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South Park
Alcohol is Bad!
(Kenny's POV)
Part 3
"Have you ever lusted after someone you shouldn't?"
You are asking me that? I mean, obviously, that's why I'm here right? I have issues, right? Well, I guess I've always been one to try everything at least once. Probably why I end up dying so much. At any rate, I suppose it would be lying to say my preferences are totally straight. I mean I do work in a strip club, and I do get off on almost anything. And it would be lying to say that I have not thought of sex with my friends. God, I hope they never hear this. . . if you really want to know, I personally think both Stan and Kyle have hot asses. . . Cartman's just a fat ass. . . 'sides, he's my best friend, I don't want to fuck him, it would be too weird. . .
Stan's Big Birthday Slash. . I mean Bash
I took off my hoodie and set it in the chair I had occupied, and slipped my t-shirt off over my head, and picked up Cartman's beer. "One-hundred dollars. You got it on you?" I asked before stepping away from the table. He held it up in response, his grin growing just a bit wider. I nod and take a swig of his beer, and sauntered off to my target, smirking at Cartman, who wasn't all too happy with me for taking away his beer.
Kyle was getting it on with the blonde girl he had been flirting with earlier, or rather, she was giving him the lap-dance to end all lap-dances. I could have gotten off just watching them, but I had more important things to think about like one-hundred dollars.
Stan was so hammered, he didn't even notice me coming back towards his table. "Hey handsome," I said quietly, using the most seductive voice I could muster. Stan looked up at me with a faint smile, "Hi," he said finally. I moved around in front of him and straddled him, staring down into his eyes that were so intoxicated right now, I could almost swear he must be seeing a girl on his lap rather than yours truly. He ran a teasing finger along my naked chest, and I moved closer, my excitement growing, as I could feel his was too.
Stan's finger's laced through my hair as he pulled me closer, our lips only centimeters apart. I felt his hand drifting down along my back as he drew me in and our lips met. It was only brief, tentative and experimental, but electrifying just the same. His lips were different from any girls lips I've kissed, probably because it lacked any sort of lip balm, and they were drier, and not as full. I moved forward again, catching his mouth in a more full kiss, gently prodding at his mouth with my tongue until he let me in. He tastes like the beer he had been drinking, and something else I didn't recognize. I moved slightly, pressing my hips to his, eliciting a deep moan from deep in his throat. The hand he had drifting along my back found my ass and stayed there. He responded by returning the motion rather than throwing me off. My God, was he good at this! And here I was thinking I would get killed, pounded, or at least be dry humping someone a little more reluctant.
I rocked my hips in turn with him, his hand firmly on my ass. Soft moans, and murrs of excitement came between us as we moved together. The thought of doing this without the nagging clothing that prevented us from touching was freely rolling through my perverted mind, and I was only faintly aware of what was happening around me. I reached down, my hand traveling across the front of Stan's pants, causing him to hiss with pleasure as I pressed down, massaging the lump that was present there while still rocking. I also wondered if it would be wrong to suggest getting a room.
"Mmm, Kyle?" Stan moaned softly, his blurry blue eyes settling on mine.
I blinked, "Kyle?"
Stan's eyes widened a little as he focused on me, studying my face as though it were some sort of alien thing. "Kenny," he finally murred softly.
"Kenny! What the hell are you doing?" Stan and I both looked up at Kyle, who looked both disgusted and thoroughly pissed off. I swear, his face was almost the same shade of red as his hair! "Get off of him now!"
I obeyed reluctantly, pulling myself from Stan's embrace. "Dude, it's not what you think," I started, but was cut off by a punch to the face.
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Cartman was walking to my left, looking over his digital camera, "that was fucking schweet Kenny. You wouldn't believe how fuckin' schweet it was, 'cause your poor little mind can't comprehend it."
"Tell that to my bruised ribs, and swollen eye," I muttered softly, though my words were lost in his ranting. Kyle, evidentially, went all psycho on my ass. I couldn't really remember, my head was hurting too much to think straight. Cartman had told me though that as soon as I had gotten away from Stan, 'Kyle jumped me, and beat the shit outta me'. I believe it, every part of me ached, and I was pretty convinced he kicked me in the nuts at least once.
". . . and now I have the perfect start to my website!" I heard Cartman finish off, and I looked over at him. "What website?"
"Website? Who said anything about a website?"
"You did Cartman, what website." I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Oh it's nothing more than a page of stuff. . that will eventually lead to ten million dollars!" he boasted, grinning proudly.
"Ok, go on," I said.
"Ok, fine. Listen, I found a goldmine on the internet, a sure fire way of getting all kinds of money really quick."
"E-bay?"
"No, better than E-bay. Chicks."
"Chicks on the internet? Dude, it's called porn."
"No, no, no, no, no. Just shut your cock-suckin' mouth and listen to meh hnyeah."
I shut up and stared back at him for a moment before he stared again. "Money from chicks. I found out chicks dig porn just as much as guys. So, I created a web site to give them just that. Sick-fetish male porn!"
"What?" I yelled out.
"I said shut up and listen! I figure, if they want it, I might as well give those hoes something to get hot for. And the best part is, they can't get it unless they pay me to get into the site!"
I stared at him, "that's sick dude. . sick and wrong. You shouldn't have to pay for porn."
"Oh, but you do. You know you do. Oh, and I already have some kick ass web shots to put up on the site," he added, holding up the camera.
"You're going to put that online?"
"You bet yer schweet ass I am!" Cartman boasted.
"I'm gonna kill you Cartman!" I yelled and launched myself at him. He moved effortlessly out of the way and took off across the street for his house. I got up out of the snow and took off after him, but half way across the street, I was nearly blinded by bright white lights, and I froze. The last thought to pass through my mind as the snow plow ran me over was that Cartman still owed me one hundred dollars.
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Part 4 will be up soon! Let me know what you think!