CHAPTER 11

NEXT MORNING: HOSPITAL

Alexa looks up from the newspaper she is reading as her Dad reenters the hospital room. "So am I out of here?"

"You are officially checked out."

"Good."

"The doctor wants to see you in a few days to check out your wrists."

Alexa looks at her bandaged wrists "They don't hurt."

"Good." Sark says relieved. "Let's get you home."

Once in the car Alexa stares out the window her mind running over everything, "What happens to me now?" She asks looking at her Dad.

"Well there are some things that need to be worked out but in time you'll be in school."

Alexa looks at her Dad wide-eyed, "An actual school?"

"Yes. Will you be OK with that? Or would you rather continue with a tutor?"

"I've never really thought about actually going to school. He wouldn't let me... I asked but he always said no."

"Now you can go."

"I never thought about going to school. I mean it always seemed like something that would never happen. I just... accepted it." She shrugs "Besides even if I went to school with kids my age I wouldn't fit in."

"You will."

Alexa rubs her wrist absently, "We'll see."

WHILE LATER: HOUSE

"Daddy"

Sark quickly catches the running boy, "Nikolai."

"Daddy's home Mommy." Niko calls then grins seeing the other person. "Hi" he chirps happily. "Want to play?"

"Hi." Alexa smiles at her brother.

"You two can play later."

Sydney walks into the foyer and smiles seeing Alexa, "Morning Alexa. How are you feeling?"

"Awake." Alexa says dryly.

"You did sleep most of yesterday." Sark reminds shifting Niko in his arms.

"Down Daddy." Nikolai demands

"Such a demanding child." Sark sets Niko on his feet.

Niko looks at his sister then tugs on her hand, "Come play."

Sark sees Alexa flinch slightly then nod

"Sure." Alexa allows the boy to pull her into the house.

"That went well." Sydney smiles at Sark.

Sark grins "So we're finally alone... no cameras... no security. Oh what should we do?"

Sydney pulls him into the hall away from the windows, "This." She pulls his head down kissing him passionately.

Sark breaks the kiss leaving them both breathless, "Bloody hell I've wanted to do that since we left the hotel room." He rests his forehead against Sydney's grinning.

"Same." Sydney swallows heavily, "So how are things with you and Alexa going?"

"She took the news about going to school well. She's hesitant though."

"She's had little contact with people her own age... not a surprise she'd be a little hesitant about going to school." Sydney pulls away, "I'm sure she'll adjust... she's your daughter after all." She heads back to the living room where they find Alexa sitting on the floor with Nikolai who is introducing her to all of his toys.

Sark looks at Alexa, "That she is."

"What's next Sark?"

"We'll have to wait and see. Alexa will need time."

"And a lot of therapy." Sydney looks at him, "You know it Sark. She's not going to immediately adjust to this life. She's going to have problems from what he did to her... if she ever tells."

"I know." Sark watches as the two kids play, "She's not flinching as bad as she does when people touch her or try." He muses

Sydney looks over to where Alexa is patiently allowing Niko climb over her, "She probably doesn't see him as a threat since he's so little."

Sark nods "Probably." Sark steps up to Sydney his hands on either side of her on the counter. "So we're home... are things going to change?"

Sydney sighs resting her hands on his shoulders, "In what way?"

"Are you going to change your mind about giving us a chance?"

"No."

"So does that mean I get to sleep in your bed now?" He asks their lips inches apart.

"From time to time."

"Why not all the time?"

"Besides the fact we have a teenager living with us now? The fact that we need actual sleep... and you tend to try and start things."

"And if I behave?"

"You never behave." Sydney rolls her eyes

"That's what you like about me."

"Oh shut up." Sydney kisses him

LATE EVENING

"Come on you its bath time." Sydney picks up Niko.

"No Mama. I wanna play."

"You have tomorrow to play." Sydney answers carrying Niko out of the kitchen.

Alexa pulls herself up onto the counter as her Dad does the dishes. "Grandfather doesn't do dishes."

"I'm not surprised." Sark says dryly. "Sydney wants Niko raised around normal things and doing dishes is normal. We do have a housekeeper that comes twice a week and does grocery shopping from time to time. Up until about seven months ago, I had a full time Nanny, housekeeper... then they found me and brought me back here. Sydney had to take care of Nikolai on her own. Sydney found a way to bargain my release and I moved in, then we moved here about three weeks ago." Sark wipes his hands off. "There's something I want to show you." He heads into the laundry room and grabs the box he had brought out of his bedroom. He steps out of the laundry room.

"What's that?"

"I'll show you." He tilts his head towards the living room.

Alexa follows him into the living room and sits on the couch watching as he opens the box removing a stuffed bear.

"Do you remember him?" Sark hands Alexa the bear.

Alexa regards the bear thoughtfully then nods "I called him Teddy."

Sark nods "You two were inseparable."

/12 YEARS EARLIER

Alexa stands in the middle of the living room crying hysterically. "Teddy"

"Alexa sweetie we don't have time for this." Eva says picking up the little girl who squirms.

"I want Teddy." Alexa cries

"Alexander, have you found Teddy?" Eva calls trying to calm her daughter down.

"He's not in her room"

"Check under our bed and in the closet." Eva returns/

"You hated not knowing where he was." Sark smiles faintly.

"He wouldn't let me take him." Alexa says sadly as she stares at the bear, "I said I wanted Teddy but he didn't care." She hugs the bear brief memories of the bear hitting her, "SuperBear." She looks at her Dad "I used to pretend he was able to fly."

Sark nods "Drove your mother nuts. She used to say that you would give her gray hairs before thirty with all the things you did. Especially the time you gathered all the pillows underneath the dining room table and almost jumped."

"You stopped me before I could"

"You were furious. You hated when anyone said no to you." Sark smiles faintly.

"You want to know what happened that night."

"When you are ready to talk about it we will."

Alexa bites her lip hugging the bear, "I dream about it... sometimes."

"When you want to talk about it we'll talk about it."

Alexa nods "What else is in there?"

"Not much. Everything else is in storage. Your baby clothes, your stuffed animals, your bed and dresser, your bookcase... these are just the things I didn't want to keep in storage."

"Oh."

Sark removes a blanket, "Here is your blanket. You used to carry this everywhere. We used to have to take it away at night so we could wash it without you fussing. One time we had to take it from you when you were asleep because it was covered in mud. When awake you would cry the whole time your blanket was in the wash, it was the same with Teddy. We had to take him at night as well."

"Good thing I slept through it or you would have traumatized me." Alexa teases

"Probably." Sark agrees with a small smile.

"What else is in there?"

"Your first pair of shoes... which you never kept on." Sark removes a pair of black patent shoes, "Your Mom got these when you were six months old and you would kick whenever she put them on. You always found a way to get them off, even as you got older you would kick them off wherever we were. We lost a lot of shoes over the years because you kicked them off at the worst times." He shakes his head amused then removes a photo album. "And this" he leans back against the couch cushions and opens the photo album to the first picture.

Alexa smiles looking at the first picture of her parents; "When was this?"

"The day we were married." Sark answers. "She was incredible."

"What was she like? I don't remember much... and he never talked about her... unless it involved alcohol and four letter words." Alexa looks at the picture.

"She was a lot of things. She was somewhat shy... but incredibly stubborn. She was terrified when she told me she was pregnant."

"Why?"

"Partially because she didn't know how I'd take it... mostly because she knew how he'd take it."

"How did you take it?"

"I was surprised at first but I accepted it. She was happy... and I wanted her happy. She was four months pregnant by that time."

"How old were you guys when you met?"

"Eva was two weeks shy of her sixteenth... I was 17."

"You loved her."

"More than anything; she was the first person since my mother died that I allowed close. She made me happy... so did you." He turns the page and laughs at the first picture of Alexa taken not long after her birth, "You were one loud newborn. You were five pounds and six ounces. Just a pound smaller than Niko."

"I was little."

"And a squirmer. You loved being carried around and cried when we'd put you down for too long but you squirmed."

"Dad?"

Sark inwardly smiles hearing her call him Dad, "Yes?"

"How'd you know it was me? I mean it has been ten years."

"He assumed I would have been a hands off Dad but I wasn't. I know were all of your birthmarks and chicken pox scars are." Sark shrugs "That and you look just like Eva." The two continue to talk and look through the photo album.

8PM

Sark sees Alexa yawn, "You've had a long day. Why don't you get some sleep? We'll talk tomorrow."

"OK" Alexa yawns again and stands. "Night Dad."

"Night Lexa." Sark watches as Alexa walks up the stairs. He takes a sip of his wine and looks back at the photo album at the picture of Eva getting a hug from Lexa. 'She's back Eva. Our little girl is back where she belongs... yet you aren't here.'

Sydney walks down the stairs to find Sark sitting on the couch staring at the photo album. She joins him on the couch "You OK?"

"Looking through this brings back a lot of memories."

"I bet."

"She's so much like Eva."

"Well her ability to do what she did to Cassadine shows she's definitely your daughter."

"Yes she is."

"Hard to believe a teenager managed to pull that off."

"She's a smart girl." Sark says proudly. "Always has been. She started reading at three and writing at four." He looks at the picture of Eva laughing as Lexa runs around the yard, "I miss her."

"I still miss Danny." Sydney admits.

"You were going to marry him weren't you?"

Sydney nods "I found him dead in the bathtub. Sloane had bugged my phone and heard his drunken rambling about not caring about what I did for a living."

Sark tilts his head thoughtfully, "Why tell him?"

Sydney stares at him, "I wasn't going to marry him without coming clean. Besides you told Eva."

"Yes but she didn't go off and get drunk and say anything over the phone."

"OK I screwed up. I should have gone another way in telling him I guess. But he deserved to know."

"Do you think if you had married him it would have lasted?"

"I don't know... sometimes I think it would but most of the time when I wonder I think I wouldn't have lasted. Danny wouldn't have been able to handle knowing what I do."

"And Vaughn? Do you think that would have lasted?"

"I'm not sure... he never gave it a chance."

"Still bitter?"

"Not really. Just disgusted with the fact he accepted it when Dad didn't." She looks at Sark "What about you? Do you think you and Eva would have lasted?"

"I think so. I would have done anything to make sure we would have."

"So you would have totally stopped working for Mom?"

"Yes."

"Devoted huh?"

Sark shrugs "I loved her. I would have done anything for her."

'I wish I could find some as devoted as Sark was to his wife.' She tilts her head, 'Perhaps I have... I am with Sark. Who knows how things are going to go between us.' She takes the wine glass taking a sip of his wine.

"When are you going to tell Jack?" Sark questions

"Give me a while."

"You can't keep it from him forever."

"I know. I will tell him." Sydney promises handing the glass back to Sark. "I just need to figure out how to tell him. Its not something I can just blurt out to Dad."

"Tell him when you are ready."

"I'm going to tell him."

"Just make sure he doesn't try to kill me."

"I'll try. But you know Dad..."

"He hates me."

"Besides that he's always looking after me. He just wants me safe and happy."

"And if I'm what makes you happy?" Sark asks setting his wine glass down and reaches up running his fingers through her hair.

"Then he'll have to deal." Sydney leans in kissing him.

MIDNIGHT

Resting her hands on either side of Sark's head as he runs his hands down her back and sides Sydney stares at him, 'God he's something else. Hard to believe we once despised each other. Six years ago I never would have thought I'd sleep with him.' She kisses him lightly then tucks her head under his chin, "Stay?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Sark pulls up the covers up, "Night Syd"

"Night Sark." Sydney yawns. "Hey Sark?"

"Hmm?"

"How come you don't use your first name?"

Sark flinches "Weird as it sounds hearing my name sometimes hurts. The few people who ever called me by name died." He swallows heavily "After I started back I told Irina that I'd only go by Sark. She only calls me by my first name when she's angry."

"Oh. How long have you gone by Sark?"

Sark shrugs, "Since I was 14."

"Do you ever think you'll use it again?"

"Perhaps one day." He looks at Sydney, "So do you know what my name is?"

"Yes."

"It's not on CIA records."

"No its not... Mom told me." Sydney lifts her head giving him a small smile, "Both suit you." She trails her fingers across his jaw, "Don't worry I haven't told anyone I know."

Sark nods "Thank you."

Sydney returns her head to his chest. "So she was named after you."

"Mmm. I once asked Eva why... she said that it was because if it wasn't for us meeting she'd still be with him... dead or married to some rich old friend of his."

"Oh."

"Get some sleep Sydney."

TBC…