Moving On

Chapter 13 - Decisions

Bobby dropped me at the door. He offered to come in but I figure if I'm going to do this, I've got to do it on my own. Hell, I've taken Sam and I into enough schools to register over the years this shouldn't be a problem.

I stick my hands in my pockets to try and hide how much they are shaking and walk in through the door.

"Dean? Hi, I'm Mark." A guy comes forward with a smile and his hand outstretched.

"Yeah, hi." I shake his hand.

"Come on through, we can chat." He seems friendly and relaxed, which is good because I probably seem anything but. "Coffee?"

"Thanks." He hands me a cup and sits down himself.

"So Bobby says you're thinking about trying to get some qualifications and you're interested in what we might be able to offer. So what I'll do is run down the kind of stuff we do, then you can tell me the sort of area you're specifically interested in and I can elaborate more. How's that sound?"

"Good." I'm glad he's talking because it means I don't need to.

"Right so, we cater for a range of people. We have people here who left school not reading and writing or having difficulty with math. We've got people who for various reasons left school before exams and just want the opportunity to get the certificates. We also have some people doing vocational stuff, mechanics, childcare, carpentry, that sort of thing. So Bobby tells me you had to leave school early, but that you weren't far off graduating."

"Yeah, it was a long time ago though."

"Sure."

"I kind of had a bit of a patchy record; we... er... we moved... around... kind of a lot, but I wasn't too bad but I guess I've probably missed chunks and it was a long time ago."

"Right, so you want to get that under your belt rather than something more job-oriented?"

"Yeah, I... I do. I want that. First."

"Good choice. A start with possibilities of more later. I like that." The strange thing is I like the sound of it too. I feel like I have something I can prove. "So how we work is this," he continues," each student has a tutor who oversees and troubleshoots with you if you like. They spend the first week or two, sometimes longer, one on one. In that time, we work out, where a student is at, what they need and so on. Then we match you up with other students who are covering the same areas. It means you might be with different students for different classes. We work out what your commitment can be. Obviously we realise that lots of students have commitments, work, family and so on as well as studying. All we ask is that once we've agreed something that you keep to it as far as possible. No skipping out as it were. Any problems, you let us know and we try to work round it. Still sounding okay?"

"Er yeah." There are a whole bunch of questions forming in my mind.

"We expect a certain amount of self-study at home as well. We loan out any text books people need to help keep the costs down, but if you want to buy them you can do that instead. Umm... yeah I know what I was going to say. Bobby dropped you in right?" I nod. "You're not driving yet, since your accident?"

"No, it'll be a while yet."

"What we'll do is set you up with classes that more or less run-on from each other. You'll need a bit of a break between but then you can maybe get a lift in first thing and a pick up about lunch maybe 2 or 3 times a week. We'll see how it goes when you start. How does that sound?"

"Good, I think."

"Oh er, tutor? Will I do? A couple of my students have just finished so I have plenty of time on my hands right now."

"Yeah, that would be good."

"Dean, there's one thing I want to say to you. Be honest with us, if it's too hard, too easy, too much or too little, whatever, tell us. Our point in being here is to help people succeed in getting the skills they want but most of all to help people enjoy learning. A lot of people here didn't have an easy time at school when they were young. We don't want to repeat that experience here. So just talk. You might find it hard to concentrate when you start since you've been out of school for a while. Just let me know and we'll tailor it accordingly. So you have any questions?"

"How do we start?"

"Right. Okay. If you're up for it, I have some, I suppose you could call them aptitude test, we use them to find out what sort of level your literacy and math are at if that's okay? From there we start on a program of study for those. Once that's going well, we look at your other subjects and work out the workload you can manage."

"I've got time on my hands right now."

"Right. Well, we'll see how it goes. Anything else you want to ask?"

"Yeah." If I ask it he finds out, if I don't ask, I might not be able to face going to the class and he finds out anyway.

"Go ahead."

"The classes... how... how big are they? I mean, how many people?"

"Most are less than 10. If you prefer we can focus on ones with small groups until you feel ready for a bigger group."

"I... you'll think..."

"First, I'm here to help, something like that is easy to help with. Second, if it worries you, stresses you, puts you off coming, it's not helping you learn. We're in the business of helping people learn so we do whatever we can to find a way round it."

"Thank you and Bobby..."

"Anything that happens here is yours to share with people outside not ours." He smiles warmly. "So you still game?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"How about we start tomorrow morning?"

"So quickly?"

"Any reason to delay?"

"I guess not."

"Good man. Let's get started. It's easier once you're underway. Ten sound good?"

"Yeah, for how long ? What time will you be through?"

He laughs, "I'm not actually going to torture you, you know. How about Bobby comes by about 1/4 past 12, something like that?"

"Right, thanks. Thanks for your time."

"I look forward to tomorrow."

I walk out of the building feeling remarkably positive for the first time since... and that in itself is frightening. I can't remember feeling this positive since the summer Sam and I spent at Pastor Jim's and I studied loads over the summer and was actually looking forward to going back to school in the fall. That year I convinced the teachers I could get through and they were all for me applying for university. They laid futures in front of me and following bust-up after bust-up at home, I turned my back on all the futures I was tempted by, I dropped out and became me, a failure and a disappointment to the people around me.

I've about given up hope that anything I do will make a difference to Dad and Pastor Jim's gone but maybe I can prove to Sam that I'm not a complete idiot and maybe I can make what Bobby said true, that he would be proud if his son had turned out like me.

"Ready, sport? That was quick. You finished already? Did it go okay?" I hadn't noticed Bobby pull back up in the truck but I can hear the worry in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm through for today but if it's okay could you give me a lift in tomorrow for ten?"

"Sure. Everything go okay?"

"Yeah, it did. You know something? I think I can do this. I actually feel like this is the right thing to do."

"Good for you. It'll all be fine. You going to tell Sam tonight then?"

"No, not yet. Let me get started, work out how long it's going to take, stuff like that. Then I'll surprise him. I want it to be a bit of good news."

"Okay sport. I can live with that. So how long are you going to need tomorrow?"

"Just over two hours. Mark reckons I'll be good to go by 1/4 past 12."

"Fine. I've got some stuff I need to do and that's not a bad amount of time to do it. I might be a few minutes late back that but I'll be as quick as I can. Will you be okay with that?"

"I could get the groceries if you're not there. I'll call you, let you know when I'm out, you let me know how long you'll need."

He looks somewhat surprised by my suggestion but agrees to it anyway.

"So you have a timetable yet?"

"No, I guess that's something we sort tomorrow. He said maybe 2 or 3 mornings a week. Would you mind that? Some self study too. He said we fit it round other commitments."

"You'd better sort out your hospital schedule then."

"I guess and when Sam's off I suppose."

"That's not so bad, we can always make an excuse that we're going out to do something I suppose."

"And you were the one who didn't want lies!"

"Yeah, I know."

"Bobby, I just wanted to say thanks for this. I actually feel quite positive about it all at the minute. The most positive I've felt since the accident. I think I can do this."

"Good. I know you can."