Thousand Cliche Death

by Hounds of War

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Chapter 1

(Authors Note: Let it be noted that I DID NOT WRITE THE FOLLOWING STORY. It was written by a fanfic writer named Hounds of War. About four or five years ago, there was a comedy writer on who was known as Hounds of War. Now, Hounds of War wasn't well known by everyone, but he was always one of my favorite comedic fanfiction writers, and because I liked his works so much, I printed them off and showed them to my other Final Fantasy VII lovin' friends, who also laughed along.

But after a while, Hounds of War's account was deleted from I guess from inactivity. I loved his stories, and thought others would love them to, and because I missed his stories and the ability of sharing them, I wanted to share them with all the other people who never had a chance to have a good laugh at his stories. Enjoy!)

Hojo's Lab, where a battle is taking place between Cloud, Tifa, Red XIII, and Hojo.

Cloud: You'll never get away with this! Omnislash! (Cloud rushes at Hojo as everything slows down Matrix-style as hojo dodges every one of Cloud's slashes. Leaping into the air, Hojo moves one space to the left and Cloud comes crashing down, face first.)

Hojo: What's the matter, Cloud? Stuck?

Cloud (tries to get up, but his hair is stuck to the ground): Superglue! You..you..fiend!

Hojo: Fiend?

Cloud: (Shrugs)

Tifa: Okay, Hojo, now you're gonna--RED, STOP LOOKING AT MY BREAST!

Red XIII: Uhhh...

Hojo: FOOLS! With my new weapons, I shall banish thee to the realm of crappy, overused fanfiction plot devices FOREVER! (laughs mechanically as lighting crashes int he background) Damn! I've got to fix that roof. But first, behold the CLICHETRON 5000!

Tifa: Why is it 5000?

Hojo: Well..because..it...SHUTUP!

Just then, every other protagonist arrives

Vincent: My, my, professor, it certainly is...big.

Cid: #$#$$&$$ THIS LET'S JUST KICK HIS ASS AND GO!

Hojo: BANZAI! (Fires Clichetron 5000 at our heroes, banishing them forever into the realm of bad, overused plot devices, except Cloud.)

Cloud: Damn! (Tugs uselessly at hair)

TO BE CONTINUED