(Cut to a CU of a pile of toys. We tilt up and see the Professor

balancing them telepathically He carefully balances the last piece on top,

then sits back and sighs. Magneto storms in, though, and the

pile collapses.)

Magneto: Professor, I have found a solution to the problem with

Rogue.

Pietro: Yeah! The problem with Rogue!

Professor: Oh, really?

Magneto: (using powers to open a book and make it hover in front of the Professor) Right here. "If the princess has not chosen a husband by the appointed time,

then the headmaster shall choose for her."

Xavier: But Rogue hated all those suitors! (He tries to

stuff a blow pop into Pietro's mouth. Pietro backs

away. The Professor absentmindedly pulls the Blow pop

back.) How could I choose someone she hates?

(Pietro is relieved, but the Professor quickly stuffs a

Blow pop in his mouth.)

Magneto: Not to worry, Charles. There is more. If, in the

event a suitable prince cannot be found, a princess

must then be wed to...hmm...interesting.

Xavier: What? Who?

Magneto: The assistant headmaster! Why, that would be...me!

Xavier: Why, I thought the law says that only a prince can

marry a princess, I'm quite sure.

Magneto: Desperate times call for desperate measures, Charles. (He pulls out the hypnotizer thing and hypnotizes the

Professor with it.)

Xavier: Yes...desperate measures...

Magneto: You will order Rogue to marry me.

Xavier: I...will order...Rogue...to...(the spell

breaks momentarily)...but you're so old!

Magneto: (Holds the staff closer) Rogue will marry

me!

Xavier: Rogue will marry...(the spell is again

broken, this time by the trumpet fanfare of "Prince

Ali"…I mean… "Wolverine".) What? What is that? That music! Ha ha ha.

Erik., you must come and see this!

Allison: Make way for Wolverine
Say hey! It's Wolverine

Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's an awesome old star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!

Wolverine! Fabulous he!
The Feral Canadian
Genuflect, show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
He is absolutely the bomb
Then come and meet his spectacular coterie

Wolverine!
Mighty is he!
The Feral Canadian
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping hordes
A hundred bad guys with swords
Who sent those goons to their lords?
Why, Wolverine

He's got tons of war stories to ramble
Personality
He's wild and free
When it comes to exotic-type mammals
Has he seen a zoo?
I'm telling you, it's a world-class menagerie

Wolverine! Handsome is he, The Feral Canadian
That physique! How can I speak
Weak at the knee
Well, get on out in that square
Adjust your x-suit and prepare
To gawk and grovel and stare at Wolverine!

There's no question this Wolvie's alluring
Never ordinary, never boring
Everything about the man just plain impresses
He's a winner, he's a whiz, a wonder!
He's about to pull my heart asunder!
And I absolutely love the way he dresses!

He's fought and beaten up Victor Creed
(Kicked his ass, Kicked his ass)
And to view the fight he charges no fee
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got attitude, he's got Fan girls and Fan boys
(Proud to work for him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They're just lousy with loyalty to Wolverine! Wolverine!

Wolverine!
Amorous he! Wolverine the Feral Canadian
Heard he loves drinkin' his beer in that bar down the street
And that, good people, is why he got a cigar and dropped by
With his buddy Gambit, women galore
With his Harley Davidson
Maybe a bike or two more
With his wicked hair, his aura, his stare
He's' the COOLEST can't you see
Make way for Wolverine!

(More and more fanfare build up until Gambit jumps off storm's back

on Harley and drives down to the Professor, Wolverine right in front of him. Magneto slams the

door shut using his magnetical powers.)

Professor: (Clapping) Splendid, absolutely marvelous.

Gambit: (To Wolverine) Ummm…wasn't that song supposed to be about me? To help me win Rogue's heart? Who was that?

Wolverine: Sorry, she gets out of control sometimes…Allison's the only one I know who can sing… (Talks louder.) Ahem. Hey Chuck, this is Prince…(to Gambit) what should I call you?

Gambit: Remy LeBeau…

Wolverine: Prince Remy. Remy LeBeau. He wants to marry Stripes. (meaning Rogue…if you haven't guessed)

Xavier: Prince Remy LeBeau! Of course. I'm delighted to

meet you. (He rolls over and shakes Gambit's hand.)

This is my assistant headmaster, Erik Lensherr. He's delighted

too.

Magneto: (Extremely dryly) Ecstatic. I'm afraid, Prince

LeBooboo--

Gambit: --LeBeau!

Magneto: Whatever. You cannot just parade in here uninvited

and expect to--

Xavier: ...by Cerebro, this is quite a remarkable device.

(He revs the handles of Harley and Harley rams his wheelchair.) I don't suppose I might...

Gambit: Why certainly, Professor. Allow me. #How the hell is he supposed to ride it if he's crippled?#

(He helps the Professor up onto the Harley, and he plops down.

Magneto stops the Harley with his powers.)

Magneto: Charles, I must advise against this--

Xavier: --Oh, button up, Magneto. Learn to have a little fun.

(He makes Magneto let go with his powers, then drives around on Harley. Pietro, who

was leaning on Harley, falls down. Xavier and

Harley drive in a circle, then go really fast toward Storm,

Scaring her. The drive continues in the

background, while Magneto and Gambit talk in the foreground.)

Magneto: Just where did you say you were from?

Gambit: Oh, much farther than you've traveled, I'm sure.

(He smiles. Magneto does not.)

Magneto: Try me. (Pietro leans on Xavier's desk.)

Xavier: Look out, Petey!

(They all jump away in time as the Harley whizzes past them. Harley returns and they chases Pietro around the room.)

Pietro: Hey, watch it. Watch it with the dumb bike!

Wolverine: …Bike…dumb? …grr…

(The Harley zooms near Pietro, who sighs, wipes his brow, and

crashes into a pillar. He crashes to the floor, and his head

is circled by miniature Xaviers on Harleys, saying "Have a Blow Pop,

have a Blow Pop. The real Xavier begins his final approach.)

Xavier: Out of the way, I'm coming in to park. Magneto,

watch this! (He parks.)

Magneto: Spectacular, Charles.

Xavier: Ooh, lovely. Yes, I do seem to have a knack for

it. (Harley rolls over to Storm dizzily, then

collapses. Storm catches it.) This is a very

impressive young man. And a prince as well. (Whispers

to Magneto) If we're lucky, you won't have to marry

Rogue after all.

Magneto: I don't trust him, Charles.

Xavier: Nonsense. One thing I pride myself on Magneto, I'm

an excellent judge of character.

Pietro: Oh, excellent judge, yeah, sure...not!

(Rogue walks in quietly.)

Xavier: Rogue will like this one!

Gambit: And I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Rogue!

Magneto: Professor, no. I must intercede on Rogue's

behalf. (Rogue hears this and gets mad.) This

boy is no different than the others. What makes

him think he is worthy of the princess?

Gambit: Professor, I am Prince Remy LeBeau! (He flicks Magneto's helmet, which falls off. (almost ruining his perfect cape.)) Just let her meet me. I will win

Rogue!

Rogue: How dare you! (They all look at her surprised.)

All of you, standing around deciding my future? I

am not a prize to be won! (She storms out.)

Xavier: Oh, dear. Don't worry, Prince Remy. Just give

Rogue time to cool down. (They exit.)

Magneto: I think it's time to say good bye to Prince

LeBooboo.