Despite all the happenings of just the past few days that had occurred, Kate Bishop still couldn't believe this was happening.
Snoring, resting, peacefully in that big recliner chair in the living room of her absent aunt's apartment was none other than her absolute hero Clint Barton. Hawkeye himself.
To say that Kate was star struck by the events that had so far taken place that had led them to hiding out into her aunt's apartment was the understatement of the century. In her years of training, archery, basically playing every sport she possibly could, they definitely did not prepare her for this specific scenario.
Being alone in a house, with her hero.
The man was asleep, peacefully and without a care in the world, at least so it seemed to Kate as she observed him from the couch with a smile. She had never seen him so at peace. For the few days they had worked together, meeting, planning, encountering, being captured by and subsequently escaping the Track Suit Mafia. She could tell that it was getting to Clint, who had only been single-mindedly focused on returning home to his family for Christmas.
His family…
"Right, he has a family, a wife and kids", Kate thought to herself.
Silently gulping, Kate uncrossed her legs on the couch as quietly as she could, careful not to wake the sleeping Avenger or the one-eyed dog that was silently sleeping next to him on the floor.
Thinking about Clint's family made Kate have two feelings. One was a longing to be with her own, to be with her mom during this holiday. The other one was a feeling of a stinging jealousy.
Jealousy towards Clint's wife in particular.
"Stop it Kate! You can't think like that!" Kate shook her head to relief herself of the thoughts and the stinging feeling the green eyed monster caused.
She shouldn't be jealous shouldn't she? Why would she? Clint's wife and kids did nothing wrong after all. Clint deserved this happiness in his life, after all he had lost and fought for. His time as a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, an Avenger, losing his family in the Blip…the man had gone through hell and back and had rightfully earned his happiness. Right?
"Yeah absolutely he deserves this happiness." Kate thought.
But then why did she feel this way?
Looking up to her sleeping idol, Kate couldn't help but remember how many times she fantasized about meeting him after witnessing his heroics as a child. Growing up, learning archery as a way to emulate the man that had saved her life that day, that had inspired her to be stronger.
And as teenagers do while they grow up, she developed a crush. Not on the boys around her at school, but on the older man that was now here under the same roof as her. By complete circumstance their paths had crossed and Kate's feelings where lit ablaze by it once again.
She laughed at herself thinking back to her teenage years as she had just turned sixteen and secretly had hidden a newspaper photo of Hawkeye she had found. And as hormones and urges emerged the inevitable result had been Kate pleasuring herself fantasizing about the man she admired, using said photo as a mental material.
But none of that mattered now? Did it?
Well passed her teenage years but that crush always remained for Kate. In her eyes how could she not feel this way? This man saved her life? He was a hero…he was her hero.
Frustrated Kate stood up, careful not to wake Clint nor the dog as she made her way towards the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water and drinking it up in one big gulp. Her mind was racing with thoughts and feelings. Ones she wasn't able to process since everything had gone and happened so fast, barely having time for herself to process all that was going on.
She turned to look at the sleeping form of Clint Barton with more clarity as she breathed in. And in that moment, those feelings washed over her again.
"No, No I cannot do this! He is married!" the thoughts in her head screamed.
It was wrong! Wrong for her to feel this way about him. Yet she felt unable to stop herself as she looked at the resting Hawkeye and her mind wandered off.
Thoughts of his strong arms around her…his lips on her neck…his hands around her hips…
Kate grunted and shook her head around to remove the intimate and inappropriate thoughts she had about the married man out of it.
"I can't think this…not about him…he's married….he would never feel anything for me."
Her thoughts and secret desires where apparently conspiring against her, as she could not step one foot forward before feeling a wetness between her legs. Kate's face blushed a scarlet red and she thanked whatever god was up there that Clint was sleeping as she had the worst poker face.
This couldn't be happening.
Kate looked up to see if Clint was still resting, and surely enough there he was, sound asleep like nothing could wake him, peacefully away in dreamland. Kate sighed in relief and looked around her.
Slowly but surely she began navigating the hallways until she found one of the many bedrooms in the apartment. Entering and softly closing the door behind her, she laid down on the bed, her head hitting the pillows.
The uneasiness between her legs seemed more prevalent now. Now that she was alone with her thoughts without the chance of Clint seeing her in this state. Normal on the outside, but fuming with desire and uncertainty from the inside.
Grabbing the nearby pillow she placed it on top of her head and let out a long needed scream.
The pillow damped the volume of the screech as Kate let it all out. It was a much needed relief from her rushing and inappropriate thoughts.
Placing the pillow beside her, she stared blankly up to the ceiling. Admitting defeat and letting all her thoughts overtake her. Thoughts about Clint she know she shouldn't have. Fantasies in which he desired her as much as she desired him. That old teenage crush and admiration had never left her, and now here, against all odds she was under one roof with her idol, her hero.
Her hero…
Those words rang through her head the most. This man had saved her at her most vulnerable, the day she lost her father, who had sworn to always protect her as much as he could, now here Clint was that day to save her, to save everyone.
Kate breathed in deeply, her womanhood was aching, constrained by her tight jeans, desperate for a release. She wanted to deny it, her feelings where conflicted. It wasn't wrong to meet her hero and be enamored by him.
But it was wrong to pine for a married man. A path that would only need to sadness and misery if she pursued it. Kate knew that much, but she also knew, these feelings wouldn't go away. They never had the moment she started idolizing him as a teenager.
It felt dreadfully slow as her hands went down to her trousers and fumbled nervously with the zipper of her jeans. She breathed in slowly as she tried her fingers to stop trembling from the nervousness.
Once her fingers weren't trembling anymore she slowly pulled the zipper on her jeans down, and moved her back up to allow her to slowly pull them down to allow more access.
Everything felt like it was going dreadfully slow as Kate slipped her hand underneath her panties and started softly inserting a finger into her wetness. A soft moan escaped her mouth as her fingers made contact with her almost dripping womanhood. In Kate's mind she imagined the scenario's that should be forbidden to her.
In her mind it wasn't her fingers but Clint's….who could make her feel this good, make her feel this safe. She imagined beneath that gruff exterior was a passionate man, rough but not too rough, more like in the sense of a passionate protective figure. As the fantasies of her idol flooded her mind, she inserted one more finger in herself, and then another one, softly flicking against her clit as the pleasure increased and flowed through her body like a power surge.
"Ah…..hmmm," she moaned "oh Clint!"
In reflex she immediately covered her mouth with her remaining hand upon hearing how loud that was. She stopped her self-pleasuring and looked at the still closed door, no sounds and or footsteps to be heard. So she assumed he hadn't heard anything, still in a deep sleep at the other end of the house.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Kate returned to her self-pleasuring session, moving her fingers a lot faster and increasing the pressure on her clit. She was positively dripping, her panties no doubt soaked.
She kept her hand over her mouth as to dampen her own sounds of pleasure, not willing to imagine what Clint would think of her if he saw her like this, fingering herself to thoughts about him. What would he think? That she was a slut? Or a crazy obsessed fangirl?
"No…Clint is a good man he would never think that of me."
Her fingers moved faster inside her dripping wetness as she moaned with her hand firmly clasped over her mouth while the other did the work. And she imagined it all, her forbidden fruit as it were. She imagined Clint Barton making love to her just like she did when she was sixteen. How he would make her feel, would he be passionate and loving, protective as he had shown he was towards her. How would his fingers, his mouth, his…his everything feel on her.
It became too much for her, she was reaching her peak as her fingers moved faster and faster inside her. She was so close…
"I want you….I want you Clint! My hero…" she thought.
"Hmmmm…" her dampened moans let out as she felt her orgasm take over her body. Her head fell back on the pillow as her hips bucked and the juices covered her fingers and soaked through her already wet panties. The feeling was incredible, a wave of pleasure as the thoughts of her idol and hero making her feel this way made the feeling all the more better.
Kate breathed out in relief as her orgasm subsided, the hand cover her mouth was now on her chest, her dark hair clinging to her sweaty face from the steamy session. And she just laid there for a while, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything she had just done with him only a few meters away. Here she was, on bed pants down her ankles, having just fingered herself to thoughts of the man that had changed her life in so many ways.
And now suddenly, the normally confident Kate Bishop felt a tear roll down her cheek and her stomach turn as a feeling of guilt replaced the initial pleasure she had just experienced seconds ago as realization set in that she was fantasizing and pining for a married man.
It was so wrong and yet…it had felt so good. Thinking about Clint, about her hero…it always felt good. Kate looked at the still closed door on her side, extended her arm as if to reach for something, whispering longingly.
"I want you…"
A/N: So there is the story you guys. Not sure if I want to continue this or leave it as a one shot. It was just an idea that popped up into my head so I thought why not. If I should continue this let me know, I'm always open to suggestions.