Title: Noesis
Part: 1/1
Author: Raven

Disclaimer: Yu-gi-oh is copyright of Kazuki Takahashi. I got this idea randomly while listening to 'Noesis" by Gackt.

Notes: In phenomenology, noesis is an act of consciousness. "Thinking", "loving", "hating", "imagining" are all verbs applying to what minds do. One would never call "loving" a belief, because it is something you do, not something you merely hold to be true. (Wikipedia)

'The road to hell is often paved with good intentions.' When Yugi first heard that saying he shook his head at how pessimistic it was. He was never a moody person and tried to always look on the bright side of things, but it was hard to find anything bright about walking down the halls of a psychiatric hospital. He followed the nurse slowly, not looking forward to arriving to their destination. He shouldn't feel this way, he told himself, but it was so hard not too when he knew that he would find there. Vacant eyes foggy from medication had hunted Yugi's mind for weeks now and he had a feeling that they would continue to do so for weeks to come.

"We're here." The nurse's soft voice broke through Yugi's thoughts.

Yugi swallowed down his fear and opened the door. He had already broken so many promises, he would not break this one. The room wasn't like what one would see in movies, in fact it looked more like a hotel room than one of a hospital. The carpet was a light tan colour, there was a single dresser and a bed…Yugi felt his throat tighten as he stared over at the occupant of the bed. His dull eyes were gazing blankly at the ceiling and the only movement he made was the steady rising and falling of his chest as he breathed, Yugi noted that this time his arms and legs were free from the straps that now hung loosely from the bed.

"Yami?" Yugi winced slightly at how loud his voice sounded in the silent room and deep down he wondered why he bothered to speak at all, Yami hadn't said a word since that day. He walked slowly over to the bed and gently took hold of one Yami's hands, although Yami was medicated Yugi didn't want to move too fast and frighten him. "Yami?" Yugi whispered this time as he slowly rubbed Yami's hand, praying for a reply.

Yami slowly blinked a few times but that was all the response Yugi received, no smile, no 'hello aibou'; nothing. Tears threaten to spill over, but Yugi refused to break. He couldn't, he had to strong…for Yami.

The nurse watched the scene from the doorway with a sad look. This had been a daily ritual for weeks now, ever since Yami had been admitted.

"Would you like me to get a wheelchair?" She asked, doing her best to smile. "It's a nice day outside and the air might do him some good."

Yugi nodded, his eyes not leaving Yami's form. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." He reached over to brush Yami's bangs out of his face. "You would like that, huh Yami? I bet you hate being in this bed all the time."

It help Yugi a bit to talk to Yami as if the other could really understand and answer back. He could hear the nurse walk away to fetch a wheelchair and he sighed, petting Yami's hair. He was alone, although Yami was laying right in front of him, Yugi knew he was alone and trapped in a nightmare he had made into reality.

It was with the best of intentions that led Yugi to look for a way to free Yami from the confines of the Millennium Puzzle, he wanted Yami to live again freely, not simple using borrowed time from Yugi. He remembered those nights talking to Yami's almost translucent form telling his other about all the things they would do together, truly together, when Yami received his own flesh and blood body. They had made a list of all the things Yami wanted to do, so much of that list was simple everyday things that people took for granted. Yugi had promise that they would do them all.

"Yugi?" The nurse said kindly and he looked up to see her standing next to him with the wheelchair. Getting Yami into the chair wasn't hard, he was like a lifeless rag doll and once they got him taken care for the nurse left them alone. As Yugi pushed down the hallways his mind wandered back to the day that should have been a wonderful day for him and Yami.

"Are you sure about this aibou?" Yami stood before Yugi, semi-transparent as always.

Yugi smiled back, not letting any worry show. "Trust me Yami. I promise you nothing wrong will happen.

The former pharaoh nodded, returning Yugi's smile. "I trust you aibou."

'The road to hell…'

It was the screaming that made Yugi's eyes snapped open. Yami laid on the floor, now solid, tearing at his face. Yugi quickly rushed to Yami's side, yelling out to him, begging to know what was wrong. When he received no answer he reached down to grab Yami's hands and in a flash Yami pushed him away and crawled into a corner of the room. His eyes were wild like an animal, watching Yugi as if the other boy was going to attack him.

"Yami, please it's me." Yugi said desperately, take a few steps closer. "It's Yugi. Don't you remember?"

The only answered he got was panicked screams.

'…is often paved…'

Yami was admitted to a local psychiatric hospital and after all the tests the doctors still weren't sure what was wrong. The only thing they could do was keep him medicated so he wouldn't hurt himself. For the first few days Yugi couldn't being himself to see him, couldn't bring himself to see the hell he had condemned Yami to.

'…with good intentions.'

Yugi wheeled Yami out into the hospital's garden until the cement walkway met the grass. "It's so nice out today Yami, lately it's been so cloudy." Yugi said softly as he removed Yami from the wheelchair, Yugi leaned against a tree as Yami's head rested in his head in Yugi's lap.

Yugi watched Yami's face, hoping for some reacting to anything, but as always there was nothing. "Somehow we'll make it through this Yami." Yugi whispered as he stroked Yami's hair. "I prom…"

He couldn't finish those words, he couldn't look down at those empty eyes and offer empty promises. Yugi took in a shaky breathe, willing himself to keep his tears inside. He would be strong for Yami's sake, he would find away to free him from his new prison.

"I c-can't…" Yugi's voice was so close to breaking. "I can't promise that things will ever be the same again. I won't, it would be a lie." He caressed Yami's face gently, hoping that Yami could understand him. "But I do promise that I won't give up on you. No, I swear it." He leaned down and kissed Yami's forehead softly. "I swear I will never give up on you."

Yami gave him no answer, but in the back of Yugi's head he could hear a faint 'I trust you aibou.'

Fin: September 26, 2006, 10:43 PM