Here's a fic I wrote while I was bored and hyper during Humane Letters. I thought it up during church and when they say "whoever drinks the blood of Jesus will live forever" or something like that…..
If you get disturbed by Jesus being depicted as a white player, then you should probably leave….
One day Buffy decided to go to church because she felt Godless in her life. So she went.
"Oh God," she said while kneeling at a pew in an empty church aisle. "I feel Godless. And lonely. I wish someone was here right now."
"Okay," said God.
Just then Angel walked in, struttin' down the church aisle.
Buffy blinked. "Muh? What the hell are you doing here, Angel?"
"Psh, I don't know. God told me to come."
"But you're a vampire. And aren't vampires……. Evil? And hate God?"
Angel glared. "Hey that's mean! I love God! I love Jesus! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesuuuuus….. I love him so much…. I …could…eat … him!" Angel started to drool.
Then God slapped Angel. "You will never see my son! Or eat him!"
Just then Jesus walked in, struttin' down the church aisle.
"Yo! Wassup mah homie g's? How y'all doin'? Chillin'?"
Buffy stared. Angel drooled. "Can I eat you?"
Jesus smiled. "Sure thang mah brothah! Wanna live forevah? Then drink some o' mah bloodah!"
Angel started hyperventilating. "Fo-fo-fo-forever?"
Jesus smiled again. "Ye-yah, babeeey! Along wit me!"
"But you already live forever, asswipe," said Buffy very rudely.
Jesus frowned, good mood gone. "You are a very cruel person, Buffy."
Buffy just stared. "You! … you know my name! JESUS KNOWS MY NAME!" Buffy was so happy she died.
"Yay!" Angel clapped for Buffy's death and rushed over to drink Jesus' bloodah. But he got so excited he began to get a seizure.
Then Jesus died.
THE END
sorry so short. maybe i could make it longer with reviews? Eh? Eh? i'll shut up now...How'd y'all like it? Stupid? Drop me a review and make my life worth living………! cries