Work is awesome. You meet new people, get paid, and you have something to do with your time. On the downside, people suck, minimum wage isn't something to be proud of, and all your time seems to go into work.
At least most of my coworkers are cool people.
Anyway, here we have the Underworld, a brief stint with Tartarus, Hades, and the death of the god of war. Should be fun.
Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or AC
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They should have been terrified, honestly. They were in the freaking Underworld, for Pete's sake, the place in which the souls of the dead resided, either to be punished, rewarded, or left to wonder aimlessly in the Fields of Asphodel. This was a place of cold, a place of unwelcomeness, a place in which the living had no place.
And yet, they were in awe. Well, Lou, Annabeth, Beckendorf, and Grover were in awe. In awe of Percy, that is. The son of Poseidon was strolling through the Underworld, hands behind his head, humming. It sounded like a hymnal, the kind of thing that no normal Greek would ever listen to. However, Percy's mannerisms weren't what was inspiring the awe in his friends.
It was everything going on around him.
The lines of the dead parted around him when he approached, the three judges fell silent at his presence, and when they got to Cerberus, the three-headed dog quieted down and stepped aside, allowing passage.
Annabeth couldn't take it anymore when they got to Asphodel, and the roved dead parted like the Red Sea. "Okay…what…in the world…is going on here?"
Percy turned to look at her with a lopsided grin that made her heart do something funny. "Guess," he said.
"Hades is telling everyone in his domain to not give us any crap so we can get to his palace ASAP?"
"Sure," Percy shrugged. Then he went back to humming.
"Okay then. What's your theory—"
Lou's eyes widened when she sensed a trickle of magical energy coming from the blonde's shoes. "Annabeth!"
The shoes sprouted wings, and the daughter of Athena screamed as she was dragged away by malicious footwear. The quest immediately gave chase, no pun intended, racing after Annabeth as the shoes carried towards a cave. Percy was the fastest, easily outstripping Beckendorf's longer stride, and Grover's hooves, but even he was having trouble keeping pace. Whatever magic was driving those shoes, it was driving them with haste.
Percy saw something out of the corner of his eye, and glanced over to see Lou Ellen hovering along. The look on her face could have been interpreted as she was either straining her magical power, or she was trying not to fart. Given the situation, Percy was inclined to believe the former.
The walls of the cave suddenly surrounded them, and then there was the cliff that lead straight down into darkness. Lou Ellen's eyes widened when she saw where she was heading, and the sheer terror that was Tartarus gripped her in a vice, and her mind went blank. She flew straight over the edge. Annabeth's screams died in her throat when she went over the edge.
Percy's arms nearly popped out of his sockets when he grabbed both girls' arms and completely halted their momentum. They dangled over the edge, the son of Poseidon about to fall over it himself.
"Lou…"
"Yes, Annabeth?"
"Do have any more diapers on you?"
"I'm wearing one…"
"Do you have any in a bag somewhere?"
"Why?"
"I think I'm gonna need one."
"Both of you shut up down there," Percy grunted. "There will be no diapers, people are tired of that by now."
"…was that a Fourth Wall Break?"
"Can it, Annabeth."
The winged shoes wriggled off her feet, and disappeared into the abyss. The girls heard Percy suck in a breath, and then they were being lifted at a moderately fast pace. Quicker than they thought possible their chests were above the cliff's edge. They were so stunned that they failed to react properly until Percy hissed.
"This angle is awkward, and you two aren't exactly light. Will you get up here already before I drop you?"
They didn't need to be told twice. Annabeth and Lou scrambled over the side, and promptly collapsed next to their savior, panting and pale.
"What was that?" Annabeth asked.
"Gifts from Luke, remember?"
Grey eyes shifted to look at the leather coat. "What are you implying?"
"Nothing. Merely giving you the clues necessary to make an educated guess regarding your crush."
Annabeth's eyes narrowed. "You're saying Luke enchanted those shoes to bring us down…here?"
"Something like that."
If Annabeth wasn't still so scared of where exactly she was and what had almost just happened, she very well would have slapped Percy across the face. However, that didn't stop her from glaring.
"Take that back," she hissed.
Percy still had half his body dangling over the side. "Later. Right now, we have more pressing matters, such as leaving this place and getting to Hades' palace."
"Fine," Annabeth grudgingly conceded, "but don't think this is over."
"Uh-huh."
Percy wriggled backwards, rolled over, and then popped to his feet. Then he helped Lou Ellen to her feet, and offered a hand to Annabeth, which was rejected with a petulant 'hmph!' as she climbed to her own feet.
The three were making their way back through the cave when a cold wind brushed past them, down to the pit. Percy thought it was more akin to someone taking in a breath, and his thoughts were confirmed when a he heard whispered words come from behind him.
Grandson…
Lou Ellen and Annabeth heard it too, because they looked behind themselves with questioning looks on their faces.
"Grandson?" Annabeth said confusedly.
"Both of you continue forward. I'll be joining you shortly."
"Percy," Lou said. "What are you about to do?"
"Have a conversation with my grandfather."
"You're grand—" two pairs of eyes widened as the thought slammed into them like a freight train.
"Percy, no!" they said in tandem.
"It's either get this over with now, or be tormented with dreams later. Now shoo. There is business that needs my attention."
Percy spun around and marched back down the tunnel. Lou and Annabeth shared a look, looked back down at where Percy was, looked back at each other, and the continued up.
Percy stared down at the pit. "You have my attention."
He felt something akin to an exhale pass over him, and he smelled the stink of rotting corpses.
You've done well in your endeavors, Grandson, though I cannot fathom why you still side with my idiot children.
"I've already told you: I side with one God. The Olympians' quarrel threatens this world, I'm simply doing my part in ending their squabble."
In the pit, something chuckled. Percy was reminded of Jabba the Hut.
Do you think this will be the end of it? I've watched them for millennia, watched as they've torn this world asunder in a way I never allowed my kin to do. They quarreled yesterday, they quarrel today, and they'll quarrel tomorrow as well. There is no end to it, Grandson, at least, not an end that will naturally happen, just as the end of the Primordials was not natural, nor was that of the Titans.
"Yes, you all seem to have a running gag with sons overthrowing their fathers. What? Are you going to tempt Heracles into doing something stupid?"
HA! That muscle-headed oaf couldn't work out a preschool-level brainteaser. Oh no, Grandson, it will not be Zeus' sons that overthrow him and restore order to this chaotic world, but Zeus' father. I will rise from this prison, and I will wage war with my traitorous sons and daughters.
"Traitorous? You ate them out of fear for your throne. They only escaped your stomach and ended your tyrannical rule over the people of Earth."
Another Hut-like laugh rumbled out from Tartarus.
I guess it is true that history is written by the victors. The Olympians won the war and wrote the story differently, I see.
Percy stared down into the pit. "What are you talking about?"
I am talking about the true nature of history. I take it says something along the lines of 'I ate my children because I was scared of them, but my wife his away Zeus, and then he returned in his prime, freed his siblings, and then waged war against the evil Titans,' yes? WRONG!
I swallowed my children because I was shown a vision of what they would do to this earth, letting humanity spiral out of control, letting them pollute and ruin nature, letting them slaughter themselves in the name of gods and men. I sought to prevent such fate for the world I ruled, and so I did my best to cut their destinies short. Look what happened when they got free.
"And then humanity was allowed to flourish under their rule, stumbling and falling and picking themselves back up."
And you think I did not let them do that when I was king? Oh, my Grandson, how much you have been deceived by your father, aunts and uncles. We Titans are evil only because that is how our children wrote us to be in annals of history. Go now, finish your quest, and ponder on my words, Grandson. Choose carefully whom you follow in this web of lies you have been caught in.
"I follow the One True God."
Be careful that He does not lead you astray…
The presence that Percy felt faded, and he knew that he was now simply standing above Tartarus. He turned around and left the cave and the tunnel. He emerged into the Underworld, and was met with cries of surprise and joy.
"You're alive!"
"You're okay!"
"Bla-ha-ha!"
"Rough! Rough!"
"Percy!"
Lou nearly bulldozed the demigod into the ground, but the Assassin was sturdy enough to hold his ground. The witch drew her arms away with a blush, and stepped back.
"So…what did he want?"
"To inform me that the Titans weren't as bad as the gods made them out to be, because the gods wrote history to their favor. The 'history is written by the victor principle.'"
"He's lying to you," Annabeth said immediately. "He's called the Crooked One for a reason."
"True, but there is merit to what he claims. What proof do we have of the Titan's cruelty beyond what Zeus and his allowed to be written?"
While compelled to argue, she was a daughter of Athena, and she could see the logic in what Percy was saying. Beyond the stories told by Homer, and Hesiod, and Aeschylus, and Sophocles, and Ovid, and Virgil, there weren't any other documents pertaining to what life was like during the Titan's reign. Besides, written works could be manipulated, falsified, and engrossed.
Now Annabeth found herself questioning every myth she knew of, questioning all of their validity.
"Dang it, Percy! Now you've got me conspiracy theorizing!"
"Good. That gives you something to do on the way to Hades' palace. Onward and upward, as they say. Let's move."
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The trek to the black residence of the Underworld God was met without any more interference until the gates were reached. Gates that were guarded by literal skeletons with guns.
The gates creaked open, and a fluttering sound was heard. Everyone looked up, and then everyone besides Percy got ready for battle at the sight of the Furies. Alecto bared her fangs, never alighting, along with her sisters.
"Come with us, honey. Lord Hades wishes to see you."
Percy just raised a brow, and followed his former math teacher through the black marble of his uncle's home. They soon arrived at the throne room, and Percy cared not for details or explanations of appearance. His sole focus was on the ten-foot-tall man in the flowing black robes sitting upon a throne made of skeletal parts.
Percy stood in front of Hades, his friends more or less quivering behind him, scared out of their wits.
"Uncle."
"Nephew," Hades said slowly, as if testing the word out. "I believe you have something of mine."
"Which would be…?"
The dark god's black eyes alit with smoke. "Do you take me for a fool, Nephew? I know you have my brother's Bolt, and I know you have my Helm! Return to me what is mine, and I may just grant you a quick death."
"Ahhh, so that's what Alecto was screaming about on the bus so many days ago," Percy mused happily. "Well, Uncle, this will be unfortunate news for you, but…I do not have your Helm. For that, I apologize. As for the Bolt; Beckendorf, the bag, please."
"Uh, sure."
The son of Hephaestus handed the bag to Percy.
"Thank you, Beck."
"Don't mention it."
The Assassin unzipped the bag, rummaged through it a little bit, before his hand hit something that was decidedly not clothes, money, or Double-Stuff Oreos. "Ah-ha!" Percy promptly pulled a bronze cylinder out of the bag. The air suddenly smelled of ozone, and thrummed with electricity. "I take it this is the Master Bolt."
Hades eyes the weapon. "Indeed it is, but how did you get it?"
"Ares gave us this bag, Uncle, which means he most likely has your Helm as well."
"While true that idiot may have given you the bag with the Bolt in it, that does not mean that he has my Helm, nor does this absolve you of suspicion."
"Well, isn't that just a darn shame that I don't care about your suspicions. You are not the Lightning Thief, and we do not have your Helm. Our business here is concluded."
"Not so fast, Nephew. I have something you might be interested in."
Green eyes narrowed. "Such as…?"
Hades held out his hand, and a stream of fire was spat from it. Inside the flames, the face and body of a familiar person became clear. The woman's eyes widened.
"Percy!"
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The son of Poseidon…was not prepared for this. Some small part of him told him something like this could have happened, but he had ignored it. Honestly, he didn't know how to react in this situation, he didn't know what to do. If he hadn't been burdened with the memories of Faris and Vergil, he most likely would have been teary eyed and demanding that Hades give Sally back to him.
It was wisdom those two shared, their experiences, the higher purposes in life they had served, that had dulled Percy's fire for saving his mother. He had been older than her, he was wiser than she was, smarter than she was; he was above her in almost every way imaginable.
Thoughts of living with her again left a strange taste in Percy's mouth, and there was a part of him that had hopes that the episode with the Minotaur had been the end of Sally, and then there would be one less thing holding Percy back from seeking out any remaining factions of Templars and Assassins.
Yes, in a corner of his mind, Percy had hoped that his mother had died—or rather, had finally found peace.
However, here she was, in the grasp of Hades, and Percy didn't know how to handle that. Perhaps it was all the memories of Vergil's mother, Aquila, that had the biggest impact on Percy's psyche, because all the feelings of warmth and acceptance with that woman were far stronger than what Percy felt in regards to Sally. He blamed that on the fact that he had apparently had no soul up until almost a year ago, but he had most of his soul during the Renaissance.
In light of the situation, however, the Assassin had to do something, so he went with the classic, "Give her back."
Hades waved his hand, and the fire vanished, along with the visage of Sally. "So, the devout Christian wants something. I thought your God was the only thing you ever needed."
Percy was no longer in that mood. "Do not start this game with me, Hades. I will not be as forgiving with you, as I was with Charon."
"Is that a threat, little boy?"
"No, fool, it is a promise. Give my mother back to me now, or your trip to the Lake of Fire will be arriving much shorter than what was foretold in the Book of Revelation."
Hades smirked. "While a battle with you would be amusing, I think I've discovered a way in which we both get what we want. You claim Ares has my Helm? Then go to him, and prove your innocence. Do this, and your mother will be returned to you. I swear it on the Styx."
The argument could be felt in the air, but Lou Ellen spoke out before their stay in the Underworld extended itself beyond what was necessary. It was creepy down here, dammit! She wanted to leave!
"Thank you, Lord Hades. We'll get right on that. Pearls, everyone?"
No one had to be told twice to crush the pearls under heel, though Percy did so with a highly displeased look on his face. Up until the bubble obscured his vision, he never broke eye contact with Hades.
Hades watched them ascend through his ceiling, and when they were gone, he said, "Alecto?"
The Fury fluttered to his feet and bowed. "My Lord."
"They were in the Lotus Hotel, correct?"
"Yes, my Lord."
"Do any of them suspect Nico and Bianca?"
"…I believe Perseus does, my Lord."
"I see…return to the surface and monitor its happenings. If Ares has my Helm, I want it back. I'll decide his punishment later." Alecto's fanged grin made Hades look at the Fury. "Is there something you would like to add?"
"Ares is on the beach, my Lord."
It took Hades a moment, but he figured it out. "Ah, yes. Never mind then on punishment. Poseidon will take care of it."
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The quest popped up in the waters of the Pacific, and Percy immediately noticed the figure on the sands not even a full twenty meters away. So did everyone else, and while they felt unquenchable rage at Ares for what he had done to Percy, and for what he had planned to do, they also realized that Ares was a god, and gods were not so easily handled.
The quest found themselves on the shore, carried by a warm wave.
"Sup, you little shits," Ares greeted casually. "None of you are supposed to be alive."
"Where's the Helm?" Percy asked, his voice dead.
"Oh, you mean this thing?" the god of war pulled a ski mask from his pocket. "Well, I suppose you can have it if you can beat me in a fight."
Percy stepped forward, only to be grabbed by a very concerned Lou Ellen. "I know you want to cave his skull in, but think about this. He's the god of war. Fighting is his territory."
"We are on a beach. We're in my territory."
"Poseidon can't help you without being directly provoked by Ares," Lou said, panic in her eyes.
"I do not need Poseidon's help, nor yours. Now let go of me, so I can end this, and we can all get back home."
"Percy…"
"Have some faith, will you?"
The son of Poseidon jerked his arm free, and continued towards the pig who had planned to rape him.
"Oh ho? Coming to get a little revenge for the diner, eh? You know, I really do prefer girls, but I think I'll make an exception for that juicy ass of yours. Granted, I am a god, so I guess I can just turn you into a girl now and have my way with you. Tell me, you got any good baby names picked out yet?"
"Ares, your naiveté would be touching, if it wasn't so annoying."
"How do you figure?"
"You still assume you will be fighting me."
The god of war froze, but then he laughed, though there was an undertone of nervousness to it. "You just got lucky that afternoon, bitch. Big J was lookin' out for you then, he isn't now."
"Well then, if you're so confident, come, and have me as you would."
"With pleasure."
A broadsword appeared in Ares' hand, and the god teleported to within arm's length of the boy. The half-bloods and satyr screamed in horror, and Kira howled in her high-pitched puppy voice. Percy merely kept a straight face, and found time to quote scripture.
"'The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.' Book of Exodus. Chapter Fourteen. Verse Fourteen."
Ares' blade nearly rent Percy's head from his body, but the pagan's sword was stopped dead…by the demigod's own bare hand.
The world fell silent, everyone staring in awe at what they were watching. Above, dark grey clouds gathered. To the side, the ocean began to roil and toss. Below, the sands started to shake. In front, Percy's body became shrouded in a golden aura that calmly fluctuated across his body in a dazzling display of alternating patterns.
The demigod's eyes opened, and Ares stumbled back at seeing the golden pupils.
"W-What…?"
"Peace."
He spoke, and the world obeyed. The ocean immediately calmed, the clouds halted in their gathering, leaving rays of sunlight to stream through in random locations, and the sands fell back into their slumber.
He looked at the trembling pagan, who stood on bended knees.
"Chaos, Izanagi, Ra, and Búri, after I defeated them at the onset of Creation, cautioned me against giving the first species free will, and allowing all others from their minds to also have free will, especially so considering the horrors and travesties it would bring. Indeed, I have witnessed the worst those with my gift have done to this world, but so too have I seen the best. You, my child, are an example of the worst of those with free will. Now, separate into your halves."
He spoke, and reality obeyed. Ares was separated, his biker-ensemble self gasping in the sand, his camouflaged self standing erect and upright, sweating.
"Leave us, Mars. I have no issue with you."
The more honorable pagan war god nodded stiffly, and vanished in a swirl of sand. That left only Ares at the mercy of Him.
"I have tolerated the many acts of my children over the eons. I have stood silent while my name was used in false pretense, and I have stood silent while my name is slandered and declared as myth and fairy tale. As active as I have been, I see now that I need to be…even more active. Forgive me, my child, for as your Father I must discipline you for your grave misconducts, and your price is a steep one. Know that this hurts me far more than it will hurt you."
He placed a hand on the pagan's head, gripping the skull tightly, and then, with a single yank, He pulled Ares' entire spinal column out of his body in a violent spray of golden fluid, accompanied by the terrifying sound of shredding bone and ripping flesh. The body slumped over and vanished in a soft golden glow, and the head, spinal cord dripping rivulets of gold upon the sand, also vanished in that same glow.
Grover ducked behind Beckendorf and was sick upon the beach when Ares was relieved of his head.
He looked at Percy's friends with a sad smile, and they all froze in place.
"It is a sad day for a father when he must punish his children in such a way. My firm hand is one my most errant child has successfully used against his siblings to turn them from me, but alas. These are grievances that none of you need concern yourself with.
"Kira, you have been given a second chance; do not let it go to waste. Charles, your relationship with Silena is a pure one; please, wait till marriage, if you can. Grover, I have heard your prayers for my help in finding Pan; I will be with you, always. Annabeth, you seek answers to the many questions you have; study my Word, be faithful, and you will find them. Lou Ellen, you have prayed to me every time before you sleep that you will wake up unsoiled; my errant child is fond of using such prayers to turn his siblings from me. To you I say this: do not let my son corrupt you."
And then just like that, the glow in Percy's pupils, and the aura around him, disappeared.
"Well, that was something."
…
"Is there something on my face?"
Annabeth's brain kickstarted first. "WHAT WAS THAT!?"
"Our que to head for the nearest airport. Alecto retrieved the Helm when none of you were looking, and my mother has been returned to our apartment in Manhattan. Gabe is there, and I have business to discuss with him. So pip, pip, cheerio, and let's go."
With that, Percy began to head in the same general direction of an airport.
Everyone was still so stunned at what they just witnessed, they didn't even question the logic of a son of Poseidon getting on an airplane.
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The airport was a mile away, and the quest was walking through the bustling city streets, when Percy stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk.
"All of you continue to the airport. There is business that I need to attend to here."
"Can't you hold it till we get to the airport?"
"How 'bout one my diapers?"
"As polite as that is, I am not referring to that kind of business. Don't question me—get going. I imagine I'll be there within the next ten minutes anyway."
Unsatisfied but knowing they weren't getting anything else out of him, the rest of the quest continued to the airport. Percy walked down the alley. It was the kind of alley that had four entrances, going down to a central junction much larger than the floor space of the average house. There were dumpsters, trashcans, backdoors, garage-type doors, powerlines, transformers, and a drunk homeless man.
This was the kind of alley you made a conscious effort to avoid, and not look down into.
"I've had all of you made for the past hour. Get out here, now."
Knowing they had been caught, by a child no less, the figures in the white hoodies melted from their hiding places.
"Your blending was terrible, your stealth was even worse, and your ability to hide yourselves from the senses of others was nothing short of pitiful. However, I trust none of you followed me for a lecture, though it is refreshing and somewhat heartwarming to know that the Brotherhood still exists…assuming you are who I think you are. Elsewise, I would feel embarrassed. Actually, I'm still embarrassed. Has the quality of Mentors and their training degraded that much, or all of you simply terrible learners?"
"That does it, take this brat out!"
Percy heard the obnoxious clanking of firearms, and took in all of his surroundings in head-spinning speed. Twas not firearms, but dart guns, all presumably loaded with sleeping toxins. While the Nemean Lion's pelt would have easily deflected all projectiles, Percy's ADHD reflexes were not to be ignored. From three different directions came the darts, and in was in three different directions that Percy twisted about.
He brandished his hand towards the leader of the group. Held in between his fingers were all three offending darts. With a grin, Percy whipped about, slinging all three darts into the necks of those with the guns. They collapsed almost instantly, but the Assassin could they were still breathing.
"Now then. I believe you'll have to use your fists from this point forward."
The modern-day Assassins charged.
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So, the Brotherhood is here, but where's Desmond at? What's Abstergo doing, if anything? And what does Percy have to say about the poor quality of those of his Order? What will he say when he learns about how far deep into the shit the Order went, at the death of a single Mentor, by the hand of a single traitor?
I can tell you now: it won't be pretty.
Anyway, next chapter is Percy whipping ass and being disappointed, the ending of the Lightning Thief arc, and the shelving of this story in favor of either Green-Eyed Ghoul, or Son of Jashin.
Oh, and Ares had his ass handed to him.
Fav, Follow, and Review please!