Chapter Twelve: Don't Go...
Kagome's walk back to the Shrine was long and empty, her cold eyes watched the ground before her and with every step, her heart sank farther down.
'It had to be done...' she told herself 'This was the only way...he'd be safe.'
But the expression on his face...it would burn in her memory forever.
Before she even realized it she was at the Shrine steps. Looking up to her home, she saw the quaint and well-kept grounds. She memorized every path, every hall, every inch, knowing that she'd live here to protect it till the end of her days.
But that wasn't true anymore. She was being shipped off, a bargaining chip to unite their forces and destroy the demons that plagued them...for the good of man.
Once again she meant everything as a Priestess...yet she meant nothing.
As she began climbing, she was consumed with the idea of Inuyasha. Everything they shared, all the sweet words passed back and forth, the loving caresses...it was all true. She cried so hard in the forest that she had no more tears to shed.
She climbed to the top and rest assured the old Priestess was waiting for her there, Kagome didn't meet her gaze as she walked past her, but she did utter one harsh word before disappearing into the temple.
"Done."
Kagome walked through the empty hallways of the Shrine, she was seeping in anger, heartache, betrayal that she felt from her own family. It was all hitting her at once.
She turned the corner just before her room but stopped dead in her tracks.
Standing in his stoic like grace, was her Father. His posture was straight with his hands folded behind his back, his eyes were trained on her door, as though he were debating whether or not to proceed inside or not.
"Father?" her voice filled genuine surprise, made his head snap in her direction.
The man blinked a single time and regained his composure "Why are you not in your room?"
Kagome had to grit her teeth, his words were always so unbearably harsh. Who was he to question her in such a way?
Still, no matter how much she detested her own Father, she stated calmly "Went for a walk, I needed time to clear my head."
Tsume nodded and looked away as he said "I see..."
Kagome studied him for a moment, was he attempting sympathy? That was a first. Regardless, she wasn't in the right mindset to read into his character-change.
"Is there something you need me for Father?" she asked, not meaning it to come out so cold.
Tsume didn't answer right away, he looked back at her but this time his eyes were guarded as though he were wearing a mask over himself.
"Come with me."
With that, he walked back the way Kagome had come from. She remained still as he passed her, but she was unable to look him in the eyes.
She followed suit, keeping a good several feet between them.
Kagome didn't want to be anywhere near Tsume at that moment, but she couldn't defy him. Not only because he was her Father, but because he was the High Priest.
Soon they found themselves in the Main Hall, but Kagome recognized it as the trophy room. Along the walls were the mounted heads of terrible demons that were hunted down, as well as the weapons of fallen Priests and Priestesses.
Tsume and Kagome stood in front of the large wall and looked over the bows and swords. Each one represented a man or woman of faith that had given their lives in battle.
After almost three minutes of silence, Kagome finally asked "Why are we here?" But Tsume's eyes were trained on the wall.
"What do you see when you look at this wall?" He finally asked
Kagome sighed before replying bluntly "Old weapons for every life lost in a fight."
Tsume didn't even provide a side glance as he corrected "Yes...one weapon for every warrior's life...but what of the victims?"
Kagome blinked and turned to look at her Father, his eyes still held that guarded stare, but she knew true emotion lied within them.
"For every demon, we slay there are tens of thousands of lives they've taken. We honour the ones we've lost, but the victims of those evil demons cannot be placed to rest."
Finally, Tsume turned to face his daughter, the seriousness written on his face was pushing her to the edge.
"Kagome...there is great evil in this world and we must make every sacrifice to end it. Even if it means your have to make hard choices."
Kagome sighed again but nodded. She wanted to say 'It's easier to make a decision when it doesn't impact you', but that wasn't fair.
"We will be placed on the front lines in the battle to come, every demon will be destroyed in our wake, and we will eradicate their entire species, every last one."
This is how he saw them all. Demons as mindless beasts who are only driven by bloodlust. He could never understand that the ones in human form...the ones who are capable of compassion, of love...will be overlooked and thrown into the lot with the rest.
But all she could say was "Yes Father."
The room fell silent again, thinking that all had been said, Kagome bowed "I will go to my room now."
She turned to leave but was stopped the sudden hand the gripped her shoulder. Kagome stared at Tsume shocked, she looked at the hand that was connected to her shoulder, it was a gentle and caring hold.
She couldn't remember a single occasion where Tsume provided a loving hug, any inspirational words, or even the simplest touch a Father should give his child...but here he was, gently holding her shoulder and pouring in every emotion he had into the action.
His eyes were the same icy blue but he softly said "Just know...that you're honouring this Shrine, and you're honouring me as well."
Kagome's eyes began to water. As sad as it was, that was the kindest thing she had ever heard come from her Father.
She was tempted to lift her own hand to join his, but before she could the doors to the Main Hall were suddenly opened.
Tsume ripped his hand away from his daughter, removing the warmth and leaving a ghostly cold feeling in its place.
The pair looked to the door to find Sota standing. He would usually apologize for intruding, but he didn't utter a word, he looked with a kind of determination.
"Father, I must speak with you."
Tsume was just as surprised, but regardless he provided a stone-like exterior and asked "What ails you boy?"
Sota's eyes were stricken with a fierceness, he pushed the door completely open and strode into the hall like a person with nothing to loose.
"You refer to me as boy because I have not proven myself a man...isn't that true?" He asked, his strides growing to stomps that echoed through the Shrine.
"I am your only son...yet I have not earned my title nor my place in this Shrine."
"Sota!" Kagome barked, overwhelmed by the venom in his voice, but Tsume's arm shot out before her, effectively silencing her. His cold eyes were trained on Sota.
"What brought on this little discovery?" Tsume asked, his voice dripping with disapproval
Sota was now standing before his Father, his eyes were lowered but his hands were fisted. "Many things...I'm not as strong of fighter as others and I'm not a great exorcist or warrior...I've made mistakes that have endangered the village...and..."
His eyes shut to force the tears in his eyes back before stating "it was because of me...that little girl died."
Sota suddenly fell to his knees and bowed his head as he cried out "I intend to avenge her life, and to finally earn my title, Priest Stoa Higurashi..." his head lifted and Kagome gasped at the murderous look within them "...by bringing you the head of the Great Demon Sesshomaru!"
The shock and horror that was swirling inside of Kagome could have crushed her. Her heart was breaking, shattering into thousands of pieces as she watched her darling baby brother holding onto such a horrible burden.
"Sota...No!" Kagome dropped to her knees and took her brother by the shoulders, she shook him and force him to meet her eyes "You don't understand what you're doing! Sesshomaru is the Lord of the Western Lands in Demon territory...HE WILL KILL YOU!"
Sota looked at her coldly "Kagome I have to do this! For my honour, and...for Rin."
Kagome bit her bottom lip, he had to know, he had to know that Rin was alive and well...but how could she explain any of it...in front of her demon-hungry Father?!
She suddenly heard a soft chuckle irrupt from behind, turning she saw Tsume grinning ear to ear. "Finally. My boy is ready to become a man."
Sota sat up straight as he nodded sharply "I will hunt down Sesshomaru...and on my honour I shall not return until he is dead."
Tsume was ecstatic, joy leaping all over the cold man's face. "Good Sota, you are finally understanding what it is to be a Priest of this Shrine. I will give you my finest horse and as many provisions as you can carry, and will be eagerly awaiting your return, but if you do not, I will presume you dead..."
But then Tsume's grin died as quickly as it was born, he looked directly into Sota's soul and stated "because if you return and that demon still roams the earth...I shall kill you myself."
Sota's Adam's apple visibly bobbed as he nodded in agreement "Yes Father."
Kagome couldn't believe what was happening, in pure rage, she shouted "You would sacrifice your only son for honour?!"
Tsume's eyes flicked to Kagome, her concern for her brother's life was clear, but Tsume only scuffed and said "I wouldn't expect a woman to understand. Take pride in your brother, he understands to take action on his responsibilities."
Kagome wasn't bothered in the slightest by the backhanded comment, she only replied "So you're allowing a boy who has never even shot an arrow straight to hunt down a Demon Lord...For Honour?!"
Tsume was deadpanned as he stated with his words colder then ice "If he is incapable of killing demons then he has no place here. If the only honour he is able to bring this family is in his own death, then so be it."
Kagome was being strangled by the frustration "No! I will not allow this...neither would Mother!"
Kagome knew she was out of line, but she didn't expect to hit the floor so quickly. Her Father's hand shot out before she could even consider dodging the blow.
Sota gasped and lunged to his sister's side, but Kagome only stared back to her father, holding her injured cheek she could see the fury in his eyes.
Kagome wasn't afraid of him anymore because she had nothing to loose, she felt no pain in his strikes, she hadn't for a long time. The only pain that she felt resided in his heart, for the mere mention of his dead wife.
Kagome broke the connection and turned back to Sota "Why? Why would you do this?!"
Sota sighed, looking at the harsh red print that rested on his sister's cheek. "I'm tired of being weak Kagome..."
"So dying is your way of proving yourself?!" Kagome spat "I was no match for Sesshomaru, no one is, no one can kill him!"
"But I will!" Sota shouted back "Or I'll die trying! I can't live with what I did!" Tears broke through and stained his cheeks "She died because I couldn't protect her...Rin...that poor little girl. Killing Sesshomaru is the only way for her to rest in peace."
God, why was this happening?!
Kagome wanted to scream, she couldn't give away Sesshomaru and Rin's secret or every Priest in the west would be after them! She couldn't explain why she'd let them go, and she couldn't even tell them that Rin was alive! Sota was willing to lose his family, his life for a girl that didn't need to be avenged!
"Sota..." Tsume's voice sliced through the silence like a knife "You have my blessing, bring me that demon's head."
Sota nodded to his Father and was about to stand, but Kagome grabbed his hand and looked at him with pleading eyes "Please don't go..."
But the boy only gave her a soft smile "Have some faith in me...we'll meet again I promise." he then leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Kagome's forehead.
Kagome placed a hand over her mouth to hold in her sobs as she watched her brother stand and leave the Shrine, knowing that she'd never see that boy again.
Dawn soon came after that, Tsume was saddling two horses that would carry them through their week-long journey. While Kagome was spending her last moments in the prayer room.
With her prayer-beads tightly clenched in her hands, she gave a soft hymn, and before her eyes opened, she asked God for a number of things.
She prayed for her grandmother would spend the rest of years contently.
She prayed for good harvests and that the villagers would survive the bitter winters.
She prayed for brother's safety.
She prayed for Rin's happiness.
She prayed for Sesshomaru to show compassion and mercy if Sota ever did find him.
She prayed for this very Shrine to be safe and stand strong for another five hundred years.
But what she truly prayed for...
Was for Inuyasha to find happiness. She couldn't give him real happiness, not without betraying her family. Even if it was with another woman, she wanted him to live a long and happy existence.
Even if she'd never see him again, she'd always pray for him. He would always linger in her thoughts and his memory will be the only happiness she'd allow herself to feel.
She could see him so clearly in her mind. With his cocky grin or 'menacing' scowl, his powerful claws grasping the hilt to her mighty sword, his adorable ears twitch while his long, snow-white hair cascaded down to his waist, his chest puffed out...but his eyes, those golden orbs will never leave her.
Kagome and Tsume set out that morning to the East, where her future with another man would begin. Looking back to the village she called her home, to the village and the forest, she silently called out one last goodbye to her only love.