(Note: I am really really really really sorry for the late update. Since school started I have had homework every night for the last week. Yes I like complaining and blaming my absence from the Internet on other things and people.)

Sora picked some sea weed out of his hair. "Eeeew, this is more gross than the big whale. Except without the spit. And the intestines. And the parasite. And Riku."

"I thought you and Riku were friends?" Donald asked.

"Well yeah. But I'm not sure he's doing the right thing anymore..."

"A-hyuck," Goofy said from the pilot's seat. "We're gonna land soon, fellas."

"So you've lowered him to the level of the innards of a whale?"

"Umm..." Sora thought about it, then smiled. "Yes. Yes I have."

Donald shook his head. Then he said, "Did you notice that the Monstro level was a LOT like that one level in that one RPG for the N64?"

"Uhh, which one? Was it a good one?"

"It would be the best game ever... if it was a Disney-licensed product."

"...Huh." Sora looked to his left, where there was a convenient window that was looking out at the world they were set to land on. "Oh hey, look! The level's starting."

Several minutes later...

Halloween Town

Goofy looked at his slightly werewolf-themed Halloween Town costume. "Gawrsh, this place is kinda spooky... I'll bet the people here are scary-lookin', too..."

"Pfft. This is just a Tim Burton kind of scary," Sora scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Which isn't all that scary but somewhat creepy at the same time." He was dressed in some tacky outfit with a jack-o-lantern cardboard cut-out over his right eye.

Donald ignored him. He was dressed as a mummy. A bodiless mummy. But he had a head. "Don't worry, Goofy. We look pretty spooky too, so if anybody scares us... we'll scare 'em right back!"

"Are you really paid to say stuff like that?" Sora asked, crossing his arms and giving Donald a skeptic look.

The duck sighed. "...yes. We are." He looked up at Sora. "Sad, isn't it?"

"Uhh, what were we talking about?"

"..."

Some time later...

The three walked into the main square of the town, where there were several ghosts who were as motionless as if someone from a certain Susan Cooper book series had frozen them in place. Since none of them were moving, Sora took no notice of them and looked the other way. Why? Because his attention span wouldn't allow him to look at the ghosts for more than two seconds. Not even that.

"And now, allow me to introduce the Master of Terror, the King of Nightmares--Jack Skellington!" the portly little Mayor said through his little bull-horn thing.

A bright green light errupted from the well in the middle of the square, and out rose Jack Skellington, tall, inaccurately proportioned, and in a very mummy-ish pose.

The mayor scuttled up to him. "Bravo, Jack! Bravo! Those ghosts will be a big hit at this year's Halloween!" he said enthusiastically. Usually one wouldn't expect that from someone who lived where it is perpetually Halloween, but this is Tim Burton we're talking about. And he's weird. Kinda like the author, but a little bit weirder than THAT.

"Thank you," Jack chuckled, stepping out of the well and shaking his bone-tight pants of water. "But their movement still needs some work. I want to scare the pants off of people, kind of like the Resident Evil potato-sack guy." He jerked his thumb in the direction of the aforementioned man, who revved up his chainsaw. "I'm going to consult the doctor." With that, he ambled up the steps of a nearby house and disappeared into the... house.

The mayor, left to himself, said, "Then I'll take care of the decorations."

Deciding that the mayor would be boring to follow, Sora ran after Jack.

At the Hall of Justice...

Jack's face contorted in confusion. Even though it's just a skull. "I don't understand," he sighed in exasperation. "Maybe... maybe the guidance system was damaged in the explosion."

"I told you, microwaves exploding do NOT disrupt the mechanical structures of this laboratory!" Dr. Finklestein said, shaking a tiny fist at Jack. They were standing/sitting by a table with a ghost strapped to it. Behind him, the television and his home-made dentistry tools had fused together into some freak television monster.

"Oh, I've got it!" the skeleton said, snapping his fingers in enlightenment. "The Farceless need FARCE!"

"Any lesser organism could've told you that," grumbled the doctor.

Jack either did not hear or chose to ignore that comment. I'm gonna go with him ignoring it. "Doctor, do you think we could add farce to that device?"

"Certainly. Farce isn't all that complicated," he said. "Let's get to work."

"To make farce, take a container with a lock..." Jack read from a big cook book entitled 'Farce in the Kitchen'. He grabbed a heart-shaped object with a lock. "Uhh, this doesn't look right..."

"Nonsense!" snapped Dr. Finklestein. He snatched it away from Jack. "We need the key to this thing, first, though..." He looked to his left, where Sora and the Pussycats had just entered the building. "Ah. How convenient for us."

"You're really gonna unlock it for them?" Donald asked.

"And when did I say something to make you think that I would?" the boy inquired. "Oh and, besides... I want to see the Farceless dance. Don't you?"

"...No."

Sora shrugged and tried to lock the heart, but alas... it didn't work.

"My! That was lame. Uh, and you are?"

"Sora."

"Despite your lameness, I'd like you to be part of this year's Halloween Festival, Sora. I think your hair will scare everybody pretty well."

Sora looked hurt. "My hair isn't that bad..." He turned to Donald and Goofy. "Is it?"

"Well, uh, I'm not sure you want us to answer that one."

The boy looked at his compadrés for about a minute, expressionless, then turned to Jack. "So what's this Farceless doing here?" he asked as if no comments about his hair had been made.

"Oh, well the Farceless just recently came to our town," Jack said as if it were no big deal. "What's frustrating is that I can't get them to dance with me! So the doctor and I are trying to improve the guidance system. Dr. Finklestein's not that much of a genius, but there's no one better for this kind of job."

"Darn straight!" the doctor added from across the room.

"Okay, Doctor," Jack said to Dr. Finklestein, "let's continue. The ingredients for farce: Laughter, a gut, jokes, props, and a good outlook on life. That insult comic stuff is crap. Anyway, mix them all together, and we have humor! Not farce. For farce we'd REALLY need some innuendo and somebody cheating on their wife. And maybe a Benny Hill running sequence." He stopped himself before he would get more off-subject, and pointed dramatically at the doctor. "All right, Doctor! THROW THE SWITCH!"

And thrown the switch was. And then the machine they were constructing humor in exploded. Oh dear.

"My life's work!" Dr. Finklestein lamented.

"It failed? Aww, come on!" Jack cried in frustration.

Calming himself down, Finklestein suggested, "Maybe we're missing some ingredients. Let's try adding memory."

"Memory?"

"Well, yes. I mean... you can't remember a joke if you don't have the memory of it, Jack." The doctor opened his head and scratched his brain. Yeah. Like in the movie, biznatch. "Sally!" he called up the stairs. "Sally! Good-for-nothing girl... Don't know why I ever bothered assembling dead body parts and bringing her to life!" He closed his head. "Sally's got the memory we need. See if you can track her down."

"Gosh, one more good deed and I'll earn my Good Samaritan badge!" Sora said like an eager-beaver.

"Quiet, child! Now go! Go fulfill my request! Off with you!"

Jack stood in front of Sora. "Sora, would you mind coming along?" he asked, ignoring Dr. Finklestein.

"Sure, whatever."

Outside...

"Jack! Jaaa-AAAACK! We have a major crisis!" the mayor called frantically, flailing his arms around like a knave. "The Farceless are completely out of control! We can't stop them!"

"I could just use my large, blunt weapon to beat them into submission," Sora said reasonably.

"They're unstoppable!"

"Hmm," Jack hmm'd, ignoring Sora as well and looking contemplative. "Maybe our experiment triggered something. Don't worry, Mayor, once we figure out how to kill the Farceless, everyone will have nothing to fear."

"Uhh, helloo! I'm still backing my beating-them-with-a-blunt-object suggestion!" the boy said, louder.

"I wonder... how do you beat things without farce?"

"With a Keyblade, genius!"

Jack sighed and shrugged. "Well, I guess there's only one thing to do." He got a major close-up on his face and narrowed the sockets where his eyes would be. You know. If he wasn't a skeleton. Then he got a full-body shot, and he was in a yellow-and-black spandex suit with a katana in his hand. "And that's to kill them!"

"But you just said--"

"Forget what I said, Sora! Stay back!" He did some weird meditation thing then struck one Farceless in its five pressure points. It kind of gave him a weird look. Jack looked down, defeated. "Oh, I guess not..."

"Yeah, that's why I suggested beating the things with a blunt object and not 'we should use that crazy Quentin Tarantino move to kill them'," Sora said smugly.

Then they all shrugged and continued on to the graveyard. And some Farceless popped up and were thusly killed viciously by our heroing party. Kind of like Inu Yasha but without the crappy story and the yelling of techniques. Oh yeah, just TELL your enemy you're about to attack them! THAT'S THE SMART THING TO DO. (biting sarcasm)

So then Jack's dog Zero appeared and barked happily.

"Zero!" Jack said, smiling. "Have you seen Sally anywhere?"

Zero barked and led them to where Sally was standing in some corner of the graveyard.

"Is something wrong, Jack?" she asked as if they hadn't been looking for her.

"No, everything's going great," Jack lied. "We're gonna blow the socks off of everyone with this year's Halloween Festival, because we have the Lord of Bad Hair."

"Hey!"

Ignoring Sora, Jack continued: "We just need your memory to help fuel the Farceless."

"Oh, you mean this?" Sally asked, holding up a Forget-Me-Not.

Sora, Donald, Goofy, and the author winced.

"That's gotta be the worst pun ever," Sora commented.

"No wonder the Farceless came here..." Donald sighed.

"Gawrsh. Just... just gawrsh," Goofy said, nearly speechless.

"Jack," Sally said, ignoring them, "I've got a bad feeling about this. Why don't you try something else? There's still time..."

Jack spread his arms wide. "Nothing could beat what I've got planned! Once we give the Farceless farce, they'll dance just as I envision it. Trust me, Sally, you're going to LOVE it!"

Then as Jack rambled on, he walked with the rest of our motley crew out of the graveyard.

A nearby coffin's lid started to rattle, and after a moment it completely popped off to reveal the most annoying creatures in the history of ever emerging from it.

"Lock!"

"Shock!"

"Barrel!"

They came together and cackled annoyingly, and the little devil one put a hand to his ear.

"Did you hear that?" he asked gayly. I mean, homosexually gay, not happy gay. But if you're one of the raving thirteen-year-old girls who infest this website like so many blood-sucking, crap-eating parasitic worms, then you're probably squealing at the word 'gay' anyway. Gosh.

"Yeah, I sure did!" said a different one. Maybe the skeleton one. "Farce! What should we do?"

"Gosh, you really are stupid!" said the witch, being the perfect case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. "Isn't it obvious?"

"...No."

"Tell Oogie Boogie!" Barrel and Shock told him in unison.

I really hate these guys. Let's go see what Sora's doing.

Meanwhile...

Dr. Finklestein looked over the Forget-Me-Not skeptically. "Yes... This is it. Now, just one more ingredient. We need 'surprise' to complete farce. Because some jokes need that unexpected twist. The mayor should know where it is."

"The MAYOR?" Sora gasped.

"...Yes."

"O-oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Mean... NOOOOOOOOOO!

Oogie Boogie rubbed his stubs together and giggled in a high-pitched voice. "Farce? That bonehead Jack is really making farce? I'll be... ugh gosh... JIGGERED. There, I said it. That works for me! Ohh, when I get my hands on that... Well." He stared at the stubs. "I've got no hands. Anyway, I'm still gonna nab that farce and control the Farceless. Mweeheeheeheeheehee. ...Hee."

Un-meanwhile (yay)...

"Ghosts rise from those tombstones," the mayor told them, pointing at said tombstones with his bull-horn thing. "Check the tombs in the order the ghosts appear. If you get it wrong, you're in for a surprise!"

At this, Sora grew angry. "Okay, hold up. I've seen The Nightmare Before Christmas. I know it didn't kick ass like The Lion King, or Aladdin, but at least it tried. It tried like Susan Cooper tried with that one book series that they compare to the Lord of the Rings. Except maybe it didn't try that hard... But this dialogue enrages me. Never did I think a Tim Burton character would dress up like a Quinton Tewhateverino character. Nor did I think you were this stupid. Oblivious and naïve to the outside world, yes, but stupid? No. You were a smart movie. A smart, smart, creepy movie that gave me nightmares."

While he was ranting, Donald, Goofy, and Jack had already solved the puzzle.

"Splendid!" the mayor said. Apparently, they'd all ignored Sora. "Now go look at the pumpkin."

So they did, and they found the Jack-in-the-Box. Ho hum, so what if I've nothing funny to say right now? Ah well...

Some time later...

"There you go," said Dr. Finklestein, holding up the heart-shaped container of the farce. "This time it's sure to work."

Suddenly, the little fat skeleton kid--BARREL or whatever his stupid name is--jumped up from behind the lab table and in a gutteral voice, screamed, "OOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA!"

"AAAAAAAH!" screamed everyone else.

And then Barrel and his stupid little friends Lock and Shock stole the farce container and ran off with it. Sora and his groupies understandably ran after them because if I were them I wouldn't let those little bastards get away with something like that, too. I mean, geezums! I should hope you wouldn't be like a stupid Nightmare Before Christmas fangirl and let them get away with it just because you like them! More importantly, why would you like them?

"Aw! During the author's umpteenth long-winded rant, we lost 'em!" Sora whined.

Jack put his boney fingers to his nonexistant lips and whistled for his dog. "Zero! After them!" The ghostly sheet/dog barked and followed after the hooligans. Zero led them straight to the Graveyard.

Then they followed the stupid trio's possessed bathtub all the way to Oogie's Manor, where Jack snapped his fingers in realization. "I knew it! I knew Oogie Boogie was behind this!"

"He sounds fun," nobody in particular said, then promptly left the scene.

Ignoring him, they all entered Oogie's Manor and fought-fought-fought and kill-kill-killed their way up to the Evil Playroom, where they confronted nobody's favorite trio of children of the damned.

After beating the living snot out of them, Shock got on his knees and grovelled. "W-we were just following orders!" he whimpered pathetically. "Oogie Boogie told us about the farce... It was all Barrel's fault!" He pointed to a now-shocked Barrel, who jumped and kinda flailed around a little bit. "It was his idea to tell Oogie Boogie about the farce!"

"Yeah, that's right!" Lock shrieked.

Barrel stuttered before replying with a meek, "But you guys s-said..."

"You should be ashamed!" Shock snapped at the flustered child.

"Ugh, oh my God, shut UP!" Sora yelled over their bickering, nearly pulling his hair out. "You're so annoying!" He started beating a nearby lever in order to vent, and after it was properly beaten, it opened a door to reveal the aptly named Torture Chamber. "...Oh, hey..."

"Oogie Boogie!" Jack said in a no-nonsense way, pointing at Oogie Boogie and looking very angry. "Give me back that farce!"

"You want it?" the potato sack asked, chuckling. "Then come on over here and pry it from my cold, dead stubs, suckers!" He threw the heart-shaped container into the air and as it came back down, he opened his mouth to laugh and accidentally swallowed it. "Oh, sweet mother of--" He gagged a bit, but then thought about things. I don't know, I'm no mind reader. "Now... let's see if we can get their attention... Farceless, ASSEMBLE!" He pulled out a conch shell and blew into it, which subsequently summoned two Farceless from thin air. "This is it? Tch. Nobody disrespects Oogie Boogie. NOBODY!"

Without saying anything (because anything would've been stupid anyway), Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Jack (somehow doing a whole big 'four player' party... like all Final Fantasy's BEFORE Seven da-hurr) beat the sack off of Oogie Boogie's bugs. Eeeewies.

Some time later...

"So then we fought our way back down to the bottom of the stairwell, only to be confronted by the HOUSE itself!" Sora told Sally and Dr. Finklestein.

"GASP!" they gasped in unison.

"However did you beat it?" Sally asked, looking shocked.

"Sad story, really," Jack sighed, adjusting his jumpsuit. What? You didn't think he got RID of that, did you? Gosh. "You see, he got that house from a newbie realter named like, Necrid or something, and little did he know that from all the scary lightning and rain, his foundation was ruined and his house suffered a lot of water damage. So in the end, he kind of caved in on himself and we really didn't have to do anything."

"Except beat a bunch of big, purple zits that were growing all over him," Sora reminded him.

"Oh yeah, that. That was disgusting, even for a Halloween-based world," Jack said, shaking his head.

"And then I sealed the Keyhole," the boy ended the story, looking very, very proud of himself.

"Well, despite the obvious deus ex machina," Dr. Finklestein said, "how did the farce work out?"

"It went 'plpth'."

"Oh. Darn."

"I'm so sorry, Sally," Jack said. He looked very apologetic. "Why didn't I listen to you?"

"Don't worry, Jack," Sally told him like the pacifist she is. She put her hands in Jack's. "We'll come up with another plan for Halloween... and next time, we'll do it together."

"Awwwww," cooed the audience. You can't tell me that didn't make you say that.

Jack then turned to Sora. "I guess we have no choice. We'll have to cancel the Farceless Halloween festival for now... Here, I want you to have this." He gave Sora a key chain for the Keyblade... huh? And then said, "Visit us any time, Sora. Next year's Halloween will be the scariest yet!"

Dr. Finklestein, meanwhile, was mumbling to himself to the side. Well! It's not like YOU care. And I aim to please, so...

TO BE CONTINUED!