CW: Contains strong language (including the use of the homophobic 'f' slur), obsessive and possessive thoughts (if you're like this, stop it. Get some help) and implied sexual content.

This is meant to be an in-depth fan interpretation of Michael. None of this follows the canon narrative of South Park. The characters here will be in high school. This also takes place in an alternate universe where Covid doesn't exist.

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If there was one thing Michael hates other than all those preppy conformist assholes in the world, it would be his emotions. Feelings aren't goth, as he would say. Or in other words, he thinks that his emotions make him look weak. Vulnerable. A crying little pussy as he would put it.

Michael would always be under the guise of being emotionless, especially around his friends. He's not the type of person to concern himself with such things. Deep down, he kept all of his emotions locked away in his heart. He's a person of logic so his feelings overruling his thoughts wouldn't make sense to him. Every once in a while, his emotions would just slip out but it was only for a fleeting moment. He hid his feelings as if they're his dirty little secret locked away in a dark empty room. Eventually, his feelings kept piling up, becoming a heavier burden on his heart. The more he pushed away his emotions, the harder they are to hide. Until he can't hide them anymore. It'll start to gush out like water bursting out of a broken dam. It seems out of character for Michael to lash out since he usually looks so calm on the outside. On the inside however, it's quite the opposite. Michael does feel like any normal human being. He just hid his heart away so it wouldn't get crushed.

His heart had been broken when his parents had a terrible divorce. It was the pivot to why he became the angst-ridden goth he is today. He was only nine. Michael would stay in his room and listen to the sound of his parents arguing at each other. Later on, those petty arguments turned to yelling while he would just curl up into a ball of despair.

"You know very well I'm trying to keep this family together!"

"By what?! You're the one who's driving us apart!"

"Me?! I'm the one who's thinking what's best for you and our son! You're the one who's insisting I don't love the both of you for who you are!"

Their arguing became a routine for them. Every night, Michael would hear the shouts and screams through the walls of his rooms. The noise would always go on and on through the night, making Michael lose sleep. There was no peace in his own household. His parents were too wrapped up in their argument that they never bothered to check up on him. They would go back and forth in their own never ending battle, not knowing that their own son is hurting inside. This was something Michael grew used to. He knew his parents were too caught up in their own problems to care about him so he sucked it up and repressed his feelings, not bothering to tell his mom and dad about what's bothering him because he knew they won't listen.

Some time later, his parent's arguments started to centre around him, insinuating that Michael is part of their problem.

"You know Michael needs to learn how to stand up for himself right?"

"And let him get bullied by the other kids? No! Have you seen the bruises on his face? It's our job to make sure our son doesn't get hurt anymore!"

"Do you want him to learn how to be a man or not? I'm telling you if he doesn't man up sooner or later, he'll be a wimp for the rest of his life!"

"Don't you dare talk about our son like that!"

What his father said about 'manning up' stuck with Michael with the rest of his life. What Michael internally processed from his father's words are "you can't allow yourself to be weak."

"You can't allow yourself to cry in front of people. By doing so, you're just gonna be a little faggot for the rest of your life."

Michael isn't close with his father but for some reason, what he said did make an impact on his personality. It stuck to him like roots growing from his heart to his whole body. From then on, Michael swore to himself to never let his guard down in front of everybody. He tries his best to not show how he's feeling in front of everyone so he won't show any signs of weakness. He knew that this is a stereotypical, 'men can't cry' way of thinking but he can't help himself. He has to hold himself back. Michael started to numb himself from whatever strong emotions he'll be feeling. Instead, he chose to feel nothing except pain and emptiness.

A part of Michael feels that he should shove his feelings aside is because he's afraid of getting hurt, even by the people he cares about. This obviously stems from the fact that his parents separating when he was a kid. The fallout of their relationship was inevitable. As the bitter screams tore both of his parents apart, so did Michael. If he ever did get into a relationship, it'll eventually lead to a terrible breakup. Or a divorce. And that scares Michael.

With the thought of drifting further apart in a relationship, Michael felt his heart bled out as it had just been impaled. Even after his heart was shattered, he was compelled to bury it inside himself. He can't bring himself to love someone. He can't afford to catch feelings for someone. He's not worthy of loving anyone. Not after his parents divorced. If love doesn't work for his parents, why should it work for him?

Despite having a small clique of friends by his side, Michael can't help but feel alone. Sure he considered his friends as his own family but he still feels empty as if there's a hole where his heart should be. However, Michael chose to not fix the hole in his heart because he doesn't see the point of pursuing love and romance. It's all pointless to him. After all, wallowing in emptiness is pretty goth.

Then, there's you.

You're a conformist like the rest of the entire fucking human race but…you're different than the rest of them. You were always with him ever since you both were kids. With your beautiful (h/c) hair, (e/c) eyes and your precious smile to go along with your kind personality.

The best part about you was that you stood by his side, all the time. Whether he was getting bullied, whenever he's feeling sad or when you both were simply hanging out. You have this warm, friendly aura that feels so welcoming to him. He won't ever admit it but you make him feel so safe. So alive. You were like a guardian angel that was sent down from the heavens tasked to be his one and only companion. You and him were meant to be together.

It's no secret that the both of you did have your fun, tender moments when the two of you played together. Even after Michael turned into the pessimistic goth he is today, he still appreciates the time you both spent together. You never judged him or his friends for being goth like all those loser conformists. Instead, you accepted him for who he is and what he became. You never abandoned him. It's ridiculous to think so but you complete Michael. You somehow snuck into the deepest depths of his soul and fixed his broken heart. You healed him. You were more than just a best friend to him. You're his muse. His source of inspiration. It felt so cheesy saying that out loud but it's true.

It's sickening for Michael to think about falling in love but he wants, actually no, he needs you. He needs you by his side. You were his reason to live in this shit hole he calls the world. Every now and then, he craves to be in your embrace. Affection is gross but your warm, gentle touch is what makes him melt in your arms. You make him feel at ease. You're the pillar of his comfort. His salvation.

Michael came to realise, he loves you.

Though it's more than just an endearing, Romeo and Juliet type of love. Michael's obsessed with you. Head over heels. Infatuated. Whichever word you want to use. That was an understatement. No words can describe how much he loves you. To say the least, Michael's love for you was intense. So intense that he wants to crawl into every nook and cranny of your body, enveloping your delicate body into his.

You belong to him. You always have been. And he would never let you go. Michael wants you to stay with him for the rest of his life as though his body grew vines and tangled you up, holding you hostage. You can't ever escape his suffocating grasp. He intends to keep you with him.

Forever.

If you do escape from him, Michael's heart would be shattered once again. This time, his whole world would crumble before him. You were everything to him. His pillar of support. Without you, Michael would die. Literally and figuratively.

Michael could remember it like it was yesterday. It was after his real mom left him for good. Both of you were sitting near Stark's Pond, with his head leaning onto your shoulder as usual. Now that his mother is gone, you were there to fill the void. You were so sweet, so gentle to him that he can always lean into your kind embrace. Just like he did with his mom. His grasp on you tightened, as if he's very unwilling to let you go.

Tears started to cloud his vision, "(Y/N), would you ever leave me?"

You turned to look at him confused. Then your reaction turned to surprise as you saw him crying into your shoulder.

You wiped off the tears from his face, "No. Never Michael. Never."

He sniffles as he held onto your arm. He hated being vulnerable the most but he couldn't help it. His mother's gone. He can't help that his strong emotions are overwhelming him like a giant wave crashing onto him. You were his only hope as much as he hated the idea of it. His whole world turned to darkness and you were the only beacon of light he could see.

"Promise me," Michael choked between sobs, "Promise that you won't leave me like my mom did…" His grasp on you grew tighter as if he's tying you to him, "I don't want…to lose you…please…don't go anywhere…don't leave me…"

As Michael's whimpers turned to loud sobs, deaf to the world around him, your arms wrapped around his cold body.

He could hear your soothing whispers while being patted his back, "It's ok. I'm here. I won't go anywhere. There's nothing to worry about. I'm still here."

Michael looked up at you to see your soft, tender face, "You won't? You sure about that?"

"I promise. I won't forsake you."

You felt so warm. You truly were an angel that flew down from the sky to save him from falling deeper into despair. He craves for more of your touch. He wants to sink into you as if you're the ocean that's pulling him deep down, drowning him. He needs to you. He'll never let you go.

You were his. Only his.

But he's afraid that you'll push him away one day. He's terrified of your rejection. There will come a time when you'll give him a cold stare and walk away from him, not turning back even once. This sends Michael spiralling into a vat of doubt and despair. He doesn't want you to leave. You can't. You promised him. He just wants you. Only you. He can't let you leave him. He must have you.

Luckily for Michael, he never confessed his feelings for you yet. He has to remember that he can't let himself fall that hard. It'll only lead to heartbreak and sadness. He can't afford to have his heart broken again, especially by you. He hopes to Satan that you would never reject his love.

It's so ludicrous for Michael to think of such thoughts. It's unlike him at all. But when it comes to you, he'll do anything for you. He'll do anything that can make you stay by his side. Most importantly, he won't let anyone have you. They can all die in a ditch. You only matter to him aside from his friends. Nobody can touch you. Only he has the right to touch you.

He knows he's being selfish. Extremely selfish. Michael already knows that but he wants to protect you like you did for him. He genuinely cares for you so much that he wants to return the favour.

Right now, Michael's sitting on his desk, thinking of the perfect poem to write about you while reflecting on his feelings towards you at the same time. He feels a plethora of emotions for you. Most of them are positive. The rest of them are so dark that it can suck him into the void. He took a photo of you on his desk. You look so pleasant in the photo with your beaming, contagious smile. Michael could feel a small smile creeping up his face. He kissed the photo he had of you, only to realise what he's doing right now.

He facepalmed, "Ugh! What's the matter with me? Why do I feel this way? I shouldn't…"

The curly haired goth is aware of his emotions yet he doesn't understand them at all. It serves to confuse and frustrate him the more he thinks of it. He shouldn't be feeling emotional about someone at all but it's you that he's thinking about.

A part of him told him, "No Michael. You can't let yourself fall that hard."

The other part of Michael was comfortable delving into his own intense emotions for you. At the moment, he wants you here in his room. He wants to pull you close and relish your scent. He wants to mark you as a reminder of his love for you. He wants to do all sorts of unspeakable things with you on his bed. You're special to him. You've always have been.

He held the photo close to his lips while his other hand slid down into his pants to cup his sex, giving it a light squeeze. Michael let out a soft moan as he pictured you under him. His body was heating up from the ecstasy.

"(Y/N)…" he muttered as he continued to pleasure himself with an image of you imprinted on the darkest corners of his mind.

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A/N: I thought I'd finish this chapter in just a few days but due to my procrastination habits, I only did little by little but hey, it's finally done. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. There'll be more to come since I'm still on holiday. I'll have to think of what gonna happen for the next chapter now that I'm finished. Hopefully it will spice things up a lot more