CHAPTER 17
2 MONTHS LATER
Alexa sits on the back porch watching as the sun goes down.
"You're sixteen now." Sark remarks joining Alexa on the steps. "How does it feel?"
"Weird." Alexa admits "I just... with him I never knew if I'd make it to another birthday." She rubs her arms. "He was always angry around my birthday."
"You don't have to worry about him OK." Sark slips his arm around Alexa's shoulder. "He's in jail and won't be getting out."
"Yeah" Alexa rests her head on her Dad's arm.
"We could have thrown you a birthday party." Sark muses
"Nah. Besides I'm not the party type."
"You get that from me." Sark laughs. "I bloody hate parties. I can survive clubs and business meetings but parties..." He shakes his head. "Your Mom on the other hand... as much as she hated his get-togethers she loved having people around." He kisses Alexa's head, "I still have one more present for you Lex."
"Dad"
"No protesting. This is something I think we both need." He reaches into his back pocket and removes an envelope handing it to Alexa.
Alexa opens it to reveal a plane ticket to England. She looks at her Dad surprised. "When?"
"This summer, after school is out. I have cleared it with Dixon and he agreed I can leave as long as Sydney goes as well. His way of keeping me from running I guess." He says annoyed. "If you're ready that is... they're open tickets so we can go when you're ready."
"Can I think about it?"
"It is your decision on when and if you want to do this. I'm not going to push it."
Alexa nods "Thanks Dad." She hugs her Dad.
"Happy birthday, baby." Sark returns the hug. 'God I miss you Eva.'
"Lexie come play." Niko demands as he runs out onto the porch.
Sark laughs, "You heard the impatient one... go play. Don't wind him up though... its almost his bed time."
"I won't." Alexa promises standing she follows her brother into the house.
Sark sits there his mind going over all that has happened since he found out Alexa was alive. 'Our girl has made it to sixteen Eva. Let's just see if she'll survive to seventeen.'
LATER THAT NIGHT
Sydney smiles at Sark as he joins her in the kitchen, "So how'd she take it?"
"Pretty good. I don't think she's ready to face that though."
"She will... in time. It could be now or in a few months." Sydney shrugs
"I know." Sark leans against the counter. "All day I've been wondering" He trails off thoughtfully.
"What have you been wondering?"
"If he hadn't taken Lexa, would she have survived my lifestyle all these years? Would she have ended up worse being with me... or with him? Would Eva have been better off if we hadn't married?" Sark sighs, "So many things I've been wondering since I found out she was alive."
"When I found out Mom was alive I always wondered what life would have been like had I known. We always wonder Sark... we'll never know."
"I can't help it Sydney."
"I know." Sydney wipes her hands off and slides her arms around his neck, "For what its worth... I think you would have done everything possible to keep her safe if things had gone another way. Despite all that's happened Alexa is a great kid."
Sark smiles faintly "That she is." He rests his forehead against Sydney's, "Thanks Syd."
"For what?"
"Everything, because of you she might not end up becoming a screwed up adult. God knows how she could have turned out if you weren't around."
"Ehh" She shrugs "She would have turned out fine. I mean there is one thing she does have on her side"
"What's that?"
"A weird... yet good Dad."
"Oh I'm weird?" Sark tilts his head
"Very."
"But you adore me anyway." Sark smirks
"No I don't." Sydney denies trying to hide the faint smile that is threatening to appear.
"Yes you do... and one day you'll admit it."
"Then you'll have to admit you adore me as well." Sydney retorts
"Perhaps." He looks at Sydney thoughtfully, "Thanks though Sydney"
Sydney nods
CHAPTER 18
2 MONTHS LATER: SOMEWHERE
Sydney closes her phone and takes a deep breath.
"Sydney?"
Sydney looks at Sark, "Hmm?"
"Are you ready to go?"
Sydney nods absently. "Yeah." She grabs her coat.
"You OK Sydney?" Sark asks concerned
"Yeah." She hedges "Let's just get this done." She walks out of the room ahead of him.
Sark frowns 'Something is going on with her.'
DAWN
Sydney and Sark run through the words. Sark stops "I think we lost them." He announces looking at Sydney. "What the hell happened back there, Syd? You froze... you never freeze."
Sydney looks at Sark wincing at the blood trickling down his forehead, "You're bleeding."
"We need to get out of sight. You're bloody exhausted and I need to think about how to get us out of here."
"Where are we?" Sydney asks looking around
"I don't know but we need to find a cave or empty cabin to stay in." Sark muses. "Then you will tell me what the hell happened back there." He says angrily starting to walk away. When he realizes Sydney isn't following he looks back at her to see her standing still looking lost, "Sydney"
"I'm done" Sydney announces
"Syd we can't stay here"
"When we get home I'm resigning."
Sark looks at her startled "WHAT! You love your work. You love the action. What would make you leave?"
Sydney bites her lip then blurts out "I'm pregnant"
Sark stares at her "How long have you known?" He demands after a moment of stunned silence.
"That's what that call was before we left the hotel." She hugs herself
Sark runs his fingers through his hair, "We'll finish this once we're somewhere safe."
Sydney nods knowing he needs to think and process what she just told him. They walk in silence until they reach an obviously deserted cabin. They enter the dusty and dank cabin.
"We'll have to stay here for a while."
Sydney sits on the cot in the corner, "I'm sorry. I know I should have told you."
Sark sits next to her "How long have you suspected?"
"A week or so."
"Even if you hadn't told me you should have told Jack. You shouldn't have come on this mission."
"I know." Sydney whispers as she hugs herself.
"How far along are you?"
"I don't know. All the doctor did was confirm what I suspected." She nervously tucks her hair behind her ears, "I know I should have told you but it never seemed like a good time... something was always coming up."
"Damn it Sydney" Sark stands walking the floor "this is the second time you declined to tell me you are pregnant." He runs his fingers through his hair.
"This isn't like with Niko." Sydney says hurriedly. "The reason I didn't tell you was because we've been busy. There hasn't been a good time... hell a decent time." She looks at Sark worriedly. "I'm sorry" She blinks back tears
Sark takes a deep breath then crouches before her taking her hands between his kissing her knuckles, "You OK?" He asks concerned.
"I'm tired and ready to go home." Sydney sniffles
Sark nods "I bet." He kisses her forehead, "Why don't you get some rest I'll go see if I can figure out where we are. We can't be more than a few miles from a road. I won't be gone long." He promises
"Just hurry. I have a bad feeling." Sydney whispers her voice filled with worry.
"How so?"
"Kind of like the one I had the moment I realized Francie wasn't Francie." Sydney whispers
"I promise I won't be long. Nothing bad is going to happen." Sark kisses her sweetly. "We have a lot to talk about Syd."
"I know." She gives him a sad smile watching as he walks out of the cabin. 'He'll be back.' She curls up on the cot her head on her arm as she watches the door her gun close.
Sark walks out of the cabin closing the door behind him he takes a deep breath settling his nerves, 'Another baby.' He starts down the road setting his mind on his task at hand not wanting to dwell and continues his search for a way to get Sydney somewhere safe.
WHILE LATER
Sydney opens her eyes to see Sark enter the cabin. "Well?"
"We're about three miles from a road. It seems we're at the dead end of the road." Sark informs her. "Get some sleep and then we'll head for the road. If there's a road then there's a town somewhere down the road." He sits on the edge of the bed "How are you feeling?" He questions smoothing her hair out of her face.
Sydney shrugs "I just want to go home."
"We'll be home soon." He assures "Just get some rest." He leans down kissing her forehead.
"God I need a shower."
Sark smiles warily "Same."
Sydney smiles "Yeah you do." She tugs him down beside her, "Still mad at me?"
"I wasn't mad Sydney." Sark pulls her into his arms.
"Yes you were. You had that 'you pissed me off' look."
"All right fine I was pissed off." Sark admits. "Can you blame me?"
"No." Sydney admits. "I'm sorry for not telling you."
"I know." He kisses her head. "Get some sleep Sydney." He hears Sydney's breathing even out, "Everything is going to be OK." He murmurs
HOUR LATER
"Sydney"
Sydney slowly opens her eyes to see Sark watching her. "Mmm?"
"We need to get a move on. How are you feeling?"
Sydney sits up closing her eyes at the sudden wave of dizziness, "Lets just go."
"Are you OK?"
Sydney nods "I'm fine."
"When we get to town I'm going to get you to a doctor."
"Shower and food first then doctor." Sydney returns
"Fine but you are going to be checked out before we leave." Sark says firmly as he helps her stand.
8AM
"Finally." Sark says relieved as they reach the nearest town miles away from the cabin. He looks at Sydney "How are you feeling?" He asks concerned.
"My feet are killing me." Sydney scowls
"At least you'll get your shower." Sark brushes her hair back gently kissing her forehead, "Lets find us a place to stay."
20 MINS LATER: HOTEL
Sydney sighs in relief as they enter the hotel room, "God I need a shower... and clean clothes." She grimaces
"I'll order up the food you go get your shower. After we shower you get some rest and I'll go find us some clean clothes and call Jack."
Sydney nods
"We might not get a pick up until tomorrow." Sark warns
"I know." Sydney kicks off her shoes heading into the bathroom removing her clothes and guns as she walks, "Going to wash my back?"
"I'll be right in."
"All I want is my back washed."
"Fine with me... I need mine washed as well."
"You aren't getting anything else... I'm too tired." Sydney returns as she turns on the shower.
HOUR LATER
"Foods here." Sark calls as he opens the door to find the bell boy standing there with a cart of food. He tilts his head allowing the young man to enter just as Sydney steps out of the bathroom wearing a robe. He tips the young man he closes the door behind him as he exits, "Feel better?" He asks Sydney once the door is closed.
"I'm clean." Sydney shrugs drying her hair with a towel. "Ugh how can you put your dirty clothes on?"
"Have no choice. Nothing else to wear." Sark shrugs "Besides I have to go find us some clean clothes."
Sydney steps up to him and gently touches the scrape on his forehead, "Hurt?"
"Nah, you have done much worse to me." Sark smirks "Come on eat. I called a doctor and he can see you at 4."
Sydney nods sitting on the couch she takes the offered plate and digs in. "God I'm starved."
"I bet. You haven't eaten since yesterday." Sark joins her on the couch and starts to eat.
"True." Sydney agrees when she sees his expression she sighs, "I'm fine Sark. Just need food and a nap."
"All right." Sark says reluctantly then continues to eat.
HALF HOUR LATER
"I won't be gone long." Sark promises "I'm going to call Jack then get us some clothes." He sits on the edge of the bed, "Get a nap all right?"
Sydney nods "Be careful. We don't know if they are still looking for us."
"I'll be careful." Sark assures "Just get some rest."
"I'll try."
"Don't try... do." He kisses her lightly.
"Sure." Sydney watches him leave the bedroom. Slowly she drifts off to sleep after struggling for a while.
Sark walks out of the hotel heading for the nearest payphone
SAME TIME: CIA
"Yes?" Jack greets hurried.
"We ran into a problem."
"Everything OK?" Jack demands
"To a point. We were captured and managed to escape."
"Where are you?"
"We're in a town about 50-60 miles outside of Quebec."
"We can arrange a pick up by tomorrow morning."
"Good."
"How are you managing to hide out?"
"An old alias of mine, Irina is the only one who knows the name. It's one that hasn't been used in a long time. I will call tonight for the meeting coordinates."
"Why did you call in and not Sydney?"
"She's resting." Sark answers not wanting to tell Jack too much for the sake of taped conversations.
"Was she injured?"
"Few scrapes and bruises but she is fine." Sark assures "I will call back." He hangs up
"Sark! Damn it." Jack mutters hanging up.
11AM: HOTEL
Sydney steps out of the bathroom and smiles finding Sark lying on the couch staring at the ceiling. "So feel better being in clean clothes?"
Sark turns and smiles at Sydney "Definitely. How about you?"
"Oh yeah." Sydney heads to the mini-fridge
Sark frowns when he sees Sydney lean against the wall, "Sydney you OK?"
"Just a little dizzy." Sydney replies "God I'd almost forgotten about the dizziness." She gives him a weak smile "I'm fine." She assures continuing to the fridge.
Sark closes his eyes and drifts off to a light sleep.
"Sar" Sydney trails off when she sees his eyes closed. 'Poor guy must be exhausted.' She opens the fridge removing a bottle of water. Opening the bottle she takes a drink then returns to the bedroom.
HOUR LATER
Sydney leans against the bathroom counter taking a deep breath trying to stay her dizziness. She starts to walk out of the bathroom when she doubles over in blinding pain, "Oh God." She gasps "Sark" she calls panicked.
Hearing Sydney's panicked voice Sark hurries into the bathroom where he finds Sydney doubled over looking pained. "Sydney?"
"Sark" Sydney whispers seconds before passing out.
"Sydney" Sark catches Sydney picking her up he carries her to the bed grabbing the phone.
COUPLE HOURS LATER: HOSPITAL
Sydney slowly opens her eyes startled to find herself in a room she bolts upright.
"Sydney" Sark sits on the edge of the bed
"Where am I?" Sydney demands as she looks around.
"The hospital in town." Sark replies
Sydney stares at him "What happened?" She demands hoarsely.
"You passed out." Sark replies
Remembering what she felt before passing out Sydney bites her lip, "I lost the baby didn't I?" She questioningly states.
Sark nods
Sydney lies back down closing her eyes, 'My baby.' She ignores the tears that fall remaining still as she feels Sark gently brush the tears away.
WHILE LATER
Sydney finally speaks, "Did the doctor say how far along I was?"
"He said that you were approximately two and a half months." Sark answers after a few seconds of silence.
Sydney looks at him "What about records?"
"I'll take them before we leave."
Sydney nods closing her eyes, "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"If I'd told you this wouldn't have happened." She whispers tears falling.
"You didn't know this would have happened. It was supposed to be an easy mission. The mission went wrong. Whoever gave us the information screwed up." He brushes her hair back. "Don't blame yourself."
Sydney closes her eyes "I can't help it."
Sark kisses her forehead, "It's going to be OK Sydney." He murmurs
Sydney wraps her arms around his neck burying her face in his shoulder she allows the tears to fall.
8PM: HOTEL
Sark looks at Sydney who is lying on the bed staring at the wall. "Syd"
Sydney looks at him "Yeah?"
"I'm going to go call Jack and give him the coordinates for pick up."
"Don't tell him."
"I won't. Its your decision to tell him."
"He can't know Sark." Sydney says softly.
Sark scowls "We'll discuss this when I get back. I'll be a few minutes." He walks out of the room.
Sydney closes her eyes 'He's angry with me.' She swallows heavily.
WHILE LATER
Sydney looks over as Sark enters the hotel, "What did he say?"
"A retrieval team will pick us up around seven tomorrow outside town." Sark answers tossing his jacket on the couch, "I didn't tell him." He says gruffly.
"Sark, its not that I care he knows I was pregnant... I just don't want to cause another fight between you two." Sydney whispers. "I know Dad would probably blame you for this... even though you didn't know. I'd rather not have that fight again."
"Sydney, I don't care if Jack blames me... its how we are. Things happen I get blamed." Sark shrugs sitting beside her on the couch, "Its the way things are. He is your Dad Sydney and he loves you. He'd want to know."
"I can't Sark." Sydney whispers, "Maybe one day I can but not now."
Sark nods "Your decision."
Sydney shifts leaning against him her head on his chest. "You OK Sark?"
"I'll be fine." Sark strokes her hair.
"I just want to go home and see Niko." Sydney whispers
"We'll be home soon." Sark assures pressing his lips to her hair. Slowly the two fall asleep on the couch.
9AM: JET
Jack looks at Sydney who is curled up on a seat staring out the window, "What happened Sark?"
"Information was wrong. We were captured and taken out of Quebec, we ended up in a shoot out so we ran. We found an abandoned cabin and hid there for a few hours then headed for town." 'Meanwhile found out Sydney was pregnant... lost our baby.' He inwardly flinches. "That's about it."
"Did you two get into another fight?" Jack demands
"No. We're just ready to get home and see the kids." Sark shrugs
Jack nods unconvinced by Sark's words. 'Something happened.'
10 HOURS LATER: LA
"Mama. Mama" Niko runs into the foyer as his parents walk into the house.
Sydney smiles "Niko" she picks him up getting a big hug and kiss. "How's my little guy?"
"Miss Mama and Daddy." Niko pouts
'That is such a Sark pout.' Sydney kisses her baby's forehead, 'He would have been a great big brother. I guess it wasn't meant to happen now.' She meets Sark's gaze over Niko's head. "Missed you too buddy."
"Hi Daddy"
"Hello Nikolai. Where's your sister?"
Nikolai points to the stairs
Sark nods as Samantha joins them. "How were they?"
"Same as always." Samantha answers
"Were you good for Samantha?" Sydney smiles at her son who nods enthusiastically. "Good." She carries him into the living room, "Did you draw any new pictures?"
"Uh huh." Niko nods happily.
"Good." Sydney sits on the couch with Niko on her lap, "What did you do while we were gone?"
Sark leaves Sydney to talk with Niko and heads upstairs to Alexa's room knocking on the door.
"Its open." Alexa calls
Sark enters the bedroom to find Alexa sitting on her bed, "Anything interesting happen while we were gone?"
Alexa tilts her head thoughtfully, "No. What about with you?"
"No." Sark lies "How was school?" He asks joining her on the bed.
"It's the same as always." Alexa shrugs
Sark nods
Alexa regards her Dad, "Is something wrong Dad?"
Sark looks at his daughter startled "Everything is fine." He says quickly, "Is your homework done?" He asks changing the subject.
"Of course."
"Good." Sark nods "Anything you want to talk about?"
"No. You?" Alexa smirks
"I'm the adult here." Sark says amused
"And your point is...?" Alexa trails off.
"Funny."
"How long are you going to be home?"
"We should be here for a while... unless it's to go look for some bloody moron who screwed up the information we received. And for that we wouldn't be gone long."
Alexa nods
EARLY EVENING
Sark enters the bedroom where he finds Sydney lying in bed, "Dinners ready. Are you coming down?"
"I'm not hungry." Sydney says shortly.
"Fine. I'll give Niko his bath and put him to bed." Sark walks out of the bedroom closing the door behind him.
Sydney closes her eyes hugging her pillow.
Sark returns to the kitchen where he finds Alexa lifting Niko into his booster seat. "Alexa can you pour drinks?"
"Sure."
"Where is Mama?" Niko demands
"She's resting." Sark replies
"No dinner?"
"Not right now." Sark turns to the stove preparing Niko's plate.
"Is Mama sick?" Niko asks worried.
"She's just tired." Sark hedges "She just needs some rest."
Niko nods "OK Daddy."
Sark sets the plate before Niko "Here you go."
"Thank you." Niko grins as he picks up a piece of chicken.
LATE EVENING
"Mama, Mama." Niko yells bounding into the bedroom and climbs onto the bed.
Sydney smiles faintly "Hey sweetie."
"I'm all clean." Niko announces burrowing into his Mama's arms.
"Yes you are. You even smell all clean." Sydney kisses his nose. "All ready for bed?"
Niko nods
"Did Daddy read you your story?"
"Uh huh" Niko yawns.
Sark enters the bedroom and smiles seeing Niko curled up against Sydney, "Nikolai its time for bed." He announces. "Give Mama a hug and kiss and say goodnight."
Niko throws his arms around his Mama "Night Mama." He kisses her cheek.
"Night Niko. I love you."
"Love you Mama."
Sark walks over to the bed "Come on Nikolai." He picks the boy up.
"Night Mama." Nikolai waves at his Mama.
"Sleep well little guy." Sydney smiles faintly watching as Sark carries the boy out of the room.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Sydney looks towards the door as it opens and Sark enters
Sark leans against the doorframe, "Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Dinner is in the refrigerator if you're hungry." He walks out of the bedroom.
Sydney closes her eyes 'Sark.' She silently pleads.
NEXT MORNING: CIA
"Where is Sydney?" Jack questions when he sees Sark.
"At home. She's not feeling well." Sark answers
"She didn't look well yesterday." Jack remarks
"She was tired." Sark shrugs
"What aren't you telling me Sark?" Jack demands
"Take it up with Sydney." Sark says annoyed as he walks away.
Jack's eyes narrow then he walks away.
AFTERNOON: HOUSE
"Sydney"
Sydney tears her eyes away from the window as she hears her Dad's voice, "In here."
Jack enters the living room where he finds Sydney sitting on the couch with a mug in her hands a blanket wrapped around her. "Sark said you weren't feeling well."
"Just need a day of sleep after what happened." Sydney shrugs giving her Dad a weak smile. "Don't worry Dad."
Jack sits across from her, "Well I do."
"I know." Sydney takes a sip of her tea, "I'll be back tomorrow."
"Sydney did something happen while you were gone?" Jack asks concerned.
"No." Sydney lies "Nothing happened." She looks into her mug.
"Is everything OK with you and Sark?"
Sydney nods "Same as always."
"All right. Well I'm leaving for a few days. I just wanted to check in before I left." Jack stands leaning down he kisses Sydney's head. "Feel better."
Sydney nods "Thanks for coming by Dad." She watches as her Dad walks out of the room. She closes her eyes taking a deep breath. 'I should tell him... but I can't. Things between Dad and Sark are strained enough. He would probably blame Sark for the miscarriage. Maybe I'll tell him one day... maybe.'
TBC…