Hey, its me with another update for you all, but i just wanted to say thankyou all sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for your amazing reviews, i never thought i would get this many and i never thought they'd be this great. You are all fantastic and i love you so much!
Disclaimer : Sadly and obviously i own absolutely nothing, though wouldn't it be cool if i did? i think shooting instant star in London would be awesome right?
Here goes...
Chapter 9 – Shrine of Empty Hope
Seven months she'd been gone, and it really just didn't seem like she was going to be coming back ever. Everyone was trying to come to terms with the fact that she'd really done it, it had really been too much for her and had driven her to leave like this. Mason knew there hadn't been a second passed without Tommy feeling guilty or feeling that it was his fault she was gone, and his fault that she had left. Although Sadie and Mason did the best they could to assure him but he still had nightmares.
As each day passed the burden lifted slightly and they were able to cope just a little bit more, but it was still hard, for all of them. They were mostly like zombies, wandering round not really knowing what to do, but they comforted each other no matter what. No matter what any of them tried to do there was always that air of incompleteness around everything, some feel of emptiness without her presence. No-one had touched anything in Jude's room, or even set foot in there, they simply opened the door every morning to see if maybe the last seven months had been a nightmare and that she had come back, but it was to no avail. In fact all of them had given up, and it was just Mason who made that same trip each morning, but her room was just a museum of all things Jude, her guitar, her picks, her C.D's and everything, a shrine. A shrine of empty hope.
For her the last six months had been perfect; things with Rob were going great, she knew she could never forget Tommy, and there were still times whilst she was with Rob that she thought about him. A part of her heart would always belong to him and she couldn't deny that, but she was never going to see him again and she couldn't save herself for something she was never going to have. She would always love him more than anything but she felt good with Rob, and he really liked her. He'd told her he loved her and out of politeness she'd said it back, but she didn't know if she really meant it. She'd always believe that you could only ever be in love with one person, soul mates. Tommy was hers but she knew that unless he realized it she would have to settle with loving someone not being in love. Ever since 'Mackenzie' (she still went by her fake name) and Rob had started dating the music from them had become so much better, she'd started hitting all those high notes properly and that pleased the band more than anything, they were actually gathering small crowds in the street and they were performing original Jude songs. She wished she was Jude Harrison being produced by Tommy Quincy in G-Major but she wasn't, she was Mackenzie performing on street corners. She had to make sure that she didn't let her real name slip and she was starting to feel less and less like Jude, the thought was scary.
Tommy had been deep in thought throughout the whole plane ride and it had worried Emi, she had never seen her father like this before and it scared her, when she had gotten up to go to the toilet he had gotten a picture of Jude out and he was lost in thought when she came back.
'She's bootiful Daddy.' Emi said tiredly.
'Yes, she is isn't she?' he asked more to himself than her.
'Who is she?' the little girl probed.
Tommy sighed. 'She was a singer that your Daddy used to produce, but things got close between us in the studio and then I had to leave to take care of you, she got upset with me and she ran off, that's why we've been staying with Sadie for a while, she is Sadie's little sister.'
It felt good for him to confide in Emi and he felt as if a burden had been lifted from him, how could someone so young understand him so well? Then he felt the same with Jude, how could someone so young make him feel that way?
'Did you love her?' she replied.
'Very much.' He finished and she knew not to ask him any more, she was so clever it scared him.
So here he was walking down the streets of London on his second night in the city when a faint song drifted to his ears, so quiet he didn't know if he was imagining it.
I tried to tell you
I've got to get away
I tried to say
I need my space
I got to get some
Distance in between
My heart and my head
I'm on the razor's edge
I've been here before
I know the way
He didn't know that Jude's music was recognized in England, in fact he was sure it had never been released over there. He was confused, he tried to walk towards the source of the music.
White Lines
And headlights in my eyes
White Lines
I'm ready to drive all night
White Lines
How many til' I'm in your arms?
White Lines
Will bring me home
Ooooh lines will bring me home
He stopped for just a second, remembering the kiss that followed it, the confession she gave him. The sparks, the attraction, the love. He carried on.
I held you in
My arms last night
I dreamed we were
Riding on a star
I kissed you
And the sun began to shine
In dreams I can do anything
It seems like
I'm on my own
Feels like
I'm losing it all
He recognized the voice belting out the lyrics, it sounded somehow more mature. Was his mind playing tricks on him?
White Lines
And headlights in my eyes
White Lines
I'm ready to drive all night
White Lines
How many til' i'm in your arms?
White Lines
Will bring me...
It was her voice, he was sure of it. He walked on in high anticipation wanting to believe she was there, he started to run.
Seems like
I've been here before
I know the way
Oh! Seems like
I've been on my own
So long, So long
He rounded the last corner as she began the last chorus and stared at the girl singing the lyrics. He made out the brown hair and ark skin and it wasn't her, his face fell as he moved closer to hear the music.
White Lines
And headlights in my eyes
White Lines
I'm ready to drive all night
White Lines
How many til' i'm in your arms?
White Lines
Will bring me home
There was no mistaking those beautiful blue eyes. It was her no mistake. She looked so different, so much more mature, but there was no denying it was her. He waited patiently hanging back slightly as they finished the song and watched as she stood there scanning the crowd as her band went to pack their instruments away and when she was alone he walked up behind her.
'Jude?' he asked reluctantly, fearing the reaction.
She recognized the voice and though she couldn't bring herself to walk away she couldn't turn around either. Wordlessly she made the motion and spun so that she was staring him straight in the eye, before trying to walk away almost instantly. He grabbed her wrist as gently as he could forcing her to look at him.
'Please.' He whispered. 'Just stay for a…'
He was interrupted by Rob coming up behind her and telling her it was a great show before giving her a quick kiss and telling her they had to go soon. Tommy looked at her questioningly with hurt evident in his eyes and she looked away.
'Starbucks tomorrow at 9.' She commanded before letting herself be dragged away into the crowd, something compelled her to let him explain.
'I'll be there.' He said to himself. 'Even if you aren't.'
Home.
He thought to himself, he'd do anything he could just to bring her home. To get her back. It wouldn't be easy but he would try with all he could. With all the strength he could muster, all the strength that he posessed, but most of all, with all the love for her that he contained in his heart. And that was the most important part. To love her enough to make sure that he brought her back.
Home.
Okay, so there you have it, and because i have been quite mean and not thanked you all enough for your reviews, which again i would just like to say are absolutely amazing, i am going to post two chapters at once so as soon as i have posted this i will be editing the next chapter (which i have already typed up and uploaded into my documents) ready to post and it should be up within the next hour or so, although my time doesn't exactly match up with most of yours because i am in England lol, but hey there will be two chapters waiting for you because well you are the greatest.
I would also like to say that there is only about three more chapters left after the double update today and if i can get my typing up and editing done the whole story should be up by Friday at the latest. That is if i dont get swamped with homework lol the pleasures!
i am thinking of writing a sequel so i would appreciate it if you would tell me what you think when the story gives you some closure and you actually know what happens lol. i will be really sad to end this fic in the next week though because it was my first instant star fic and only my third fic ever. But hey i am keeping the instant star ideas alive and i have a few for some one shot songfics lol and a humour one shot if i can get it to work right lol.
Well enough of me moaning and whatever, next chapter going up just for you guys my lovely reviewers!
Much Love
Sofi x