Saints and Sinners
II.
Damned
Light.
Karin is afraid of the darkness. She only admitted it once, as a child, and her mother always assured her that nothing was wrong with it. A lantern burned in Karin's nursery, small and bright, as if she would soon grow out of it.
But even now, when it's childish to be that way, when it's definitely not a military attribute, Karin needs a light in the darkness.
Apoina Tower is full of haunted darkness, crammed with mad ghosts, mourning royalty, things Karin cannot and will not think about.
Every corridor looks the same and there seems to be no way out. Karin is feeling so very lost, and the feeling settles somewhere in her stomach, acidic, warm, biting at her.
Apoina is the embodiment of every nightmare, the pain of every soul, and she can't look at it even with wide-open eyes.
Nicolai is on guard here, his back straight, his eyes peering into the darkness. He tells her to stay close and she will, because she wants to please her general, her country, her privates—everyone she's ever known.
She feels small and weak in the face of Nicolai, but she reminds herself that's she's a lieutenant and she's powerful. She has to be, even if she's never fought demons before.
In the tower's winding maze of staircases and prison cells, Karin swings at demons with her sword, striking them down. But Nicolai blinds them, makes them burn in white, blessed light. He's stepping in for God, becoming the human face of a deity, damning these demons for good.
The light is warm against Karin, like the lantern left in her nursery, and the spell leaves light humming in her heart. She becomes dependent on Nicolai's light to lead her through.
If he moves too fast or she moves too slow, she will stop, fearful, in the darkness. He'll take her hand and she'll try to remember—this is wrong, it's not professional, he must think I'm hopeless—but he smiles at her like it's nothing. He says, calmly, with that smooth accented voice of his, that there's nothing to worry about.
She believes him, as everyone else has before. And they continue to go up, ascending the stairway, led by damned light.