void for their departure, and more recently, some sense of fulfillment for she knew they had been avenged and that they might now rest in peace.

However, that searing rage that had took over her after Naraku's deceit and the massacre of her people had almost vanished. She had felt how, little by little, her soul was more at peace and that it hurt less to laugh. Also, year after year, it was easier to return to this place. It wasn't that painful anymore.

At least it was so until Sango and Inuyasha approached the gates of the abandoned taijiya village.

"But—What does it--? I don't—" Sango stopped, her eyes rounded and her mouth open.

"What's wrong?" Inuyasha's hand went to his handle, alert. He didn't understand what had upset Sango, but the hell he would be caught off guard.

"The gates… they're down!" she cried, anguished, then she ran ahead, but Inuyasha caught her by the arm.

"Wait, Sango! What about that? They've been down for a long time!"

"No! They haven't! Shippo and I rebuilt them last year! Someone's been here! Oy! Let me go, Inuyasha!"

Sango freed from his gasp and sprang to the village. Inuyasha went after her. However, he couldn't complain about her lack of caution, for he, as well as Sango, froze at the view that greeted them.

"Wha--?" he muttered

The bouquets fell to the ground.

Sango felt rooted to the ground, her limbs went cold and she felt as if she couldn't breath, as if her lungs weren't able to drag enough air to keep her alive. Her head spun.

"Who… who could have done this?" Inuyasha asked, looking around in bewilderment. He walked into the village and knelt down in front of one of the several mounds there. He picked up something rounded and white from the ground and dusted the mud and dirt away from its surface. It was a human skull.

Sango found she wasn't able to speak. She just looked around and saw with horror how bones and funeral offerings laid scattered all around the village. The tombs of her friends and family were open like wounds on the ground and even some skulls were hanging from ropes over the remaining houses. Arrows traversed them, as if someone had used them as shooting targets.

Her knees buckled. The rage was back, and before, it had made her get up and fight, but this time, the pain was stronger, and it bent her, it defeated her. She surrendered.

Sango fell to the ground with her eyes astray and a blank expression upon her features, a hand covering her mouth, stopping a silent scream, the other hand's fingers dug into the ground. Inuyasha went to her.

"Sango? Sango!" he said, but she seemed to be in some kind of trance. Only after he shook her by the shoulders she seemed to come out of it. She blinked a couple of times, like if she didn't understand exactly where she was.

"Are you alright?" he asked, and she looked at him as if she had never seen him in her entire life or as if surprised to find him there.

"Uh?"

"Are you okay?" he asked again. Sango took her hands to her hair and she pulled it, closing her eyes in a pained expression, but then she took several deep breaths and stood up, nodding absently.

"I… Yes, but the tombs… just look at them… How did it--? We… we have to bury them again, Inuyasha." She took Hiraikotsu from her back and with no more words, buried the tip of her weapon into the soil and started digging. Inuyasha looked at her with a pained expression, but followed her without a word.

"One would think I've suffered enough," she said to no one. That lost look hadn't abandoned her since they found out what had happened.

Inuyasha put a basin full of water in front of her. When Sango didn't do any attempt to move, he took her right hand and submerged it into the water, then started to clean her fingers from all the mud stuck between them. As if their task hadn't been lamentable enough, it just had to start raining.

"I must have been some kind of war lord in the past, or done something really awful to deserve all of what's happened to me," she continued her monologue, her eyes fixed somewhere in the shadowed corners of the house. He just listened…at least she was talking.

Inuyasha removed her hand and dried it with a drape, then he started washing the other one. He had discovered several utensils and clothes inside the huts still standing, some old and tattered, some new. It seemed that, effectively, someone had been living there for the past year, but apparently he, or they, hadn't returned in a long time. He hoped they would not return at all, or maybe they should, so he could teach them.

"At least I'm glad Kirara went off hunting before we got here… I wouldn't have wanted her to see what happened…"

Another long silence.

"But it was silly, it was logical this could happen, this is a desolated fortress, the perfect place for thieves and scum to come and hide… I should have guarded the village better, I should have set traps and I don't know why I didn't… I was so stupid, I—"

"Enough."

He lifted her face by the chin and looked at her. He was worried, she hadn't cried or screamed, or anything, she just kept in that hypnotic state… He had to do something to bring her out of it.

"This is not your fault and I know that you know it, deep inside of you. I know you feel responsible for these graves, but you haven't failed them. You pray for them and you come and visit, and you've accomplished your role one more time by re-burying them, so cut the crap. It is not your fault," he finished and then gave her a bowl of rice that he had made himself. Sango had forced him to learn, telling that if she was going to fight youkai then it wasn't fair for her to be the only one to cook.

"I… but why's this all happening to me?" She looked at him as if he could provide the answer.

Inuyasha sat in front of her with his own bowl of food.

"Come on! Don't think the whole universe is against you! Lots of people suffer during their whole lives, as much as you or even more!"

Sango looked at him, resentful.

"You could be a little more understanding. You are being mean to me," she said with a low voice and a slight pout.

He looked at her as if to retort, but gave a deep breath instead. "I don't want you to be like this any more. You had been okay during the journey and… I want you to be fine again. I'm sorry if I'm rude but you know I'm not exactly a sensitive guy."

Well, that wasn't completely true; he knew she'd react to his bad manners.

Sango couldn't stop a feeble smile. "Thanks… then, for trying to cheer me up."

"S'nuthin'…"

Outside, rain was falling with renovate strength while an occasional thunder completed the symphony of drops hitting the roof persistently.

"Come on, eat something," he said after a while, even though his own dish remained almost full. It seemed it was impossible to eat after performing the sad task of guessing which skull belonged to which skeleton and then having to bury them, and sadly, they had to end up digging a communal grave for all of them. The bones were so scattered that it was impossible to do otherwise. At least he was glad they finished before sunset.

Sango looked at the bowl and tilted her head. Strangely, she recognized the pattern on the pottery. She looked up and for the first time, noticed that Inuyasha had chosen to pass the night in the house that she and her family had inhabited so long ago. How hadn't she noticed?

There was the corner where she once kept her futon. She looked outside and her eyes found the porch where she and her brother used to sit and talk for long hours, and they were sitting right where father liked to play Go with her.

Sango couldn't take it anymore, the images of her father and brother's despoiled bodies came back to her and the horror of it all finally stuck her. She left her bowl fall and it shattered in dozens of pieces, then, the tears flowed, and the cries, and the desperation she had shut inside.

Inuyasha went to her side and held her, just as he had done when Shippo left, and again stroked her hair tenderly. How he wished he could spare her from all that pain.

"Sh, s'alright, it's over," he whispered in her ear as her sobs drowned against his chest. After several minutes, Sango raised her head and found him looking at her with warm and caring eyes.

Inuyasha cupped her face and cleaned her tears with his thumbs, kissing her forehead. She was so close…

"S'alright…" he whispered again.

At his touch, Sango closed her eyes and tilted her head a little up whilst her left arm surrounded his torso; her touch light and tremulous, her tears still falling.

He couldn't help it -he wasn't sure he wanted to- and kissed her wet cheek. She, in return, pressed her lips against his jaw where she, as well, left a soft kiss. His hand caressed her nape slowly and played with the baby hair nested there, rolling it up around his index finger.

"S'ok… Sango-chan…"

Her other hand traveled up his arm and grasped his shoulder, as if not wanting him to stop, then she opened her eyes despite the reluctance of her eyelids and fixed her gaze with his.

"Inu… yasha…" she sighed his name, stretching her neck up, her lips now inches from his.

Her hot breath and her body pressed against him took away all trace of consciousness in him and finally, closing his eyes, he lowered his head.

When their lips met at first, he could swear something electrifying passed between them, like a shot from the thunder brothers, only more, much more pleasant, and she tasted so sweet and salty… it was like no kiss he'd ever felt.

Sango felt his hand caressing her nape more fervently and his other arm encircling her waist, bringing her closer to him. He nibbled softly her lower lip first, then the upper one and she responded to it, imitating his actions with eagerness. She had never experienced anything like that and it was like she couldn't get enough. She opened her mouth to him.

Inuyasha brushed her hair away so he could keep touching more of that soft, porcelain neck, feeling bolts passing through him when he drew a moan out of her. He could think of nothing but the sensations running through his body and the sound of his own heart in his ears.

He opened his eyes and found hers, colored in a dark shade of brown. He brought his caresses on her neck to a halt and looked at her, unsure, questioning. Sango read that question in his orbs and nodded her consent, biting her lip in anticipation.

Slowly, Inuyasha lowered her to the tatami, kissing her again and Sango wouldn't let go of his back, dragging him along with her. He now started kissing the line of her jaw, making her arch her back, being her turn now to make him moan… It felt so incredible, and it kept her mind out of everything… nothing existed, there was no pain, just them.

But something yanked at the back of her mind.

"Inuyasha…" she spoke, breathless.

He stopped his actions and looked at her, a twinkle of fear in his eyes. Had he screwed things up? What was he doing? He tried to move away, but she kept firm her embrace on his back.

"Yeah?" he asked in the smallest voice he had ever muttered.

"What about Kagome? What if she does come back?" she said, lowering her eyes.

He knew it now, he had wanted to do this for so long.

"I don't think it would make any difference, Sango…"

Inuyasha took her lips with his again.

Outside, the rain became a storm, but it came and went, completely unnoticed by the couple inside the house, making love for the first time.

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