"Tell me what happened," Squall said once they were in the small house where there was only one bed and they had to take turns sleeping. That's my guess, anyway.
And so Sora started his tale of adventure and such, and about ten hours later he was done weaving his thread.
"So the bad humor is flowing out of the Keyhole," Squall said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. He stopped once he realized he was not like Cid and didn't have any hint of a beard. I really need to stop shaving.
"No wonder there are more and more Farceless everywhere," Aeris said, looking really really worried. "The only way to stop them is--"
"To seal the Keyhole?" Sora guessed.
"Maybe," Squall answered vaguely. "But no one knows what will happen once it's sealed. But I assume that, once it's sealed, the Farceless will cease to come to our worlds and we will live in peace once more."
"Well, we can't just stay here," Sora said, putting his hands on his hips like Riku. "We have to do something. I have a friend who is a rival who is gay who wants to hold my hand back there! And uhh... I guess I need to save him."
"That's right. You have one more friend to worry about, don't you? Riku's Keyblade must've been born from the princesses' farce--just like that Keyhole you saw." He looked over at Kairi. "Of course, without Kairi's farce, it remained incomplete. Once that Keyblade was destroyed, all of the princesses' farce should've been freed. Don't worry, Sora; if anyone can save your friend, it's you." He looked up thoughtfully. Or... me. Me! ME. Yes. Like I saved Rinoa in... wait, what happened to Rinoa, again? Oh yeah the whole world disappearing thing. I wonder where she is now...?
Meanwhile...
Rinoa sighed as Yuna, Rikku, and Paine struck a Charlie's Angels-type pose, then quickly looked over at her.
"Oh, come on, Rinoa!" Rikku whined. "We let you join our club!"
"Yeah, well... Usually I'm all up for this kind of thing, but I don't think I can deal with this..." She looked down at her skimpy new clothes. "Especially since you guys dress so... You know. You don't dress at all."
"But Rinoa..." Rikku and Yuna wailed together. Paine sighed and rolled her eyes at the cousins, then crossed her arms. "We're YuRiRiPa now, and we gave up our whole 'three-syllable-rhythm' thing just for YOU!" Yes they said that in perfect unison, which was kind of creepy.
"Look, I was the leader of a resistance faction once, but this whole sphere hunter thing just isn't working out," Rinoa said as if she were a girlfriend breaking up with her boyfriend who she knew couldn't take it and would eventually either kill himself or stalk her because the grief at losing her drove him mad since he was about to propose to her. "And see, if I need any help... I'll call you guys." She made the little 'call me' thing with her hand, then walked off.
"Aww, maaaan!" sighed Rikku, snapping her fingers in disappointment.
Un-meanwhile...
Ah well, I'm sure she's fine.
Sora had wandered off to the First District, where he just so happened to meet Cid. "Uncle Cid, I need to go back to Hollow Bastion!"
"Mmm... 'Fraid I can't let you do that, kiddo," Cid said.
"Say WHAAAT?"
"The Farceless are multiplying by the second. They'd eat your ship right up! But... there is a way. You could go around them instead of through them, with a new Gummi Block."
"But... uhh... where do I get this Gummi Block?"
"It's in the Secret Waterway. Nine years ago I stored it in there should the need to use it ever arise. Not that I thought it would, you know, but then you came along and... Well, I've been thinking. Even with all your flaws, Sora, you're some kinda wonderful. Killin' Farceless, taking names... I wish I had been like you when I was a kid."
"Uhh, no you don't," Donald said.
"Yeah, for once I agree with Donald. I'm a complete idiot. There's no way anybody would take you seriously and nobody would believe you when you killed something or someone, anyway." Sora shrugged. "Ah well!" Then he skipped off to the Secret Waterway.
Some time later...
After Sora had checked the sun mural at the back of the Secret Waterway and gotten the Gummi, he decided to talk to Kairi who just so happened to be in there.
"Come on, Kairi. Let's go back and join the others. We should rest up," he said.
"Okay."
And as Goofy and Donald walked on, Kairi looked at the mural. "The light at the end of the tunnel...aka DEATH."
"Oh, your grandma's story, right?" Sora guessed.
Kairi gave him a confused look. "That's right. How'd you know?"
"Oh, just a crazy Kairi-Hallucination, that's all."
"...Ah. Well, umm..."
"You know what's funny?" Sora said, trying to change the subject. "I looked everywhere for you. But you were with me the whole time... Finally, we're together, Kairi."
"Sora..."
"Kairi..."
"Sora..."
"Kairi..."
"GASP! Riku!"
"Kai--WHAT?"
"Sora, you have to go back and save Riku! He's our friend, too," she said.
"What? No! Not after all he's put me through, being dodgey and vague and joining the forces of evil and trying to kill me!" He thought about this. "In fact, he DID kill me, right before you woke up!"
"But then, how are you here now?"
"Oh, a little friend helped me..." He chuckled warmly, then stopped and looked completely indifferent. "Anyway."
"Well, if you do go back--which you're going to--do you think it'll ever be the same between us again? Riku... lost his..."
"Yeah yeah, whatever. I lost my farce too, but you saved me, remember?"
"Of course! It was only like... twenty minutes ago," Kairi said, checking her watch she didn't know she had until just now.
"Well anyway. I was lost in bad humor, which was really really dark for some reason. As I stumbled through the darkness, I was really hungry and I started forgetting things--my friends, Mom, who I was... The darkness almost swallowed me and I had the strangest urge to make a yo mama joke in an Arkansas accent. But then I heard your voice..." He smiled. "You brought me back."
"I didn't want to be like your Disney friends, Sora. I didn't want to forget about you... I...I couldn't."
Sora snapped his fingers in realization. "That's it! Our farce is connected. And the light from our farce broke through the darkness. I saw that light. I think that's what saved me, but I could be wrong. No matter how deep the darkness, a light shines within... I guess it's more than just a fairy tale."
"Well then, let's go!" Kairi said with an eager smile.
"Nnnope, you can't go."
Her face fell. "B-but... why not?"
"Because it's way too dangerous."
"Come on, Sora! We made it this far by sticking together. You can't go alone."
"Kairi, even if we're apart, we're not alone anymore. Right?"
"...I can't help?" Kairi asked sheepishly.
"You'd kind of be in my way."
"Pfft. What EVER."
"No seriously. You're not too coordinated."
"I... guess you're right. Okay, you win." She grabbed his hand, and when she took her hand away, Sora looked down at the star-shaped charm that also had Sora's hair-do and face. "Take this. It's my lucky charm." She put her fists on her hips. "Be sure to bring it back to me."
"Don't worry," Sora said, pocketing it. "I will."
"Promise?" she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowed.
"Promise."
"Don't ever forget... no matter where you go, I'm always with you."
Sora got the Oathkeeper Keychain and left, going back to the First District to talk to Cid.
Some time later...
"Well, I installed the new Gummi," Cid said, wiping his forhead with a dirty rag. "You can leave as you see fit. But man, I wish you didn't have to go and face this danger, kid."
"Don't worry, Uncle Cid! I'll be fine," Sora reassured him, then they boarded the Gummi Ship and went on a trip in his favorite rocket ship, soaring through the sky.
Some time later...
"Where's Belle?" Sora asked, standing in the Rising Falls area with Beast.
"She's still inside the castle, but not against her will. I think she stayed for a reason..." He looked forlornly at the castle. "And the other princesses are inside, as well."
"I wonder why?" Donald asked nobody in particular.
"How am I supposed to know?" said nobody in particular petulantly as he stomped off and disappeared to go hang out with the Three Musketeers. I mean really. I would want to, too.
"Let's go ask them," Sora said, which was the obvious thing to do.
And so, they set off to the Library of Hollow Bastion, where quite a lot of stuff went on a while ago that I was too lazy to write about. Yeah, sorry about that.
And when they reached the Library of Hollow Bastion, Beast and Belle reunited with that one song playing in the background and flower petals falling around them and there was a generally happy mood in that library.
After all that was over, Belle turned to Sora. "You've come to seal the Keyhole, right? Please be very careful. The Dark is rising."
Sora looked angry. "Oh, oh yeah. Great time to reference that."
Belle raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing," Sora answered evasively, crossing his arms and looking away.
"...Anyway... We've been holding the bad humor back, but we can't hold out much longer. You know. Probably if you hadn't taken the last princess of farce, we could."
"We'll take care of it!" Sora said in a very bipolar way.
Some time later...
"We've been waiting for you, Keyblade master," Cinderella said, looking down at Sora.
How tall is Sora, anyway? Like... 4'? He must be short if EVERYONE but Kairi, Donald, Jiminy, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, and Chip and Dale are the only ones shorter than him. Everyone else is either his height or they basically TOWER over him. I mean... he hardly comes to Squall's waist.
"Where's Ansem?" Sora asked, completely ignoring that paragraph.
"He's gone."
"And when the Keyhole appeared," Aurora said, "bad humor poured out of it in the form of purple-and-black blobs of some gelatinous substance. It was all very gross. It swallowed Ansem, and he disappeared."
"Though Ansem is gone, the flood of bad humor hasn't stopped," Cinderella said. "We're working together to hold it back."
"I cannot forget the look on his face," Aurora said with a slight worried look. "As the bad humor engulfed him, he was smiling. And then he said 'yo mama' and that was it. He disappeared into the bad humor."
Then he talked to Jasmine, Alice, and Snow White.
"Sora, please hurry," Jasmine said, obviously having forgiven Sora for letting her be kidnapped before. "Bad humor is pouring from the Keyhole."
"It's all we can do just to hold back the immaturity," Alice said.
"I don't know how long we can even manage that," said Snow White.
"Heeeey, wait a minute... How come YOU'RE a princess?" Sora asked Alice.
"Because it would've been harder for Ariel to stand here telling you how much bad humor is spilling out of the Keyhole," Alice explained.
"Yeah, you and everyone else has been telling me that for the past hour," Sora grumbled. Then he seemed to brighten up considerably. "All right! May as well get this done with."
"We're counting on you, Keyblade master," Snow White said dramatically. "In the meantime, we'll see what we can do."
Then Sora, Donald, and Goofy ran off to the Dark Depths.
"Sure is dark in these depths," Sora commented. "It could use some light." He cast a Fire spell, but it went out almost immediately because it seemed something was obstructing its path. "Oh, I must be pointing it at a wall or something."
Then the Behemoth parodied Jurassic Park and its eye opened. It was big and yellow and bloodshot.
"Oh. I guess not."
Then they engaged in mortal combat and when that was over with, they saw a big Keyhole.
"Gawrsh, now let's go an' seal that big Keyhole!" Goofy stated.
Fade out...
"Sora, you did it," said Squall.
They were all standing in the Grand Hall area.
"Waaaaaaaiiiit," Sora said, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What are you guys doin' here?"
"We came in Cid's ship," Yuffie said.
"That's not telling me why you guys are here."
"This is our childhood home," Aeris gave him a straight answer. "We wanted to see it again."
"It's in worse shape than I thought it would be," Squall commented as a piece of pipe fell in the background. "It used to be so peaceful..."
"Don't worry," Aeris said reassuringly. "If we--meaning you, Sora--defeat Ansem, then everything should be restored, including your island, Sora."
"Really?" asked Sora hopefully.
Aeris shrugged. "Maybe."
"But, it also means good-bye," Yuffie said forlornly and they swore they could hear a certain Final Fantasy XII theme song playing in the distance.
"Once the worlds are restored, they will also be seperate again," Aeris continued.
"Everyone and everything will go back to where they came from."
"Well then, I'll just visit you guys in the Gummi Ship," said Sora like a relative in denial.
"It's... not that simple," said Squall like a dad who was about to explain to their kid that their dog wasn't going to come back after running into heavy traffic.
"Before any of this happened--before the Farceless came--you didn't know about the other worlds, right?" Yuffie said while looking very depressed.
"Because all the worlds were isolated," Aeris said. "Impassable walls divided them. They looked kinda like big dark evil bubbles."
"The Farceless destroyed those walls. But... if the world returns... so do the walls."
"Which means a Gummi Ship will merely bounce back from the world or maybe be destroyed in the atmosphere," Squall finished for them.
Sora looked up all teary-eyed. "So that means we'll never..."
Squall grew solemn. Well, more solemn than he usually was. "We may never meet again, but we'll never forget each other."
"No matter where we are, our farce will always bring us together again," Aeris said.
"Besides, I couldn't forget you even if I wanted to!" Yuffie lied.
"Tch. What's that supposed to mean?" Sora said with his hands on his hips.
"Sora!" came Donald's voice.
"Come and seal the Keyhole!" came Goofy's voice as well.
"Sora, good luck," Squall said.
You know, he really should've taken care of sealing the Keyhole before having a page-long conversation with his Hollow Bastion buddies. But I guess Sora's too good for that.
He went back to the Dark Depths, and with that one flashy move he uses to seal the Keyholes, sealed this Keyhole, too.
Some time later...
"Thank you, Sora," Alice thanked him. "I think the bad humor has begun to weaken."
"But I can feel a powerfully bad sense of humor growing from far away," Jasmine said. "It might just be a fangirl trying to write a humor story but neh. Whatever."
"Noooooo," Aurora said. "It's a bad sense of humor, all right, but it's growing in the bad humor itself. It's Ansem."
"Then we'll take the Gummi Ship and deal with both Ansem AND the Farceless," Sora said determinedly.
"A worthy answer, Keyblade master," Cinderella said even though it wasn't.
"Sora, your courage can bring back our worlds," Snow White said encouragingly.
Aurora nodded. "Once the bad humor is gone, all should return to its original state."
Sora's eyes widened and he smiled. "Kairi will be back on the island?"
"Most certainly," Cinderella nodded. "And so should you."
Sora was about to give a loud and cheerful "YIPPEE!" but then he remembered that Kairi wanted him to save Riku. "Oh yeah. I can't go home 'til I find Riku and the King." He sighed disappointedly, but then skipped off to the Gummi Ship.
"That kid's a goner," Snow White said, shaking her head.
"Oh, at least have a little faith in him," Cinderella said with her hands on her hips. "You've been such a pesimist since you ate that poison apple."
Meanwhile, with Sora and Mystery Inc...
They stepped onto the biggest piece of land in this new, depressing world. Left was right and up was down, it seemed, or at least that's the effect it gave you because the purple bad humor really did make you feel sick.
"Gawrsh... is this all that's left of the worlds taken by the Farceless?" Goofy asked.
"Probably," Donald said. "It's really disorienting, though."
"Those worlds will be restored once we beat Ansem, right?" Sora asked.
"Probably," Donald said again.
"But, uhh, if we do beat him and the worlds become restored and disconnected, then... what'll happen to this world?" As an afterthought, he added, "And to us?"
"Well, uhh... it's all very complicated..." Donald tried.
"This is a Farceless world, so maybe it'll just disappear," said Goofy, always looking on the bright side of things.
"Huh?" asked Sora and Donald in unison.
"Gawrsh, no worries, guys," Goofy continued reassuringly. "Even if this place goes poof, our farce ain't goin' nowhere. I'm sure we'll find our pals again. Yup, I just know we will."
"That was a double-negative," Sora pointed out. "So technically our farce will go somewhere."
"Stop being a smarty-pants, Sora," Donald grumbled.
Sora was silent for a minute before taking the charm Kairi gave him out of his pocket. He stared at it. "I'll return this. I promise."
End of the World
As they walked into the next area, Goofy asked, "I wonder where that Ansem feller went?" He scratched his head under his hat.
"Dive into the most dangerous place and we'll find him!" Donald said.
"Have you lost all common sense?" Sora nearly screamed at the duck. Then he paused. "Well then... that really hasn't stopped us from doing other life-threatening things." Then he had a flashback of all the times he was nearly killed.
But it would be tedious and kind of pointless to reference every time that happened, because, unlike all the times he's screwed up, the times he's been near-death aren't nearly as memorable. Unless you're a person who likes to remember that stuff and thinks it's FUNNY. Do you? That's okay. I do too, sometimes.
And since this next part is kind of boring and there's no text...
FAST FORWARD!
thentheyreachedanareawheretheyfoughtabunchofFarcelessfromthedifferentworldsandtheyfoughtChernabogandcheeredbecausetheybeatitandthenafterthattheyreachedtheFinalRestarea.
PLAY!
Sora stopped suddenly. "Huh?" he asked himself.
"What?" asked Donald. "What's wrong?"
"Don't you hear it?" He stopped and listened for a minute. "...There!"
"Careful. This is the last haven you will find here. Beyond, there is no light to protect you. But don't be afraid. Your farce is the mightiest weapon of all. Remember, you are the one who will open the door to light."
"BOB?" Sora asked with a 'wtf' look.
"I don't hear anything," Donald replied flatly.
"Well... maybe it was just my imagination."
"Maybe you need to take a rest," Donald suggested.
And after he did that, he opened the door. And what did he see there? Why, it was shocking! You'll never believe it! Unless you've beaten Kingdom Hearts. But let's say you didn't! The answer will KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF!
"Is this... is this my island?" Sora asked in a hushed voice.
Well, it looked just like his island. There was the white sand, and the crystal-clear water, and that waterfall by the Secret Place, and the little island with the bent tree that Riku was always on, and that big wooden platform where Tidus always was, and the docks.
"This is anticlimactic," said Sora with a 'wtf' look.
Then he walked over to the Secret Place and heard another familiar voice:
"This world has been connected."
A few objects nearby began to disappear.
"What was that?" Goofy asked.
"Tied to the darkness...soon to be completely eclipsed," the voice continued.
Sora scratched his chin as other things began to disappear nearby. "Hmm... this seems soooo familiar."
"One who knows nothing can understand nothing."
"But where have I heard this voice before?"
Complete and utter chaos seemed to break out in the ocean because at that moment it turned bright purple.
"You understand so little. A meaningless effort. One who knows nothing can understand nothing."
And the island completely changed.
Riku in his spandex suit was standing on a chunk of land overlooking the purple ocean. As Sora came closer, though, Ansem started speaking: "Take a look at this tiny place. To the farce seeking freedom this island is a prison surrounded by water. And so, this boy sought to escape from this prison. He sought a way to cross over to other worlds. And he opened his farce to the bad humor."
Riku turned to Ansem, who was kind of just standing to the side. Which means, yes, Riku turned to his left.
"Riku!" Sora cried.
"Don't bother," Ansem chuckled. "Your voice can no longer reach him. Not where he is. His farce belongs again to bad humor. All worlds begin in bad humor and all so end. The farce is no different. Bad humor sprouts within it, consumes it. Such is its nature. In the end, the farce returns to the bad humor from whence it came." He added thoughtfully, "I believe this was all in some report some time ago..." Then he smirked. "You see, bad humor is the farce's true essence."
"That's not true!" Sora snapped and he looked ready and rarin' to kill Ansem to death. "The farce may be weak, and sometimes it may even give in, but I've learned that deep down, there's a speck of good humor that never dies!"
For the sake of actually following the script, Ansem was suddenly behind them, floating in mid-air. "So, you have come this far and still you understand nothing. Every good joke must be unfunny, every farce must return to bad humor!"
Then they fought to the death, but apparently Ansem wasn't really dead and was just hiding in a tree. So then they went over to the tree where Ansem made it explode and he popped out, but alas Goofy and Donald were pushed behind another barrier so Sora had to fight alone. Except, now he was in some weird different place.
As he was kinda just standing there, looking around, a large shadowy pool of bad humor formed nearby. And out of it rose the giant Farceless from the very first chapter.
The giant Farceless looked down at him, then its eyes narrowed and it pointed at Sora.
"Oh..." Sora said meekly.
"MORTAL KOMBAT!" screamed a raspy voice from nowhere as the Mortal Kombat theme started up. And if you've heard it, you know it's DANCEABLE.
So danceable in fact, that the Farceless got so distracted by the music that it didn't notice Sora beating it. Whoops!
Then Ansem appeared and the music shorted out. And of course Sora fought him and beat him. Duh. You should have learned by now.
And after that, the ended up in some big dark emptiness.
"Wha...?" Sora asked distractedly.
"BEHOLD the endless abyss!" Ansem said. "Within lies the farce of all worlds: Kingdom Farce!"
Indeed, there was a large white door that looked like it belonged to some church.
"Look as hard as you are able," Ansem laughed. "You'll not find a glimmer of good humor. From those dark depths, all farce is born. Even yours." Then Ansem came into view, and he'd underwent a Seymour-ish transformation that was known as WORLD OF CHAOS. "BAD HUMOR conquers all worlds!"
With a flick of his wrist, he summoned a dark portal that sucked Donald and Goofy in like a Dirt Devil vacuum and then Sora fell in slow-motion again.
"Giving up already? Come on, Sora. I thought you were tougher than that," said Riku's voice from nowhere.
Well, this next part is also kind of boring.
FAST FORWARD!
SoraflewupandfoughtWorldofChaosandthenAnsemfrozehimselfwithaFarcelesscrestandSoratriedtobeathimupagainbuthewasimmunenowsincehewasfrozenandallthenSorasawaportalandwentthroughitandfoughttheRoomCoreandofcoursehewonsothenhecontinuedonwardandfoughttheArtilleriesandwonthatonetooofcourseandthenhesawanotherportalandwentthroughthattooandthenhemetupwithGoofyandtheydestroyedthesecondRoomCoreandtheyfoughttheFaceandsawyetanotherportalandyestheywentthroughitandfoundDonaldanddestroyedthethirdRoomCoreandtheygotawayandfoughttheMainCoreandAnsementeredthesceneagain.
PLAY!
"It is futile," Ansem said. "The Keyblade alone cannot seal the door to darkness." He turned to Kingdom Farce and pointed at it. "Kingdom FARCE! Fill me with the power of BAD HUMOR..."
The doors started to open...
"Supreme idiocy," sneered Ansem.
Sora pointed the Keyblade at Ansem. "You're wrong," he said. "I know now... without a doubt... Kingdom Farce... IS GOOD HUMOR!"
Light spilled out of the doors, enveloping Ansem. He screamed and writhed a little bit. "LIGHTS! But WHY?" He started to disappear. "I'm meeeeeeellltiiiiiing!" With that, he was gone. FOREVAH! OR IS HE?
Sora ran up to the paritally-opened door. "Come on!" he yelled over his shoulder, and he and Donald and Goofy began to push it closed.
Something caught Goofy's eye and he looked past the door a little bit. Then he let out a loud gasp and couldn't avert his gaze.
"Stop staring and keep pushing!" Donald snapped at him. But he caught sight of whatever it was Goofy was looking at, too, and couldn't help but say,
"FARCELESS?" in unison with Goofy.
They started pushing frantically again.
"Hurry!"
"I... can't..." Sora said in a very strained voice as he pushed with all his might.
"Don't give up!" cried Riku from the other side of the door.
"Riku!" Sora gasped. Then he gained a 'wtf' look. "Wait, where'd you come from?"
"It doesn't matter!" Riku snapped. "Together, we can do it!" He began pulling the door closed.
They kept trying to close the door but alas it was to no avail.
"It's hopeless," Donald said.
Some Farceless that were approaching the door were suddenly obliterated instantly. And there was Mickey Mouse.
"Your Majesty!" Goofy and Donald said as if it wasn't obvious that Mickey was the King the whole time. I think I said so in the first chapter. It was obvious anyway.
"Now Sora!" Mickey called, holding up yet another Keyblade. "Let's close this door for good!"
"Close it, quick!" Donald yelled almost in Sora's ear.
Sora looked from Donald to Mickey a few times. "But..."
"Don't worry," Mickey said reassuringly. "There will always be a door to the good humor."
"Gawrsh Sora, you can trust the King," Goofy told Sora.
"Now!" cried Riku. "They're coming!"
"Donald... Goofy..." said the King like a man without regrets. "Thank you."
And as the door closed, Riku said: "Take--"
"I'm not taking your hand, you gay-wad, sheesh," Sora grumbled.
Riku glared at him just as the door closed at last.
"CLOSE!" said the Door.
And then, Sora and King Mickey used their Keyblades to seal Kingdom Farce. Once it sealed, the door disappeared.
Sora turned to his left, where Kairi was standing. "Kairi!" he called, running towards her.
"Sora!" she called back. The ground shook and she stumbled forward, but Sora caught her hand.
"Kairi! Remember what you said before?" Sora said, really getting into it. "I'm always with you, too. I'll come back to you. I promise!" But he didn't stop there. "Listen, Kairi. You're gonna get outta here. You're gonna go on. And you're gonna make lots of--"
"What?" Kairi asked, confused.
"Uhh, nothing! I'll come back to you, I promise!"
"I know you will!"
And with that, they could hold on together no longer, and Kairi's little spit of land began to move. She turned around, where everything began popping back up and golden sparkles accented their spawning. The sparkles rained down, and she looked back to where Sora was still calling, and then he disappeared.
"Aww..." she said disappointedly. She looked back up at the shining horizon, and suddenly stars shot up, placing themselves back in their rightful places in the sky. 'Twas all very pretty.
Then she decided to go back to the Secret Place, and she looked at the drawings, then the door. And she spotted the drawing Sora had made and had a little Sora-Hallucination. Then she picked up a rock and started drawing as well.
And now when people came into the Secret Place, they saw a picture that was badly drawn of a guy giving a star-shaped object to a girl, who was handing him another star-shaped object.
I told you not to do that
You have no common sense
You shot yourself in the foot
Even though you had no gun
You're the biggest idiot I've ever known in my life
You are so stupid
For my birthday you got me that one thing
You wanted for Christmas
So I had to give it to you
You would jump into a pit of leeches
And then say that it tickled
You would go and rap with my grandma
Sometimes I think "was it such a good idea to
Become your sorry girlfriend?"
I told you not to do that
But do you listen to me?
I told you not to do that
Like when you poked that skunk
You're the biggest idiot anybody's ever known
You are so stupid
(So stupid and dumb)
You made a sign saying that you would eat
(Go read the sequel)
Five nickels for five pennies
(It's not about food)
And even return change
I think you may be rubbing off on me
Because I haven't really learned
Since you wouldn't listen to me the first time
So what makes me think that you'll listen now?
Am I really that dumb?
How stupid can you get?
I mean seriously you're dumb
You set a record for idiocy
Riku's smarter and look where he went
No offense but you're an idiot and I generally
Dislike dumb people
Shut up
You've been talking about lima beans
For the last twenty minutes
Last week you were saying that you hated them
Now you've changed your mind
And when you're seemingly smart
You tend to prove me wrong
You say something intelligent
And then go right back to being...
You're the biggest idiot anybody's ever known
You are so stupid
Shut up
You've been talking about lima beans
For the last twenty minutes
Last week you were saying that you hated them
Now you've changed your mind
Shut up
You've been talking about lima beans
For the last twenty minutes
Last week you were saying that you hated them
Now you've changed your mind
"Well, what do we do now?" Donald asked as he, Sora, and Goofy walked down a peaceful country lane.
"We've gotta find Riku and the King," Sora said. "...Obviously."
"But, uhh, where do we start lookin' fer that door to good humor?" Goofy asked, then they stopped and just had to ponder this.
Luckily, the plot convenience known as Pluto happened to be there as well, and he just so happened to have a letter with the King's seal in his mouth.
"Pluto?" they all asked.
"Hey, Pluto!" Goofy said in greeting. "Where have you been?"
"Hey!" Donald said, pointing at the letter in Pluto's mouth that was obvious and it was kind of hard to miss.
"Gawrsh! The King's seal!"
"Have you seen the King?" Sora asked Pluto.
The dog ran off, then looked back as if saying, "Come on, stupid!"
"Come on, guys!" Sora said, then they ran off down the road.
Fade out...
THE END
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Well! That certainly was a long five months. I hope you enjoyed the story.
By Wolf McCloud-123 (don't forget it!)
Ending Theme: 'Idiot' written by yours truly (Wolf) to the tune of 'Hikari'. None of that 'Simple and Clean' nonsense when there are more diverse stanzas to be parodied. Hikari and Simple and Clean are both copyright to Utada Hikaru. And maybe Toshiba EMI. It depends on which one we're talking about.
Sorry to all Riku fans. I kinda like his new look in KH2 and he's not such a gay-wad, but seriously. He kind of overdid it in the first game. You can't deny that. Well, you can. But it would be kinda stupid because Riku's STILL got questionable sexuality.
Look for Kingdom Farce II sometime in mid-to-late-2007.
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A/N: Well, it's finally over. Kingdom Farce is complete. I hope you all liked it, despite the stupid jokes and all the Riku bashing.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and/or alerted this story! I also thank the people who even glanced at it, as it's not that popular (because you guys are so unaccustomed to good things, I think). So yeah. Thank you.
All characters are copyright 2002 SquareEnix. I should've totally put that in the first chapter but it's too late now. The farce plotline is copyright 2006 to Wolf McCloud-123. Or so one would assume.
Watch for sequels! They will expand on the plot.
Yes I am doing a KH2 parody. I can't just end it and not do anything else, can I? I would feel... stupid. And like I was robbing you guys of another good parody.
So like, Wolf... OUT! (walks off-stage like Ryan Seacrest)