(Cut to the palace entrance. The PROFESSOR is standing on top, making
an announcement to the people.)
Professor: People of New York, Rogue has finally chosen a
suitor!
(Cut to behind the curtain, where ROGUE is peeking. GAMBIT
appears at the bottom of the stairs.)
Gambit: Rogue?
Rogue: Remy, where have you been?
Gambit: There's something I've got to tell you.
Rogue: The whole kingdom has turned out for the Professor's
announcement!
Gambit: No! But Rogue, listen to me, please!
Rogue: Good luck! (She pushes him out onto the platform
with the PROFESSOR, where he overlooks the entire
crowd.)
Professor: ...Remy LeBeau!
Gambit: Oh, boy!
(Far above, PIETRO and MAGNETO watch through a window.)
Pietro: Look at them, cheering that little pipsqueak.
Magneto: Let them cheer.
(He lifts the lighter and flicks it. WOLVERINE comes out.)
Wolverine: You know Remy, I'm getting (turns and sees MAGNETO)
reallyyyyyy--I don't think you're him. (He
descends and consults a playbill.) Tonight, the
role of Remy will be played by a tall, dark and
sinister ugly man with a helmet and perfect cape.
Magneto: I am your master now. (He throws WOLVERINE to the
ground and puts his foot on Wolverine's face.)
Wolverine: I was afraid of that.
Magneto: Wolverine, grant me my first wish. I wish to rule on
high, as Headmaster!
(Cut to ext where dark clouds circle the mansion. The mansion shakes.
The roof rips off and the PROFESSOR and GAMBIT duck.)
Gambit: Merde!
Professor: Bless my soul. What is this? What is going on?
(His blanket lifts off his lap. When he grabs it, his whole body
flies up, then is stripped of all his clothing except his boxer
shorts. The clothing reappears on MAGNETO.)
Magneto: Heh heh heh!
Professor: Magnus, you vile betrayer.
Pietro: That's Headmaster Vile Betrayer to you.
Gambit: Oh, yeah? Well, we'll just see about that! (reaches inside trench coat) The lighter!
Magneto: Finders-keepers, LeBooboo.
(They both look up and see a gigantic WOLVERINE lift the palace into
the clouds.. GAMBIT whistles and HARLEY drives up to greet him.
They drive up near the Wolverine's head.)
Gambit: Wolverine! No!
Wolverine: Sorry, kid--I got a new master now. (He places the
mansion on top of a mountain.)
Professor: Magneto, I order you to stop!
Magneto: There's a new order now--my order! Finally, you
will bow to me!
(The Professor bows, but Rogue does not.)
Rogue: We'll never bow to you!
Pietro: Why am I not surprised?
Magneto: If you will not bow before a Headmaster, then you will
cower before a mutant! (To Wolverine) Wolverine, my
second wish--I wish to be the most powerful
mutant in the world!
(Wolverine extends his finger. Gambit tries to stop him, but he cannot,
and another Wolverine (tm) brand lightning bolt strikes Magneto,
returning him to his normal look.)
Pietro: Ladies and gentlemen, a warm New York welcome for
Mutant Magneto!
Magneto: Now where were we? Ah, yes--abject humiliation!
(He zaps Rogue and the Professor with his powers, and
they both bow to him. Jean comes running at him.
He zaps Jean, and the Phoenix turns into Jean Grey.) Oh, princess--(lifts her chin
Using a magnetic field)--there's someone I'm dying to
introduce you to.
Gambit: (off-camera) Magneto! Get your hands off her!
(Magneto zaps Gambit. Harley flies away.)
Magneto: Prince Remy
Yes, it is he,
But not as you know him.
Read my lips and come to grips
With reality
(Magneto brings the two of them closer in the air.)
Yes, meet a blast from your past
Whose lies were too good to last
Say hello to your precious Prince Remy!
(Magneto zaps Remy back to Gambit.)
Pietro: Or should we say Gambit?
Gambit: Rogue, I tried to tell you.
Magneto: So Remy turns out to be merely a swamp rat
Just a con, need I go on?
Take it from me
His personality flaws
Give me adequate cause
To send him packing on a one-way trip
So his prospects take a terminal dip
His assets frozen, the venue chosen
Is the ends of the earth, whoopee!
So long,
Pietro: Good bye, see ya!
Magneto: Ex-Prince Remy!
(Magneto has zapped Storm back to normal. He sends the two of them into
a tall pillar, then launches it like a rocket, but not before
Harley can get in.)