disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns them, not me. Not yet.

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Zoe walked the hallways late at night sometimes. It had nothing to do with being lonely (absolutely nothing, screw you Jayne), she just did. It was comforting to oversee Serenity without the possibility of walking into River holding Jayne in a headlock or Kaylee telling her that they needed seven hundred parts for the engine or they would all fall out of the sky. The quiet was just nice. On this night, though, there wasn't as much quiet as Zoe would have hoped for. Simon, Jayne and Kaylee were teaching River (against Mal's wishes) how to shoot craps. She had picked it up really fast. As Jayne put it, she could be cheating street thugs in a week. Zoe passed the common room quietly, not wanting them to know she was there lest the invite her to corrupt the teenager.

"Do you guys want to hear something odd?" Simon asked.

"Of course," Kaylee said brightly. "I'm always up for interesting stories."

"Well, I was looking for River earlier so I checked the bridge and Mal was in there sleeping."

"That's not weird," Kaylee told him. "He does that a lot."

"That's not the weird part. As soon as I saw him and that River wasn't there I was going to leave, but he said something so I stopped. I thought he was talking to me, but then he said 'Zoe'. Well, she wasn't there and his eyes were closed so I think he was still asleep."

"I didn't know cap'n talked in his sleep."

"Well, how often are you with him when he's sleeping?"

"Good point."

"Well anyway, he kept mumbling and I couldn't understand what he was saying, but… he said "I want you' or something like that."

"Oh!" Kaylee squealed. "Oh my goodness! He said that about Zoe?"

In the hallway, Zoe rolled her eyes. Oh please, Simon. You may fool Kaylee but you won't fool me.

"He thinks of her a lot," River said suddenly.

"Who?" Jayne grunted.

"Mal. He thinks of Zoe a lot."

"So?"

"I care," Kaylee protested. "Are you sure? You mean, he thinks of her like… that?" River nodded proudly. "Oh," Kaylee gasped. "Do you think he likes her?"

"Like, yes. Absolutely." The dice stumbled across the floor and bounced off Jayne's boots. "Seven."

Zoe held her breath, listening for more. This couldn't be right. River was on her side. She wouldn't be saying those things just so she, Zoe, could overhear them. That wouldn't make any sense. But if she wasn't just saying those things, that could only mean they were true, and that was too much for Zoe to handle right now. She felt like her head was going to explode. Could it be possible that even though Mal had laughed at the idea of the two of them together, he really held feelings for her? How gross. And yet, there was something interesting about it she couldn't ignore.

"Zoe's listening!" River whispered loudly, her voice urgent. There was a scrambling of seats and feet as everyone tried to look innocent. Zoe peeked her head around the corner.

"What are we talking about?" she asked, trying to sound cool.

"Nothing," they all chimed, except River who said "You." Jayne gave her a nasty glare.

"Well," Zoe said, not sure exactly what to say. "Okay." She continued on her way, puzzled on top of paranoid.

Everyone in the common room exchanged wary glances, letting Zoe's footfalls become silence.

"Think she bought it?" Simon asked quietly.

"Without a doubt," River said confidently.

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Kaylee decided to bother mal bright and early. "Captain," she said cheerily, "I got a question for ya."

"No," he said right away.

"But I didn't even ask."

"And I'll bet the answer's no anyway."

"Well, it isn't even a yes or no question, so there."

Mal rolled his eyes. "All right, fine. What is it then?"

"Do you think Zoe is prettier in blue or brown?"

He paused a moment. "No," he said at last.

"Come on, captain."

"What kind of question is that?"

"One I need an answer to."

"Well I don't know."

"Think about it. It's important."

"Why is it so gorram important?"

"Because," she said, becoming exasperated, "I'm making her something. I want to sew her a pretty dress, and Simon knows how to make patterns and I really want to because all she wears are pants and she should look pretty once in a while, don't you think?"

Mal sized up the mechanic. "Wait, now I've forgot the question."

"What color would make her look pretty?"

"Blue or brown? I dunno, either, I guess."

"You think she's pretty in both?"

"I… well… what is this, you trying to help out Simon and Jayne?"

"Captain, please!" Kaylee folded her arms defiantly. "All I did was ask ya a simple question. Weren't no need to get all snippety at me."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Okay then."

"So which is it? Or are ya gonna yell at me again?"

"Why can't you ask River?"

"Because River said she'd be pretty naked, like God made her."

Mal laughed uncomfortably. Well, God had certainly known what he was doing when he'd crafted the naked Zoe. Thinking about it made him blush, so he turned away from Kaylee before she could see. "Ah… well, I guess blue cuz she already wears a lot of brown. I guess."

"Yeah, you're right. I never noticed that about her before." She smiled secretly. "Thanks, captain."

"Sure." There was something in Kaylee's voice he did not care for. It was like she had a secret that she wasn't sharing with him. Mal didn't like being kept in the dark. But really, how could Kaylee not have known Zoe wore brown all the time? She always wore that leather vest, and she was a natural tones kind of person. Dark, sophisticated, simple colors were Zoe's style. And then it occurred to him that that was more than he should know about her or should ever care to know. Damnit. "Don't you have something to do?" he snapped meanly, not meaning to but his mind was reeling too fast right now.

"Uh huh. Got a dress to sew." She skipped off, smiling her secret smile. She met up with River in the corridor. "I think I did it," she gushed. "He seemed real edgy about it. But he's thinking about it, I'm sure."

"Uh huh. Deception is fun."

"Not deceivin no one, River. Manipulating. There's a difference."

"Manipulation is fun."

"You're right on there."

Simon happened by, looking troubled. "Hey, have you seen-"

"Jayne's lifting weights," River answered for him. "He's sweaty and tensed."

"Oh… kay. Thanks, River."

"You think about him a lot more than I thought you would."

He blushed deeply. "What? No I don't, what do you mean?"

"You watch him lifting weights. Up, down, up, down, muscles tense, release, contract, relax, breathe in, out, hard, sweaty work-"

"Stop it!" he pleaded. "Enough. I wasn't watching him, I was spotting him because he made me."

"Watching."

"Spotting."

"Watching."

"Spotting!"

"Watching! Watching his body move, listening to his breathing, does he always get worked up like that? Or just when you're around? Why does he call you woman, beibei? Can't handle looking at another man in a delicate, soft, loving way?"

"What? River, no, stop it! Please!" He put his hands up to his ears. "Stop."

"He's thinking about you. Where's Simon? he asks. Up, down, He should be here. Tense, relax, Bet I could bench press him. Breathe in, out, Lift him over my head. Hold him over me. Hold him under me. Hold his mouth-"

"Stop it!" he begged, running off, hands still clamped to his head.

Kaylee giggled. "Was Jayne really thinking that?"

"No. He's counting right now. But he skipped numbers eight, sixteen, forty, and fifty four."

"Well, you did a good job telling Simon-"

"All numbers are divisible by eight. Does Jayne know? Is it a code he's making, trying to confuse me but I have to break it because if he wants to hurt the ship hurt Simon hurt anybody I can't-"

"River, stop!" Kaylee grabbed the girl's shoulders. "Jayne's just a bad counter, maybe. Wouldn't be a code. I promise."

River nodded, trying to slow down her brain. "We can sew now, okay?"

"Of course we can. But no counting the stitches and trying to find out if it matches the number of cells in your body or whatever."

"It was a sign," River informed her haughtily. "My socks have forty nine thousand threads, I have forty nine thousand sixteen hairs on my head. It means something."

"Sure does," Kaylee agreed, taking the young girl under her arm. "Means you count too much."