Alright guys, here is the next chapter, what you have all been waiting for...the story behind The loss of April. It's not all here, I wanted to keep you hanging but this is it for now. THe story is comming along fast and at this rate I may be updating once every 2-3 days so keep your eyes pealed. Italicized in this chapter is flashbacks.

I DONT OWN RENT-I JUST WORSHIP IT )

APRIL'S POV

I sat down in the chair; pulling Rachel close to me and stroking her light brown her. I could feel her body tense at the uncomfortable situation but she needed to be here, she needed to see the man who didn't want her.

My eyes met Rogers momentarily and all the pain came back, that day I lost him-how could I have been so stupid? How could I have ruined everything we had? If I had just followed my heart instead of my vices, I could still be with him right now.

I pushed through the door, following the steaming Roger to his room in the back of the loft. "Come on Baby, sweetie-It was once, I swear to you come on. Calm down." My voice calm and gently, mostly because I was high, but also because I was scared-I didn't want to start up another fight. Lately all Roger and I had been doing was arguing.

"FUCK YOU APRIL! IT WAS JUST ONCE DOESN'T CUT IT ANYMORE!" he shouted at me from the opposite side of the room, his temper flaring as he got up and moved towards me.. "Not when you keep doing it-April love isn't a three way street. You can't LOVE Ben and LOVE me too. Things don't work like that, not with me" His voice was strong, and filled with anger as he was right in my face now. I could feel his breath on my cheek, and the heat rising in his face.

Scared, I took a step backwards, bumping into the closed door behind me. "Roger, I-I needed the hit and he had it. Please understand that" I begged, moving forward again, placing my cold hand on his warm face. That was a big mistake.

"APRIL STOP IT!" his voice was fiercer now than I had ever heard it. He pulled my hand off of his cheek and walked me back to the door, pushing it open and walking me backwards into the main living area. "I gave up everything for you-my band, my health. Fuck-I started using because you said it would bring us closer, but you never wanted that did you. You just wanted someone else to buy your vices so you didn't have to." He stopped talking, one single tear falling down his rough cheek. My rocker was crying-something I had never seen.

"I loved you April, but the love isn't there anymore. Get out of my house, and don't you EVER come back. Do you hear me? I don't want to deal with you ever again. You're a slut, a dirty filthy whore. Get out"

His words pierced my heart like a dagger, and I felt myself dying on the inside. He had broken up with me, and kicked me out-all in a matter of 10 minutes. My eyes searched his deep green ones for a sign of compassion, anything I could pick up on-but all that was there was fire and anger. "Alright Roger-you win" I said defeated, my heart broken to pieces and my vision a blur as tears formed. "Goodbye" my voice forced out as I walked to the door and exited, not bothering to turn back.

ROGER'S POV

I watched her uncomfortably, waiting for her to talk, but startled when she finally did. "Remember that night Roger-you know the one I'm talking about. The night you kicked me out because you found out I was fu-" I interrupted her, not wanting Mimi to hear what had happened. I had never truly filled her in on the reason for the break-off between April and I. All she knew was April had died.

"Yes I remember that night, What about it April. Don't fucking beat around the bush alright. I never wanted to see you again and frankly, you showing up at MY loft late at night, while I am spending time with my fiancé, that isn't my idea of a surprise reunion." My voice was low and filled with hatred.

Mimi looked at me and finally spoke up. "Do go on April, why did he kick you out?" she asked, giving me a hard glare as she was starting to put pieces together. I wrapped my arms around her tighter, kissing her forehead, but she shivered and tensed more as I did.

"Why thank you, Mimi was it. I believe I will" she said and shot Roger almost the same glare. "Well things happened after you kicked me out. Ben and I took a turn for the worse"

APRIL'S POV

It had been a week since Roger and I had ended things, on a bad note too might I add, and I was staying at Bens place. After confessing my "love" to him, just because I needed to feel what I lost with Roger, we were officially claimed a couple. At that point he told me to get an HIV anti-body test, in case something ever happened during our sexual encounters. Although I didn't feel like going to the hospital, knowing that by taking my blood they could see the recent smack trips, I went anyway-only to receive results I wish I hadn't.

"I'm sorry Ms. Erikkson, but you're HIV+. " My doctor said with a sigh handing over a bottle of medication which I would soon learn to love, Azido-Thymidine, commonly know as AZT. Although I didn't know what the drug did per say-the doctor informed me I would need a beeper, set to go off ever 4 hours on the dot, and that's when I would take one of the 400mg capsules. I nodded my head in response when it hit me.

"Doctor-um, " I stuttered not wanting to know the answer but knowing I had to. "How long do you think I have had this for?" My eyes not locking with his at all-just staying focused on the ground. He looked at me, I could feel his eyes, reading me like a book.

"Whoever it was Ms. Erikkson, they are infected too. From what our tests can tell, this has been in your system for a good few months now. Any unprotected or protected sexual intercourse, even needle sharing" he said looking down at my blood tests, "Would infect someone" My heart dropped and I nodded shaking his hand as I took the test and walked out. Not looking back once again. Now I needed to tell Roger, but how, he wants nothing to do with me?

I walked to His loft, knowing the way there with my eyes closed. I was chewing gum the entire way, a nervous habit of mine, although not very attractive. Raising my hand to knock on the door, I realized I couldn't do it. I couldn't live with the god damn disease. It prevented me from sex, from love-from moving on from the sorrow of Roger. I looked in my hands at the folded sheet of paper and I knew what to do. I spit my gum out, placing it on the door and pushing the anti-body report on it. "There" my voice squeaked out as I sighed. With the red lipstick I always carried with me I sprawled these words across the paper. "WE'VE GOT AIDS." And with that, I was off to do the unthinkable.

what does april do? R&R and maybe you will find out