WARNING!

This chapter is rated M, if you don't like reading things like this than skip ahead to the chapter. -Lauren

Chapter 17.5

"Nervous?" Susannah asked, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"If I were anymore nervous I think I'd have a heart attack" I responded without thinking.

"Me too" she replied before lightly pressing her lips against my own.

At first things were soft, careful even, but after a while my hands explored the wonder that is Susannah's body. Her hands too decided to roam and her warm palms caressed my chest. Eventually our tongues broke free of our own mouths and went into each others'. As the kiss deepened, I could feel Susannah relaxing, and her body pressing into mine. Suddenly my under shirt was torn off me, and before I even realized it, I was pressing Susannah back against a wall. Cautiously her legs wrapped around my waist, and that's when I truly understood how something could be both beautiful and sinful; a way to bond, and a way to break free.

Words spewed out of my mouth, and I hardly even know what I was saying, but Susannah didn't seem to mind. She pressed herself closer to me, and that's when I carried her over to the bed. 'If we're going to do this, I want to do this right.'

"Everything about this is right, Jesse. Now stop thinking and focus….ooohhh!" she half blurted, half moaned as I trailed kisses down her neck, and then her chest.

When I reached her lacey pink bra I looked to Susannah for permission, in a sense, and she urged me on with her eyes. Carefully I unhooked it, and then slowly removed it. For a few seconds my eyes focused, and saw only Susannah's beauty. She was absolutely perfect. Every inch of her was calling out to me, wanting attention, but it was her lips that won out in the end. Brief, gentle kisses every now and then reminded us of how pure our love was, and how right we are for each other. There's no need to slobber all over each other when you know the other person as well as we know each other; mind, heart, body, and soul.

"Jesse" she panted, arousing me even more.

"Querida, I love you so much" I moaned back.

"I know. I love you too" she breathed.

Slowly her hands made there way from my chest to my stomach, and then finally resting on the waistband of my jeans. I could sense her nervousness, but I also knew that we were ready for this; Susannah was ready for this, and believe me, I was ready for this. Her fingers, shaking slightly, relieved me of my pants and then my boxers. 'This is it. Don't panic de Silva, she loves you and you know this is right.'

Susannah seemed somehow entranced with my naked form, and her mind ran wild, echoing through my own as well: "Oh my gosh! Okay Suze, don't panic everything is going to be fine. Oh my gosh he's huge! How is all that going to fit? Okay, remember what Gina told you: 'concentrate on the good, focus on something small, some pleasure. And most important, relax completely. Let him ease in and relax, don't panic!' Okay, breathe Suze, breathe. Jesse will not hurt you, Jesse loves you, you love Jesse. Breathe; in and out."

"Querida, you need to top thinking so much; relax" I instructed her through ragged breathes.

"Sorry, I can't help it. It's just cause I'm nervous and all, I guess" she squeaked.

"Don't be, everything will be alright. Just remember that I love you" I reassured her, giving her a brief peck. She smiled gratefully and then reached over her head, grabbing the box of Trojans my cousin always has in his medicine cabinet. Carefully she removed one from the box and ripped open its packaging. It was when she slid the condom onto me that I noticed her hands had stopped shaking.

All that was in our way was Susannah's lacey, pink boy shorts. I gulped before gently tugging them down her legs and then tossing them onto the floor, along with all our other clothes.

Again I looked to Susannah for permission and she nodded gently, giving me a reassuring smile. Carefully I positioned myself, not wanting to mess up and look stupid. Then I slowly slid into her. She winced in pain and I started panicking. I started mumbling incoherently and began sliding back out of her.

"Querida, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have done it…Are you okay?…Ice; do you need ice?" I rambled.

"Jesse, stop. I'm fine, it's just a little uncomfortable. I can handle it, okay. Go back" she said pulling me down and back into her.

"I don't want to hurt you Susannah" I murmured, shifting my weight, so I wouldn't crush her.

"Jesse I knew this was gonna hurt at least a little, I'm fine, now would you stop trying to be all over protective" she replied.

"I'm not trying to be querida, but I can't purposefully hurt you."

"Wow…" she sputtered, her eyes looking glassy.

"Susannah, what's wrong?" I asked anxiously. 'Did I hurt her that badly? What if she's in a lot pain? How on earth am I supposed soothe her? What will even help that kind of pain?'

"No, Jesse it's not that" she said, quickly blinking her eyelids and looking up, trying to keep tears from streaming down her face. "It's just…you're more concerned about hurting me, even a little, than with just getting laid."

"Querida, you and your well-being are more important to me than just about anything in the world. How could you even doubt that?" I questioned.

"You're just so different…I never thought I'd be this lucky" she said, still blinking away tears.

"Susannah, if anyone here is lucky it's me. I have to be the luckiest guy in the universe" I stated.

"How can you think that at a time like now?" she asked.

"Because I'm with you, and as long as we have each other everything will work itself out" I explained, gently caressing her cheek.

Suddenly her tears fell freely and Susannah buried her face in my neck. She wasn't sobbing or anything, yet I hated to see her cry.

"No llorars mi amor" I cooed.

"Jesse" she whispered lifting her face from my neck and staring into my eyes. Slowly I rolled us back onto the mattress so that Susannah was now on top, and wrapped my arms around her. She rested her head on my shoulder for a few seconds but then looked back up into my eyes. Her lips met mine in a loving, and passionate kiss. I couldn't help but reciprocate the action, and soon my body was in control of itself. I felt Susannah moving dangerously close to my private area, but I did nothing to stop her. Instead I let out a moan of pleasure, which seemed to spur her on. I tried to protest, but the only thing my mouth could do was trail kisses over Susannah's body.

She paused to moan a little herself when I reached her breasts, but after a few seconds she continued scooting herself further down my body. When I switched to experimentally licking her supple breasts, she reached my thighs. Susannah spread her legs open, right above me. All I had to do was lift myself up slightly or pull Susannah down onto me. I hesitated; even though my mind had stopped functioning a while ago, I was still a bit hesitant about inflicting any sort of pain upon Susannah. She noticed my hesitation and before I could even think of telling Susannah not to move, she eased onto me.

I shivered in delight, and a flood of bliss washed over me. The next thing I remember I was on top of Susannah, mumbling some very inappropriate things in Spanish, and thrusting in and out of her. She looked so helpless under me, but at the same time completely happy. Moans and screams even, flew out of Susannah's mouth. After a couple more minutes of this, I felt a huge wave of sheer ecstasy overcome me, and everything around me was a complete haze. I felt weightless, and Susannah shuddered under me. I kept my rhythm and a few moments later Susannah let out a scream of pure pleasure, then went limp as a rag doll. I went to roll onto my side, and off of Susannah but she wrapped her arms around my neck and sighed "Please, just stay in for a little longer, I don't want this to end yet."

I smiled down at her and gently kissed her forehead. "Alright, but just a little while, I don't think it's good for you to have me in you for too long."

"Jesse, there are people that go at it for hours at a time, I don't think a few more minutes will do any harm" she said, before yawning.

"And you would know about people going at for hours, how?" I asked curiously.

" I went to a private, all girls' school back in Brooklyn. You'd be surprised at how much we used discuss sexual techniques there" she sighed contentedly, a small smirk appearing on her lips.

"Really? You didn't tell me you went to an all girl's school."

"You didn't ask" she replied.

"What was it like?" I asked genuinely curious.

"It was horrible at first, but after a year there, it actually wasn't all that bad. I mean, I had friends there and the classes were fairly interesting. Plus we had an all boys, brother school a few miles away. Not that they were extreme hotties or anything, but some of them were decent enough" Susannah answered, her eyelids looking as if they were extremely heavy and difficult to keep open.

"So, did you have to wear a uniform?" I questioned cautiously.

Susannah in return chuckled and said "Yes.; dorky plaid skirts and polos. I don't know why guys always ask that. Is it cause of that whole naughty school girl fantasy, or what?"

I smirked, trying to hide my blush and explained "I wouldn't know, but it's just a bit difficult for me to picture you in one of those plaid skirts, with the matching polo, and knee highs."

"Well, just wait till you meet my mom, she'll whip out the school photos so you can see for yourself" she yawned, and patted my cheek playfully.

I rolled onto my side, carefully easing myself out of Susannah, and moved her head so that it was resting against my shoulder. She in turn snuggled closer to me as I wrapped my arms around her middle and pulled one of her arms across my chest. I turned my head and planted a light kiss on the top of her head and whispered "I love you querida."

I felt her smile against my skin and she replied "I love you too Jesse."

A few minutes later I felt Susannah's steady breathing and realized she had fallen asleep. I moved some stray locks of her silky chestnut hair from her face and gazed at her. 'I really am the luckiest guy on the face of the planet. I can't believe she chose me. I can't believe we just made love. This is what my future is going to be like. I'm going to get marry this beautiful woman and make love to her all the time. She is going to be the mother of my children. I get to make babies with mi querida. Our children will be so beautiful. I hope they get Susannah's eyes, and her soft hair. I just know that if they look anything like Susannah, they'll be gorgeous. And they'll be so loved. Susannah is going to be a great mother. I can't wait to start the rest of our lives. I can't wait until tomorrow; another day I get to spend with Susannah.'

"Jesse, go to sleep. All your thinking is keeping me up" Susannah huffed mentally.

"I thought you were already asleep" I replied.

"I was, but I woke up when I heard you thinking my name" she muttered.

"I'm sorry, querida. Go back to sleep" I chimed.

"Oh, and Jesse…"

"Yes Susannah?"

"Thank you for thinking of me like that. I love you" she purred.

"No need to thank me querida, that's how I always think of you. And I love you too, now go to sleep" I said, curling the end of a lock of her hair around my finger.

"Okay" she yawned, "you should get some sleep to Jesse. I want to energizer tomorrow, not all tired and grumpy."

"Who said I was grumpy?"

"You get grumpy when you're really tired. Not like mean grumpy, you're just a little more defensive" she explained.

"When was I grumpy?" I asked trying to remember the last time I hadn't slept well or stayed up really late.

"You haven't been grumpy to me, but when I met CeeCee she called you to see if you wanted to go to the beach with us, and you were a little snappy on the phone" she mumbled, stifling a yawn.

"Oh" I replied blushing.

"I thought it was funny" she murmured, "now go to sleep, you're keeping me up, and if I'm tired I'll be really grouchy."

I laughed and said "Okay, sleep well, and sweet dreams querida."