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Part Eleven
The next few days nothing changes, I don't push her and she doesn't bring it up.
Thankfully we haven't returned to the animosity that was so often present between us before, just the odd heated debate about work; but it's always forgotten as soon as it begins. We've spent some time together outside work, she sits a little closer, is a little more tactile than before, but other than that it's all platonic.
It's hard though, I want so much more from her, but I told her to take all the time she needed and I fully intent to stick by that.
I've invited her to my place for breakfast after shift. She looked a little reluctant; we've not been totally alone since the locker room the other day. Which is pretty much why I did it. Selfish I know but I want her to myself for a few hours. Not that I intend to even bring it up, I simply just want to spend time with her.
She was running late so she said she'd just come over when she finished.
My phone bleeps with a text message, it's Sara telling me she's on her way. So I head to the kitchen to put the coffee on.
A few minutes later there's a knock on my door, I feel a bit nervous as I head to open it.
"Hey, come on in." I say closing the door after her, directing her to the kitchen and following her.
"Hey, how was your night?" She asks, sitting at my kitchen table.
"Not to bad, pretty easy case, what about your night?"
"It was okay, nothing unusual. I would have been here earlier but I had a car to rip apart and you know how much I love that." She smiles at me as I turn to the counter. Images of her in her boiler suit all sweaty and breathing hard rush into my head, I'm sure I'm blushing; thankfully I'm not facing her.
Having got control of my traitorous mind I head back with the coffee and sit down with her.
"I brought us breakfast." She announces showing me a bag I didn't even notice she had brought in.
"Great, what do we have?" She's so thoughtful.
"Bit of everything, I stopped at my favourite bakery, got bagels, croissants, even doughnuts; I know you get cranky without your sugar fix." She laughs.
"Cheeky." I say slapping her on the arm as I get up to grab some plates. "Wanna go to the living room? Curl up on the sofa while we eat?"
"Sounds fantastic." She follows me into the living room and we sit on the sofa.
Breakfast passes with us just chatting and laughing about nothing in particular.
I'm facing forwards with my feet on the coffee table and she's sitting side on, facing me with her arm resting across the back of the sofa. Sometime while we we're talking she started running her thumb back and forth over my shoulder. She went quiet a few seconds ago but I didn't think anything of it. I had assumed she hadn't even noticed what she was doing until I notice her eyes watching her thumb move.
"You okay?"
She doesn't take her eyes from her thumb. "I love these little freckles on your shoulders." I wasn't expecting that, it's out of the blue but makes me smile nonetheless. I'm glad she feels comfortable enough to say what she's feeling.
"Erm, thank you. Where did that come from?"
She shrugs. "I don't know, just felt like saying it, they're cute."
She leans forward and places a tiny kiss on my shoulder. Then starts running her thumb across it again.
"They're the first thing I noticed about you, that's weird isn't it, noticing them first?" She chuckles. "I always knew you were gorgeous; I have eyes. But associating the word cute with you was a new one."
She's still not looking at me; it's almost as if she's talking to herself. She seems to want to get this out of her system so I don't interrupt her.
"It was when we were on the Sherman case, you were looking at something in the microscope and I was standing next to you. You had a tank top on and I remember noticing these and thinking how cute they are, then asking myself where the hell that came from."
She finally brings her eyes up to mine, I have no idea what's going through her mind, she looks lost in thought.
"I love your eyes too, they're so expressive, and your smile, and you look really, really sexy with your glasses on." She smiles.
She sits up and moves away from me, her expression changing to one of confusion.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up, it's just...I'm still confused and I'm trying to sort it out in my own head."
"Your hands." If she's still confused I want to do everything I can to convince her we should give whatever the hell this is a chance.
"What?"
"The first thing I noticed about you was your hands." I won't mention what I want those hands to do to me every time I look at them, or just how much they distract me.
"They're so soft, but strong at the same time, they fascinate me."
I have no clue where this conversation is going, or what it's even about.
"I think I'd better go." She says as she stands up, I can't hide the disappointment that crosses my face.
"Do you have to?" I really want her to stay.
"No, but I think I should, I should go sleep or something."
God this is so damn frustrating, I want to make her stay, I know I could if I tried but I promised no pressure, it's hard as hell though.
"Okay." I sigh. I take her to the front door and watch her get in the car and drive away. I feel like screaming at this whole situation, not that I can blame anyone but myself for it.
I drag myself to bed figuring I might as well sleep, or I'll just mope around the house brooding. My head as barely hit the pillow when I hear a knock on my front door.
I make my way downstairs to find Sara on my doorstep.
"Hey, everything okay? You forget something?" I say holding the door open for her.
"Kind of, I forgot this." She says as both of her hands come up to cup my face. I don't get chance to ask her what she means, I'm to busy kissing her back.
I hear her whimper as our tongues meet. The kiss is slow and amazingly sweet, and I think I'm addicted to the feel of her mouth on mine.
She pulls back after a few minutes and her hands fall from my face.
"My goodnight kiss."
"What?" I say as my brain functions return.
"I forgot my goodnight kiss." She seems immensely happy with herself right now.
"Oh right, well I'm glad you came back for it."
"I really will go this time."
"Stay, don't go." It's out of my mouth before I even realise and I know I shouldn't ask but I want her here.
"I don't know, I don't think it's a good idea."
"Then don't think, just do. I'm only saying sleep here. If you don't want to sleep with me I have a spare room. I know it's selfish but I want you here when I wake up." That makes her smile.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am, so what do you say?" Please say yes, please say yes.
"Okay." I can hear the uncertainty in her voice.
"Great, come on, I'm tired."
I grab her hand and lead her upstairs, shooing her into the bathroom then going to get a top and shorts for her to borrow.
"Now you go shower." She told me last week she can't sleep after work without showering first. "Then sleep, the spare room is on the left, my room is straight ahead, so it's totally up to you, whatever you decide is fine."
I lean up and give her a quick kiss before heading to my room to pray to every god I can think of that she chooses to sleep in here with me.
I hear the water cut off and about ten minutes later the bathroom door opens. I hold my breath waiting to see if she's going to join me. When my bedroom door opens and she walks in, I don't have the words for how happy she's just made me.
She walks over to the bed and climbs right in behind me; I sigh in pure contentment as she wraps her arms around me and pulls me back into her.
"Thanks for asking me to stay." As if I'd want her anywhere else.
"Thank you for staying, night baby, sleep well." I cover her hands with my own, snuggling into her even more.
"Goodnight Cat." Comes her sleepy reply.
- - - - - - - -
I wake around one, groaning when I realise I'll have to move soon, to go get Lindsey. I'm in pretty much the same position I went to sleep in, comfortably wrapped up in Sara's arms.
I run my fingers up and down her forearms simply because I can, her skin is so soft.
"So you're finally awake then."
"I thought you were still asleep."
"Been awake a while, was just too comfy to move."
"Hmmm me too."
"But you're awake now sleeping beauty, so I think we should get moving, I need to go home and change and you need to get Lindsey."
"No." I groan turning around and burying my head in her neck.
"Yep, come on woman, besides I need food."
"You're just plain evil Sidle."
She chuckles. "I know, I know." She unwraps herself from me despite my protests and jumps out of bed, taking away my comfort.
"Now come on, I'll make coffee while you shower." And with that she's gone.
- - - - - - - -
Twenty minutes later I enter the kitchen to the fabulous aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
Grabbing a seat at the table and waiting for her to bring me the French toast she's made.
"I'll head home once I've finished this, get changed and ready for work."
"Okay, I know I said it already, but thank you for staying."
"I had nowhere else to be." She jokes; clearly she wants to keep this light.
Half an hour later I'm watching her leave my house again, only this time I'm happy. We took a step forward last night; we seem to have made real progress. I just hope she doesn't decide to take two steps back now.
Thanks for reading.
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Sam