DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.

Severus Snape sat in his bed in his Slytherin Dormitory in Hogwarts, confused, lost, desperate and alone. He had lost his friendship with Lily the day he had called her a Mudblood. He had tried to apologize to her but she had refused.

He remembered their conversation when he had tried to apologize:

"...I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just…"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No—listen, I didn't mean…"

"…to call me Mudblood? But you call EVERYONE of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

And now that Severus had lost Lily, there was only one way to assuage his grief: Join Voldemort. 'After all, she never really loved me, did she?' He thought. While Lily was just a treacherous Mudblood who had betrayed him, Voldemort was power. He would appreciate Snape's interests in the dark arts and his skills in potions.

And that was where he thought.

If there was one thing he had not really thought about before, it was the fact that Lily had been his one true friend until that point. He remembered the times that she had screamed at James Potter and his friends for bullying him.

And now she had fallen in love with the person who had bullied him.

But why had she left him?! Why?!

Her words rang in his mind: "You and your precious little Death Eater friends—you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

And then he realized. He had been around the wrong people. Avery, Mulciber, Lucius Malfoy; they were racists, pureblood-supremacists who wanted to join the dark lord, who disrespected muggleborns such as Lily, and sought power. Lily had pointed it out several times to him, and he had simply shrugged his shoulders and ignored her warnings. And now he had been influenced by them long enough, to call his dear friend 'Mudblood'.

If he were to join Voldemort now, what right would he have to say that she betrayed him? Lily would only be justified.

And then he began to sob silently as he realized what he truly wanted: To be able to at least speak with Lily as a friend. To be her friend as he once was.

But would she accept him now? She would certainly not. Lily had made it quite clear. Why? Because he still kept bad company and indulged in their ways. He realized there was only one way to regain her friendship: renouncing the company he kept, but could he do it?

He thought, "What do I really want? Do I want plenty of good friends and power, appreciation for my skills, or do I want my true friend?" He thought and thought and finally came to a decision.

He silently but firmly declared, "From now on, I renounce the Dark Lord and those friends of mine who wish to join him. Lord Voldemort, Avery, Mulciber, Lucius; I renounce them all, for you, my one and true friend, Lily!"