A/N: This chapter is so beautiful to me. I hope you'll find yourselves enjoying it as much as I have... Some parts of it may be hard to follow, especially when following Sasuke around. Everything that's in italics is either a flashback or a thought. I trust the reader enough to know the difference!
The Sound of Pain: Chapter 8
After giving a complete report to the Hokage of the survey done on the Uchiha compound, Sakura, Shikamaru and Neji were released for the night. They all take different paths to head back home and none of them can deny the sense of foreboding that surrounds them when they split up.
Hyuuga Neji has always been very sensitive to what can't be seen. His intuition is so finely honed that he can feel ghost thoughts hovering around teammates even without activating the byakugan. He wonders as he heads back to the Hyuuga district whether Sasuke's sharingan permits him that same connection to the unseen. Can Sasuke feel the spirits around the Uchiha compound? Can he tell what others feel?
The sharingan is fundamentally different from the byakugan, yet it stems from the same root. Neji wonders how it would feel to know what other people will do before they do it. He wonders if the byakugan could compete with the sharingan. He wonders if he could win against Uchiha Sasuke. He wonders if knowing of someone's betrayal in advance makes any of it easier.
The Hyuuga prodigy feels bound to the Uchiha, even though they never really knew one another. Neji feels like he and Sasuke have a lot in common. Revenge against the main house has driven Neji to become the best, and likewise, revenge against his brother has driven Sasuke to strive for excellence. Neji doesn't make excuses for Sasuke's actions, but he doesn't consider his departure as a personal betrayal. Perhaps because he's never been close to the boy, perhaps because he's felt the same urge to leave everything that feels warm behind just to avoid being hurt.
Sometimes, when everything is silent in Konoha and the dead of night rings emptiness, Neji watches the moon and wonders how much self-inflicted torment one can subject themselves to. He thinks on the Uchiha and he wonders what's happening to him in Sound. He wonders if he would ever be stupid enough, or desperate enough to make the same mistakes as the Uchiha.
Neji thinks the Uchiha needs to be saved and protected, no matter how badly he'll fight against it. Someone needs to tell him that it's okay to be hurt, it's okay to be angry and it's okay to be loved. Hyuuga Neji wonders if Naruto will tell him that, or whether he'll reach his limit before he gets the chance.
Naruto has always defended Sasuke's honor around his teammates. He's always fought to prove that Sasuke wasn't a traitor, that he's a great fighter and that he's no weak coward.
Neji wonders whether Naruto knows how angry he is with Sasuke. How his words about Sasuke always sound like he means to hurt back. He thinks not. The boy is always oblivious to the most important hints when it concerns himself.
In the end, Neji thinks that Sasuke's fate will forever bring him much more pain than he deserves, even if his choices earn him pain enough. It makes Neji glad he's not as stubborn as the Uchiha.
As Neji turns the corner to the street leading to the Hyuuga district, his keen hearing picks up a suspicious muffled sound. The villagers are all inside and most are already sleeping. This noise stands out from anything else. It's irregular and discreet and soft.
Frowning, Neji turns to where the sound comes from and begins to investigate. As he walks between two houses, he can identify the strange noise a little better. It sounds like softly hitched breathing, not crying, but definitely something hurt.
Immediately on his guard, Neji activates his byakugan to scan his surroundings. It takes him half a second to locate the source of the sound. Behind a large dumpster, curled up on itself is a small chakra pattern. It's a child.
Neji sets his white eyes on the shape and walks closer. His byakugan recedes and Neji can see the little girl as more than shaped chakra. Her blond hair is dirty, her hands tightly bound together with wire and her knees and elbows show hints of blood. She's twisting her wrists, trying to escape the bonds but only succeeds in digging the wire deeper in her flesh.
The Hyuuga prodigy slowly approaches her and stops her fidgeting motions. His hand covers both of her wrists and the girl looks up at him with wide brown eyes. Neji notices that she's a very pretty young girl, but something about her feels off. Her thoughts are further away, removed. Neji can hardly sense a presence in her body.
"Calm down, young one." Neji's fingers work on releasing the bonds, then soothing the marred flesh of her wrists. "What's your name?"
The girl blinks at him. Twice. Her eyes are fixed on him and suddenly, she smiles, content and carefree.
Neji tilts her chin up to look at the injury on her cheek, "Where are your parents? Who did this to you?"
The boy's touch is careful and gentle and the young girl's smile recedes, her eyes shimmering with tears. It's almost like that single hint of kindness is enough to bring her to tears. Neji doesn't really know what to do with her, so he figures he might as well bring her to the Hokage so they can figure out what happened to her.
"B... Bijin." The word is so soft that Neji would have missed it if he'd not been paying attention.
"Bijin? Is that your name, young one?"
The smiling nod is enough of an answer for Neji and he nods, "Alright then, Bijin. Where are your parents?"
The girl shakes her head, seemingly frustrated with him and she pouts. A few seconds later, she whispers, "Find moon?" like a distant memory just came to her. Biting her lip, she looks up at Neji with hope-filled brown eyes. "Help?"
Neji blinks at the girl's words but he doesn't otherwise comment. He holds out his hand for the girl and she she hesitantly reaches to take it, her little hand sliding into the Hyuuga's palm.
"Help." Her tone is firm. She's decided that Neji will help her.
So the Hyuuga leads her out of the alley and back to the Hokage tower.
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Haruno Sakura is fighting the heavy weight of disappointment as she heads back home. She'd so hoped to find Sasuke, to save him. Sakura isn't blind, though. She's also very smart. She'd have to be both dumb and blind not to see that Naruto's endless devotion isn't just for the sake of his promise to her. It's not for the sake of saving a mere rival.
There has always been a connection between Naruto and Sasuke that Sakura never had any business in. The boys' rivalry and their anger and their passion. Sakura can't take any part of that. She can't be comfort to Sasuke's loneliness. She can't soothe his anger, can't tame his passion. She can't match any of it. It makes the girl feel more rejected than any of Sasuke's cold words could have.
She doesn't want Naruto to find Sasuke first. Something tells her that if she doesn't find him first, she'll never have any chance of being there for him. No one will show him the way out gently and with endless patience. Naruto, she decides, doesn't have what it takes to take care of someone as beautiful and fragile as Sasuke can be.
As Sakura nears her house, she notices two things. The first is the smell of freshly baked cake, the second is a slightly ajar window. Frowning, Sakura unlocks her front door and quietly steps inside. She sees the pastry on the kitchen table with a neatly written note from her mother that she should eat more. Smiling fondly, Sakura heads towards the open window in the living room and shuts it.
There. Now the house will finally get warmer.
Sakura walks to her room and lies down on her bed, her arms and legs spread to take up as much space as possible. She frowns as she feels something wet on her right hand. Bringing the fingers in front of her, Sakura blinks at the sight of blood. Did I cut myself or something?
There's no trace of injury on the hand, and not that much blood on the mattress. It takes another second and Sakura springs up from her bed, running back to the window. She grabs the edge and pulls it open, watching the blood stained wood with shocked, horror-filled eyes.
Heart suddenly pounding in her ears, Sakura runs to her parents' room and tears open the door. She drinks in the sight of the both of them sleeping, breathing peacefully. When she feels satisfied with that, she realizes that the blood probably comes from Sasuke himself.
He'd come here?
It has never even occurred to her that the boy would choose her house as somewhere to hide. Sakura didn't even think he'd remember where she lived... but that's sort of silly when you think about the fact that Sasuke is an Uchiha, with a near photographic memory with or without the Sharingan.
She can't feel his presence lingering around the house. She hadn't even noticed the blood. Feeling like smacking her large forehead, Sakura starts to methodically survey every room in the house. Her racing heart makes calm thinking difficult, so she starts to hurry through the search process. When she lowers the staircase leading to the attic, she takes a deep breath to calm herself. She tells herself she won't find the boy dead in her attic. He'll be fine, passed out at worst. He'll be alive and okay.
Shouldn't you be on your guard? He may be dangerous.
That thought has Sakura biting her lip as she reaches in her weapons' pouch for a kunai. She takes each step up slowly and carefully, senses on alert. All the danger in the world doesn't stop Sakura from shutting her eyes as she's finally high enough to see into the room.
Come on, you can do it. Just open your eyes.
With a deep breath, Sakura looks around her to the discarded pink dress, left over scrolls, but no Uchiha. But he was here. He really was.
Sakura gathers the blood stained scrolls and the blood-covered dress. She picks up the bloody bandages and the blood-filled clothing.
So much blood. There's so much of it.
One part of her mind is slowly panicking, but the rest of her calmly folds clothing, scrolls, dress and bandages, then starts to investigate in detail everything around the area. She doesn't miss a single clue and when she's satisfied, she heads back downstairs and to the Hokage tower.
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"Sasuke... Sasuke, wake up."
The voice is soft and quietly hushed, but the urgency is undeniable. Sasuke can hardly feel his arms and legs, the only thing he can make sense of is his heartbeat. There's no up and down, no pain, no fear, just a dull thud-thud-thud...
"Sasuke please... they'll be back soon. Wake up!"
It's the voice of a boy, a blond-haired, blue-eyed child who is still breathing because of Sasuke.
"Sasuke!"
The sound of his own name grates on Sasuke's nerves enough for him to force his eyelids open. There's the child. Scared little thing is out of his wits, tugging at Sasuke's limp hand uselessly like it's the only thing he can do.
"Sasuke..." with tears.
It smells like relief. Sasuke grunts as he regains use of his tongue. "Hikaru... run. Leave me here and run. I'll be fine."
"No... I can't. Please. Get up."
Sasuke couldn't stand if his life depended on it. Which it probably does. He does grab the child's arm firmly and shakes him. "Do as I say, boy. You don't want to defy me."
Teary blue eyes look straight into Sasuke's black ones and Sasuke can't deny the feeling of protect that overwhelms him at the sight of desperation. 'Naruto...'
"Now, boy."
Finally, finally a nod answers him and the child wraps small arms around Sasuke's neck. Sasuke feels like crying. He feels like giving up and just die here. "Just go, Hikaru."
Sasuke didn't know his own voice could sound so soft, so lost, yet so firm.
The boy sobs, just once into Sasuke's neck, then he stands on shaky feet and runs away. Sasuke watches him go, feeling the threat approaching steadily and he just hopes that Hikaru will find someone somewhere to help him.
Sasuke watches the small silhouette growing smaller and smaller in the horizon. He shuts his eyes against the child's scream when a sharp kunai lodges itself in his back.
"Did you really think he would escape, Sasuke?"
-
The wounded boy shakes his head clear of the memories, only to have his vision swimming again out of focus. He doesn't know where he's going anymore. He'd started out with a goal in mind, some safe place to reach. Some place home. But Sasuke figures he must've gotten lost when his head started to spin, when his muscles began to feel like jelly.
His hand is wrapped around his middle and blood is seeping through the cloth to his arm. Sasuke thinks blood loss is a very stupid way to die.
-
"Do you know why jutsus become lost, Sasuke-kun? Do you know how they become those infamous forbidden jutsu?"
"I don't know the exact reason behind it, no." Sasuke is sitting in the middle of other Sasukes, reflections and shimmering images.
"A jutsu becomes forbidden when it becomes too dangerous to use without honed skill and knowledge. For example..."
Two men are introduced to the room, more reflections to go around. One of them is small, compact and his hair is an unusual light blue. The other is tall and thin, and Sasuke can see his lips painted red like a girl's.
The snake forms seals, so fast that Sasuke's sharingan is the only reason he catches them.
The tall man suddenly bends over, grabbing his stomach and biting into those too-red lips.
"I am using this man's chakra against him. Attaching it to my own pattern and stealing it from him. It takes very precise control, or the alien chakra will burn your own. This technique is the basis of many, many others. How to shift other people's techniques against them, even as they're casting it."
The snake's voice is cold and rational. The man writhes on the floor in agony.
"Are you purposefully hurting him?" Sasuke's own voice is cool but there are cracks if you pay attention, which Orochimaru certainly is.
"Yes. I can do this painlessly. But you won't be able to." A hand gestures to the blue-haired man, "Try it."
Remembering the seals, Sasuke forms them and instantly feels the other man's fear. The stench of his chakra is suddenly drawn to Sasuke's.
"Balance."
Sasuke puts up a mental barrier between his chakra and the other nin's, balancing one against the other.
"Match it."
It's a strain, but Sasuke can tell which part is up and which part is down in the shape of the other man's energy. It's an instinct, and nothing he could ever possibly put in words, but fitting the shapeless chakra to his own is almost effortless. It reminds Sasuke of the chidori. To alter the shape of chakra, to shift its nature. The two most powerful jutsus.
The man begins to scream with the pain, but Sasuke doesn't hear him. He can taste his chakra, the added power, the easily controllable strength. Sasuke moves a hand forward and strokes through the fascinating sight of chakra mingling together, his own purple-black one thoroughly dominating the smaller, greenish tint of the other man's.
It feels intimate, like mating should feel. Sasuke feels connected to the other man in a way he hardly ever has to anyone. He wonders if he could talk to the blue-haired nin. Wonders if he too needs to kill Itachi.
"Enough."
But Sasuke doesn't want to stop. It reminds him of all the good things he's had in his life, his mother, Kakashi, Sakura... Naruto...
"I said enough!"
A slap across his face snaps him back to earth and Sasuke blinks to reality to find the blue-haired man on the floor, just a small cloud of white smoke rising from his limp body.
I killed him. The thought is striking and Sasuke suddenly can't breathe. His body slumps of its own accord to the floor. I killed him.
"It looks like you have a natural talent for that sort of thing, Sasuke-kun. Don't worry, you will recover soon enough."
But Sasuke is staring into the open eyes of the man he just killed, and he whispers, "No."
-
Snapping back to reality, Sasuke finds himself in front of a building he knows all too well, but it's nowhere near where he was supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to walk here. He needed to get home to his mother's ghost.
Yet without his accord, his body moves to the staircase on the side of the building and Sasuke is climbing. His breathing is slow but shallow and the thud-thud-thud rings loudly in his ears.
His feet have a destination and the memories have weakened Sasuke's will to a point where he can't find it within himself to turn back, go away, leave, just listen to me and save yourself.
Instead, he slides through the open window and lies down on the bed. What little blood is left in his body begins to seep into the mattress of Naruto's bed.
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Naruto has already been to Sakura's house and without even entering, he saw the fresh blood on the windowsill. His worry climbs another notch and he has to force himself to take deep breaths to calm down. From there, it gets harder to follow Sasuke's tracks, so the boy heads to where he knows he'll find Sasuke.
Whether it's some instinct or just a hint of fate, Naruto knows that now is the time. Now's the time for them to meet again. Please let it be enough. Let me be enough, this time.
He stops in front of his apartment and hesitantly climbs up the stairs on the side of the building. He's following Sasuke's steps, he knows it. There's a splotch of blood on one of the steps giving it away, but it's not what makes Naruto shiver. Be there, just please be there.
When Naruto looks through his window and sees the dark shape on his bed, deathly still, his heart gives a tug and for a moment, he just doesn't know what to do. He can't see the boy's face, but he knows it's him.
For what seems like an eternity, Naruto stares at Sasuke's form from outside his window. Anger and relief and fear and fuck, I do love him, even after all that.
Sliding into the house, Naruto reaches a hand out to turn Sasuke on his back, but stops just short of touching him. What it he disappears? What if you're just dreaming? What then?
Fingers hover just millimeters away from touching the black-haired boy and Naruto takes in a deep breath when he decides to close the gap. He'd expected it to be a dream, so when his hand closes on a real shoulder and he can turn the boy over to watch his face, Naruto gasps out the breath he'd taken. Sasuke's presence is strong enough that Naruto knows he'll be alright, with care. His injuries, whatever they are, won't bring him to his death.
Part of him notices just how much Sasuke's grown. How much older, how much more beautiful he looks. The other part of him wants to mar that beauty. Grasping the shoulder more firmly, Naruto shakes the boy. Anything to make him react.
Sasuke's eyes snap open and he reflexively strikes out, knocking Naruto's hand off him. Somehow, that single gesture is enough for Naruto to see red, anger pulsing hotly in his body. FuckfuckfuckfuckyouUchiha!
The dark-haired boy freezes as recognition dawns. He can see the red in Naruto's eyes and it's wrong, so wrong, but at the same time, so right. Of course Naruto's angry. He has every right to be. He should reject Sasuke, should get revenge, hurt him back, something...
Naruto growls at Sasuke, grasping his collar, "Why are you still running? Are you back just to leave again?"
Whatever strength is left in Sasuke's weakened body goes to his fingers wrapping around Naruto's hand. The contact is electric, even under those circumstances and it makes Sasuke smile. He wants to say he's sorry, wants to say I've missed you, you've changed, I don't care anymore. But he doesn't. His black eyes lock onto Naruto's red ones and just the fact that they're red and not blue is rejection enough.
"Baka." It sounds so affectionate that Sasuke wants it back.
Naruto clenches his teeth and releases Sasuke's collar, watching the boy slump down to the mattress. "No. You're the idiot. Did you really think I'd want you back?"
Sasuke shuts his eyes against those words. Naruto wants to see the pain in his eyes. He wants to see that Sasuke understands. He wants Sasuke to hurt just as bad as he's hurt Naruto. The anger comes from some place Naruto doesn't understand. Pain. It comes from pain.
The Uchiha's eyes are still shut. He can't control the pain in his body, in his heart and his soul. Somehow he'd still hoped... Foolish little brother... that Naruto would... You don't deserve it... forgive.
Naruto watches Sasuke closely, and despite the fact that part of him was screaming to hurt the boy only seconds before, he can't take it. Naruto can't force himself to hurt Sasuke any more than he already is. It hurts him just as bad to see Sasuke in pain...
Naruto's eyes shift back to blue, all of his anger gone as he watches Sasuke try to curl up against invisible pain. He feels the burn of tears at the back of his eyes and he just can't take it. Naruto whispers, "I didn't mean it... please stay..."
Naruto doesn't give Sasuke time enough to recover from that, he takes the boy's chin in his hand and bends over him. I'll prove it to you. I'll win. I'll show you. There's nothing you can do to make me give up on you.
Slowly and gently, Naruto presses his lips against Sasuke's. He knows he's crying, but it doesn't matter. He carefully coaxes Sasuke's mouth open and slides his tongue inside. The kiss is soft and caring, a reunion and a promise. It lasts long enough for Naruto to stop crying, lasts long enough for Sasuke to feel his pain receding ever so slightly.
When they break apart, Naruto's smiling and Sasuke refuses to open his eyes. The dark-haired boy mumbles, "You're such a moron, Naruto."
Grinning even wider, Naruto replies, "Yeah, I am."
With a last snort, Sasuke wraps an arm around Naruto's neck, bringing him close in an unconsciously needy gesture, then promptly passes out.
tbc...
Did I mention just how much I love that part? -sigh- so sweet. Finally.
Some replies:
Nyeh: I hope that was worth the wait! And yeah, you were right. -sticks out tongue- Sakura's house was a fairly hard guess so congrats! Oh, and the angst isn't done. -points up- Sasuke has a lot of memories from Sound to deal with. But shyeah, Kiba has been kidnapped by Ren. THAT is going to be fun to write, hehehe. Thanks, and stay tuned!
Jenanien: I sorta like Ren. I think his desperation is his most striking point. He just needs, y'know? Kiba's interaction with him will definitely be worth the read. -wink- As to the little girl... well that will soon be solved. She's being brought to Tsunade now. But if you want a hint, we've glimpsed her before. -g-
XxHunter The One and OnlyxX: Funny thing, just as you wrote that last review, I finished that last chappy! Lol! Glad to see you're still with me!
Lapse - Raevn: I think Sasuke has a very strong character and too much weakness to be a proper Uke. -wink- But look at that... -points up- that was kind of SasUke-like. I am impossible glad that you enjoyed this characterisation of Sasuke. I've always seen the boy this way, with all of his blindness and all of his weakness and still a strong influence, strong character. -nods- Oh! And endless thanks for your comments about my style because I keep doubting it. I don't know if you caught that detail but my first language is French. So I question it and question it and I might be a little bit of a perfectionist. Little, little bit. -blows kiss- thank you, and keep reading, heh?