Extreme! Kingdom Hearts II Interview!
With your host: S&C44!
And no, I don't own anything related to KH except a copy of the game. Which I haven't played in fucking MONTHS because I let someone borrow it and they still haven't given it back…don't worry, my friends, I will kill them for it if I must.
Oh, and as a side note, I apologize to the people I am about to offend…but it's really all just in fun, don't hate me for it. Thank you
My queer intro song:
This is my interview! With who? The KH two crew! Woo-hoo! All the other interviews blew…mine is something new! Cast members just for you!
God, I need a new song…
Interview Number Two: Tron – It's a good thing Bush isn't in this game…
S&C: "Welcome again fellow KHII nuts! Your host Stupidandcontagious here with another cast member interview. This time instead of a lying, robbing little black bastard, we have unofficial gay celebrity Tron here all the way from some computer in Radiant Garden!"
/A little applause from the 20 people now seated in the audience, some holding "Go Guest!" signs showing a stick figure beating up a crude drawing of S&C. Tron walks out in his glowing one-piece jumpsuit, glaring\
S&C: "Welcome, Tron! One thing before we start, I hired a bodyguard for this time. Actually, I got him out of jail. So if you try to take a swing at me, Enrique here will kick your ass. And probably rape it too, it's been a while since he's had a woman, and we all know you wish you were one."
Tron: "Stop with the homosexual jests, please. I was merely showing my appreciation in a way I thought Users normally did."
S&C: "Suuuuuure you were. You might wanna go sign up with the Catholic priests now that you're out of that computer. You'd fit right in with their gig."
Tron: "What?"
S&C: "Nothing, let's move on. /Shuffles through note cards\ "So Tron, what was it like working with the famous KH crew?"
Tron: "Oh, it was wonderful-"
S&C/cough\Ibetitwas/cough\
Tron: "Did you say something?"
S&C: "Nope, please continue."
Tron: "As I was saying, it was thoroughly stimulating. So many new feelings were introduced to me for the first time. Sora, Donald and Goofy are the best friends a security program could ever want. …Are you functioning properly?"
S&C/Choking, almost crying and red-faced from trying not to laugh\ "Yep…" /wheeze\ "I'm fine. Let's just move on to the next question. Now that the game is over, what do you plan on doing in life?"
Tron: "Oh, I was just planning on making a new, improved security system designed to keep out data like the MCP."
S&C/Muttering\ "Yeah, cuz you have too much estrogen to do it yourself…"
Tron/Stands up and yells\ "Listen, damn it, that hug was in the script! I do not have sexual feelings toward young boys!" /Takes disc off back and hits S&C with it\
S&C: "Ow! Motherfucker- Enrique! And don't forget, next week if I get the right fishing lure, we get to talk to the vile vixen of vocals, Ariel!"
/Enrique, a huge Hispanic man in a black shirt that says "SECURITY" on the back grabs Tron and drags him backstage where blood-curdling shrieks can be heard across the room. Everyone in the audience cheers as S&C takes a bow and exits in the opposite direction. Very quickly\
