A/N: So this chapter takes place after the events of the final episode with Kate staying with the Bartons. For the rest enjoy the chapter.
Kate couldn't be more happier considering all that had happened.
Personal feelings and unrequited feelings for an older married archer aside, she was truly happy where she currently was with Clint's family. After her mother's arrest she had barely anywhere to go and Clint decided to take her with him to spend Christmas with his family. Taking Lucky with her and joining the Barton family Christmas celebration was the best thing to happen to her in a long time aside from meeting her hero itself.
They really welcomed her, made her feel at home. Kate's initial jealousy to Clint's wife Laura had all but vanished, while it was still there she couldn't help but love the attentive and seemingly observant woman who was very good at keeping her family in line in a good way. She along with her children had welcomed her without question, and it was a pleasant surprise after feeling like she had lost her entire family after the fight with Kingpin and the ever present pest that had been the Tracksuit Mafia.
So there she laid on the bed in the guest room in the big farmhouse. And she was still wide awake.
Kate looked at the time on her phone, 3:00 AM. She grunted as she placed the phone back on her nightstand and once again stared up at the ceiling. She was happy being here, happy to enjoy the company of a welcoming family after feeling like she had lost her own.
She hadn't even felt jealousy towards Clint's wife as she did before, the woman was amazing and sweet, no wonder Clint loved her so much. To Kate everything should be well and good, she had found some light in the darkness of the recent events.
Yet she just couldn't get to sleep.
Standing up from the bed and rubbing her eyes, Kate couldn't help but wonder what the source of this sleepless night was. She had no answers other than that the last few days where hard. Her fight with the Kingpin, her mother arrested and the yet unresolved feelings she had for the man whose roof she currently lived under.
There wasn't much she could do about them, they were just going to remain unresolved she guessed. Kate sighed as she stood up and walked to the door of the guest room to step outside, maybe a drink of water would help her out.
Stepping outside, Kate made sure to be as quiet as possible, tiptoeing through the hallway as to ensure she did not wake anyone. If anything her previous trying to be an overachiever at every sport possible was certainly paying off now.
Sneaking past what she knew was Laura and Clint's room and came to a sudden stop as she heard a sound. Kate turned around but saw nothing and it couldn't have been the sound of her own feet. Her attention was directed to the door. Placing her ear to it she could hear a soft grunting coming from the other side.
Curiosity seemed to get the better off her as she had sneaking suspicion of what was going on behind that door.
Reaching for the handle, she felt a lump in her throat. This was so wrong! She shouldn't be doing this, she should just keep walking and ignore it. But when it came to Clint Barton, her curiosity and feelings got the best of her.
Slowly but surely she opened the door ever so slightly, being careful not to make any sudden noises as she peaked inside of the room.
And what she saw, left her mouth agape.
While the room was dark she could see the silhouettes of Clint and his wife Laura making love right in front of her, with Laura on top riding him. Kate couldn't believe her eyes as she took in the sight in front of her, she was watching her idol make love to his wife and in her mind and mixture of guilt, shame and longing washed over her.
She could hear Laura softly grunting and moaning as she was on top of her husband. Kate felt her hormones light on fire, as she wanted to see more of this but knew she couldn't for risk of getting caught. She shouldn't even be looking at this.
But the sight of it, such an intimate act involving her hero, she couldn't look away. She heard all the grunts, moans and longing sounds as both partners pleasured each other, hearing "I love you multiple times".
Kate wished it was her in that position. More than anything she wanted to be where Laura was now, on top of Clint, held by his strong loving arms.
She stumbled backwards silently, away from the door, and hastily ran off from the scene.
The next morning Kate avoided the family as much as she could, breakfast was awkward as even just Laura asking her to pass the butter made her almost jump afraid.
She was now on the bed in the guest room, just thinking about what to do next. She felt guilty having watched the couple, and even more guilty about masturbating about it later that night.
"Well done Kate you're really making things easier for yourself" she huffed to herself as she rubbed her eyes and screamed internally.
These people had opened their home to her, welcomed her with open arms like one of their own and she just goes and does this. Her feelings where getting in the way, feelings she shouldn't be having in the first place. Often times Kate wondered whether or not her feelings where genuine or just the result of a huge hero obsession she had for the archer.
A knock came to the door, with Laura entering soon after.
"Kate, are you doing alright?" she asked.
Kate looked up in surprise as Laura Barton entered the room and walked towards her, leaning up from the bed she gave her quick response "yeah I'm totally fine" she lied.
"Really?," Laura inquired "because at breakfast you seemed to have something on your mind.
"God she's observant!" Kate thought.
"Well you see," she started trying to think of a reason for her sudden behavior "it's just been a lot lately you know. My mom being arrested, meeting and fighting alongside Clint, almost dying at least twice it's just…it's been a lot."
This was not wholly untrue. The events of the last few days where full of twists and turns and betrayals. Her mother's actions, Yelena hunting Clint, the fight again the Tracksuit Mafia and even later on the Kingpin of Crime. It had all taken a toll on the young archer, her unrequited feelings towards her idol notwithstanding.
"I understand," Laura said placing a comforting hand on Kate's shoulder "it's been a chaotic time lately and you've gone through so much. But know you can talk to me about everything."
The mother of three smiled at Kate, who couldn't help but smile back.
"Thank you Laura, I really appreciate it" Kate said.
"Always," Laura said smiling as she sat next to Kate on the bed "I'm just glad it has nothing to do with you watching me and my husband have sex last night."
Time stood still for Kate as she stood there with her mouth agape but not a single sound escaping from it. Laura waved her hand in front of the young archer's face to catch her attention, but all Kate did was stare.
"Kate are you there?" Laura asked worried.
Kate shook her head to get herself out of the shock and was met by Laura's surprising warm smile.
"But…how…what…" Kate mumbled confused.
"Sweetheart I was a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, being observant of everything around me was my job. Of course I noticed that you where spying on us, and of course the longing looks you keep giving my husband."
Kate never wanted anything more than for the ground to just swallow her now. This was the worst possible scenario she could think off aside from Clint himself finding out about this.
"I'm sorry," Kate cried out distraught "I didn't mean too…I just….and I didn't want…" Kate could barely make out her words, guilt and shame dug into her like a hot knife. She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she didn't even dare to look up at Laura.
She expected a scolding, but instead to her shock, she got a comforting hug.
"It's okay sweetie, I'm not upset I promise" she said in an almost motherly tone.
Kate didn't know how to react, she could barely control the tears welling up in her eyes. Laura patted her on the back and returned to her sweet smile as she looked at the young woman in front of her.
Using the sleeve of her shirt, Laura wiped away the tears in Kate's eyes as the young archer tried her best to calm down.
"Why aren't you upset…what I did was wrong?" Kate mumbled out, lowering her head as to not meet Laura's gaze.
"I knew from the moment you walked through my door that you and my husband shared a special bond, and that it meant a lot to you. So figuring out you liked him was easy. But tell me Kate, how did this occur?"
Kate was perplexed by the question. This woman, the wife of the man she had been secretly crushing on for years was asking her, point blank, how and why she started crushing on her husband.
Kate took a deep breath and spoke up "I was a kid when the attack on New York happened and I lost my dad. And then I saw Clint and….he saved me. And as I grew up, I wanted to be like him, strong enough to protect my mother. He….he inspired me…he's….my hero."
Laura listened attentively to the story, waiting until Kate had spoken her piece. And then she smiled once more.
"So that's what he means to you" Laura said, to which Kate nodded silently. Placing a hand on the girl's shoulder, Laura told her "maybe you should tell him how you feel."
Kate felt once more like she was a windows PC that was in the middle of crashing since she once again did not expect this response from Laura. What was she suggesting? Was Kate dreaming all this?
"Wait what?" Kate blurted out, perhaps a bit louder than expected.
"But he's your husband….I can't…What would he think of me? What would you think of me and…"
"Kate," Laura interrupted tightening her hand around the girl's shoulder to get her attention "you should know mine and Clint's relationship hasn't exactly been monogamous."
"The nature of our jobs meant that sometimes we were send away on long missions for sometimes months on end. So in that time we made an agreement that we were allowed to see other people, but we would always go back to one another."
Kate's mouth was, once more completely agape by this revelation.
"And if it helps, you wouldn't be the first partner that has had feelings for him" Laura finished.
This shook Kate out of her trance as she rubbed her eyes for a clearer vision.
"You mean Natasha?" she asked, to which Laura nodded.
"When Natasha first came here she was a broken woman who had been used as a weapon for half her life, she had nothing and in Clint she found something? A friend, a partner, even a lover."
"Clint and Natasha where lovers? And you knew about it and was okay with it" Kate once again blurted out loudly.
Laura just shrugged her shoulders "of course I knew about it, the signs of her feelings where everywhere and Clint tells me everything. He was conflicted about his feelings too, but I gave them my permission anyways because I could see that it helped them."
"Look I know this sounds really weird Kate and it's probably not what you expected. But I love Clint and I trust him and I know in the end he will always come back to me and our family. And now I see you here in the same situation like Natasha before you and I will tell you the same thing I told her. Go to him and tell him how you feel and what may happen afterwards, you have my permission."
Kate felt like crying, for a multitude of reasons now, but mostly because she couldn't believe how understanding and even how giving Laura was at this moment. She expected a scorned and angry wife who would tell her to get out of her house, but instead she was met with understanding and even encouragement to reveal her lingering feelings to the object of her affections, who was Laura's own husband.
"I can't," Kate responded "what if he doesn't like me, wants nothing to do with me after this, and I don't want to get in between you and him."
"You never will," Laura told her stern yet also sweet "if anything the different relationships we had with others helped us get closer to each other. It's all about trust and communication. I trust Clint more than anything and I know I can trust you as well Kate, you've shown me that much when you did everything you could to protect him."
Kate leaned forward to embrace Laura, needing to hear those words, not only of encouragement but also confirmation that her feelings weren't as wrong as she may have thought. Laura returned the embrace in kind.
"He's in the kitchen, go to him, tell him all you feel."
Kate's eyes filled up with determination as she stood up, took a deep breath and walked towards the door "thank you" she said to Laura smiling before she exited her room with renewed vigor.
And sure enough she found Clint in the kitchen cleaning the dishes.
As soon as she entered her renewed vigor and determination sank in her shoes. She had mapped out what she was going to say to him and now suddenly she couldn't make out the words.
Clint saw her walk in and turned to her "ah Kate, you doing alright? You seemed off at breakfast."
"Yeah totally fine," she started as she looked around the kitchen to see if there was no one else in sight "actually Clint can I talk to you about something?"
"Sure, what's up?" he said placing a clean coffee cup on the table as he walked up to her.
This was it? The moment of truth. She had to speak up now. But the words where stuck in her throat, even with Laura's encouragement would it be enough now.
"Uhm…" was all the managed to get out before she felt herself clam up and unable to say more. And Clint took notice of this.
Placing his hand on her shoulder he looked into her eyes "what's wrong Kate? You can tell me we're partners."
Partners. Yes they were. And that was her dream for the last decade, to be alongside Hawkeye, to protect people together, as a kid she wanted nothing more than to be like him. And as she grew up she wanted to be more to him. Always thinking those ideas where going to be left to the realm of fantasy, but now these ideas had a chance to become reality, she just needed to say it.
"I like you!" she suddenly blurted out.
She looked down, feeling unable to look at Clint's reaction "I grew up idolizing you, and then I met you and….and…" she then looked up to see Clint seemed awestruck by her confession "you were better than I could have ever imagined. Your strong and caring, you always do what's right, you didn't need to help me, but you did even if it put your plans of being with your family at risk. You chose to see this through with me even though I created this mess and….how could I not fall in love with a man like that."
Silence reigned in the kitchen as Clint didn't reply, just looking at Kate with a somewhat mild shocked reaction.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said this" Kate said. And before Clint could respond she had quickly run out of the kitchen, leaving him there alone.