Thousand Cliché Death
By Hounds of War
Chapter 8
(Authors Note: Let it be noted that I DID NOT WRITE THE FOLLOWING STORY. It was written by a fanfic writer named Hounds of War. About four or five years ago, there was a comedy writer on who was known as Hounds of War. Now, Hounds of War wasn't well known by everyone, but he was always one of my favorite comedic fanfiction writers, and because I liked his works so much, I printed them off and showed them to my other Final Fantasy VII lovin' friends, who also laughed along.
But after a while, Hounds of War's account was deleted from I guess from inactivity. I loved his stories, and thought others would love them to, and because I missed his stories and the ability of sharing them, I wanted to share them with all the other people who never had a chance to have a good laugh at his stories. Enjoy!)
Everyone falls out of the portal and onto a movie set
Director: People! Can we PLEASE try and get this right? Where is Aeris?
Assistant: She's still in her trailer, sir. She refuses to come out. Something about the pistachio nuts not being in season.
Director (rubs forehead): Why must this happen to me. (Spots Aeris) You!
Aeris: Me?
Director: No, the girl behind you.
Tifa: Me?
Director: Yes, you! You're perfect! You look exactly like her!
Tifa: Like who?
Director (under breath): Idiotic bimbos…(normal voice) We're shooting FF7, The Movie! Look, the woman who is playing Aeris won't come out of her trailer, so we need you to stand in for her! You're her exact double!
Aeris: Hey, what about me?
Director: And you are?
Aeris: Aeris!
Director: Uh huh…Security!
Cid and Vincent take Aeris away
Aeris: Cid! Vincent! How could you?
Vincent: Hey, they let us use the snack bar.
Later
Director: And…action!
Sephiroth jumps down, trying to kill Aeris but misses
Sephiroth: Ah! Cramp, cramp!
Director: Ugh…
Later
Director: Take seventy-nine! And…action!
Sephiroth jumps down and tries to kill Aeris but gets tangled in the wires
Director: Screw this! I'll just pay for the damn computer special effects.
Nerdy programmer: Hah hah! I knew you would come crawling back to us! Ah hahahahhaha Cough cough (takes out inhaler)
Meanwhile, on the set of the A-Team reunion special
Mr. T: That be da shit foo'!
Barret: Word up foo'!
Back on the set
Director: Okay, in this scene, Cloud-
Matt Daemon: Yo.
Direcotr: Will execute Omnislash on Sephiroth.
Tom Cruise: Gotcha.
Director: And…action!
Tom Cruise: Prepared to die, Cloud?
Matt Daemon: …………Cut!
Director: For the love of…okay, Matt, what's wrong?
Matt Daemon: I just don't know, I can't seem to get the feel of this character. I mean, what's his motivation?
Director: Avenge his dead girlfriend, prove himself as a man, SAVE THE WORLD! What more motivation do you need?
Matt Daemon: Stop yelling! (Runs crying to his trailer)
Director: … (pulls out revolver, shoots himself in the face)
Giant portal sucks everyone up
Barret: NO! I don't wanna go, foo'!
TO BE CONTINUED
(Unfortunately, Hounds of War never finished this fic, so we leave with the idea of what fic could possibly be next. God help us. Lol. Hope you enjoyed!)