hope you all are enjoying this so far, and are satisfied at least with the revelation of the last chapter! felt so good to final type those words from Steve's perspective! all your comments have been so wonderful and I am so grateful! just don't expect any other revelations or confession anytime soon. you should know by now, nothing is ever that easy...
"You sure about this?"
"As sure as I was the last time you asked two minutes ago, yeah," Steve huffs out with a quiet laugh. He would feel suffocated if it were anyone else. But with her, it is nothing endearing.
Liz hums uncertain from where she walks behind him, pushing the man in his wheelchair towards the AC-12 offices.
She had stayed at the hospital with him for the three days it took for him to recuperate, the doctors finally convinced he was ready to be discharged - although on orders he returns twice a week for check-ups and physical rehabilitation therapy. His parents had left the day before, happy to see their son conscious and confident in Lizzie's ability to take care of him as they had to return to their own work in London.
Liz had remained by his side the entire time when she could, almost scared if she turned away, even for a second, he would disappear and she would lose him just as she feared she would all that time he was lying in that hospital bed. Doctors continued to do blood tests and x-rays and other things alike, eventually moving him from the bed and to another room where they were to examine his physical ability after the attack. And she was right there, just outside the doors, waiting for hours as they assessed the damage.
Lizzie's heart almost fell to her feet as she saw him turn the corner, wheeled along by a nurse. He looks so sorry for himself - understandably, of course! But the relief to see him awake and alive - staring at her in the strange, yet endearing way he had done for the majority of the time since he had woken - was far more overwhelming than the concern for him being bound to a wheelchair.
Besides, Steve said the doctors told him it would only be temporary. A precautionary measure, if anything, just to see him readjust to consciousness and not aggravate any possible prolonged injuries. So she has nothing to worry about. Only grateful.
Steve's smile was more than enough assurance to her that things were going to be just fine. Just as he is looking at Lizzie now, grinning slightly over his shoulder up at her as she pushes him through the sliding door to the building, touched by her concern that he may be returning to work too soon after being discharged.
But Steve had insisted. He needs to get back to work. To get to the bottom of this. If anything, if it were not already before, it is personal now.
And he needs something to take his mind off the pain. And whatever other thoughts have been drifting through his mind since his… revelation about her.
Yes, burying himself back into the case would be a more than adequate distraction from dealing with those feelings. He will deal with those soon, once everything else is done. He will have to eventually, Steve knows that, no matter how terrified he might finally admit to himself to be. But all those feelings are burning so fervently under the surface, they will no doubt soon bubble over the top. And he wants to be in control when they do. It has to be right.
Now is not the time. He has hardly processed it himself. And there is too much at risk, too much to be lost for him to want to get it wrong. He could lose her. Lose everything.
But as Steve smiles up at her, seeing Lizzie grin back down at him before she turns to sign them into reception, he wonders how soon he will have to face up to it. It feels wrong to keep something like this from her. Transparency they said. Honesty. And looking at her now, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest. The beats reverberating around his chest. He does not know how much longer he can contain himself-
"Maneet!" Lizzie suddenly calls, smiling as the woman approaches them.
Steve watches as the woman smiles at Liz, her eyes then widening and smile faltering slightly as she lowers her gaze to him in his wheelchair. Steve drops his own gaze to the floor, his cheeks heating under the feigned unbotheredness of the woman's study of his condition. She is trying too hard to not notice. He had worried about this. How people would react, what they would think, if they would treat him any differently. All Steve wants is to get back to business, carry on as if he had never been brutally beaten and thrown down three flights of stairs and was unconscious for days and is now in a wheelchair- though he understands why his colleagues would be concerned.
But Lizzie hadn't acted any different. Only supported him by showing she was there, continuing as they normally would despite his condition. So why should he fear anything different from anyone else? Not like it matters to him anyway. No, only her.
"How are you doing, sarge?" Maneet asks him, the kindness in her concerned smile extinguishing the heat of his cheeks somewhat.
"Alright, cheers Maneet," he nods, unsure what else to say. His bones ache, his muscles ache, his head aches and because of the woman beside him, his heart too. But that isn't what matters. The case is what matters. Solving this. Ensuring no one else gets hurt. That the people he cares about - that Lizzie - is safe.
"Thanks for coming down to us," Steve continues, brushing off the way his mind keeps jumping to the woman beside him and making every thought about her, "Did you tell anyone else we are here?"
"No," Maneet shakes her head, "Would you like me to?"
"No, that's good," Steve nods, smirking slightly, "Just tell Hastings there is a guest that wants to introduce themselves to him. Kate too if she's here. I'll wait in his office."
He can hear Lizzie scoff beside him but shares a nod with Maneet who then heads to go back up the stairs to the AC-12 main office.
"So dramatic," Lizzie rolls her eyes, but he can hear the amusement laced in her tone. The way she gazes down at him with a small smirk on her lips tugs at his heart.
"I was almost dead and now I am in this thing," his own smirk turns into more of a devious grin as he gestures down to the wheelchair before looking back to her, "I have every right to be dramatic."
She nods, sighing with a smile as she begins to push him to the elevator.
"Sir, someone to see you in your office with Kate, if that's ok?" Maneet says as Hastings passes by her desk.
The man nods with a slight confusion creasing his brow, "Yeah, who?"
"He wanted to introduce himself, sir," Maneet explains, returning to her work.
"Oh, right," Ted continues on to his office, steeling himself as he approaches the door for whoever it may be inside. As he enters, a smile immediately finds its way onto his face, "Steve!"
The man is sitting in a wheelchair, grinning, as Kate sits beside him. Liz stands beside the pair, casually leaning against his desk with a small wave in greeting herself.
"I hope you'll forgive me if I don't get up, sir," Steve quips, the others in the room sharing a laugh at his wit. Ted relaxes slightly, having tensed seeing the man in the wheelchair but relieved he has not seemed to have lost any of his humour.
"It's great to see you but, you know, you really shouldn't have put yourself out like this," Ted shakes his head, moving forward to shake the younger man's hand.
"He insisted," Liz explains while folding her arms, though Ted can see her hesitance too, sure the woman would have preferred Steve to give himself more time to recover from his injuries.
"This isn't a social call, sir," Steve says quickly, brushing off her comment, "I'm returning to work."
Ted almost wants to sigh at the obstinacy of his tone and the hard-set look on his face. The Superintendent looks briefly to the other two women in the room, seeing them both shift slightly, evidently also concerned Steve is doing too much too soon after such a brutal attack.
"I've tried to tell him it's too soon, sir," Kate explains, Liz nodding beside her in agreement.
"Look," Steve starts, almost glaring at the women, irked by their worries, "I've had an assessment with occupational health and they've given me the all-clear to return to restricted duties."
Liz had not been at the meeting herself, Steve having said he would be fine and that she should go home to shower, eat and such. But he had assured her the doctors were pleased with his progress, and what reason does she have to not believe him? She trusts him, completely.
"This is just a precaution," Steve says, gesturing to his wheelchair, "The doctors have said I'll make a full recovery."
Ted thinks it over before nodding and moving to sit behind his desk, "Great. Well, can't say that I'm not glad to see you. There's been a few developments since you've been away."
"Yeah, I've brought them up to speed, sir," Kate says as Liz moves from the Superintendent's desk to stand beside Steve, leaning a hand against the handle of the wheelchair.
Kate's relief at seeing her best friends entering the office earlier that morning was evident, clear by the huge smile that had spread across her face as she almost ran over to greet them. Her smile had faltered slightly, seeing the man being wheeled in, but she recovered quickly, knowing the last thing he would want is a smothering of sympathy. Not wanting to overwhelm Steve with questions about his condition, Kate jumped into explaining the situation with Huntley, how she had been called in for another interview only to swiftly turn the questioning back on them. Accusing Hastings and AC-12 of authorising Kate, while undercover, to tamper with evidence and induce the changing of testimonies. Saying there is a conspiracy between the AC-12 officers to pervert the course of justice in the actions brought against, which of course she believes are unfounded and intended to obstruct her lawful inquiries into the murders of the young women and Timothy Ifield. Huntley then presented Hastings with a signed authority from ACC Hilton recusing AC-12 from the inquiry into her, her team and other offences.
Kate thought Steve was going to scream the way his jaw and fists clenched when she told him that.
"Roz Huntley can't be allowed to mislead the investigation," Steve says, almost eagerly, as if excited to get back to work, "And ACC Hilton never said anything about not investigating Tim Ifield's murder or Nick Huntley's movements that night. If Nick Huntley's involved, we'll be the ones to catch him. And if he's involved, you can bet Roz Huntley is too."
Ted nods with a fond smile at the man's determination, "Well, what are yous waiting on then, the number 19 bus?"
Steve can't resist the smile that spreads across his face, "Sir."
Liz shares a look with Kate, somewhat amused but still concerned. She had known his intention to come back to the office had been to get back to work without him needing to say it. She knows him, knows how much he cares about his work. After everything, even just to keep his mind off things, all he wants is to get back to normal. To have something to distract himself. She is just the same. So she did not question it, despite her concerns for him and his injuries. Her suspicions were confirmed when he had asked his parents to fetch a suit from his apartment for him to change into. Liz had even offered to help him change, understanding how sore and tired he must be. She can't say she wasn't relieved when he declined, saying he needed to try himself, to prove he could do it. It saved her nerves from exploding from how much they were burning when she asked.
Liz goes to reach for the handles of his wheelchair but Steve puts a hand out, covering hers suddenly.
"I can manage," he says, almost pleadingly as he stares up at her.
Liz hesitates, uncertain, but she can see how desperate he is to prove himself to be alright. So she gives his hand a supportive squeeze before Steve lets go, straining as he begins to push the wheels of the chair himself. Kate opens the door for him, following behind as he wheels himself back to his desk, greeting his other colleagues with a nod or smile as he passes. Liz nods to Ted before following after, moving his chair out of the way so Steve can sit closer to the desk.
"Thanks, Lizzie," Steve says, to which she places her hand on his shoulder. He moves his hand to rest on top of hers again, unable to resist.
"Let me know if you need anything. I just want to catch up with Kate," Liz explains, reluctantly slipping her hand out from under his and walking away. Steve watches her as she goes, though catches himself and turns his attention to his computer.
"Hey," Liz says as she approaches her friend by the photocopier.
Kate smiles back, "How are you doing?"
"Not so bad," Liz says with a glance over her shoulder to where Steve is working, "He seems to be on the mend, so that's good."
Kate almost wants to laugh, to call her friend out for once again referring to Steve when asked about herself. As if her wellbeing relies on his. Steve does the same. It is cute.
But she can see how tired Liz looks, still. Not quite as drained as she had looked at the hospital. But her eyes, though less bloodshot and more focussed, are still encircled by exhausted darkness. Her hair remains unstyled, hanging almost limply against her face, as if she has not given herself time to put any effort into it, more concerned for the man and helping him than herself.
"How about you?" Liz asks, "Everything alright?"
Kate seems to hesitate, gaze dropping to her feet, before saying convincingly, "Yeah, fine."
Liz deflates, trying to catch her friend's eye. She knows, for her to be here and from what Kate had explained to herself and Steve when they arrived, that Kate's cover as DS Flynn was blown by Huntley, but is not yet sure of the circumstances. Kate seemed to be keeping something from them when she had spoken earlier, Liz had noticed.
She takes a gentle hold of the woman's upper arm, linking it with hers and pulling her swiftly in the direction of her office. Closing the door behind them and pulling a seat around the desk to sit in front of where Kate now sits, a hand raking through her hair, Liz sighs, "What happened?"
It is Kate's turn to sigh, "Huntley saw me asking too many questions about the evidence and statements made by her team. Both in the Balaclava case and Ifield's murder. She's clever, worked it out. Called me out for it in the interview, on the tape, while accusing all of us of planting evidence and corroboration claims against her."
Liz shakes her head, "That's not on you, Kate. Like you said, she's clever. She's twisting things for her own benefit."
"I know, but she- Our chances have been blown. We are now ten steps behind," Kate huffs, Liz's heart aching as the woman starts to tremble.
"That is not your fault. Don't blame yourself."
"No, it's not that," Kate denies, though Liz is sure the woman is doing just that, "It's just that she- she knew things. About me."
"What do you mean? What things?"
Tears start to waver in the woman's eyes, "She knew about Josh. That I don't get to see him so much. I don't know how she can know that."
Liz feels her heart drop, reaching out to embrace the woman who is trying so hard to stop herself from crying. That isn't something Kate does, no matter how much Liz assures her friend to feel comfortable to do so in front of her. So she can see how much this has unnerved her. Not only mocking her failed undercover but also reminding Kate of her personal situation.
Kate returns the embrace, wrapping her arms around Liz's shoulders and allowing herself to breathe for a moment.
Liz does not know the full extent of the personal situation Kate is struggling through involving her husband and son, but she understands - as it would be for any mother - how difficult it must be. To her surprise, when the two women pull back from the hug, Kate begins to speak.
"Mark only lets me see him once every fortnight. And they are controlled visits, at the house with him in the other room," Kate explains, sniffing as she looks to where her fingers fiddle with each other in her lap, "And I know it is my fault after the... affair. And that should be good enough. That I can see him at all, but-"
Liz reaches a hand forward to rest on Kate's in her lap, encouraging her to continue. Kate Fleming was not someone who so easily revealed all she was feeling underneath her harder exterior. It is what made her so good at espionage, Liz always thought. So she is touched, as she has been on the few occasions before when Kate has confided in her. It is one thing to be honest with your friend when you are pissed off at someone or a situation, or when you have suspicions. But to own up to your own fear and fault - that shows a real sign of trust. One that Liz hopes Kate knows is shared. Absolutely.
"But I miss him," Kate cries, "So much. And this case, the undercover work- I thought it would help to distract me. That this job makes me feel like I can make up for what I have done, do something good. But I have missed spending time with Josh because of it. I am losing my son."
Liz reaches for the box of tissues, offering them to her friend while keeping her hand in hers. She had hoped things were on the mend between her and Mark, that he would understand what her career requires her to do. That hours can overrun and stresses can take over. He should be there for her. He had pushed her away with the pressure. But then again, Liz cannot deny Kate had been in the wrong with the affair. While she cares for her friends, it is a difficult situation to advise on. There is nothing she can do, and something Kate needs to work out for herself. Liz just hopes she does not break herself down in the process. That she allows herself space and time, between work and home, to breathe. And Liz will be there whenever she needs her in whatever way she does.
Kate wipes her eyes, sniffing as she continues, "To have it shoved in my face like that. By someone like her- it's all just too much."
"You should request some time off," Liz suggests, softly, "Steve's back now, and things have slowed. I am sure Ted would understand."
Kate shakes her head, suddenly sobering, "No, I am too involved in this. I need to see it through, and wouldn't be able to take my mind off it. Besides, I don't need to give Hastings any other reason not to promote me."
Liz balks, sitting back, surprised by that comment, "But you're one of his best. He always says you and Steve are his top team. You've proved yourself more than worthy on more than several occasions. Would you like me to talk to him?"
"No, Liz, please. It's fine," Kate refuses.
"Why do you think he wouldn't promote you?" Liz asks, too curious not to.
Kate shakes her head, tears having stopped, "I don't know, He's just been off with me. I have asked to go for a drink sometime, like he does with Steve, but he refuses."
Liz listens, confused by her godfather's behaviour.
"Roz, she, uh- she made some accusations during her interview," Kate says, sheepishly.
Liz frowns, prompting her to continue.
"Questioned Hastings about how many detectives of the rank of inspector or above he has investigated in the last five years, and pointed out that two of the three have been women. So 67% when the proportion of females in those ranks is only 10%," Kate explains, Liz continuing to frown as she reflects on the statistics.
"But you have also persecuted other males of higher ranks, including Fairbank last year," Liz considers, "AC-12 investigate regardless of gender, race or other factors."
"That's what the gaffer said, saying we are only interested in one thing, bent coppers," Kate huffs a short laugh at the familiar catchphrase, before turning serious once more, "But Roz questioned that, saying Hastings once referred to her using gendered language. Called her 'darling' at Ifield's flat last month."
"Christ," Liz mutters, her head falling into her hands, disappointedly. She remembers the conversation they had about that, with Liz explaining to him why some can find it offensive to be referred to using such terms. That it seems he is making a point of their gender when it shouldn't matter at all. They should have known this would come back to bite him. That Roz Huntley was clever enough to use this against him.
God, what the hell is going on with this case? Kate in tears, Hastings in trouble, Steve in a wheelchair - she's not sure how much more any of them can take, herself included.
So much for distancing yourself after what happened before, Elizabeth. You got too close. Too involved. And look what happened...
"She also said our branch falls under the national average for women in high ranks," Kate says, somewhat reluctantly, "And it just got me wondering- I just worry that-"
"That Ted is a sexist?!" Liz exclaims, disbelieving, looking up at the woman with squinted eyes.
Kate deflates, Liz immediately regretting her too-aggressive tone. She holds the bridge of her nose between her finger and thumb, trying to relieve the pressure that has been building there since Steve's attack. It doesn't work.
Kate shakes her head, "I don't. I don't think he is, not at all. But he didn't answer when Roz accused him of being a member of a masonic organisation."
A brief silence settles thickly in the air around them.
"A Mason?" Liz bites back a screech, "You think Ted is a mason?!"
As soon as the word has left her lips, Liz remembers the term having been thrown Ted's way once before. By Steve. Saying he had seen a masonic handshake between her godfather and Patrick Fairbank. Not much else had come of the accusation about this gesture. Until now.
"I don't know what to think, Liz," Kate says, understanding why the other woman would find this hard to believe, as she does herself, "I really don't know. There is so much to process at the moment, but I am just telling you what I heard."
Liz nods, knowing the woman does not mean to upset her. So she decides against panicking, against giving it any more thought until she has talked to him.
She clears her throat, "So, how do you think she knows all this? Where is Huntley getting her information from?"
"I'm not sure," Kate says, honestly, "It couldn't have been Buckells. He's been appointed to the Polk branch and knows I am there, what I am doing. Remembers me from the Gates case. But we managed to get him to stay quiet. And he wouldn't know such personal information on us anyway.*
"Then who?"
Kate looks through the frosted window of Liz's office, surveying the blurred outlines of the desks before lowering her voice, "Hastings and I think it is someone in the office. We are currently searching for who to email to get records of everyone's IT transfers."
Liz exhales, it rumbling deep in her chest down to her queasy stomach. This can't be happening, not again. Someone - one of their own - leaking things and working for the other side, whoever the other side actually is.
"Just don't tell Steve," Liz pleads, unsure what else to say, "I am sure he feels enough eyes are on him right now. Last thing he needs to know is one of them could be malicious."
Kate can't help but smile slightly at that, even despite the severity of the situation surrounding them. Always thinking of him.
"Beth, sweetheart, how are you doing?" Ted asks as he catches up to her in the office as she makes herself a tea.
She strains to not visibly cringe at the affectionate term, especially after the conversation she just had with Kate. But reminds herself he has always used little nicknames like that with her, and it is sweet really. So she turns and smiles, "Not bad. Just glad Steve is back and doing well. Tea?"
The older man shakes his head politely, "He's a very lucky man to have you there for him like that."
Liz feels her stomach twist uneasily, unsure why she still seems to blush whenever someone talks to her about the man, "Well, he's my friend. I am sure he would do the same for me."
Ted nods, seeing her cheeks redden as she fixates back to stirring the mug in front of her, so decides against saying anything to embarrass her. But he is sure Steve Arnott would do the same. They would both move heaven and earth to assure the other is safe and happy. And that's special.
He had once thought himself and Roisin were the same. That nothing could come between them, their love for each-other stronger than any external force that may try to tear them apart. Turns out he was wrong.
But these two… Ted has hope. He is not quite sure what is between his goddaughter and the Detective Sergeant; friendship (as she says), trust, love? However, he is glad she has him, and him her. They deserve it.
He just hopes neither of them make the same mistakes he has.
"How about you?" Liz asks, "I heard the interview with Huntley didn't go to plan?"
Ted sighs, feeling a headache coming on. He knows she knows, that Kate likely explained everything. But, as she always does, she wants to hear his side of the story too. Unfortunately, he is too stubborn of an old man to want to discuss such an embarrassing matter.
"No, it didn't," he settles on, shifting his weight and folding his arms to indicate he doesn't want to speak any further about it right now.
Liz notices and understands, so decides against pushing. There is plenty she wants to ask about. The possible leak in the office, Kate's lack of promotion, the Masonry accusation.
But she knows now is not the time. Not stood here in the office kitchen, especially with the revelation there must be a leak in the unit. Anyone could be listening, exploiting them for more private information.
Ted shakes his head, stressed, "And everything on top of that, with Nick Huntley and his lawyers and now Maneet-"
"Maneet?" Liz asks with a curious frown.
"She handed in her notice. She quit."
Liz feels her uneasy stomach drop, "What? What were her reasons?"
And why didn't she tell me?
"Said she felt drained, that things were getting on top of her," Hastings explains.
Liz thinks it over, sympathising for the woman, "But so soon before her maternity leave? She only had a few weeks. She won't be entitled to her maternity pay now."
Ted just shrugs, "She asked not to tell the team, not wanting a fuss. The timing couldn't be worse. I need all my best people. But if her mind is made up then there is not much I can do."
Liz nods, though does not quite believe it. She doesn't think that sounds like Maneet, to just leave without saying goodbye.
Something isn't right. Then again, nothing is.