Thousand Cliché Death

By Hounds of War

Chapter 3

(Authors Note: Let it be noted that I DID NOT WRITE THE FOLLOWING STORY. It was written by a fanfic writer named Hounds of War. About four or five years ago, there was a comedy writer on who was known as Hounds of War. Now, Hounds of War wasn't well known by everyone, but he was always one of my favorite comedic fanfiction writers, and because I liked his works so much, I printed them off and showed them to my other Final Fantasy VII lovin' friends, who also laughed along.

But after a while, Hounds of War's account was deleted from I guess from inactivity. I loved his stories, and thought others would love them to, and because I missed his stories and the ability of sharing them, I wanted to share them with all the other people who never had a chance to have a good laugh at his stories. Enjoy!)

The spinning vortex between dimensions

Vincent: Ahh!

Barret: Fooo'!

Cid: #$#!

Tifa: More tea?

Aeris: Why thank you Tifa, I think I will have some more.

Everyone falls out of the wormhole and onto the stage of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'

Regis: Get off me. (Everyone gets off) Welcome to another edition of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire'! (Audience cheers) Our first fastest fingers question, which came first, the chicken or the egg? We'll give our contestants thirty seconds times up, and lets see..Barret, Vincent, and Aeris got it right. The correct answer was-

Commercial Break begins and ends

Regis: Welcome back to the show, and our first contestant of the night is Cid!

Vincent: But you just- (guard tranquilizes him)

Regis: So Cid, are you ready to play 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire'?

Cid: No.

Regis: Great! Our first question for 100 dollars is: What is z((+65/32)+the hypotenuse of 7x over the square of 2?

Monkey

Minkey

Kenny

Necky

Cid: YOU #$# THE UP GODDAMNIT AND GIMME MONEY!

Regis: Is that your final answer?

Cid: $ THIS PLACE I'M GOING TO GO TAKE A GODDAMN WHIZ! (Whizzes on a gaffer offstage)

Gaffer: Sir, I don't think that-

Cid: WHEN I WANT YOUR # OPINION I'LL RAM THIS SPEAR UP YOUR ASS YOU LITTLE BIZOTCH!

Gaffer: Yes, sir.

Cid goes back onstage with his pants down

Cid: So what were we talking about?

Regis: That's correct! Now for the one million dollar question. Who is Spain?

Why is Hitler?

I claim this land in the name of France.

Kookamungo!

All of the above except for A, B, and C.

Cid: How 'bout I ram this spear up your ass?

Regis: Congratulations! You're a millionaire! (Tons of gil fall on Cid, crushing him) That's all the time we have for today sooooo- (stops talking, tilts forward a little)

Vincent: Quick! Escape through that portal while that smelly gaffer is replacing the batteries!

Red XIII: What about Cid?

Vincent: Oh yeah. Let's dig him out, too.

After digging Cid out, everyone leaps into the portal

CONTINUED TO BE